Title: Enclosure
Author: Half-Human
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and all its wonderful characters belong to the genius Shonda Rhimes and everyone who's helped put this drama together.
Summary: Addison finds herself in a crisis and she needs help quickly. ADDEK
A/N: I just had to write this, it popped in my head and had to put my other fic aside. One shot for now. THANKS INKIE FOR BETAing. AS ALWAYS, U ROCK!
-8-8-8-
It was one of those days—busy days where everyone was in a rush, heading to ORs, running exams, diagnosing patients, all while trying to put aside the pressures of their personal lives. The storm that raged outside didn't help any, it just gave all the day's routines a certain edge to them.
Rushing to and from, checking on test results, writing reports, and scheduling deliveries, Addison was having a very hectic morning. She was surprised actually because she had enjoyed a good night's sleep. Her conversation with Derek on them being civilized comforted her although the thought that he had officially started dating Meredith did sting. The bickering between Derek and her in Chief's office was also unsettling. 'Oh, well,' she thought trying to think past that mess. She had tossed her rings, gotten rid of them forever, and ironically, vowed to move on and forget Derek even though she wasn't sure if she truly could.
"O'Malley, you're with me today," Addison said, jotting down notes on her clipboard and briskly walking past the front desk. George nodded and caught up with Addison, he had been looking for her for several minutes.
"So…what do we have for today?" Izzie inquired as she trailed behind George.
"What are you doing here?" Addison asked, pushing her glasses up her nose with a finger.
"I'm suppose to follow Dr. O'Malley for the day."
"Very well. Right now I have to go visit one of my patients. Emma Drew, newborn, has been under the blue light for several days. I believe she has a strange form of jaundice. " Addison said pushing the button to the elevator and walking in as soon as it opened. She sighed as she saw who was already waiting there.
"Isn't this great?" Mark smiled. He lifted his cup of coffee and took a sip. Karev rolled his eyes and looked through his papers. He was right beside Sloan. Addison didn't respond to Mark's comment. She simply stepped in the elevator and faced the door. "Well, good morning to you too!" Mark added sarcastically. Addison noted that there were five other people in the elevator aside from her, Mark, and the three interns. The elevator was getting rather filled and Addison shifted uncomfortably. As the doors shut as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. 'Only 4 flights to go,' she thought, trying to get rid of the small twitching in her gut.
Floor One.
Addison watched the doors open and was relieved to see 3 of the strangers exit. They pushed passed her and Addison stepped further into the elevator. The doors were about to close when someone suddenly shoved their arm through the narrow opening between them and stepped in. A man and two women entered followed by the two people Addison really didn't want to see at the moment.
"De- Dr. Shepherd," Addison spoke from behind a short woman, noticing the over-crowded elevator, "the elevator is full, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait for the next one." She looked at him and his girlfriend, while she tried to control her breathing and keep hold of her papers that were getting crumpled by the man pushing at her from the side. Derek raised an eyebrow, testing, took Meredith's free hand and stepped forward. "Doctor," Addison said, eyes pleading. She knew he knew but he continued.
"Dr. Montgomery, we're only here for a couple of floors, I'm sure everyone can squeeze in and accommodate for us." He stepped forth, pushed himself in, and pulled Meredith along with him.
"Dr…Shepherd," Addison pleaded worriedly, arousing suspicion by everyone in the elevator. Everyone knew that the pair had divorced but they didn't know on what terms they parted and having such an assortment of people---Meredith, Derek, Mark, and Addison-- in close proximity, peaked everyone's interest. Everyone was seemingly busy humming, chewing, and reading, but in reality all ears were focused on the transaction between the divorcee and her ex-husband.
"Dr. Shepherd, I do believe she has a point. She feels it's too crowded," Mark suddenly spoke up, slightly irritated and putting emphasis on his words. He knew as well.
"You know what Dr. Sloan, it's a matter of perspective," Derek hissed, "We're here for what? 15 seconds? Goodness. Dr. Montgomery, you can take 15 seconds, can't you?" Derek pushed further in, and the doors finally closed. The elevator was extremely crowded. At the back Sloan stood in a corner, trying to secure his cup of coffee. Alex was to his left and jammed in between a couple of nurses and George. Izzie was at the other back corner of the elevator and Addison stood in front of her, pressed firmly against the blonde. A heavy set man pushed Addison against the wall and a rather short nurse stood in front of her, allowing her to barely see Derek and Meredith shove themselves into the elevator.
Derek didn't hide his relationship with Meredith anymore. Stuffed in the crowded elevator, he held her hand tightly. Addison couldn't see the gesture, but she didn't care. She couldn't even think of him and her. Instead her focus was on her breathing and on her space. Space. She looked around, the woman in front of her pressed against her, she felt Steven's arms behind her and the man at her side just seemed to keep pushing into her. She definitely wasn't thinking about him and her, but she was hurt by the fact that he didn't care, because he knew. 'No,' she thought frantically, 'I must calm down. Nothing is going to happen, I'm out of here in a few seconds.'
Floor two.
The door opened with a chime, but no one needed to get out. There were some hopefuls wanting to get in, but once they saw the crowd, they were smart enough to wait for the next elevator. Addison gave a sigh of relief, and cherished the 'fresh' air she felt when the doors opened. The moisture that hung in the air from the rain-soaked shoes and her close proximity to so many people was really getting to her.
The elevator started up again. 'Almost there, almost there, almost there,' Addison chanted in her head as she closed her eyes and gripped her papers. 'Almost there, almost the-'
Stop. The elevator suddenly jerked and stopped. Addison's eyes flew open. The small twitches she felt in her gut shot through her.
"What just happened?" A man asked.
"Are we stuck?" Another asked
"What's going on?
Everyone in the small elevator began to shift and ask questions.
"Hold on, hold on!" Derek yelled from his corner near the elevator-button console. He pushed all the buttons. Nothing. The lights suddenly flickered and dimmed. Everyone in the elevator began to talk at once again. Voices, voices over voices, over shuffling of papers, over coughs, over rude remarks and complaining, voices—all at once, reverberated off the walls in the small tight space. The sounds of distress and fear, of annoyance and anticipation—all of them, meshed together and shook Addison from deep within. She felt herself begin to tremble. She closed her eyes. 'This can't be happening,' she said inhaling and exhaling and inhaling and exhaling.
"Ok, I guess the storm did something," Derek said, raising his voice. "Everyone just calm down—"
"Wait, shouldn't emergency power kick-in?" Izzie asked from the corner, her sudden question making Addison jump slightly.
"It should've but I guess something went wrong," the heavyset man answered. "I guess we have to wait." Those words brought forth a silence, an eerie silence that rattled all the elevator occupants. In the tight dark space, everyone stood silently, contemplating how they arrived at their current predicament, thinking about what they could be doing at that very moment instead of being their, crammed up against each other.
"Is that someone's hand on my ass?" Alex asked, breaking the silence. Izzie broke out laughing, alleviating the strange tension in the elevator. No one answered. "Hey! There it is again!" he said, jumping slightly.
"Karev, you know you like it," Mark added slyly. Karev eyed Sloan suspiciously.
"Hey, hey , hey," Mark said, defensively, showing his coffee bearing hands to Alex.
"Alex, just relax, it's just a –woah!" George cried, "Ok, I've been touched. Whoever it is….stop!" Derek, Meredith and a couple of the strangers started laughing. Izzie giggled but noticed that Addison was shivering slightly in front of her.
"Dr. Montgomery?" She called, but Addison didn't respond, she was lost in her head, trying to calm herself, trying to breathe. Her heart rate sped up and sweat dripped down her face. She tried, but she couldn't stop shaking. Space. Too little space—so small of a space she didn't want to open her eyes and see it. "Dr. Montgomery?" Izzie asked, more insistently. The rest of those in the elevator chatted amongst themselves and Alex and George tried to figure out who the hell kept pinching their bottoms.
"It's…too hot," Addison muttered. "I need to get out," she whispered. Izzie pushed her hand up and placed it on Addison's shoulder.
"It's going to be ok," Izzie offered, completely confused and worried at the doctor's shivering.
"No…no!" she cried, making everyone turn to her. "Its too hot in here, I need to get out, I need to get out!" She began gasping for breath, her chest heaved up and down as she let go of her papers and clipboard and brought her hands to the sides of her face.
"Shit!" Mark muttered. "Addison…calm down, I'm heading over there!" he yelled. Derek stiffened. 'Fuck!' he thought.
"No! I'll go!" he said, feeling knots form in his gut. Meredith shifted uncomfortably against him and she couldn't help but feel pangs of jealously.
"Derek, why are—"
"Like hell you will, it's your fault!" Mark yelled, cutting Meredith off. Everyone was lost. The elevator grew quiet save for Addison's desperate gasps. Izzie tried to steady her, but in the tight space, she had little success.
"What's going on?" Meredith asked, voicing what everyone was wondering about.
"Addison, Addison has a mild case of claustrophobia," Derek said quickly. His voice shook as he tried to push past Meredith and toward Addison.
"She's having a panic attack and it's your fault Derek!" Mark was angry and shoved his coffee toward Alex, who instinctively grabbed it. He was right, and Derek knew it. Derek knew about Addison's condition, he knew she couldn't ride in elevators that were too crowded, or take the subway during rush hour, or live in any place remotely small. That was partly why he chose to live in trailer, because it was a space that Addison would never willingly live in. She surprised him when she said she wanted to work at their marriage and decided to move in with him. He admired the fact that she was able to live with him despite her phobia, but now, now as he was crammed in the tiny elevator he felt a storm of guilt build within him, one strong enough to contend with the raging one outside of Seattle Grace.
"I'll help her!" he said, pushing past Meredith.
"I need to get out! It's too hot! Please!" Addison cried. Those around her tried to give her space, but there was really no space to give.
"No! You did this!" Mark continued as he also tried to move toward Addison. Meredith suddenly gripped Derek's hand.
"Let him help her," she said sternly. Derek looked at Meredith, shocked that she seemingly felt jealous during such a moment of crisis. He yanked his hand out of her grasp.
"Let me out! Let met out!" the tall redhead cried. Her ragged breathing frightened those around her. Despite the dimmed light, everyone could see the shimmer of the sweat that covered her. They detected the fear in her eyes and noted her shivering.
"He can't help her. Only I can," Derek whispered, realizing the profound implications of his statement. Meredith was shocked, but she didn't protest, because she saw it in his eyes. She saw what she had been denying for quite some time and it hurt: Derek hadn't completely moved on. Derek still had feelings for Addison. Meredith denied it at first, but she knew now for sure. Now she knew that Derek had feelings for his ex-wife. He just covered them up and ignored them by making snide remarks, indulging in ridiculous bickering, and constantly broadcasting how 'happy' he was without her. Bullshit.
"Go. Just go," Meredith said, aggravated, but she was too late. Derek was already shoving himself past people.
"Please!" Addison continued to yell. Her shrieks sent chills up everyone's spine. No one thought they'd see the day when Addison Montgomery, stone cold Satan, would cry in such frenzy. No one thought she could be so shaken, so lost, and it pushed everyone further on edge.
"Mark, you know you can't help!" Derek said, as he shoved past a woman.
"Well I can try!"
"Stop being a moron, you know nothing about her condition, you can't help."
"Yeah, you should know because you caused it! But that's ok, because it only proves that you are a jerk. You don't care, you never did, and you don't know anything about her!"
"She is my—"
"What? She is your what Derek? Fill me in! Last time I checked you—"
"Stop!" Izzie cried, "stop it! Dr. Sloan, if you can't help back off. She needs help." Mark halted as Alex took his free hand and pressed it firmly against Mark's chest. Derek pushed past the heavy set man and stood in front of Addison.
"Addison, Addison," he began, trying to grab her attention.
"I need to get out," she cried, looking up at the ceiling, holding her hands to her ears and shaking her head.
"Shhh, Addison just breath." Addison was still gasping for breath. He suddenly pushed her hands away from her face and replaced them with his. He forced her to look at him, but her eyes darted from left to right, up and down. They were red from tears and shear panic; her face and hands were damp from sweat.
"Derek…I'm scared," she cried and Derek nodded.
"I know Addison," he said, trying to slow down and lower his voice. "Look at me Addison." Addison was still shaking, and looked into his eyes now and then, but returned her gaze to the ceiling and the door.
"You said 15 seconds," she whispered, brow crinkling in response to the pain she felt. "I can't breath…the walls are--"
"No, Addison, the walls aren't moving. Addison, honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forced myself in here. Just breathe. In and out, come on."
"Why did you come in?" she wept, staring at the ceiling, eyes widening in fear. Derek felt something shatter in his gut. How stupid and cruel and vindictive could a man be? 'Why did I want to challenge her? She told me it was crowded, why didn't I listen?' he thought trying to hold Addie steady. He heard Mark curse at him, but ignored him. His focus was on Addison and her ceaseless shaking. Under any other circumstance Addison would never let people see her in such a state.
"Addie, you know I'm a moron," he began, "I'm stupid. You heard that right? I'm a moron."
"I need to get out Derek…please," she pleaded and it pained him; hurt like the squeezing of a healing wound. Usually when she would find herself in such a bout he would hold her and talk to her, but that was when they were together.
When they were together. Derek's thought's flashed through various memories. 'Fuck it,' he concluded, finally embracing what he had been denying himself. He stepped forth and kissed Addison gently on the lips. She was still in her panic spell but she had turned her gaze to Derek. All the occupants of the elevator gasped and Derek swore he heard the grinding of Mark's teeth and a soft sigh-of-hurt from Meredith. But he didn't care, he didn't feel bad, didn't feel guilty because he realized that he was right were he belonged. He was with the woman he loved. He was with his Addie.
"Addison," Derek whispered, giving her a quick peck on the lips, "Addison, you are not here."
"I'm not here?" she questioned.
"No, you're not. Close you're eyes, you'll see," Derek advised and Addison complied. He moved his hands away from her face and embraced her in a light hug. "You're not here Addie," he whispered in her ear. "You're back in Central Park. Its warm and the sun is out and the grass is green and goes on and on."
"That's good," she sniffled, and Derek could feel her heart beat begin to steady.
"I know, and you are in Strawberry Fields and you've brought fresh flowers to place for your favorite Beatle. There are children everywhere and the birds are singing." Addison wrapped her arms around Derek, despite the little room and felt herself drifting off into the world Derek was depicting. "You take a deep breath and embrace the open expanse of sunshine and flowers." Addison inhaled deeply and Derek knew he was making progress. He stroked her hair and tried to rock her back and forth. One would think he was comforting a child, but whenever Addison had a panic attack, such comforting was the only way to calm her and ease her out of the fear.
"I want to get out," she whispered.
"Shhh, Addie, you are already out, remember? Can't you feel the breeze?" Addie nodded against Derek and he felt her shakes lesson and her breathing slow down.
The rest of the occupants in the elevator stood silently as they watched or heard Derek sooth Addison. It was strange to hear or listen to such an intimate transaction, some shifted and tried to avoid the couple.
Hello, this is the Fire Department—
Everyone's head shot up as they heard the crackling voice over the speaker at the button-console. Addie jumped but Derek held her. "Calm down, its nothing. Nothing--just a taxi passing by. The sun is still shining, you'll be ok," he coaxed. The man over the speaker kept talking and George, shoving himself to the console (Meredith was still in state of shock), began to talk with the man. The attention was no longer on Derek and Addison and Derek felt as if it were only him and her in the elevator. He felt as if he had effectively taken Addison and himself away from that crammed elevator, away from Seattle, and away from the turmoil of the past months. As he rocked her softly back and forth and stroked her hair, he noticed the slow, regular patterns of her breathing. She had fallen asleep.
-8-8-8-
"What happened?" Addison asked, groggily, waking up in a hospital bed.
"You had a panic attack Addie," Derek said holding her left hand and sitting beside her. Addison plopped her head back on her pillow and recalled the events of the day. All she could remember was fear, fear and darkness and suffocation. And then she recalled Derek and his cruel ways, and then—then Derek changed. Derek…was there for her. She looked at him and pulled her hand from his. He looked hurt but he took her hand again and kissed it.
"I'm sorry Addie," he said, " I shouldn't have been there, I shouldn't have hurt you…I shouldn't have ever left you." Addison was confused, but she realized his leaving her referred not to the elevator incident, but to his relationship with Meredith.
"Thank you for being there for me," Addie whispered as she moved her hand from his and placed it on his cheek.
"Addison. I want to be there for you…always," He said, hesitantly.
"Thank you, you are a good friend," she gave a weak smile. Here eyes reflected the pain she felt, the yearning she had to be, once again, with him.
"No, I will always be your friend… I mean, I want to work on what we have. I…Addison, I tried to deny it, but I--"
"We are divorced Derek," Addison said, even though she couldn't care less about that technicality. Derek noticed her shaky voice.
"You don't care about the divorce, don't you? You feel it Addie, don't deny it either," he whispered. "Addie, we…we need each other." Derek gently pushed himself on the bed and wrapped an arm around Addison. Addison didn't protest, didn't flinch. She welcomed his touch and gave a sigh of relief. "Addie, tell me you don't want this. Tell me you don't want this and I'll go. Just tell me." Addison lay in bed, and started to stroke Derek's hair as he gently caressed her free hand with his. She lay there, trying to process what was happening. Lying in bed with Derek, Addison realized that she was fine. She was with the man she loved. Derek was right were he belonged, and Addison said nothing.
-8-8-8-
A/N: ok, I finally wrote this, it was in my head and I was procrastinating and ugh. It is done. Again, thanks Inkie for your killer editing skillz!
I want ADDEK back, waah : ( …ok, anywayz, please R/R! I'd really appreciate it :D
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