(WARNING: Sexual stuff throughout. I warned you all. If you don't like smut, I'll show you the part where the scene starts. And here features my version of psychotic Sneaky, hehe. If Flippy gets his own traumatic episode, SO WILL HIS BUDDY! Features: lemon, stubborn Petunia, language and stuff)

cerulean, viridian

Some sort of sequel to Linzer torte, during their friendship bond
Gift for SS. Journalizm :3 Hope you like it~ I hope I took after you! xDD
Also, this is the result story from the poll on my profile~
For those 6 votes on that choice, I thank you all.

"... the brandeis shine on the water's simply beautiful. Don't you think?"
"It's just like your hair: simply beautiful, though in more ways than one."

Giggles set down the milk carton and box of crackers on the counter. "What? You mean you've never seen him wandering around at night?" She asked in bewilderment, staring at Petunia as though her friend had five heads instead of one.

"I don't get what you're saying. Who would walk out late at night?" Petunia pulled a confused face, resting her chin on Giggles' shoulder. Giggles only shrugged and took out a few wads from her wallet.

She pouted, "It's Sneaky. He's been going out since last month. And I don't really mean 'going out' like to an event or something. It's like he's wandering out of town. I noticed this when I was walking home from the library after work. The midnight shifts kept me going, and the more I see him, the more I grew suspicious. I tried calling him, but he doesn't seem to give a care.

"What a meanie!" Petunia forced a wry smile as she listened to the pinkette's complaints.

"Maybe he's going somewhere important."

"Right. Like where, I ask you?"

"I don't know! Maybe he's out for a night jog or... something. Whatever it is, at least he knows what he's doing," Petunia rolled her eyes. Giggles took the bag of groceries from the cashier and turned to her.

"Well, since you're his friend, why don't you try to call him?"

"What?" Petunia blinked, "Are you for real? I want to get home!"

"But your house's near to Ellis Street, isn't it? You can just drop by for a second and find out what he's doing! Besides, you told me you went here because you're tireless and—"

"The reason I was here is because I was hungry. And now I want to get back to my house as soon as possible!"

"La la la la, not hearing ya~" Giggles covered her ears, mockingly cowering away from Petunia as she skipped to the automatic doors. Precisely, she bumped into someone as well. Giggles almost coughed when she tasted dandruff in her mouth.

"Um... Petunia?" Flaky asked meekly, clutching a newspaper roll in her hand. Petunia found the red-haired girl approaching her, "Flippy wanted me to ask you something."

Petunia flashed a smile at her friend and waved her hand, putting her groceries on the counter, "Sure thing! Anything you'd like to ask, Flaky?"

Flaky cleared her throat and mumbled, "It's about Sneaky..."

Giggles heard this and threw an arm around the red-haired girl's shoulder, "Ah, Sneaky eh? He's been going out at night mysteriously, huh? Flippy's worried for his friend, huh? Is that it?"

"Um... It's true, Flippy's kinda happy that he's away but... he's also worried—"

"Don't worry, Flaky!" Giggles dug her knuckles into Flaky's temples, making the red-haired girl yelp and whimper, "Petunia will take care of it! She'll find Sneaky and bring him home all by herself!"

Petunia widened her eyes and glared at Giggles, steam pouring out from her ears. "What do you mean 'bring him home all by herself'! I can't possibly—"

Then, Flaky looked at her.

No, looked at her. With those eyes.

She had no other choice.

"Why must I find him? He could be at a bar or something!" The blue-haired woman growled, her lips in a straight line, her cheeks red with fury. She had been lingering at Ellis street for almost an hour, and she wondered if he happened to disappear in thin air. She leaned against a lamp post and cursed, "Fuck that soldier! He expects me to bring his friend home; what a snob!"

Of course, she didn't mean to say it. She needed to vent her emotions, and since there was nobody — or at least there wasn't, because the street resembled a ghost town — around, she had to swear. It was only until then did she decided to go home regardless of her promise to Flaky.

"I'll just tell her I didn't see him," She sighed. She picked up the bag of groceries she had previously thrown onto the floor when trying to calm herself down, and turned to make her way home.

However, she finally heard footsteps. Wondering if it was Sneaky, Petunia turned around in both tiredness and anticipation. She saw a familiar tall figure strolling, crossing the road quite calmly.

"Sneaky?" Petunia noticed the soldier walking alone at the stroke of midnight. The town was bathed in darkness, though the street lights played their part in brightening the sombre atmosphere. She saw him walking casually in his regular turtleneck and camouflage pants, but he didn't seem as though he had a sense of direction. He was simply walking straight, across the road and through alleys, completely oblivious of the spooky gushes of wind and screeches of crows that visited the night. Petunia was almost scared to wander around at night, but she was glad to see the assassin outside. Even if she was annoyed that she had spent almost a whole hour trying to wait for him. She ran over to him, waving a hand in an attempt to catch his eye, "Sneaky! Over here!"

After yelling several times, the assassin finally noticed her. "Petunia, what are you doing this late?" He asked, turning to face the blue-haired damsel who was trying to catch her breath.

"I was just about to ask you!" Petunia panted, waving her grocery bag in front of him, "Just thought I'd buy some snacks. I couldn't sleep at all."

"Neither could I. I was just heading to the forest," Sneaky looked in the distance, and pointed to the cluster of trees that was just across the street. Petunia raised a blue eyebrow. Now why would he go to the forest, she wondered. He was also carrying a black suitcase in his hand, and the regular headgear on his head. Flippy was always complaining why his friend wouldn't take off that damn thing since he wasn't in war anymore. Sneaky didn't bother anyway. He flashed a small smile at the tiresome Petunia and asked, "Got time to come? I want to show you something."

Petunia frowned, "What, like at twelve in the morning?"

The soldier only shrugged, "You said you couldn't sleep. Besides, I'd thought I'd show you one of my hobbies."

"And I'm ordered to bring you back home. Besides, Flippy's worried about you-"

"Who cares about Flippy!" Sneaky grumbled, and muttered silently to himself, "He gets to have Flaky in his room anyway—"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," Sneaky sighed, and looked at Petunia, "Well, if you're gonna take me home, then you'll have to wait until I feel like going home."

Her jaw dropped at that point. "What? You expect me to follow you?"

"It's not compulsory," Sneaky shrugged his shoulders off again.

Petunia really wanted to ditch him, but she then remembered Flaky's face. It was pleading, ad she couldn't let her friend down. She stared at Sneaky for a bit, promising herself she would punch him in the face when given the chance.

She pouted at him, and sighed, "Fine, I'll come. It better make me sleepy or I'm out of here."

"But you wouldn't get home if you're fast asleep," Sneaky chuckled. Ignoring him, she tagged along, walking close behind him as he made his way through the forest. Petunia could hear the rustle of green leaves and the hoots of owls. It made her gulp, but it never had any impact on Sneaky. He had experience in war, after all. He was used to all these kind of disturbances in the wild. She almost cursed herself when he heard her yelp. He looked behind to find her suede boot entangled in sharp thorn-like roots. "Who the heck puts these roots here, anyway?" Petunia groaned in lament.

Sneaky brandished his combat knife and rolled his eyes, "Don't move your leg."

He slashed at the roots, cutting them instantly before Petunia could shake off the remains. She brushed the blue hair from her eyes and nodded, "Thanks. It's a good thing I'm wearing my old boots. If I were to be wearing my new zip-ups, I'd be pissed!"

"I bet you would," Sneaky agreed, somehow, and continued to lead the way.

Petunia wondered if the journey took forever. The more they went deeper into the forest, the darker and more eerie it appeared. She checked for more roots and branches along the way, both hesitant and scared. Yet, she trusted Sneaky to be her tour guide. He had only been in Happy Tree Valley for almost half a year and he was getting used to the packed wilderness outside town. He said he was glad the forest wasn't so damn dense, but Petunia saw no difference. In the end, she wanted to pass out. Her arms protecting her groceries grew flaccid and her legs went limp.

The soldier noticed her fatigue and laughed, "We're almost there.

"Close your eyes," He added, looking back at her with a fox's smile on his face. Petunia was shocked.

"Close my eyes? Are you aware of the sharp things laying around on the ground?" She stared at him agape but he simply nodded. "It won't be that hard nor dangerous; don't worry. Feel free to tear my arm off if it doesn't work."

"I might as well tear it off now," Petunia muttered, pushing the plastic bag up her arm and clasping her hands over Sneaky's extended one. She shut her eyes tightly and began to tip-toe on the ground in case some creepy-crawlie would sneak up on her legs. Sneaky's eyes searched for the way, and they brightened when he saw a light from a distance. From his position, he was sure it was there. He decided to make a move for it, not forgetting to go slow because Petunia was with him.

"Why do I have a feeling I'm gonna trip?" Petunia asked, sarcasm marking her voice.

"Say that again and I'll leave you here."

"You can't be—!"

"Shoosh, will you?"

"Grr," Petunia snarled silently, her eyes still closed. She was going to stagger and stumble any moment now. Thankfully, her impatience ceased when Sneaky finally stopped at a spot. It didn't feel dense anymore, but more calm and peaceful. The sound of rustling leaves and branches faded off and she could hear the crunch of grass as they walked nearer to the source of the serenity.

Sneaky looked around for a moment before declaring, "You can open your eyes now."

Petunia opened an eye slowly, to see if he was doping her at first. However, she fluttered both open when he stepped aside.

She saw a beautiful spectacle: she was standing near a huge lake that was sparkling with tiny diamonds on the water's surface. It looked more like a frozen lake to her, but the movement and ripples of water convinced her that it was indeed a lake. It stretched so wide that it took up a football field, and the cool wintry-like breeze sang a Siren's song, gently caressing her cheek.

Petunia was astonished by this; it was so beautiful and enchanting that it must have come out from Pollicina. She took in the breathtaking view and ran ahead of Sneaky, spinning around with arms spread out wide.

"This is spectacular!" She breathed, admiring the collections of constellations scattered all over the black sky. The moon watched from above, drifting lazily as streaks of translucent cloud draped like a dress.

She inhaled the fresh air, "I've never seen this place before! It's amazing!"

"Look what I told you? It's most beautiful at night. It's still and silent, with no noise at all, but what you see is what you get, after all," Sneaky said proudly, catching up behind Petunia who was dancing a pas de deux with herself in the grassy land. Her flowing brown skirt wavered as her tied-back ponytail bounced about in the air. She soon stopped when Sneaky moved past her, strolling to the edge of the gargantuan lake.

The blue-haired woman followed after, bending down beside him as the soldier opened up his briefcase. He took out a pair of black gloves and slipped his bare hands into them.

At this, Petunia asked, "What are you doing anyway?"

"Preparing for my hobby," He pointed at the lake, before taking off his headgear. He kicked off his boots and socks, before putting his gloved hands on the hem of his sweater.

Petunia then realized what he was going to do. "W-W-Wait a minute! What are you trying to—"

Her eyes were enlarged when the soldier threw the turtleneck off his shoulders, throwing it at his briefcase. He then looked behind to face Petunia with a tilted head.

"What's wrong?" He asked, upon seeing Petunia's dark crimson face. She staggered away from him in stupefaction. He couldn't see much of the red color on her face, but Petunia was staring at his lightly toned chest. She brought her hands to her face and covered her eyes, though that stupid little gap still allowed her to see it all. Please, put something on! She was screaming in her mind, but her speechlessness got her nowhere.

Her sudden fascination for his workout only said, "N-Nothing at all."

However, she then found something different about him. She could have sworn something swirled in his golden eyes.

It was as though something dark, like a black streak, circling around in the iris of both his eyes. It flickered continuously, but when Petunia came closer to investigate, he put his hands on his camouflage pants.

Petunia screamed, "No, no NO NO! Leave it on! Leave it on!"

Too late. Petunia had to spin around so that she wouldn't face him. Nevertheless, Sneaky noticed her discomfiture and laughed, "I'm just joking. These pants are waterproof."

She wanted to punch his face so badly, but she then saw the black swirl swimming around in his irises. A dark orange color bordered the black streak, and the streak poked the pupils of his eyes. It created a threatening look in his eyes, though his face appeared solemn as though possessed. Petunia immediately felt a tinge of worry.

Her hand reached out to him, "Sneaky...?"

Suddenly, she saw a splash of water hurdling towards her face. Petunia stumbled, stunned when the cold water smacked her on her face. She was even more outraged when the water dripped onto her favorite blue vest.

"That idiot!" Petunia almost shouted, "That thing is in his eyes concern me, and all I get is this!"

She marched towards the edge of the lake and yelled, seeing Sneaky disappear into the depths of the blue water body, "SNEAKY! COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

He didn't listen to her. Petunia, not seeing him anymore, sat down on the wet grass and sighed in loud frustration. She took off her boots and set them beside his briefcase. She kicked her legs in the water, feeling the odd warmth of it embrace her feet. It was soothing, and she soon felt contented.

"What was that in his eyes... It's like Flippy's, but..." It was different. Petunia fell on her back, untying her hair and taking off the flower piece from her ear. She spread her arms wide and closed her eyes to think.

Could Sneaky have had one of his PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) episodes? Petunia smiled weakly, knowing that he was a soldier. Like Flippy, she believed he was a war veteran. It wasn't surprising to know that he had a medical condition. However, she was afraid if he turned psycho.

A splashing sound from the lake made Petunia sit up. She saw a dark figure rising to the surface, and indeed did Sneaky emerge from the surface. His hand ran through his hair as he shook his head vigorously to rid of the water. Petunia only watched as he swam back to her, fast and quick like a shark. She snatched her legs back on instinct when he reached her.

"Had fun down there?" She sneered at him, pointing at her clothes, "You're so lucky they're not drenched."

"Oh yeah, I forgot," Sneaky said nonchalantly, before sweeping his left hand at her. A large amount of water scooped up by his hand splashed onto the girl's clothes, making her scream in surprise.

"You'll pay for this!" Petunia's fist came hurdling towards his face, but she winced when his hand caught hers just in time. Petunia cursed, "Darn it."

He laughed bitterly, "Don't try that on me. It isn't going to work."

"You knew that was going to happen."

"Lucky I did. Anyhow, I got something I wanted to show you," Sneaky dug his hand into his pocket, not letting go of Petunia's fist. He then took something out, and Petunia leaned in to squint.

She only saw a dark shade of blue. "Here," He said, prying her fist open and placing something in it. He then closed her fingers, the small grin on his face still evident.

Petunia took her hand back, and took a peek in her fist. She then opened her hand and gasped when she found a small rock.

It was no ordinary rock. It gave out a magnificent blue hue, and it was shaped like a hexagram, taking the size of her palm. It was slightly heavy, but a smile crept up on her face. It reflected the moon's shine, just like the lake water.

In an admiring voice, Petunia smiled at the soldier, "Sneaky, this is..."

"It's a Lapis Lazuli," Sneaky answered for her, "It's down at the bottom of the lake, where these remarkable fishes cast cocoons around the rocks to form the solid precise shape."

"It's so pretty," Petunia turned the Lapis around, seeing thousands of her reflections on it.

"I want you to have it," Sneaky said, and Petunia widened her eyes at him. She protested, "But, are you sure? This thing's priceless and-"

"I went through hell to get that," He honestly lamented, showing his arm that was filled with small bites. Petunia cringed. He scratched his head, "Besides... It kinda suits your hair anyway. It's very beautiful."

A blush formed on her cheeks, and Petunia brought the gem close to her chest. She closely gazed at it with a small smile, running her fingers along the smooth surface of it. Small churns of diamond dust blew into the air, and she mumbled, "Thank you."

"Make sure you treasure it. I'll be pissed if it's broken."

Sneaky smiled at her, but his smile soon faltered the more he looked at her. The black swirl in his eyes seeped into his pupil, but small pigments of fading black circled around the dark circle. The orange border still flickered about, taking over his golden irises. He felt something leap in his chest, and his fists clench. An unknown desire built up inside of him.

"Hey... Petunia?"

"Hmm?" She looked up, as Sneaky gazed into the blue lake. His bangs covered his eyes so she couldn't see them. She wondered if she was hearing things instead. However, the assassin spoke silently, "What do you think of the lake?"

"What I think?" He nodded. "Well... When the moon shines on the lake, the surface sparkles and shimmers. It's like as though large clusters of diamonds are collected, and the zephyr color of the water is enchanting.

"Overall... the brandeis shine on the water's simply beautiful. Don't you think?"

He brushed his wet bangs from his face, closing his eyes as he tilted his head down, "I agree. It's wonderful to witness a beauty that is kept a secret."

The blue-haired girl then noticed a smaller difference in the distance between them. She felt his shoulder bump hers as he leaned towards her, "It's just like your hair: simply beautiful, though in more ways than one."

(HERE IT STARTS. KINDA.)

She could see his eyes up close. His golden eyes darkened, and his black pupils appeared as though they were shadowed suns firing violent clouds of gas. They were staring into her soul, making her swallow. The blush on her cheeks was more evident when she realized his face was dangerously close to hers. Her lips pursed and she tried her best not to blink.

Suddenly, in a split second, she found herself on the grass. He pinned her to the ground, tightening his left hand on her right forearm. He bent down, putting his right elbow beside her head, as his other hand trailed down her arm to her hand. Petunia shivered at the foreign touch, causing her hand to let go of the gem. It was carried by the small tides, drifting slowly into the water. However, she didn't notice this.

"Do you know... how it feels like to have something all to yourself?" Sneaky whispered at her ear, clutching her hand tightly. Petunia's heart pounded in her head so loud she started to breathe loudly. His voice sounded like a ghost, and it was even worse than Flippy's. He smelled her blue hair and chuckled, "I wonder... Do you mind if I have you all to myself?

"Look at you... Your clothes are wet. They're practically useless now," He mused as his eyes glinted in fascination and his tongue flickered at his lips. His hand caressing her hair previously descended her neck to her vest, unbuttoning it and snaking between the buttons of her inner thin white shirt, caressing the smooth bare skin. He snapped the buttons of her shirt, teasing her as he moved his hand up and down her petite side.

Petunia whimpered as she jerked, her legs shifting uneasily, "N-No, don't do that—"

"I thought you wouldn't mind if I had you all to myself," Sneaky said, as though hurt, and rested his lips on her collarbone. "Haah, what a pity. This beautifully crafted body is hidden under these clothes, kept a secret from others.

"But don't worry, I'll make you reveal your secret," Petunia shut her eyes, her body jerking when his hand touches her sensitive spots. She wanted to fight back, but her legs turned to jelly. Her arms were tired and her fingers involuntarily entwine around Sneaky's. His hand stroked her thighs, ascending to the hem of her skirt.

Petunia gasped, and tried to reach for something - anything - with her other hand. She then found out that her hand was empty.

The Lapis Lazuli.

"The gem!" Petunia cried suddenly, startling Sneaky. She struggled away from him, remembering the sentence in her head, I'll be pissed if it's broken.

Sneaky tried to stop her by pulling her sleeves, but Petunia threw her arms out of her wear, in her underwear and skirt before jumping into the water to retrieve her jewel.

"My god, is that bitch for real?" Sneaky muttered, "She's there to get back that piece of shit and now she's almost naked-"

Naked. A little idea popped up in his mind. "... This is about to get interesting," Sneaky chuckled to himself, unzipping his camouflage pants.

Petunia swam in the lukewarm water, seeing something wink at her on the lake floor. She was relieved when she saw the gem stationary on the sand, staring at her with its zephyr color. She grabbed the jewel and held it carefully between her hands, making sure it was the right one she lost. She swam back up to the surface to obtain air, searching around for Sneaky. The soldier was nowhere to be found.

In more relief, she waded to the edge of the lake. She didn't notice a shadow approaching her from underwater. Just as she was about to touch the land, something wrapped around her waist.

"You're very stubborn, aren't you? And this was just going to get fun," Sneaky hissed in her ear, snatching the jewel from her hand, "The Lapis Lazuli's not fragile, unlike you. Don't go out there into the water again."

His warning sounded soft and concerned, but Petunia soon forgot about it when he threw the jewel at the briefcase not far from his position. She then felt his hands on the hem of her skirt again, pulling it down from her waist and hips, "Now then, where were we? Ah, yes."

With the hem of her panties and skirt in his hand, he pulled them down instantly, tearing them from her body and throwing it at the grass. He did the same for the cloth covering her chest, and embraced her, "Look, now we're both equal."

By equal, Petunia's eyes darted to his briefcase. She saw something of a green camouflage color and another of black resting peacefully beside his sweater. Petunia turned her head to face him with the dark liquid in her cheeks, "Sneaky, I don't think we should—"

"You were checking me out before, weren't you?" Petunia froze, her face red. Sneaky continued, "On the first day we met, when you took me in, don't you ever notice me staring at you when you were fumbling to find those flashlights? I could see you in the dark, helpless and in need, frustrated yet cute.

"I was actually just pretending to sleep. I heard your words, and I must say I was flattered by them," Sneaky laughed, but his laugh sounded genuinely normal like his usual self's. Petunia turned her body around and set her hands on his chest, looking down in semi-shame and semi-embarrassment.

Sneaky tilted her face up with his hand, locking an arm around her waist, "Petunia, I know you love me. ... But don't deny your feelings. I'll accept them, but I want to know if you'll accept mine."

She stared into his eyes, those psychotic orangey-golden eyes, and the black fog in his pupils. She could almost see her reflection in them. Her cheeks were hot and her muscles were limp. His eyebrows rose and crinkled in worry, making him cute although his eyes looked menacing. Petunia's hand traveled up his neck to cup his cheek and she smiled, "Sneaky... I..."

"I...?" She almost giggled when she heard his voice, brimming with anticipation.

"I love you," She whispered, planting her lips on his. His lips were soft, but as soon as he felt her touch, something soon got the better of him.

His tongue demanded entrance, and seeped through the small gap in her lips. It made Petunia gasp as he massaged her tongue, moving his hands down to cup her mounds. She moaned uncontrollably because being touched in that place was so new to her. His tongue still distracted her, and as he pulled away from her, she wanted to whine. She pushed her lips against his again, caressing his lower lip before he took over her mouth again.

"Sneak—Ah!" She let out a strangled noise that mixed with contentment and surprise, when he pinched something sensitive. The more he twisted that spot, the more jittery she got. "U-Use... M-Mouth—"

God, she was stuttering. He was already turned on by the minute she stammered. He pulled away to hear her wish, but it seemed rather harsh, "D-Don't use your hands... but your m-mouth, dammit!"

His head went down and he bit the spot harshly, sucking on it hard that a bruise was certain to develop. Petunia's legs throbbed as his nips, pinches and licks sent him into another plain reality. She let out a tiny embarrassed squeak as Sneaky's hand snaked down south, caressing the fleshy skin with little consideration to see her comfort. The blue-haired let out a soft moan of his name, squirming restlessly as he pressed into her. His mouth left her abused chest as his head rose head-level, wanting to hear the countless moans escaping from her mouth. Sneaky almost wanted to laugh as he observed her meager attempts to prevent herself from going over the edge. He pressed against a hard fleshy spot just above her opening, and rubbed it vigorously with his whole hand.

"Nnngh—! Y-You're too fast—" Petunia poured out a litany of sexy moans from her lips, tilting her head to a side as Sneaky feasted on her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck, grabbing a fistful of his green hair as she struggled to maintain her composure under minimal success. He smirked, letting his index and middle finger invade her core. She let out an unbridled gasp, "S-Sneaky!"

"You're so warm inside," Sneaky ran his tongue up her neck, as his fingers explored and twisted. Petunia trembled as his hot slick muscle pressed on her skin, rising higher and higher to her ear lobe, before biting it hungrily. Her breaths became broken and incomplete due to the sensitivity of her neck. Yet, Sneaky repeated this process several times, basically torturing her to hear the delightful responses. He then brushed against a certain spot, and she cried out in pure euphoria. He rubbed the same area more harder and firmly, enjoying her slurps and inadequate inhalations. She tried to grasp for some oxygen, but as he relentlessly pleasured her, she couldn't control herself. When she thought about giving up her body for a man, she thought she would have the upper hand. However, she was now being humiliated by him, abused by him, the domination over her soon felt... so intoxicating. Petunia almost whined when his fingers slipped out, dripping with wetness and stickiness. She was just about to hit home.

"M-More," Petunia breathed heavily, placing her hands on his chest once more. Sneaky pulled away and stuck his fingers in his mouth, sucking them dry. He grinned at her like a Cheshire cat, "You know me. This isn't over yet."

He took hold of her thigh, positioning his member right at her entrance. Petunia opened her legs slightly for him, pulling him closer until her head bumped against his face. She squeaked, causing him to chuckle heartily. "It's alright, Petunia. I'll be slow this time," He whispered, his voice filled with desire.

A second after she heard him, he slid into her slowly and hesitantly, before thrusting himself into her. He was able to go even deeper than his fingers had. Before long, Petunia managed to catch his pace and bucked her hips against his, in hopes of having his member go deeper. Sneaky, for the first time, moaned hard in her shoulder, his tongue snaking out as it teased her. He grabbed her bottom as she latched onto him for support. He was acting as though something had scratched a cat's erogenous spot, causing the animal to lick inevitably. Petunia then felt something brush against a vulnerable spot inside of her. Her hands gripped his shoulders, fearing she might turn into jelly at that moment. Sneaky ignored his tense partner and pulled out, before ramming in again with more force. Back and forth, back and forth, Petunia felt exhausted and lost count of how many times he went in and out of her. She noticed him holding back an uncomfortable expression, and locked her arms around his neck, smoothing his wet hair with a trembling hand.

She locked her ankles around his waist and braced herself. They were both inhaling and exhaling deeply, reaching their peaks, frightened to release. However, as they advanced, Petunia was already reaching her limits. She snapped her head back and let out a wail, an ululation, that echoed through the woods. She felt something pour out from her, and felt tears brimming in her eyes as she contaminated the water with her fluids. Sneaky also came not long after, sucking in his breath before letting out a grunt. He released inside of her, his body going limp and tired that he almost collapsed onto her. Petunia caught him just in time, and they relished the silence apart from their heaving breaths.

After a few minutes, they unhooked from each other. Sneaky guided her back to land and fell face-first on the grass. Petunia, still dazed, reached for his dry pants and boxers (his underwear was somehow wet, and she didn't want to know how it got sticky). She threw them at him to cover his moon, her face marked with amusement and annoyance, "Put something on, will you? It's disgusting to see you naked like that."

"The same goes for you, genius," Sneaky pointed a finger, still face-down, before sitting back up. He put on his clothes, and stopped when he took his black sweater. He then looked at Petunia who was frowning at her shirt and vest. Their buttons were ripped, thanks to Sneaky, and her underwear and skirt were already wet.

Sneaky offered his sweater, "Here."

"What?" Petunia asked out loud, dumbfounded as she reluctantly took the sweater from him. She couldn't help but feel irritated when the assassin stared at her naked figure with a smirk on his face. He lamely explained, "The sweater's hilariously big, so it'll cover you up. I wouldn't want to carry a beautiful naked lady around, so I'd rather go half naked.

"Sorry for ruining your clothes." He sheepishly said, putting the gem back into his briefcase. He would be sure to give it back to her. He watched her slip the sweater on, his smirk still evident as he enjoyed the way she struggled to push her hands out from the sleeves. At the same time, he was stuffing his stuff into his briefcase. Petunia looked away from him, standing up and walking over to get her boots. She threw them on, wondering why he still kept a firm gaze on her. She swore she heard him laugh merrily. She whipped around to find him covering his mouth to suppress even a small giggle. She glared at him with furrowed brows, throwing her clothes at him, "Don't look at me like that!"

"I'm sorry. It's just that you look so cute in that sweater. Like how Flippy comments on Flaky wearing such a big sweater and big boots," Sneaky stuffed her clothes into his briefcase before putting his boots on, tightening the knots as he smiled at Petunia. She didn't say a word and shoved his briefcase into her arms. She wryly smiled at the soldier, "Well, I'm gonna keep this as evidence that I brought you home."

She could see him frown, but he then grinned at her. "Oh yeah, I forgot that you were supposed to bring me home."

He then looked up and down her body, a corner of his lips hitching up, "But you know... wearing that sweater will have Flippy think the wrong idea."

Silence was ensued.

"You're the one who thought up of that idea!" Petunia fumbled, storming away from him immediately. Sneaky followed her, and before she could turn around again, he scooped her up into his arms. Petunia gasped, and she initially wanted to ram her fist into his face. However, as her hands clutched the briefcase and her face touch the firm skin of his chest, she thought otherwise. She only rested her head on his bare chest, listening to the beat of his heart. Sneaky didn't say a word to her, until she realized something.

"Wait a minute," Petunia said out of nowhere.

"What?"

"M-My groceries! I think they're still out there!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. There were some bunnies here when you went nose-dive into the lake. They must have stolen your food."

"What?" Petunia cried, "Bunnies? Why didn't you stop them?"

"I have no intention to harm such small feeble beings. Besides, they're adorable. Might as well not risk ruining an adorable robbery," Sneaky laughed, "Well... I guess that doesn't matter now. What does matter is that you see me home."

Petunia nodded, "Of course. Flippy will definitely be outraged if he doesn't see you home."

"He's such a parent, though I'm three years older than him," He sighed, as he bent to avoid branches in his way. He then moaned, "I don't want to go home."

"You have to, because if you don't, God knows what Flippy would do to you."

"He kicks my ass every time. What do I have to lose?" Sneaky muttered under his breath, skipping out of the trees unscathed. He looked around and was relieved to find nobody on the roads and streets. Looking down at the maiden in his arms, he pleaded, "I really don't want to go home now."

"Drop me at my house then," Petunia boldly replied. "I'm wearing nothing but a sweater, just so you remember."

"Ah, of course. See her home, so that's the game. I accept," He said, dashing across the road and using the streetlights as his guide. He then saw her house, and ran up to the porch. He set her down, opening his briefcase, giving her her wet clothes, still lamenting, "I don't want to go home, still."

Petunia looked up at his face, seeing the hurt expression in his eyes. She realized that they returned to normal, to their brighter golden color. His face still looked childish, making her heart flutter. She put a finger to her lips and pondered for a bit. "Sneaky, if you want..."

At her voice, his ears perked. "If you want... I have a space in my bed to share, if you're willing to come in."

Sneaky blinked continuously, and he almost dropped his briefcase. "Are you serious?" He asked, stupefied. She nodded, a dark color appearing on her cheeks. She reached out and took his hand, guiding him through the front door, "Flippy will understand. Besides, I told you I'd take you home...

"But not your home, of course," She smiled at him, rather seductively, making sure he wouldn't turn to leave. Sneaky never had the intention to do that. He simply smiled at her, raising an eyebrow to match her alluring nature, "We smell horrible though. You mind having two in your bathroom?"

"That, and off to bed," Petunia winked at him. She pulled him in, making sure the door closed behind him.

The next day, Flippy flung his teddy bear at the wall.

"Petunia trembled as his hot slick muscle pressed on her skin-"

It's something I imagine about Petunia and Sneaky. HMM. Fits Sneaky's seductive side well... I think. I was REALLY twisted when I was writing the scene. I imagined it all... ... Yeah. Writing it makes me love this couple more, even if it's a crack random pairing. It's still sweet... kinda. I'm also gonna write an omake of it next time, to show Flippy's pissed-off-attitude at Sneaky.

No, I really felt like writing the omake. xD WHEN AM I GONNA START LSDL AGAIN? I don't know. :D My exam's on Thursday and I'm slacking off. Shit. Wellll, I'll take a break now. I have a water war party to attend next Wednesday.

This is for you, SS.J so I hope you like it! I mean... you write lemon too, don't cha? I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU-

Very short author's note. ONWARDS, FLIQPY AND FLAKY!