Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING FROM DISNEY, HANNAH MONTANA INCLUSIVE!
A.N.: So I had re-watched my "Boys of Sumemr" youtube video that I made last year and was inspired to actually write a story for it. I know the video has a plot, but this is like the REAL plot in it. lol I took quotes, the plot and the lyrics from the video soooo watch the video after the story to see if you catch the key parts of the storyline haha
Enjoy! :)
Boys of Summer
The ocean was not shining, not glimmering. The sunlight had been covered by gray clouds, leaving the beautiful water less spectacular than we all knew it to be.
The waves rose and fell, tumbling onto the white, barren beach every few seconds. The power behind each crash was underestimated by many; how far that water would travel up to the shoreline, seeming so strong and confident that it will just keep on moving to it's heart's content. That was the everlasting strength of the sea.
But eventually something dies and that water is pulled away from all it had achieved and strived for; pulled back into that vast, dark and lonely expanse. Every drop washed away, only leaving a slight memory upon the now dampened sand. Though, in time, even that remnant would fade as the air once again dries the desolate sand.
Where did that passion of the waves go? For that matter, where does any passion go once it has reached it's peak? Sometimes it doesn't even get that far. What happens to the waves that are too timid, too fearful, to strive for greatness? To roll as far as the High Tide reaches. That's silly. Waves do not feel fear. They are forever empowered by their grand ocean. If only everyone could not be afraid.
I stood, leaning forward on a wooden banister on the boardwalk. Deep in thought, I watched the waves continuously lap at the beach as a late August breeze blew overhead. The sea spray it carried was chilling.
I tugged my purple windbreaker closer to my small body, making it my shield.
Fall was on its merry way, leaving the beach virtually empty. The boardwalk was pretty much abandoned. Game shops were closed up and food venders only opened for lunch. Even the seagulls knew this time of year meant less crumbs to scavenge. It was quiet. The summer seemed out of reach.
I sighed, pushing away from the railing. When had summer gone? How did it fly by, just like that?
My flip-flops snapped softly with every step I took; the sound amplified by the hallow boardwalk planks beneath me.
The coastal houses were in view as I neared the more urban side of the beach.
My feet stopped and I stared down to the floorboards in front of me. Sand blew lightly over my bare toes, another reminder of the growing breeze even as the sun peaked through the dusty gray clouds.
I chewed my inner cheek. I would not look up. I would not glance the small distance to my right. Not at that house. The only beachfront house with the white siding and an upstairs, wraparound deck. The only house with the largest sand dune, barricading the lawn. The only house which had that 1997 Cadillac, sporting a Dead Head bumper sticker, parked in the driveway.
The only house where my best friend and girl of my dreams lived.
No. I couldn't. I didn't want to look. But I did. Still the same as it had been when I moved here over 6 years ago. The only thing that was missing was that gorgeous, red, convertible which was usually parked where everyone could see it. I should have known she wouldn't be home..
Forcing my cemented feet into motion again, I drew my attention forward. I couldn't look back. I could never look back. Not at what wasn't there anymore. Not what I had given up 3 months ago.
Lilly Truscott. Lillian Diane Truscott, my best friend in the entire world, was, for a short period of time, so much more than that. I loved her deeply, with every little fiber in my body. Heck I still do. I know I do.
It was 14 months ago that I had said to her "Lilly, I think I like you...as more than a best friend.." It didn't seem like much, but that was all I could muster myself to say.
It was 13 months ago when she finally spoke to me again, saving our slowly crumbling friendship. We disproved the odds and salvaged it. Our friendship really proved to be everlasting.
It was 10 months ago when she told me she liked me and asked me to be her girlfriend. She told me she loved me.
It was 3 months ago when she asked me if I loved her... and 3 months ago I let her go.
I couldn't say that I loved her. Ironic, right? Hah. I know. I've replayed this irony in my mind so much it has become my favorite movie. I had told her I liked her, expressed my feelings, hoping for more between us.
But it was too soon. I just wasn't ready to commit to my feelings...
---
"Miley," she said my name in a sweet voice. That was the voice she used when she wanted something and was getting tired of asking. "Please? It's the first beach party of the summer. If my girlfriend doesn't go with me, I think we have a problem."
I sat on my plush couch, looking uncomfortable. She had already asked me twice and I had declined. She was torturing me with every guilty statement. "Lilly, I- I don't know. I'm not ready to be.." I motioned my arms, trying to describe the public world through hand gestures alone.
"Out?"
"..yeah.."
She gave me this sympathetic look while trying to conceal the hurt which was peeking from the corners of her eyes. "Fine.." she spoke reluctantly.
I stood and approached her shorter form. "Lilly, I-"
"No, don't worry. I'll go alone." Without even a look over her shoulder, she turned and exited my house. Like a coward, I stayed put, hoping that this situation would resolve itself in due time.
That night I called her, like usual, and we talked aimlessly for an hour or two. Then she slipped something into the conversation that I was not expecting. "Miley, do you love me?"
I was at a loss of words. I did. Of course I loved her. Constantly I showed her how I felt. But I had never said it. Sure I'd told Oliver that me and Lilly loved each other, but I never actually said those three words directly to Lilly. Only the occasional 'Love you'. It meant enough to me, but she never took it as sincere. I realized I had been silent for a long time. Her sigh broke me from my thoughts.
"Miley, I think we should see other people."
My brain froze and my breathing stopped. Was she serious? Were we really in such a far gone relationship that we couldn't find any other rational solutions?
"..What?" My voice was laced with pain as I breathed out the one word.
"Miley, it's summer," she stated matter of factually. "We have all the time in the world to spend with others. We're obviously drifting. So, why not? What's the problem?"
I wonder. Maybe the problem is that you're the only one I want to be with? Because I want to spend every possible minute of my life either holding you or simply basking in your presence? Because I love you more than you could ever possibly know? That's what I wanted to say, what my heart was screaming. But my brain simply could not formulate the words I needed so badly. So I had to settle.
"If that's what you want." Coward! Spineless jellyfish! Hurry, you still have time. Take it back!
She was silent and I silently continued to curse myself. "Okay then. I got to go. See you tomorrow."
There was no 'goodnight sweetie' or 'I love you' from her. Just a click and a dial tone. I knew I'd regret that night for the rest of my life.
---
I made it to Rico's and finally saw life again. Teens were chilling, enjoying some sun. Others were sitting at the shack, drinking some fresh smoothies. There was Oliver, sitting at our usual table. He was pretty much devouring his favorite cheese nachos. The goofy sight brought a small smirk to my somber features.
I headed over, but stopped as a tall, shaggy haired blonde boy walked across my line of vision. There was a proud smile glowing on his face. He had maybe 4 girls hanging off of him. Lilly wasn't one of those girls, at least not anymore...
---
I raced to the beach the next morning, wanting to apologize to Lilly. I had messed up majorly. She had to forgive me. I know I'm not the best, and I definitely do not deserve a girl like her, but I can't help that I fumble over my feelings.
There she was, her tan skin shining in the sun. Her blonde hair was pulled back and she was smiling at everyone. She was so beautiful, like a goddess. Such radiance left me with a smile all my own.
She saw me and I could see worry flash in her pale blue orbs, but it was only transient as she caught sight of my toothy smile. Feeling a little more welcomed, I carefully approached her. I had no clue what I was gonna say.
Then he stepped in front of me.
Jake Ryan; commonly known as 'The Chick Magnet'.
Why was he there? And more importantly, why was he looking at Lilly like that?
Her eyes were glossy and wide as she stared up at his Adonis like face. Since he had moved to our school 4 years ago, Lilly had always swooned over him; completely infatuated by his unbelievable(very unbelievable) charm. I swallowed. Nothing good was going to come from this.
"Hey Lilly," he said all suave-like.
I groaned at it and stepped beside him. "Hey Lils... Jake," I said bitterly, only acknowledging him for a short second. He raised an eyebrow at me and my sudden appearance. Then he drew his attention back to Lilly.
"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Beach Party with me."
My eyes widened. "What?!"
"Yes!" she eagerly agreed with a smile that could light up the darkness. Pain ripped through my chest.
"Huh..?!" He nodded and walked away, leaving me to stare blankly at my beaming... ex-girlfriend? I didn't even know..
The rest of the day was spent with us acting like best friends again. It was something I both missed and did not miss. Thankfully she never brought up Jake. Or the dance for that matter. I think she understood me well enough to know it would upset me. I took it as the one reminder that she still cared about me.
-
The night of the dance came quickly over the next 2 weeks. Lilly had been slowly attaching herself to Jake at every minute of the day possible, leaving me alone. They were like a tumor or something. I had to shake my head when thinking about it. When she meant seeing other people, she really meant it. And wasted no time whatsoever.
I knew her better than anyone. Even better than Oliver knew her. So of course I knew what was on her mind, what made her attach herself to Jake rather than dealing with me and my stupid, idiotic self. She craved confidence. I lacked it and Jake radiated it. He was like the sun of confidence. It was hard to shine next to that.
But I needed her back. I made up my mind one night. I wanted to get her back. I was ready to show her what I was made of.
So I went to that party.
Lights shone down on the dancers as music blared over the speakers. Needless to say, she was dancing with him.
She was dressed in simple pants and a string top while he was also in khakis and a polo shirt. I, on the other hand, was certainly not dressed casual. My goal that night was to make a statement.
I had dug through all my drawers to find my most sexy halter top. It was the one she bought me for my birthday. It was red and completely iridescent when the light hit it. To compliment it, I pulled on a skirt; short and denim, with the fringe along the hem. I never wore skirts. Maybe short-shorts, but skirts were always her thing. Not mine. She had laughed at me once, telling me I didn't have nerve to wear them. I hope she was ready to be proven wrong.
After sucking in a good breath of air, I marched over to the couple. With a powerful yank, I pulled Jake away from her side. This left them both looking utterly confused.
I caught Lilly's attention falling on my body, her eyes betraying the surprise I knew she was harboring. Come on Lilly. I know you still want me. Just please, see how much I want you!
She blinked and snapped her head up with a ferocious glare. "What are you doing?!" She seemed to read my unvoiced thoughts. "He's my date! Not you!" she shouted over the music, taking Jake's arm and pulling him back to her.
That stung, but Jake's proud smirk made my blood boil with jealousy. "Yeah, well you asked me first!"
She stared at me with an incredulous face. "You said 'No' three times! Forgive me for thinking that meant 'No'!"
I growled, irritation finally getting to me. This was not how I had planned this little interception to play out. "Well then you're forgiven."
She shook her head at me and walked away. Jake bounded after her, dodging people in the massive crowd.
Okay. So maybe that approach wasn't the smartest. Or the most successful. Feeling embarrassed by the huge amount of stares I was getting, I decided to do what I was best at.
I gave in and left the party in silence.
---
"Hey," Oliver greeted me.
I plopped down onto the wooden seat to his left. "Yo," I said distantly. He noticed right away.
"You're thinking again." He took a large bite of his nachos. "You should stop until you're good at it." That made me smack his arm lightly, but it also brought a smile to my serious face.
"Where's Lilly?" I found myself almost unconsciously wondering.
He smirked. "Jeeze, Miles. I thought you were over the whole 'she loves me, she loves me not' thing. I don't want to get in trouble for that again."
"Oh shut up about that already." So what if I'd gone through a short stage which resulted in such an act? Plucking every other petal off a few flowers just to see if Lilly'd ever find it in herself to love me again. After a long while, I realized she still wasn't loving me. Plus I didn't see why he had made it a big deal. His mom's flower garden would grow back eventually...
"She's out with Matt." He swallowed a mouthful of chips. "Texted me a few minutes ago that she'll be here in an hour for surfing." Oliver continued on about how nice the waves were that day. That was of no interest to me, so I delved back into my own thoughts.
Ah Matt...
Matt Matt Matt. Boyfriend #3. Yeap, I said it. Number 3.
Jake, Lucas and Matt were the guys(that I know of) that she had been with. All over the course of three months, with barely any breaks in between them. I had suspicions about Oliver being one choice, but he assured me there was nothing there. I kept a careful watch, just incase. I could somehow stomach the idea of other guys, but Oliver would completely destroy my last thread of sanity.
Jake had gotten tired of Lilly, as I predicted, and cast her aside. He treated her as if she was just another girl, a tissue he could dispose of when he no longer needed her. It hurt her. He was an infatuation of hers for years. That night me and Lilly had spent watching 'Sweet Home Alabama' and 'White Chicks' while eating maybe 3 pints of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream. (Ben and Jerry were the only guys I didn't mind Lilly spending the night with.)
Lucas was an ass. I remembered it from the moment I saw him ask her out. 'To be his girlfriend'. I couldn't believe it. I voiced that comment too, but Lilly didn't hear. One day, I found him blatantly cheating on her. Then that ass had the nerve to try and sabotage mine and Lilly's friendship. I was so scared because we were already at a fragile point. In the end, she figured it out. The night she caught him in the act, she had spent crying in my arms. She never loved him, but she still gave him everything he wanted.
I knew what it was like because I could never forget those nights we spent together. They were a like a dream to me now. And though it chilled me to the bone, I couldn't help but continuously wonder if she enjoyed him more than me; if he could make her scream as I had done.. This question never left the confines of my mind. I was afraid of the answer.
Now there was Matt. Mister Matt Marshall, skateboarding and all-around athletic master. Tall,
light brown hair and dark brown eyes. He had everything I didn't. He was everything I wasn't. And he had lasted. Summer was nearing its end, yet he had lasted. Maybe he wasn't just another summer boy. Maybe he was the one..
Oliver put his hand on mine and I looked into his dark, chocolate eyes. I gave him a half smile and accepted his silent sympathy. Oliver made every unbearable moment of mine comfortable and I could never thank him enough for it.
"Hey!" came that voice I loved more than anything. Lilly approached us. She was walking real slow, tossing a smile over her shoulder to a few people who waved to her. Exuding confidence. That was my... our Lilly. She took her seat across from me. We were back to the 3 Musketeers. I had to force myself to not notice that beaming grin on her face. I knew her eyes were aglow, even though they were hidden beneath her sunglasses. I wish I had created that smile. I wanted her to smile because of me. Only me.
No. Stop it Miley. Summer was almost over. And she was happy. Pure happiness was something I couldn't bring her. I had to accept it. We were done. I couldn't look back anymore.
-
A few evenings later, we were driving home very late from a Hannah concert. Lola didn't go. She'd be going less and less. I actually couldn't remember the exact last time she came. It was nice. Well, it was really more of a distraction, but it still let me relax.
I had been playing my guitar a lot more recently, writing songs of my lost love and wallowing in my depression all summer. The fans enjoyed the new songs at least. A little deeper/moody Hannah was appreciated. But the classics were still preferred.
It was a relief to sing "Nobody's Perfect" since well, I obviously wasn't. But it was practically protocol to sing "One in a Million". It was the fans' favorite. They'd never know how much it stung me to sing it. At every show, I sang it for Lilly, wishing for her heart to hear it.
The entire car ride home was silent. Jackson was snoring in the front passenger seat and my dad assumed I was asleep in the back. My head leaned against the cool glass window. I simply stared blankly ahead. With my Hannah distraction gone, I was back to being the usual hopelessly lost Miley. Thoughts left my mind foggy.
Summer was almost gone forever. 2 days and September would have consumed the time completely. I don't know why I was so hung up on the idea of summer ending by September. Maybe because school started the 2nd and I'd have to face Lilly and Matt everyday, putting up that damn happy facade.
I had wasted all summer watching Lilly date sporadically and what did I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing! I was jealous, angry, hurt, lost but most of all I was stupid! Stupid for giving up..
Sitting there, deep in thought, a memory echoed in my head. My Aunt Dolly, one of the smartest women I have ever known, told me once, "I know one thing. If you take yourself out of the game, there is no way on this Earth you're gonna win". That was exactly what I did. Out of fear I had quit the game and out of pride, never got back in.
Aunt Dolly lived out in Tennessee and I wished with all my heart that she was here to tell me how to handle this situation. Hah. Her expression probably would be shocked if I told her the exact situation since she gave me that advice for a boy years ago. But the main point was she wasn't here. I had to continue to go it alone.
The engine stopped it's hypnotic hum as we parked in the driveway. I was first out of the car as dad proceeded to wake the sleeping log a.k.a. my brother.
My sneaker clad foot gently kicked a pebble off the slate path before me. It bounced into the mulch of the garden.
As I approached the front deck, my ears picked up something. In the silence of the night, something was out of place. What was that sound? It sounded like... like sobbing? Why would there be..
My pace quickened as I hurriedly stepped around our largest bush into the clearing near the front door.
I stopped short, looking at my occupied porch.
With blonde hair, shining even in the moonlight, the familiar body of my best friend was curled into our cushioned, wicker chair. She was hugging her pink sweater close to her shoulders. Sensing my presence, she drew her tearful eyes up to my own.
I didn't have to ask. Her distress was so heartbreaking.
I went over and wrapped my arms around her shoulders and helped her stand. We went inside and to my room so my family would not ask questions. Not that this was a rare occurrence, but I knew Lilly would be happier to have privacy.
For a long time, she vented about how Boyfriend #3 broke her heart. Such a bastard. Apparently he told her, flat out, in front of his friends even, that she was plain out weird. He'd made her upset before, and I told her to get him back. Not Lilly, though. She was too pure hearted. It sickened me to think someone could ever ever hurt a girl like her.
It sickened me more knowing I had done it before too..
I pulled her closer to me as I cradled her in my arms. My shoulder was damp from her tears and I could feel it through my sweatshirt. Nevertheless I welcomed it. Her sobs had stopped and her sniffling lessened. I could tell she was worn to the brink of sleep, and soon, as always, she'd be out like a light.
This time was different. She surprised me.
She sat forward, a little bit out of my arms, and turned to look right at me. Her ice blue eyes were red and puffy. A bleary gloss covered them. Dark mascara painted numerous streaks down her rosy, wet cheeks. Her hair was tussled. Some pieces stuck to her ever quivering and chapped lips. And still she was stunning.
With tender fingers, I brushed those loose strands of hair away from her porcelain face and tucked them behind her ear. I smiled lovingly at her. I obviously couldn't see this smile myself, but I really hope she could read the sincerity in it.
Her face had grown serious in wonder. "Miley." Her voice cracked in its fragile state. "Why.. Why do you always stay?"
My response was simple and I knew it was exactly what she wanted to hear, above all else. "Because I love you."
Hah. Yeah right. Like I'd actually have the courage to say what I should say.
Her expression following my actual statement made me want to curl up in the corner and die a miserably painful death. "Because I care about you."
She stared at me with dull, tired eyes. Not just tired from today, but as if they had been plagued for months. Then she forced the most phoney smile in history. With a nod she extracted herself from my hold and tucked herself into the covers of my bed.
The light was already out and after an hour and a half, we both should have been asleep. Her snores were soft, with the occasional sniffle. A reminder of her grief that night.
Unfortunately I was not so lucky to fall into dreamland. Unable to rest, I got up and silently moved out onto my deck. Once there, I stared out over the ocean. The night felt eerie, it being the witching hour and all. The water was black, this darkness created by rolling clouds covering the twinkling stars. My thoughts were far from the sight before me. I stuck my tongue against my inner cheek and visibly frowned.
How could I still be running from how I felt? I know she knows how I feel. Why couldn't her interpretation be enough? Stupid question. I know the answer.
She was right. She was so right. She was so absolutely completely freakin' right! Unless I could be open with her, we'd not be 'real'. And here I thought lovers could understand each other without saying any words. I thought I knew what love was..
Hah. What did I know? All those happy days.. Our pet names.. Secretly holding hands under the table, at school and at home... All those amazing kisses that burned all over my skin even in memory...
I sighed heavily whilst continuing to stare into the night. Those days are gone forever. I should just let them go...
Suddenly the ocean began to come alive before my blue eyes. It started to shine, to slowly glimmer. I could see the rising and falling tide. The moon cast light upon the darkness. I blinked.
Once.
Twice.
And something clicked.
It was so simple. I could see those passionate curls, splashing with the pure intensity of the majestic sea. All of that beauty was hidden in the cover of night... It had never disappeared and it had never died. When it embraced the light, the water had everything. It was spectacular. All it needed was light.
..All I needed was light. I knew my own ocean was there and that it was great, but without light it was never at it's most beautiful. What is my light?
"Miley?" I heard the squeaky, timid voice of my guest behind me. I turned around to look at her.
Clad in my yellow PJ top and striped shorts, she stood sleepily in front of me. The blue blanket draped over her toned shoulders. My eyes were fixated. Her blonde hair, that always shone in the sun, was iridescent under the moon. Her eyes twinkled with such an intensity that I felt warmth flood me even in the chilly night air.
She shifted uncomfortably. "What are you doing out here?"
My blue eyes blinked for the first time since I first cast them upon her. "I-I couldn't sleep. A lot on the mind, ya know? Sorry if I woke ya." Dang flabbit. My accent always got stronger when I dropped my guard, which wasn't uncommon around Lilly. She gave a weak smile, whether out of pity or weariness I'd never know.
Her vision fell to the wooden floor. "Look, I'm sorry about before.."
"It's okay-"
"No. I meant before.. this. This whole summer." Her eyes stayed downcast. "I'm sorry for pressuring you about, well you know..." She looked up, finally, with an uncanny calm in her eyes. "Don't worry though. I understand where we stand and-"
"-Lilly, it's okay.. I mean, no. No. Actually it's not okay." She seemed confused and hurt passed over her crystal eyes. "I mean.. I forgive you, but.." My hands were going wild with hand gestures as I fought for control of my thoughts. "I-I have to tell you something."
Wait. I actually said that? Wow. So this was really it. Could I do it? Was I ready to take the plunge and embrace all I really felt? It'd change everything that we've grown to know, everything we've been through up until now.
My mouth worked on its own. "I'm through pretending that I don't like you when the truth is.." Don't freeze here, Miley. You can't keep running away. You want to say it. But ss it worth it?
I looked into those large, curious pools of icey blue.
She was worth it.
And, by a whisper in the night, I said it.
"I'm in love with you."Yes. This time I actually said it. And nothing felt more right than saying it. Though quiet, that had to be the most sincere thing I had said all summer. But it wasn't over.
She looked absolutely stunned, never expecting me to ever confess such a deep emotion. I couldn't read past that shock. What was going through that brain of hers? Was this a good or bad surprise? I needed her response.
So I waited.
Oh Lord I waited. I waited for what seemed forever. I just wanted nothing more than to hear that melodious voice say the same thing. To tell me that she still felt for me. To say that the summer was behind us. To say that she never stopped loving me just like I had.
But she didn't say a word.
-
A.N.: Sooo yeah. there's a pointless epilogue though. i put it in the video, so i hafta put it up in story form too I guess... lol
but yeah, check out the video too :)