A/N: Hey guys! This is my first Ouran fanfic. It's...strange. My friend and I thought of some of the random shtuff whilst we were high on life (lol we can get high on life...cus we AWESOME) and the result was just too random to not share with you. I hope you don't have a haemorrhage from sheer randomosity.

Enjoy! Oh, and you'd better review :D

The Secret Confessions of Haruhi Fujioka, the Infamous MUFFIN THIEF

"It was an obsession, really. I got hooked on the thrill of stealing. And the muffins were really good."

Haruhi Fujioka tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Those look really good."

Tamaki raised his eyebrows and held the plate of muffins higher.

"Why did you do it, Haru-chan?" said Hunny, eyes glistening. "Why did you steal my muffin?"

"Because pi is HAUNTING ME!!" screamed Haruhi.

Silence.

"Needs more cowbell," grunted Mori.

"Mmm," said Kyouya, examining his toes.

"Let's sing the vegetable juice song!" said the twins in unison. They must have rehearsed together at some point to get the timing so perfect.

"Y'know, I've never fixed a nose," said Kyouya thoughtfully. "But I've fixed many toes. I guess you could say they were similar."

"Indeedy," said Tamaki. "W....wait, where did the muffins go?"

Every eye turned to Haruhi who looked back innocently. "Wasn't me."

"So what's that under your shirt, then?" said Tamaki suspiciously.

"Nothing," said Haruhi. A muffin dropped from beneath her jacket.

"I wish my girlfriend randomly spouted muffins," sighed Kyouya with longing.

"You don't have a girlfriend," said Mori.

"I wish I had a girlfriend," sighed Kyouya.

"I swear that was a totally different batch of muffins," said Haruhi, tucking her jacket into her trousers to prevent any further spillages.

"Seize her!" Tamaki ordered to the twins.

"Can't be bothered," said Hikaru.

"Let's go watch Gakuen Heaven!" said Kaoru.

They pranced off hand in hand, singing, "Asa da, kyou wa, mabushisugiru SUNSHINE!!"

All through this kerfuffle, Nekozawa and Kasanoda had been hanging onto the chandelier.

"You got the muffins?" said Nekozawa.

"Yeah," said Kasanoda.

That night the two of them feasted on muffins and vegetable juice, and all was well. Apart from Kyouya, who had somehow developed banana flu from sticking too many bananas in his ear.

Put a banana in your eeeeeeeeear ~

Flipper

A/N: Hide your muffins.

Fujioka's coming for them.

~Green