AN: I'm not sure how often I'll update this, given Childish is still my priority right now, but I couldn't get rid of this little plot bunny and I was super excited to write it. So, this is a college AU by yours truly that no one asked for. It's way less angsty than the title implies, and I have a lot planned. It's Iron Husbands (TonyxRhodey) so if you don't like that, sorry! I'm including a lot of heros in here I don't know a lot about, so feel free to point out if I mischaracterize them. And send me ideas for chapters if you want to!
The room was empty, rock music blasting and distorted from somewhere in the distance. The chairs slowly filled up, people looking around in confusion, mutters distorting the air. Soon the music cut off, quite abruptly, and banging could be heard from the side room that it had floated from.
"Shit, you were supposed to remind me!" The door burst open, half of a turned around body appearing, disheveled hair and a bright pink Barbie comb also showing. "Stop it with the hair - DROP THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER THIS INSTANT!" The body disappeared, the door slamming shut again, and more banging was heard along with several curses. The upper classroom door opened and the students turned, collectively, to see who this latecomer was.
"Professor Potts!" a student exclaimed happily, and the redhead turned with a smile, not noticing the lower side door opening again and a disheveled man slipping out, going to casually lean against the desk in the center of the lecture hall.
"Why are you interrupting my class, Pepper?" he asked with a smile as she turned to look dubiously at him.
"I doubt I was interrupting anything. I wanted to make sure you actually remembered to show up." There were some titters at this, and the students glanced around at each other, grinning.
"I don't know what you're talking about. We were having a grand old - Dum-E I told you to stay put!" He ran over, slamming the slowly opening door shut, and flashed a grin at Pepper. "Time."
"Uh-huh. I'm sure. Be nice to Dr. Stark, class," she said with an indulgent smile and a shake of her head as she departed.
This was going to be the most interesting class of the semester for many of the students here, and they knew it.
They watched as Dr. Stark puttered around, grabbing himself a coffee from a table in the corner of the room and pulling a Five-Hour Energy from a drawer in his desk, mixing the two together with gusto as he watched them back. "So," he started with a smile, setting his toxic drink down and picking up a dry erase marker to twirl between his fingers. "A lot of you probably won't like me."
"Why is a teenager teaching our class?" Almost too fast to process, the others watched in awe as Stark launched his marker across the room and dead into the forehead of the person who had spoken in a perfect overhand throw, the indignant and pained cry making some of the shocked students clap.
"I'm twenty-five, thank you very much, and it's because, I'm told, I'm the best there is."
"He's told?" Clint muttered, glancing at Steve and Bucky, who both raised their eyebrows and shrugged. They had all been dreading this class, but now it seemed they were in for a treat.
"Anyway, I'm apparently a hard person to like. Eccentric, excitable, argumentative, apparently evil. So yeah, a lot of you probably won't like me, but that's fine, because you don't have to. I'm here to teach you guys something. That being said, I expect you to attend my lectures. If you don't attend them and end up failing my test, wherein a failing grade is less than a B, I'll kick you out. If you do attend them, I'm going to try my best to work with you and I understand that you all have a lot going on and are doing your best, so feel free to come to me for questions or help." He smiled again, picking up his coffee, and cried out as it was knocked out of his hand by a flying projectile - another marker, some of the students realized. "Rhodey! How could you!"
"I told you to stop drinking that crap." Professor Rhodes shook his head, descending from the same door Professor Potts had appeared in. "You're going to kill yourself."
"I'll have you know I am perfectly healthy, and you people need to stop interrupting my class." Rhodes snorted.
"Who else interrupted? Was it Pep? Because I'm sure she was only trying to help."
"I'm offended Honeybear. Look at all these eager faces." Some people grinned. Others looked dubious. Bucky had to hold back laughter, even more so when Stark winked at him. "Happy to learn from me. You're interrupting their education."
"Sure," Rhodes drawled, putting his arm around Stark's waist and pulling him close. "I know you're doing your best, darling. Just wanted to see how it was going."
"Why don't any of you trust me! It's only fifteen minutes into the first class."
"We do trust you."
"You got a weird way of showing it." Stark shook his head, but he was still smiling. "I can't believe you won't let me have my coffee. I need it, you know."
"That's not coffee, that's toxic sludge."
"It was just coffee!"
"Uh-huh." Rhodes finally stopped looking at Stark to glance around the room, taking in the students' faces. "Got a good looking class here."
"Yes, they are." Stark wiggled his eyebrows and Rhodes shoved him. "They're going to be great, I know it. A good first class."
"Of course they are," Rhodes answered easily, and Stark didn't seem to register the subtle threat in the other professor's voice, but the students definitely did.
"Are they dating?" Scott whispered, leaning over to a girl sitting in front of him. Jane glanced at him before shrugging, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"Is it any of our business?"
"Get out of here so I can start teaching already!" Stark shoved at Rhodes, blushing and laughing when the taller male placed a kiss on the crown of his head. "Go! Go!"
"I'm going. Be good for Dr. Stark, class, it's his first time." Stark wiggled his eyebrows and Rhodes blushed, glaring. "You are a menace."
"I'm told." Steve was looking at Bucky in alarm, who was making sounds akin to choking as he tried to get his laughter under control, Clint clapping like a deranged seal on his other side. Stark smiled at them and Bucky lost it completely, burying his face in Steve's lap and wheezing. In front of them, Bruce was trying his best not to let his lips quirk into a smile. Rhodes waved as he left, Stark watching him the whole way, leaning over one of the front desks to whisper "I'm tapping that." The girl snorted, blushing. It was more than Janet ever wanted to know about any of her professors, but she had a feeling she would like Dr. Stark anyway.
"Real catch there, sir."
"I know," Stark sighed back with adoration, tearing his eyes away from the empty doorway to look at the girl, who was stifling laughter again. "Hey, you're Hank's TA!"
"Yes, sir."
"I love the paper you wrote last year. Particle physics, man. Not my best area, but that paper was great, absolutely marvelous. Glad to have you." That drew a genuine grin out of Janet, a soft blush rising on her cheeks.
"Thank you sir." He smiled, still leaning on her desk.
"You know, Pym doesn't like me very much."
"He doesn't, sir."
"You know what I think?" he stage whispered again, leaning closer as she smiled and shook her head.
"What?"
"He's just jealous that I have Rhodey."
"You know, I did get that impression, sir." Stark stepped back, laughing uproariously at her response.
"Oh, I like you, Van Dyne! I like you a lot!" He beamed at her, stepping back to go make himself another coffee. Someone grumbled from the other side of the room, and he spoke without turning. "Say one more word, Tiberius Stone. I have a sadly large assortment of Expo markers because apparently that is the go-to gift for new teachers and a penchant to win against Romanoff at darts." Most of the class turned to look at a frankly stricken young man with a red spot from where the earlier marker had impacted his forehead, looking somewhere between shocked and absolutely furious. Scott was coughing desperately in an effort to hide his laughter while Wade Wilson was actually sobbing into a textbook, Peter beside him looking unashamedly approving. Carol was smirking, already intensely approving of this professor.
"Anyway, right, teaching..." Stark trailed off as banging was heard before he darted to the other side of the room, tearing his office door open and screaming "Dum-E, no! Can I not leave you alone to watch your brothers for one hour?!"
"Well, that was..."
"Interesting?" Bucky tried to finish for Steve as they took a seat at the base of a tree in the middle of the quad, students straggling out of the lecture hall.
"Amazing?" Clint sighed, awestruck at the strange teacher they now had.
"Eccentric," Steve corrected, still not sure it was quite the right word.
"We shouldn't be taught by a fuckin' fag," Ty muttered as he passed behind their tree, and they all turned to stare at him until he got uncomfortable.
"You're just jealous you can't tap that cuz Professor Rhodes has it," Scott Lang shouted as he passed, arm in arm with Carol Danvers. She snorted, rolling her eyes as Ty made gagging sounds.
"We shouldn't have to deal with a fucking asshole," Darcy quipped pleasantly as she shoved past the taller boy. "But you're here."
"I can't believe Fury is letting him teach us."
"I can't believe you're still standing here," Jane Foster deadpanned, staring him straight in the eye. She seemed to be one of the only people who could intimidate him, and Bruce Banner barked out a laugh as he scampered off and they took seats next to Steve. "Seems like we're up for a fun class."
"Did you see those 'bots?" Scott gushed as he and Carol pulled chairs from one of the patios. "God, they were gorgeous! Fully autonomous AIs, just amazing!"
"Did you see what he was drinking? He's going to give himself a heart attack, that's what's going to happen." Bruce was ever the worrywart, and flinched when Betty came up behind him and hit him lightly on the head.
"We can't judge him. I've seen what some of you people eat. He's young, and it's his first time, let him be."
"The only thing I was judging was that fine ass," Wade commented as he dropped to the ground, Peter kicking his leg and getting an "ow!".
"That is so disgusting," Doreen said as she dropped down next to him, punching him in the arm and munching in peanuts. "He's like five years older than us and our teacher. You're gross, Wade."
"He would see it as flattery, trust me," Sharon said with a smile as she dropped into Carol's lap, letting Darcy lean against her leg so she could braid her hair. "He practically preens in any sort of praise."
"You know him" Steve asked, a bit surprised. Bucky hit him with his shoulder.
"She's his cousin, dude."
"You kept this amazing man from us!" Scott shouted in indignation as he lept up from his seat, pointing. "You kept his 'bots from me!"
"He's a quiet person. Kinda shy around people. Professor Rhodes has helped him a lot with that." Sharon just shrugged, massaging Darcy's scalp while Jane took out her laptop and started typing away.
"They look good together," Peter said offhand, trying to keep Wade from scribbling on him with a pen. "How long they been together?"
"They've known each other awhile. Started dating about a year back." Sharon smirked. "He promised I could be best man at their wedding."
"You better make me your plus one," Carol teased, poking her side.
"Like hell."
"Anyway, did you guys hear about Sue and Reed?"
It was going to be a very interesting semester.