Sorry Love Daddy
Sam/Grace songfic, hope you like.
It
seems like only yesterday
I held you in my arms and said
You
will never need to fear the dark
The day you were born, I held you close.
I told you that there was nothing you ever had to be scared of, that I would be there for you through everything, here to protect you through everything.
It was quite a while ago though, 2 and a bit years, but my memory is so vivid it seems like it was only yesterday it all happened.
You were born so early, in such traumatic circumstances, and you were so tiny, I was so happy you lived.
I made my promises to you, promises I intended to keep forever.
But
unforeseen misery has come
Between your Mummy and me
Things have happened, and most of them have been my fault.
I should've told your mum how I feel, but I didn't, and she pushed me away because of that.
I acted like a teenager, had lots of flings and ignored your mum's feelings.
Then I got cancer, then our joint hospital stay.
I really thought that your mum had forgiven me then, and she was softer afterwards, but I could still sense the hate and see it in her eyes.
And I went to America to look after your brother, to make sure he was ok, and I left you both behind.
See? Most of the stuff was my fault.
And
we can love you more, now we are apart
Me
and your mum are always fighting, we never stopped to consider how we
were hurting you.
Every 60 seconds we were arguing, you lost a minute of our love, care and affection.
Daddy,
he's got to go away
Coz there's just no other way
To live this
through
I can't leave Keiron on his own.
You've got your mum, he has no one anymore.
He has this amazing gift, I had to nurture it.
So I had to go to America, but you know I'll visit.
Someday,
you'll learn to understand
This wasn't what I planned, for me and
you
Sorry, love Daddy
This was the
last thing I wanted to do, but I had no choice.
Maybe one day you'll understand it.
I wanted to be there, but things just stood in the way.
Everyday
is filled with pain
But never feel that you're to blame
Every day, my heart aches for you and your mum.
My heart wishes that we could all be together.
But please don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault.
If anyone's it was mine.
Sometimes
life breaks, in mysterious ways
Life has this funny way of changing your plans.
It can screw them up or make them better.
In this case, my plans for our lives have failed miserably.
I
can't make it up to you
Believe me I am trying to
There's no way I can make it up to you, I know that.
But it won't stop me from trying.
I'll probably miss some of the key events in your life.
But I will always try my hardest to be there.
No
matter what you'll always be my baby
Even though I'm on the other side of the world, I'm still your dad.
Even though we don't see each other very often, you'll always be my baby girl.
Maybe one day I'll come back, and maybe you'll be able to forgive me.
I'm sorry, love daddy
x
