1. THE FAVOR
It was shortly after lunch, and Mary and Murray were busy working.
Chuckles the Clown walked into the newsroom. He was dressed normally, not in his clown costume.
"Hi, Chuckles."
"Mary, would you be willing to do a HUGE favor for me?"
"Uh, depends on what it is."
"Susan, my usual assistant, called in sick, today—and I can't got another girl to replace her! Would you please be my assistant—just for today?"
"Gee, I don't know, Chuckles. I'm kinda busy, today."
"Oh, Mary, I'm desperate! I'll tell you what: I'll give you $100 to do it."
"Well. . . OK."
"Wonderful! OK, the segment you're on starts at 3:30, so please be there by 2:30."
"I'll be there."
"Thanks, Mary."
"You're welcome."
He left.
Murray shook his head. "Mare, you're not aware of what you're getting into! He loves to get his assistant very messy!"
"I know, Mur! But it so happens that I need the money; my rent's due, soon!"
2. THE SHOW
(Chuckles is in his full clown outfit. Mary is wearing clown shirt and pants. She's blindfolded and barefooted. There is a table with pies all over it, and also a seltzer bottle. Pies are also on the stage floor.)
Chuckles—Hello again, kiddies! Suzy, my usual assistant, couldn't be here today. So let's greet Mary!
(The kids cheer.)
Today, she is going to play a game called Guess the Pie. As you can see, she's blindfolded. Without the use of her eyes, she must guess what each pie is. Are you ready, Mary?
Mary—Uh, I guess so!
Chuckles—Excellent!
(He walks over to her.)
Now walk slowly. I'll guide you.
(He guides her towards one of the pies on the floor. She steps into it. The kids laugh.)
OK, can you guess what kind of pie this is?
Mary—Um. . . It feels like just a whipped cream pie.
Chuckles—Yes! You guessed it!
(The kids cheer.)
Now, continue walking.
(Again, he guides her. She steps into another pie.)
Now, can you guess this one? You might be able to smell it.
Mary (thinking a bit)-Chocolate?
Chuckles—Yes! It's a chocolate cream pie!
(Cheers)
Now, guess what this is.
(He picks up a pie from the table and splats her in the face with it! Much laughter.)
Mary—Um. . . lemon.
(Chuckles—Very good!
(Cheers)
Now, here's one more.
(He splats her with another pie. Much laughter.)
Mary—I think it's strawberry.
Chuckles—Excellent! You've done very well! Hasn't she, kids?
(They cheer.)
You can take your blindfold off now, Mary.
(She takes it off and looks at herself.)
You're a little messy, aren't you?
Mary—Just a little!
Chuckles—Well, I can soon remedy that!
(He picks up the seltzer bottle, shakes it up and sprays it all over her!)
There, that's better, isn't it!
(The kids scream and clap.)
Mary—Say, kids, how would you like to see Chuckles get pied?
(They cheer. She picks up the other pies and splat him with them. Then she picks up the bottle, shakes it up, and sprays him with it. Soon, he's as messy as she is! The kids go wild!)
Chuckles—Uh, well. . . Let's give a big hand for Assistant Mary!
(They cheer. The show goes to commercial.)
AFTERWARD
At 4:30, Mary came back to her desk. She was dressed in her regular clothes. She carried a large cardboard box.
"Don't say a word, Mur!"
"Well, I DID warn you about him!"
"Yes, you did." She sat down.
"At least he gave you special clothes to wear."
"That's true. But I think I've still got pie gunk on my feet!" She took her shoes off and picked at her toes.
"Did he give you the money?"
"Yes, he did-$150."
"I thought it was $100."
"When he told me what he wanted me to do, I made him give me more."
"Oh! Say, what's in the box?"
"A chocolate cream pie. He gives them to all his guests."
"I see."
At that moment, Ted came in.
"Hi, Mare! I watched Chuckles' show. You looked SO funny, covered in those pies! You should do that again, some time!"
SPLAT!