It'd been a while since Fang had left. we still didn't know where he was. after that stunt he pulled leaving the note, we'd all been in a state of depression.

all those times he'd left me, you know, when the flock split, and when he died, he'd always come back.
every. single. time.

but not this time.

and just like the last times, i'd missed him. this time it was so much worse because i loved him so much and he knew it and he just left because he thought it was best.

was he crazy?!

i tried my best to hide my emotions from the flock. they had all gotten better; sort of. they didn't bring him up, but they all thought about him.
iggy was getting better at his "vision lessons", nudge was still reading her fashion magazines, angel took millions of pictures, gazzy was re-reading his book of explosives history, total and akila were normal (i guess.), Voice was MIA and jeb? not even going to go there. we all hid it really well, but it was the loudest thing in the room.

our silent cries to fang to come back.

he'd always been there for me. except lately. especially last night. i dreamed about him (again) but i just couldn't take it anymore.

i started writing a hasty note.

going out for a bit. be back as soon as i can. don't follow me.

as if they could.

love you all.
max.

talk about cheesy.

i left it on my bed, stepped onto the window sill, and jumped. i snapped my wings out and soared into the morning sky.

the wind felt good in my hair, but i couldn't feel the pleasure in it. i just stared ahead of me and thought about nothing. at least, i tried to think about nothing. it didn't work too well. i was thinking about that song by cascada, "every time we touch". it pretty much summed up everything about me and fang.

i went into overdrive and streaked as fast as i could away from the sun.

fang was right, with out him, my world was in shades of gray.

"Why?!" i screamed. "why?!" it felt like my voice was being shoved back into my lungs.

it's for the best, Voice said.

"shut up!"

all i could hear was the wind rushing past me. something dark flashed in my peripheral vision, and i almost swore it was fang, flying beside me again, but he wasn't there. all there was, was open sky.

looking down, i saw a cave in the mountain side. perfect.

i folded my wings in, angled down, and shot towards the earth. about fifty feet above ground, i flicked my wings out and landed running towards the cave.

inside, i crumpled into a heap of useless bird kid on the ground and sobbed. i sobbed heart wrenching, chest breaking sobs. if the flock saw me like this, they'd lock me in a padded room.

i stopped crying and started coughing when i accidentally ended up breathing in dirt and dust.

standing up, i walked to the mouth of the cave and screamed. "fang! you moronic jerk!" i spun around and hit the wall with both my fists. "you said you'd always be there for me!" i kicked it, probably fracturing a toe, but the only pain i could feel was in my heart. "you swore you would never leave me again!" i turned and punched the wall in front of me. my hands were bleeding, and i bet my foot was broken. i didn't care. i just didn't care anymore. "You said you loved me!" i jumped and round house kicked the next wall. "We've been through everything!" i hit another wall with both fists. "You knew i loved you! that i needed you! and you still left me!" i closed my eyes to hold back anymore tears, and swung both fists around to hit another wall.

but it wasn't a wall i hit. it was still hard, but it was a familiar hard. a familiar, warm, hard. when i opened my eyes, i was looking at a black shirt. then i looked up into familiar, dark, passive eyes.

it was fang.

"i told you not to look for me," he said.

"You think i was looking for you? i would've done that long ago jerk! if you didn't just hear me, you're deaf!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm letting out my anger! i couldn't let the flock see me like this! what would they think?"

he didn't look angry, or sound angry. he just looked... passive. indifferent. i couldn't read his stone eyes, even though i would've been able to before he left.

suddenly, he took my hands in his, and kissed me.

then i woke up.