Sam and Freddie were nearly an hour late, and Carly Shay was not happy. She sulked in a beanbag chair, silently planning the tongue-lashing she would give them the minute they arrived. Gibby, meanwhile, leaned against a table and whistled "Shenandoah" softly.
Suddenly he said, "You wanna get together?"
"W-what?" Carly spluttered.
"Get together. Date. Be a couple. All that jazz."
"That's nuts, Gib! We have nothing whatsoever in common!"
"Oh, really? Consider this: we're both carbon-based life forms…"
"True."
"We both rely on oxygen-based respiration to survive…"
"Yep, no photosynthesis for us!"
"And we're both bipedal primates with little body hair and large cranial capacity relative to other apes!"
Gibby's ironclad logic left Carly momentarily speechless. What riposte could she possibly make? "But…um…but how could we make a relationship last? I've never shown the slightest interest in you, we don't share any personality traits, and our romantic chemistry is nonexistent! I'd say that we're like brother and sister, except that normal brother-sister interactions are less awkward than ours!"
"Oh, come on, Carly. What other choice do we have? Even if Sam and Freddie break up, everybody ships them now, so they're off the table. And every love interest you've ever had, actual or potential, has lasted two episodes max!"
"What about your girlfriend Tasha?"
"I'm pretty sure she's been abducted by aliens."
"Oh."
They stared at each other, neither speaking.
Gibby broke the silence. "So, shall we make out now?"
"Sure, what the heck."
And so began a shared passion that burned with the heat of a thousand suns.