Veronica, preoccupied with a text message, did not sense the person behind her as she unlocked the door to her apartment. She jumped a little as he started to talk. "So I figure, a June wedding maybe? Although, I always had the feeling that you'd prefer a fall ceremony." He hissed out into the night air.
"Logan? Holy crap did you scare me." She let out a relieved sigh, and thought a second about what he said before she continued. "And is that a proposal? 'Cause you should know your delivery needs a lot of work. It doesn't exactly make a girl all weak in the knees-like." She let her voice go all girly and squeak out the last part of the sentence.
"Well you know I just wanted to put a pre-order in on my tux, and I figured I'd beat the rush." His voice held anger she hadn't heard since, well since they had last been a couple. It immediately put her on edge.
"What the hell are you talking about?" She shot back
"C'mon Veronica you know it'll be the biggest event of the year, especially with Celeste orchestrating it and all?" His normally dark eyes had lightened considerably with his venomous words, and Veronica struggled to really decipher what he was angry at.
"Celeste? Logan you've really taken talking in codes to another level, Alias be damned. Wait does this have something to do with Duncan being home?" Things began to click in her head.
"Well you know, Veronica, I've been told that 'True love stories never have endings.'" He saw her lips form an O in understanding, and it enticed him to continue with furor. "Or more accurately read on your mirror the entire time we'd been dating, I had originally thought that it was some cute kind of fortune you picked up with your Dad while eating Chinese and were just keeping it as possibly a reminder of us, but, alas, I was wrong in believing you've ever felt anything real for me. Not when Duncan was spouting off the same crap just yesterday when he visited" He struggled to keep his composure he hadn't felt this kind of frustration with her in a long, long time, and was so mad at himself to let her see the affect she still had on him, still controlled his heart with.
"Logan, that's just rich, this coming from you, the guy, "Who.Broke.Up.With.Me". She poked at his chest for emphasis. "Or did you forget about that. I can't believe that all it took was for Duncan to be in town again for you to even acknowledge that I am of the female persuasion. Was that all I was to you, a trophy, proof that you beat Duncan, that you got the girl in the end? Well you let her go." She bit her lip to keep herself from revealing any more. He wasn't going to best her like this, she'd be dammed if she was going to admit her feelings for him like this. She was so mad at her self for still having feelings for him.
"So you're just going to run back to Duncan then." He was stilling now, his voice quieter now seeing the hurt that flashed across her face.
"Logan, you don't get to do this, you don't get to have me comfort you about meaning more to me than Duncan. You lost that right two years ago. You've been dating Jenny for 8 month now, what the hell is this? I have not once ever been this nasty to you. It's so unfair, I know I messed up never telling you how I really felt, not being able to trust you fully and it's hard to watch your ex fall in love with someone else." She paused to gain composure and continued quietly and stead. "But what right do you have to question me now? I really thought we were passed all this. I don't understand it's just so cruel to do this to me." Tears were forming in her eyes, her voice started to waver.
"Veronica, how did you really feel?" Logan couldn't help himself but choke the words out; he had always believed in her, in them, he just never really received the right confirmation from her. He wasn't sure why he was craving it so much right now.
"Logan, I can't open that up again, that wound has never healed completely, and I just can't go there now." Her eyes pleaded with him to let it drop. She was hurting and well Logan never could stand to see her weak like this. She was Veronica Mars after all.
"Okay, okay… just, are you still in love with Duncan?" He dropped all venom from his voice hoping she'd answer him honestly.
"No, God, no, I haven't been in love with Duncan since sophomore year of High School." She replied honestly.
"Your getting old there babe, you and Duncan went out in senior year." He sounded harsher than he wanted to.
"I know. I was just never in love with him then." She looked away from him then.
"Veronica, I saw you guys right here last night. I was coming to tell you that he was in, but with his lips all over you, I figured you knew." He spat again, so mad at himself for losing control.
"Well then apparently you missed me hastily pushing him away. Telling him in no uncertain terms that he and I were over. That what we had was a fairy tale and I didn't love him like he though I did. That I only …never mind." She was at her wits end, she was ready to taser the boy at this point. How dare he give her this much grief.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I just. I don't know why I get like this with you and him. You're right you have been nothing but a good friend to me lately, probably the best even, and you didn't deserve this. I guess… well I guess haven't seeing Duncan in three years, and seeing him today brought me right back to who I was then. Can you forget how I acted tonight?" He smiled meekly at her letting the newer non abrasive friend-to-all Logan slip back into place.
She smiled brightly at him noticing the change and nodded, she could live with that. She owed him that. "Goodnight, Logan"
"Hey listen real quick, I was thinking of having a small party on Thanksgiving night Duncan, you, Dick, Mac, Wallace and his new girl, Parker, even Piz I guess and Jenny."
"Sound nice, I'll see what my Dad has planned for him and me and get back to you okay?"
"Okay. Good Night V" He turned to walk down the steps.
Her face fell a little. Not happy with his casual choice of nickname for her.
"Night." She slipped into the door closed it, than leaned the whole weight of her body against it. Logan Echolls would be the death of her.
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Logan entered his beach house. He saw Dick and Duncan playing with the PS3, Mac was lying across Dick's lap and after waving at them all he walked towards his bedroom to change and call Jenny. As he passed the guest room and spied young Lilly sleeping there, he walked in and watched her for a moment. Thoughts flew through his head and he was extremely sad for this child. A beautiful and kind mother she would never know, a vibrant life-loving aunt that she would only know through stories and a few videos here-and-there. Fortunately, she mostly looked like a miniature Meg and he was happy that there would be a reminder to all who loved and knew Meg every time they looked at her. He hoped she'd have some Lilly in her although maybe it would be best if her value code of contact would be more of her Mother standards, maybe he would get to have a hand in that. Duncan came in behind him and sighed loudly breaking him out of his thoughts.
"What's up?" He turned to his friend.
"Hey thanks for letting us stay here; I know what a real pain in the butt this could be. I just really rather stay and build a life in Neptune for Lilly and I rather not move to Napa with my parents."
"No problem, this place is a little lonely now that Dick moved in with Mac this semester."
"So that's a little weird, Dick all serious about a girl, that girl in particular." Duncan gestured towards the living room.
"It is but its good that they've been able to move past everything, and in the same beat be the only two that are able to comfort a part in each other that no one else could." Logan pondered this for a moment and then turned to his oldest friend and asked. "Neptune is tragic man, are you sure you want to build a life for Lilly here?"
Duncan nodded at him. "I actually want to prove that there's something worth being here. We loved it here as kids, and look at you guys now; you've all kind of taken what was bad in your family and formed this great bond and a quasi family of your own. I want to be a part of that."
"Well we are glad to have you." He answered honestly.
"So when do I get to meet this girl of yours?" Logan almost joked that he already knew his girl small-blond-curious, but then thought better of it.
"Very soon, which remind me, I wanted to run something by everyone. Dick, Mac, what do you guys think about a party late on Thanksgiving just small, the Neptune gang, plus Jenny, Parker, Putz, and Wallace's new gal.
"Sounds good dude." Dick answered not really paying attention.
"I'm in, did you talk to V?" Mac answered.
"Yeah she's checking what her Dad's plans are. And I just talked to Wallace on the way over he's in." Actually Wallace had called to yell at him for his earlier conversation with Veronica. Apparently he had been waiting for her on the other side of the door and heard everything. Although he and Wallace had developed a friendship on their own, their own personal first loyalty was to Veronica.
"So V's probably in too since, the Fennels and Mars are doing Thanksgiving together." Mac offered confused that she was the only one to pick this up.
"Why don't they all move in together all ready?" Dick asked.
"Well Alicia and Keith have only been back together a year now, so who knows maybe soon?" Logan offered.
"It's still weird though that V and Wallace never dated, don't you think? It's like they knew that they were going to be brother and sister some day." Dick continued speculating as he was still enraptured with his video game.
"Well apparently Veronica is stuck on some guy, maybe its Wallace." Duncan supplied.
"What the hell do you mean?" Logan spit out the jealous beast roared his head. Fortunately it didn't seem most people noticed. Except for Mac, who raised her eyebrow...
"Yeah, last night I kind of ran over there hoping to, well I was hoping to give it another try, but she effectively shut me down, something about being in love with someone. Is she even dating anyone?"
This time it was Dick who glanced quickly at Logan before answering.
"Piz was the last semi-serious relationship she had and that ended what last fall." He looked to his girlfriend for confirmation and she nodded at him.
"Well is it him?" Duncan asked eager to find out who he had to compete against.
Logan, Mac, and Dick all simultaneously answered "No."
"Wait she said she was in love with someone?" Logan spat out
"Yes, she had said that she couldn't go back there with me, that she believed that we've both changed as people, I only want this fairy tail version that she isn't anywhere close to being anymore. I told her that we could start over, that we could get to know each other again, that both of us had changed. But she said she's only been in love with one guy for awhile now, and she joked something about it being Epic, and unfortunately there isn't any room in her heart to move on." Duncan was exasperated.
Mac threw Logan another look. Logan's expression had changed considerable since the word Epic, and she watched him fight off a smile that was edging to his lips.
"And you're okay with that?" Logan asked.
"Well, yeah as good as can be. I mean I've been so focused on getting home, getting back to her ,that I never even really realized what I wanted how I might have changed, and I thought about how even before I left things weren't the greatest, I hadn't really felt the same. But wait you've guys have been with her non-stop for three years, and don't know who this guy is?"
"Not a clue, do we Logan?" Dick smirked.
"No she's full of surprises, that one." Logan laughed out a sigh of relief, he felt remarkable lighter.
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"You guys need to re-evaluate your whole concept of friendship I've been home three days and know more about her current love life. I hope Wallace has more of a clue."
"So Jenny couldn't make it?"
"Actually we kind of ended things yesterday, I just haven't mentioned it. We were drifting apart for a while now, and I figured, why keep lying to each other?"
"Wow would Lilly ever be pissed at the three of us. All moody and depressed. She'd definitely say something about life being short, and to start living."
"Your sister definitely would, especially us, especially now that she's gone, if she's up there or around haunting us, she'd be pissed at our lack of life."
"Have you forgiven her?"
"Yeah, mostly, I try to remember the good in her, and not dwell on her and my Dad. I won't ever understand it, I mean I understand her zest for men, I even understand her and Weevil, just my Dad, she knew what he did to me. All the pain, if I don't think about that, yeah she's forgiven."
"Yeah when I saw those tapes, I couldn't believe it either; it was like I was watching someone else."
"Yeah I like to believe that he ulterior motive was to ruin him for me. That maybe she realized we wouldn't end up together, but in trying to expose him as a bastard she would have help me beat him, or have something to hang over his head so he'd stop."
"Hey boy's this corner looks a little somber, I know we live in Neptune, but nothing bad happened in years now; except for Lamb being re-elected again."
"Well we were just reminiscing about the good stuff, my dad, Lilly, my dad and Lilly."
"Well that's so cheery what brought on such warm and fuzzies thoughts."
"We were discussing our lack of love lives, and how Lilly would have jumped down our throats for not living life to the fullest."
"Lack of love life, Logan, you and Jenny are..."
"Broken up."
"Oh, sorry."
"Well I vote we turn this party up in honor of my sister and have everyone involved with a game of 'I Never'."
"That's so high school I love it… to Lilly". Veronica raised her bottle.
So who's going first?
"Mac is." Dick offered
"Fine this is easy, I've never French kissed a girl, all the guys' clinked bottles, and took a chug."
"Veronica, you too." Duncan offered Logan smirked next to him.
"Lilly didn't use tongue. Dick your up."
"I've never" he looked at his girlfriend "learned binary code."
Mac glared at her boyfriend and drank alone.
Wallace was next and he had a shit-eating grin on his face. 'Well I've never, I've never been in love with Veronica Mars."
Duncan and Logan toasted towards each other and knocked backed their drinks. Piz took a small sip of his. Dick picked up his and made a kissing face at veronica "Syke".
Veronica punched Wallace on the shoulder.
"Fennel you're going down." Veronica chirped. "I've never walked in on my Mother and her boyfriend having sex." She winked at her BFF.
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Veronica opened her eyes, she vaguely remembers falling asleep on the love seat, and now she was sleeping in a bed, Logan's bed, alone fully dressed. It felt cool next to her and she was angry at herself for feeling a little disappointed. Sitting up she turned and saw 10:30 glaring back at her from his night table. She gets out of the bed walked towards the family room where she heard the hum of the TV.
"Hey you're up, sleepyhead." Logan said from his spot on the couch. "There's coffee in the kitchen, and pancakes."
"Yummy!" She walked down the hall and in a few minutes took a seat next to him with her plate piled high with pancakes.
"Why did I wake up in your bed?" She asked nervously
"Don't worry" he waggled his eyebrows, "what I didn't already take of your virtue while we were dating is still intact. Last night you zonked out on the couch while the party was still going strong. I brought you in there before anyone DuncancoughPiz got any ideas"
"Thanks, boy was I drunk, Wallace is so dead, and he turned the game into who can get Veronica the drunkest. And where did you sleep then?"
"Yeah he did, but I think you needed it, you were so happy last night. And after everyone left I slept here." He patted the couch.
"Why did I not wake up with a bigger hangover?"
"Wallace fed you some sort of antidote that he claimed would work. He said if he didn't you'd really kill him. Apparently it did."
"Ah yes the ancient secrets of the Fennel clan."
"Well, since I'm still here, let me help you clean up." She gestured to the entire apartment. Ashamed of herself for wanting an excuse to be alone with him.
"Well the..." Logan stopped short, he was about to joke about his wealth and the fact that he has a cleaning lady on retainer, but he stopped. He realized she knew all this, and he was suddenly curios where this was going to go. He felt his heart swell with anticipation. Veronica was looking at him weird now as he stopped in the middle of a sentence. "Sorry I forgot what I was going to say, but wouldn't you rather be out shopping, it is the second busiest day of the year."
"Hmm yeah no, I've never really been one for black Friday, I buy all my presents the week before Christmas." She took off for his supply closet, and grabbed the cleaning necessities.
It took them a few hours before they were completely finished and it was after 2:00. Veronica was folding some of his clothes for him and singing to herself with the radio
"I really appreciate the help, let me take you out for a late lunch."
"Nah I should get going, I need to shower, and then I was gonna meet my dad for dinner in a couple of hours."
"Alright, just one last thing before you go." He picks up the remote control and points it at his sound system, switching from the song was playing.
"What's that?" she looks up at him and loses her breath at the intensity that he looking back at her with.
'Sway' by the Perisher's begins to play. Veronica goes a little pale.
"Dance with me?" he asks.
"Logan." She sighed. Memories of an awkward dance fill her head. Similar emotions to what she had been feeling then fill her heart.
"Please?" His eyes beg her, and he reaches out his hand. She takes it and circles the other around his neck. Touching him like this was short circuiting her never endings. She was burning up, and yet goose bumps were forming up and down her arms.
"So what happened with you and Jenny?" She choked out, hoping that he wouldn't read into that, hoping that he would.
"Well you see, we just kind of fizzled, my heart wasn't in it, we were just of going through the motions, and I figured that I should probably just get it over with, before things got out of hand." He offered trying to convey without sounding harsh that Jenny was not the woman that he wanted to spend forever with.
"Yeah you don't want that. You've had that." The anguish in Veronica's voice was palpable in the air. He drew her in closer trying to let her feel what she means to him.
"Veronica, that's not." He began, he really didn't know what to say. He wouldn't - no he couldn't give her all the power again, not with out something concrete from her. She cut him off before he could think of what to say.
"Logan, let's not do this, fight. I know now that you didn't. That I was." She was totally misreading everything he realized, her cut her off trying to think of someway to put her on his path.
"Shhh Veronica, that's not what I… look did yesterday when you were with Duncan did you tell him that you were still in love with someone so he'd back off, or was there actual truth in that?" he guided her head up to read her face, hoping she'd see his feeling there.
"It was the truth." She answers honestly.
"And its not Piz?" He lets slips out so unsure of everything.
"God, no." She wonders where this is all coming from, and is startled by the almost pleading quality his voice has taken on.
"Say it Veronica," His face is full of uncertainty, and… is that longing?
"Logan," She wants to ask why, what is going on, but is stopped short with his plea.
"Please." And some understanding fills her. They have always been a study in give and take, of saving each other, and she realizes that right now he is pleading for some sort of confirmation of what they were, and before she even realizes it she's confessing.
"Logan, I love you, and I don't know what good it will do now, but I do, I have for a long, long time, and I'm sorry, so sorry that I couldn't really verbalize it or show it before."
Without hesitation Logan bends his head and gently puts his lips on hers, he feels her tense, and then realize and relax into it. He slowly pulls back and meets his forehead to hers.
"Veronica Mars I love you, please be mine." he graces her cheek with his knuckles waiting for her answer.
She nods back at him. "I'm so sorry Logan for not being able to do this before, for wasting." She looks away unable to continue
Logan shakes his head and frames her face with his hands forcing her to see him.
"Shh its okay, Veronica, please don't cry." He wipes her eyes gently with his thumbs. "These last two years have been extremely important. The way I see it is we've actually become friends. You finally view me as someone that you can trust, and that's something that we might not have ever been able to do if we didn't break up. It has been time well spent. And the fact that we've been silently in love with one another through all this, well, it leaves me speechless with wonder and awe, and really my heart is bursting its so full right now."
"You. Are. Such. A. Girl." She punctuates each word with a kiss, and he laughs with her.