That's Life!

Chapter 1: Tails learns about sx

Welcome to the first chapter of "That's life!" Basically, the freedom fighters have killed Eggman, so they're living in a big house together.

Sonic was sitting in the kitchen. he was already on his ninth cup of espresso, and was feeling even more tense than Kirsty Allie's belt. he was reading the only magazine in the house, "Better Homes Than You Can Afford," and eating a bowl of crunchy surprise and was on an article about bay windows, when Sally came in.

"Sonic." she said, tapping him on the shoulder.

Sonic actually jumped THROUGH the cieling. as a matter of fact, he actually jumped out of his boxers, too.

As he re-entered through the front door, he was picking drywall out of his quills.

"What? Why did you scare me to death?"

"I've been thinking... And..."

"You think we're ready to take our relationship up a notch?" He said.

"NO! I think tails is ready for "The Talk."

"Can you and I give him a demonstation?"

"NO! please, take your mind off your manhoods for a minute, and listen! Tails still believes that crap about the stork! He needs to know. And if you're looking for some action, why not try Amy?"

"Hell, no! She's too young for me! We may be dating, but that's just sick!"

"And this comes from someone currently dating-" She stopped to count. "FIVE different girls?"

"Well it's not like I've (Censored for content) any of them yet!" The minute he said that, he knew it was a mistake.

"You're... a virgin?"

"..........Yes."

"Well, that changes everything! we need to plan a "special" night together ;)"

"Really?00"

"Yep! But first, you need to give Tails 'The Talk.'"

Sonic gulped. This wouldn't be easy.

Tails was playing with a bottle of glue and a tiny city.

"And the citizens run as the volcano begins it's eruption." Then he gave an exasperated sigh. "This would be SO much cooler if Sally hadn't confiscated my fireworks!"

knock knock knock

"Access Granted." Tails said.

Sonic came in. "Tails." he said, sitting him down on the bed. "We need to talk. about... Where babies come from. Really." Tails was silent. "When the... thing... goes into the... other thing... stuff comes..."

Tails looked confused.

"Okay, I'll demonstrate with your "Garnet" and "Zidane" dolls from FFIX" he made them talk.

"Zidane, I want to have a baby."

"Okay, honeymuffin, lets make one."

What followed next would have Tails traumatized for life

Sonic began making the two dolls do very innappropriate things for mentioning in a PG 13 fic.

"Oh, MAMA! Do you like it when I hold you like this?"

"Yes, YES! I love it, Zidane!"

"Well, I'll do it all night long!"

"YES all night!"

"So sweet! SO PRECIOUS!!!"

"Say my name!"

"I love you, Garnet!"

Then he stopped. "Any Questions?"

Tails slowly pointed to the two dolls. His eyes were the size of dinner plates. "Do you want those dolls? I don't really want 'em any more..."

"Gee, thanks!"

Sonic left the room, satisfied at his efforts.

Tails just sat there. "I think I wanna be castrated now..." he said.