July, 2012
Alex Kiriakis shouldered a backpack as he stood up. He extended his arms, grabbing his duffle bag from an overhead compartment. He joined a line of passengers exiting the airplane. As he exited, he looked at the flight attendants wishing him a nice trip to Illinois.
"Not likely," Alex snorted as he grabbed his cell phone, dialing his voicemail.
As he listened to his mother's message, Alex tried not to roll his eyes. He almost forgot how overbearing Anjelica Deveraux could be over the phone.
Three days ago, at the age of twenty-three, Alex graduated from the Royal College of Art in London. His mother was the only one to attend his graduation ceremony. Something she pointed out every opportunity she could. She used it as ammunition to further her agenda.
Anjelica Deveraux knew Alex wanted to move back to the States. Her less than subtle hints indicated she wanted him to move to New York with her. Alex felt tempted but wanted to see his father, Justin Kiriakis, first.
Alex spent the first years of his life with his mother. Conceived during an affair, it took a while for Justin to recognize Alex as his son. During those years, a rivalry formed between Anjelica and Alex's stepmother, Adrienne. Several incidents happened including the misconception that Alex died.
At three-years-old, Alex returned with his father alive and well. Justin and Adrienne were busy during Alex's time away, though. They adopted twin boys and conceived a son of their own.
Alex, in a home full of strangers, didn't adjust well. He wanted his mother and instead got a substitute who had three babies that needed attending. Sticking close to his father, Alex shied away from Adrienne.
Growing up, in Dallas, in Salem, and in Dubai, Alex felt set off from the others. Ostracized in a way, treated differently. His brothers, Vic, Joey, and Sonny, were wanted. Sought after, fought for, whereas Alex was forced upon them.
Alex struggled growing up, defiant at every turn. He couldn't wait to leave home when he graduated from high school, desperate to leave the conservative cloud of Dubai behind. Anything to get away from a stifling culture and a strained home life.
Something Justin and Adrienne didn't appreciate to this day. Their eldest child graduated college and Justin and Adrienne stayed in Salem. It didn't fill Alex with confidence.
But still, he didn't know if he wanted to move to New York. There were several cities he wanted to check out. Besides, it was too close to his mother. Growing up all Alex wanted was for his mother to swoop in and rescue him from his bland existence. Once they reconnected, Alex learned it wasn't quite as mystical as he expected.
Anjelica wasn't cut out for life as a devoted mother. Not that Alex wanted anyone smothering him but a little bit of maternal care would have been nice. But Anjelica treated Alex more as an accessory than a child. But at least she wanted him around.
In the Alex sweepstakes, she was winning.
After customs and gathering his bags, Alex took a shuttle to the nearest car rental.
"Can I help you, sir?" a pretty blonde woman asked when Alex walked to the counter.
Alex, eyes glancing at the form fitting uniform, leaned forward and smiled. "Yes, yes, you can."
Fifteen minutes later, Alex headed for Salem with a new number in his phone and a discount on a rented BMW.
After taking a shower and a quick nap in a hotel, Alex wandered around Salem. Four years ago, Alex lived in Salem. Just for a year but Alex remembered quite a bit. He didn't appreciate moving from Dallas to Salem to Dubai so close to the end of his high school years.
Regardless, Alex knew his way around Salem. While the residents came and went, Salem stayed the same.
Hands in his pockets, Alex made his way to his great uncle Victor's mansion. While walking through the park, Alex bumped into a blond teenager.
"Sorry," the kid mumbled as the same time Alex said, "Watch it."
Alex raised his brows in appreciation at the way the tight jeans hugged the blond's thighs and ass.
Nothing else delayed him and before Alex knew it, he was standing in front of his uncle's front door.
"Welcome to the Kiriakis residence," an elderly butler, Henderson, answered the door.
"Yeah, hi," Alex said. When the man didn't say anything else, Alex added, "My dad's Justin. Are you letting me in or what?"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Kiriakis," Henderson gestured Alex inside. "I almost didn't recognize you, sir. You've grown so tall."
"Yeah, it's hard to breathe up here," Alex sighed. He had enough comments about his height to last him a lifetime.
"Right through here, sir," Henderson lead Alex into the front room. "I'll find your father, shall I?"
"Whatever," Alex said, already tired of the hoity-toity atmosphere.
Knowing his way around the room, Alex poured himself a stiff drink. It was early in the day but jetlag was killing him. He wasn't confident in his ability to get through this reunion without booze either.
Justin, with Adrienne on his arm, entered the room. They took a few steps inside before noticing Alex.
"Alex!" Justin yelled, rushing to his eldest son's side. He pulled Alex into a firm hug and slapped his back several times. "When did you get here?"
Alex clapped Justin on the back before stepping away the first moment he got. "Today."
"It's great to see you," Justin proclaimed. His eyes dragged over Alex's features with a fond shake of his head. "Look at you. Full head of dark hair, sparkling blue eyes, strong, and handsome. It's like looking into a mirror."
Alex snorted, crossing his arms. "Yeah, in your dreams, old man."
Adrienne, a small smile on her face, slipped against Justin's side. "You do look good, Alex."
Alex didn't bother responding to Adrienne.
"How was your graduation?" Justin asked, glossing over the tension. "Sit and tell us everything."
Justin and Adrienne nodded and smiled at the right times up until Alex mentioned his mother.
"Oh," Justin glanced at Adrienne out of the corner of his eye, "How is Anjelica?"
"Same as ever," Alex shrugged. Noting how tense Adrienne looked, he added, "Spent a lot of time together, you know. Her gift was the best. She knows me so well."
Justin, giving Alex a stern look, asked, "What was it?"
"Bought me a new camera," Alex responded with a self-satisfied expression. "You want to see it?"
"Sure," Justin said with a shrug. "You got it with you?"
Alex pulled his camera out of the backpack he brought. All while Adrienne excused herself, face pinched. After examining the camera, Justin asked to see Alex's portfolio. Alex, not wanting to look too eager, reluctantly agreed.
"Wow," Justin closed the folder with a proud smile, "I can't believe how amazing these are. I had my doubts about you getting an art degree but these are fantastic."
Alex, not sure how to take that, nodded. "Right."
Adrienne, cell phone in hand, hurried back into the room. "Alex, there's someone that wants to say hello."
Taking the phone Adrienne shoved in his face, Alex braced himself. "Hello?"
"Alex?" an excited voice asked. "I thought Mom was joking! What are you doing here?"
"Passing through," Alex responded with less enthusiasm. He loved his youngest brother, he did. But Sonny always got on Alex's nerves.
"You gotta come see me," Sonny Kiriakis urged. "I mean, I haven't seen you in ages."
Rubbing his eyes, Alex let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, whatever. You coming to the mansion or what?"
"No, I've got to work," Sonny said with no small amount of pride. "I own my own coffee shop, you know."
"I've heard," Alex rolled his eyes. Anytime he talked to any of the family on the phone, someone would bring it up.
"Come on," Sonny pleaded. "There's some free coffee in it for you."
"If you say so," Alex knew Sonny wouldn't let up until he gave in. That was part of the reason for their dissension. Both were too stubborn for their own good. "See you in a few."
Alex hung up without another word. As he handed back the phone, he said, "I'm heading out."
"Going to see Sonny?" Justin stood up and followed Alex to the door.
"Might as well get it over," Alex said causing Justin to shake his head.
"Don't you want to tell your uncle hello?" Adrienne said, disapproval in her voice.
Alex took a deep breath and said, "See ya, Dad."
Ignoring Adrienne, Alex walked out the door. He took a few steps before pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his bag. He didn't smoke often, only when stressed. Something about Salem made him want to light up, though.
Leaning against a gaudy statue, Alex flipped his lighter shut and took a deep inhale.
"Can I bum one of those?" a high-pitched voice asked from near Alex's shoulder.
Alex recognized the uniform. The girl must have been a maid in Victor's employ. A cute maid with dimples and curly hair.
"Sure," Alex held out his pack. The girl let Alex light her cigarette before grinning at him.
"Thanks," she said. "So, you work in there too or something?"
"No," Alex responded, neck straining from looking down at the girl. "Victor's my uncle."
"That so?" the girl's smile changed. "In that case, want to meet up with me later?"
"Alright," Alex agreed when he saw the shape of the girl's lips when she blew out a smoke ring. "Where?"
"The Brady Pub," the girl answered. "Three hours."
"See you then," Alex smirked.
At least he would have something to look forward to after meeting Sonny.
A half-hour later, Alex arrived at Common Grounds. It didn't take him long to find the place. He just dreaded going inside. Alex couldn't remember the last time he had a conversation with Sonny that didn't end in an argument.
Wanting to get it over with, Alex stepped inside. He didn't want to admit it but the place looked nice. An upgrade from when Adrienne owned it.
"Hey," Sonny yelled from behind a counter. He tossed a rag down and hurried to Alex. "It's good to see you," Sonny said giving Alex a one-armed hug.
"Yeah," Alex nodded.
"So, what do you think of the place?" Sonny asked, face eager and smiling too much for Alex's liking.
"I don't hate it," Alex responded, rolling his eyes.
"It's great, huh?" Sonny grinned. He sat down at a free table and rambled. "My business partner, Chad, and I got things going. It's been so promising and the two of us…"
Alex tuned Sonny out. He could only listen to him for so long on a topic Alex enjoyed. When it was something Alex didn't care about in the slightest, he lost interest even sooner.
Sure, Alex knew Sonny always wanted a career as a businessman. Everyone knew that. Sure, a part of Alex felt proud to see his brother in his element now. That didn't stop Sonny from annoying him to no end.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Sonny said after another few minutes, "I didn't even offer you a drink. Let me get you something. What do you like?"
"Jetlag is beating me down," Alex rubbed over his face. "Get me a double espresso."
"You do look tired," Sonny acknowledged. Sonny couldn't help it if the idea of Alex looking less than perfect delighted him. "One espresso coming right up."
Sonny glanced back at Alex several times while he waited for the espresso machine to work.
He hadn't seen his eldest brother in so long. Three years to be exact. Sonny graduated from high school and left home to travel the world. Between climbing mountains and a long, painful stay in San Francisco, they lost touch.
Sonny didn't know what it was but things with Alex were always strained. Sonny didn't know why. He always craved Alex's approval and attention. But the two never got along for long.
It bothered Sonny that things came so easily to Alex. He made friends every time they moved. He got dates just by looking in a girl's direction. Alex got good grades by putting in the bare minimum. Sonny hated him for it, to be honest.
Hated that Alex was much taller than him. Hated that Alex had dark blue eyes. Hated that Alex's stomach was flat and defined when no matter how hard Sonny exercised he couldn't seem to tone up. Hated that his friends always thought Alex was hot.
Hated that Sonny always suspected their father liked Alex best.
But still, Sonny wanted to make Alex proud. Wanted his big brother's approval.
Bringing out a plateful of their biscotti, Sonny brandished Alex's order with a flourish.
"Here you go," Sonny said, "I'll be right back."
Sonny walked around the room checking on the customers and refilling coffees.
Sonny sat down with Alex again. "So, what are your plans?"
With a mouthful of cookie, Alex asked, "What do you mean?"
"You graduated!" Sonny praised. "Where are you going? What are you doing?"
"I'm not sure," Alex shrugged. "I've got options."
"Oh," Sonny frowned. "I thought you'd have it all figured out."
Alex, eyes narrowed, said, "I don't have to decide everything right now. I've got time."
"Huh," Sonny responded. He couldn't help the sense of accomplishment that he had his life all figured out and Alex didn't.
Sonny, getting a whiff of something, moved closer to Alex and sniffed. "Why do you smell like smoke?"
"Must have something to do with the cigarettes I smoked," Alex replied after throwing back his drink in one long gulp.
"Are you still doing that? I thought you only did that to piss off Mom," Sonny said with obvious disapproval.
"I like it," Alex said. "Besides my mom," he emphasized, "smokes them with me too."
Sonny, eyebrows furrowed, said, "That doesn't sound responsible."
"It's fun," Alex argued. "Something you don't know how to do."
"I do too! Just because I won't risk my lungs doesn't mean I'm not fun," Sonny crossed his arms.
"Yeah, okay," Alex rolled his eyes. "Says the kid that cried to his mommy when he smoked that bowl with me and the twins."
"That's not fair," Sonny defended. "You said no one would suspect us."
"No one did until you cried begging Adrienne for forgiveness," Alex pointed out.
"I told you I was sorry," Sonny threw his hands up. "I was fourteen. What did you expect?"
"Whatever, Buzzkill," Alex complained. "You're still the reason I got busted with it."
"I didn't know Dad brought home some detectives for dinner," Sonny maintained. "Or that Mom would encourage them to take you downtown."
"Yeah, sure you didn't," Alex responded with a rueful laugh.
"That community service was good for you," Sonny insisted, pointing at Alex.
"It's amazing. I see your mouth moving but all I hear is Adrienne," Alex stated. "You should pull that out at parties."
"Alex," Sonny complained.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes, both facing opposite directions. Until Sonny looked up when the door chimed as it opened.
Alex glanced at the door as well. He recognized the blond that bumped into him earlier. The one with the tight pants and killer ass.
Alex lifted his brow when he saw Sonny fumbling around to impress the kid.
Will Horton felt like throwing his arms up in the air and saying, "Fuck it." He had enough.
Summer was meant for relaxation and rest. Not nonstop babysitting, challenging summer courses, a Words with Friends title to defend, and proving EJ didn't kill Stefano.
Oh, and trying to accept myself.
At this point, Will was done. He wanted to throw in the towel and call it a day. He couldn't do any more or give any more effort. He just wanted it all to stop.
Will knew a lot of people didn't understand his reluctance but it was personal. At times, Will didn't understand it himself. Some days he felt so confident about who he was. Other days he'd seize up just thinking about it.
For every step forward Will made, he'd jump three steps back. He just wasn't comfortable with big declarations or promises right now. The whole thing made him uneasy, unsteady. He didn't know how to change that either.
He was Will Horton, colossal disappointment and universal fuck up. He didn't see that ever changing either.
If Will was-that word-it changed everything. Every relationship, every friendship. Would his religious family still love him the same if he liked men? Would his uncle, the priest, condemn him? Would his father still think he was a man? Would his mother love him even after all their bad blood? Or would this put them over the edge?
Will didn't know.
He did know T wouldn't remain a friend. How many more would Will lose? What would it mean for Will's past girlfriends too? Did Will betray them? Did it make him a liar?
What about Gabi? How would she take the reality of the situation? How would Will? It didn't give him relief knowing why he didn't enjoy sex with her the way he should. It made him feel guilty instead.
Did Will deceive Gabi on purpose? Did he have sex with her knowing he couldn't enjoy it the way he should? Was that the type of person Will was?
And what about his mom? All his life he lived with Sami Brady's expectations. How she ached for Will to get a normal family when he grew up. A house, a wife, 2.5 kids, and the white picket fence. Will wanted that too. After his childhood, it was the only life he envisioned.
What dream would he have now?
As much as he didn't want to say it out loud, Will didn't want to be gay. He didn't want to be different. He didn't want any other stigma that singled him out as an Other. He grew up with that label his whole life. He didn't need to add any more.
What if it wasn't even true? There were so many things happening to Will at the moment. Maybe he was confused.
Sure, Will felt different than before but it could have been for a number of reasons. He was accused of murder, after all. His boss might go to jail. His mother's relationships were up in the air.
Yes, Will had fun spending time with Sonny and Sonny's friends but that was because Sonny was a great guy. Sure, Will noticed when Sonny smiled his eyes crinkled but so what? When Chad laughed his nose wrinkled and Will didn't care about that. It didn't have to mean anything.
Yes, kissing Neil that night at the party was nice. Yes, it gave Will goosebumps and left him lightheaded but that could have been the alcohol. Will didn't drink often anymore unless EJ poured him a glass of Scotch. It went to his head that night. That's all.
Will knew everyone expected something out of him now. His parents, Grandma Marlena, Grandma Kate, Sonny, Neil, even that stupid Brian.
They all thought he should be out and proud but he wasn't. He couldn't be. None of them got it. They expected and judged and didn't understand.
Will grew up with everyone's judgments on his shoulders. He carried the weight of his mother's misdeeds. His father's, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, his own.
All Will wanted was to be ordinary. He wanted to blend into the crowd. He wanted to be forgotten. How could anyone forget Will Horton if he was-that word?
I can't even say it, Will thought, hands in his pockets and head down. I can't even say it. How can I be it?
I'll never feel comfortable the way Sonny is. I'll never be like Brian. I'll never get my happy ending now.
Sonny didn't have to worry much about his parents accepting him. From what he told Will, they were nothing short of perfect Sonny's whole life. Brian never worried that his mother would cast him aside. He didn't have a mother that managed to make everything about her.
It was scary, leaping into the unknown. Accepting himself, accepting the dangers of the world in reaction to him.
Will didn't know if he was brave enough, not yet.
Walking through the park, Will bumped shoulders with a tall man. "Sorry," Will mumbled.
He heard a scoff and a rude, "watch it," in return. Head down, Will kept walking even when he felt eyes on him. He kept moving. It was all he could do.
Will walked into the Brady Pub with a growing sense of unease. Spotting his father waving to him, Will took a deep breath before heading over.
"So," Lucas said after Will sat down across him, "how are things?"
Will shrugged. He wanted to unload all his problems. Talk about how he couldn't handle the pressure anymore. How he wanted to take the past few weeks back. How he never wanted Neil to come to the police station and give him an alibi. How he wanted to prove EJ innocent and not have to worry about that anymore. How he just wanted his dad to hold him like he used to when Will was young and scared and tell Will he loved him.
Instead, Will said, "My Chem class is gonna kill me."
"I didn't think you were taking summer school," Lucas noted.
"I like being ahead," Will said. Between his different schools here in Salem and in Switzerland, Will graduated early. It was difficult being the youngest freshman at Salem U.
"Chemistry was never my strong point either," Lucas admitted. "Billie always had to tutor me."
"Maybe I'll ask her if she remembers anything," Will said. "What about you? How are you holding up?"
"Besides getting a kick out of Rafe and EJ fighting over your mother?" Lucas snorted. "I just started…"
Will nodded as Lucas began a long-winded explanation on his newest business account. Will hmm-ed and uh-huh-ed at the right times.
Right until Lucas turned the tables back on him.
"So, how are you since the article came out?" Lucas asked in one big rush.
"Okay," Will mumbled. He played with the salt and pepper shakers on the table.
"Is-um-are you seeing-um-I mean-good," Lucas cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at Will. "Good."
"…Right," Will said after a few moments of strangled disappointment.
"I was thinking that maybe, since things with EJ look pretty cut and dry, you could work for me," Lucas offered.
"EJ's innocent, Dad," Will said with a glare. "Mom and I are gonna prove it."
Rolling his eyes, Lucas shook his head, "Sure, Will." Changing the subject before Will could argue, Lucas said, "Isn't that Gabi over there?"
Will, looking out the front window, nodded. It looked like his ex-girlfriend alright.
"I always hated how things ended with you two," Lucas lamented. "You two looked so good together. She's such a beautiful young woman."
Will looked at his father for a few moments before bowing his head. He didn't know how to tell his dad the brunette Will thought was beautiful wasn't Gabi.
Will walked through the door into Common Grounds with a bit of a slump to his shoulders. He just wanted some caffeine and to stop thinking about his life. Trudging towards the counter, Will sat on the barstool and laid his head in his arms.
Sonny, seeing Will, excused himself from the table he was sitting at. He set down a carafe of coffee and wiped his hands on his apron front. After making sure Will couldn't see him, Sonny ran his fingers through his hair and made sure he didn't have any gross stains. Taking a deep breath, Sonny put on a confident smile.
"Hey," Sonny tapped Will's head, "you okay?"
"Coffee," Will pleaded, voice muffled through his arms.
Sonny smiled before going to get Will a cup. So focused on Will, Sonny almost forgot he already had a guest.
"Who's this?" a deep voice behind Will asked.
Will lifted up his head and looked over his shoulder.
Oh, Will stared at the handsome man behind him and blinked several times.
"This is Will Horton," Sonny announced as he set Will's cup down. "Will, this is my oldest brother, Alex."
Alex took his time looking over the muscles in Will's back and the curve of his ass. After he got a good look, Alex caught Will's eyes. When Will didn't say anything, Alex quirked an eyebrow, Cute
"…Hi," Will responded, swallowing down a sudden lump in his throat. He didn't know why but he felt unsettled with those dark blue eyes on him.
Coughing into his fist, Will turned back to face Sonny.
Sonny's eyes drifted between Will and Alex. When Will faced him again, Sonny noticed how red his cheeks looked. Not giving it much more thought, Sonny looked at Alex, "You sticking around? Want me to get you anything else?"
"No," Alex pulled his eyes away from Will, "I've got a date."
"Already?" Sonny laughed. "You've been in Salem about five minutes."
"I'm sure that's how long the relationship will last too," Alex commented. "I'm supposed to meet her at some pub."
"Will's great-grandma owns that place," Sonny said.
"That so?" Alex leaned his elbow on the counter, body angled toward Will.
"Yeah," Will glanced at Alex before turning away, gnawing his lower lip.
Alex kept his eyes on Will, trying not to smile.
"I sometimes help her out," Will admitted forcing himself to say something and not sit there like a loser.
"What about tonight? Am I going to see you there tonight?" Alex questioned voice getting a bit suggestive.
"Um," Will swallowed before grabbing his cup of coffee, "I don't think so."
"Pity," Alex remarked, looking Will up and down.
Sonny, realizing Alex was making Will uncomfortable, cleared his throat. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date?"
"No," Alex smirked, "I don't have to spend hours in front of the mirror like some people do."
"I do not take hours," Sonny defended. When he first heard Alex was in town Sonny felt excited. It had been a long time since he had seen his brother but now Sonny remembered why that was.
"Sure you don't," Alex insisted in a disbelieving voice. "I suppose you rolled out of bed with that hair, huh?"
"Would you just shut up? I have work to do anyway," Sonny gave Alex a smug look.
"Alright, I'll just let Will here entertain me," Alex grinned and put a hand low on Will's back.
Sonny, eyes zeroing in on the placement of that hand, huffed, "I'm pretty sure Will is here for me not you."
"Nonsense," Alex slipped his fingers lower on Will's back. His fingertips brushed the waistband of Will's jeans. "Besides I thought you had to work."
"I do," Sonny grunted with narrowed eyes.
"So work?" Alex shrugged. "Isn't that why you wanted me here? To show off?"
Will sat up straighter and edged away from Alex. Looking between Sonny and Alex, Will didn't know what to do with the situation. He could see there was some sort of sibling rivalry going on.
I don't think I've ever seen Sonny looking like that. He's never lost his cool before, Will realized. Wow.
"Alex," Sonny hissed.
Alex put one hand in the air, "Fine, I'm going." Tugging on Will's belt loop, Alex said, "I'll be seeing you later."
"Bye," Will said and watched as Alex walked out the door. Glancing back at Sonny, Will said, "He's-um- friendly."
Sonny rolled his eyes, "He's a big, smarmy pain."
"Is he-um-you know?" Will wasn't sure if that was something he should be asking or not.
"Is he what?" Sonny wasn't following Will's train of thought.
If Alex liked boys Sonny would have told me at some point, Will decided. I must have imagined the vibes.
"Are the two of you always like that?" Will changed topics. While Will listened to Sonny's explanation he tried to shake off the feeling of Alex's eyes on him.
Author's note:
As you can see, I took the feedback from the bits I posted in Unfinished Business and fleshed it out. Not sure how often this will be updated but I'm working on it. So far I'm planning at least ten chapters but knowing me it'll end up longer.
Please let me know what you thought. Thanks for reading.
Title from X Ambassadors song "Unsteady".