(A/N: i do not own this poem( this is my second Fanfic and I have taken over for i-bit-a-pillow-or-two she already has readers and I hope I will be able to do what she has with this story. I have made some changes. Now if you like it let me know and if there is a problem please let me know I cant fix it if you don't tell me.)

BPOV

My name is Bella

I am thee,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my daddy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else i'm locked up

All day long.

When i'm awake i'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my daddy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe ill just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says it's my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it's now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Bella

I am thee,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

Closing my journal and putting it under my bead. I couldn't help but think of everything that has happened to me. Everything I write in my journal is about my life. The poem that I just wrote was now, Plain and simple for you. I lived with my mom until I was ten. I had to move in with my dad when my mother went missing without a trace. I came home from school and she was nowhere to be found. Ever sense that day I've been abused, beaten, and neglected by my dad, Charlie. The reasons behind his brutal actions are far beyond me. Maybe it could be that he misses my mom, or that he hates the fact that he is stuck with me, whatever his reasons it doesn't matter really in my eyes he is still a monster.

I looked back at the poem I had written earlier; basically everything in my poem was true, besides Charlie murdering me. That was my worst fear; if Charlie goes too far would he kill his only daughter? It was possible that he didn't think of me as his. No matter how long I deal with this pain I hate the fact that he makes me cry. A loud and painful sob broke through my thin lips. I silently cursed to myself for being weak. Charlie hates when I cry I should know better than to cry out. Only seconds later I heard the footsteps of Charlie walking up to my incredibly small room in the attic. I ran to my door and locked it, I slid down, my ribs were in excruciating pain. But I should have known it would only anger him more. Was it not enough that he beat me and called me horrid names already, but no he comes back for more.

Furious pounding shook my old, wooden door. I squeezed my eyes really tight and sucked in a sharp breath. I prayed that he would just go away. That he would just let me be.

"BELLA! WERE'S MY DINNER??!!" screamed Charlie through the door. A long shudder ripped through me. His dinner! I totally forgot! I scrambled to my feet and unlocked the door, waiting for the slap across the face.

"HURRY! I'M HUNGRY! DON'T MAKE ME WAIT!" he bellowed, I quickly nodded and ran down the creaking staircase. He had spared me the harsh pain of his hand meeting my face; a first. I ignored the sharp pains shooting through my side. They would have to wait until after Charlie fell asleep. I just had to go on a little while longer.

I made it downstairs in record time. I pulled out a frying pan and some beef and started Charlie's dinner. Charlie's favorite meal was tacos, which was a relief, they were fast and easy. I tried to ignore the pain that was shooting through my body. Within fifteen minutes I had Charlie's dinner on the table and him eating. The smell of the Mexican seasoning and the beef teased my senses; I haven't eaten in two and a half days, Charlie wouldn't allow it. I think its because he wants to see if I will die of starvation .I heard my stomach growl at the thought of eating; Charlie heard it and looked up.

"Bella? I'm so sorry, are you hungry?" he had an evil glint in his eyes, like he enjoyed causing me pain and grief. I gulped and nodded my head slightly. "Oh," he looked down at his four tacos and looked back at me, "WELL TO BAD!" he screamed at me and threw his cup at me- which still had beer in it. The cup hit right between my eyes and I fell to the ground, seeing black splotches. Charlie got out of his chair and stepped on my fingers as her walked into the living room to watch TV. I lay on the ground whimpering, what had I done to deserve this? What wrong had I done to cause me this punishment? How does he not have a heart. I don't understand why he hates me so much what could it be that makes him strike me?

"Stupid, idiotic beast! What does she think, I'm made of money?" I heard him mumble. It was no use thinking of him as my daddy cause he would never be.

My eyes pricked with unshed tears, if they fell in front of Charlie he would beat me again- my body wasn't ready for that, not yet at least. I hoped I could get away without another beating tonight, maybe I will be lucky.

"Well! What are you doing still lying on the floor? Get to dishes done, do you really expect me to do them myself??" I whimpered and tried to stand up, my head was in pain and I felt a trickle of blood run down my nose and onto my lip. The smell of salt and rust filled my nostrils and I felt nauseated. The pit of my stomach twisted as my body tried to empty my stomach- to bad there was nothing in my stomach to come up. I ended up dry heaving for fifteen minutes. My small frame shaking causing me more pain from my broken body. Charlie didn't even bother to come and check on me, and I didn't expecting him to, the only time he pays me any attention was when he was beating me. The only time he even thinks of me is when he needs to eat or when he needs more beer.

I made my way to do the dishes, my mind was in its own little world, I dreamed of being loved and being wanted. My little world inside my head held no place for Charlie or anybody else that was as cruel or as evil as he, my world was a world of love and want. My mother was in my world, I missed her so incredibly much, and she was the only person to ever show any amount of love and affection to me. She was the only person in my world of hate and pain that truly loved me.

My Journal held most of my fantasy of a life I had always dreamed about. I never had to worry about beating or dinners not being done. I could just be me before my mother disappeared. A single tear fell into the soapy sink, I sniffled and finished the dishes. I went upstairs for my journal hoping if I kept reminding myself that there was another way of life that I could get through the rest.

~~~~XxX~~~~

Just the beginning

Never an end

Always pain and regret

With no love and kindness

His eyes black as night

Cold and hard

With no love or affection

what does he see

with those hard ugly eyes

Does he see the tiny girl that he once loved

Or a battered girl with broken bones

Just the beginning

Never an end

The pain

The sorrow

The moment in time when

I pray for god to take me

Will he

No

Will he

No

Just the beginning

Never an end

With forever tears

When will the suffering end……

XXxxXX

I woke up to the sound of thunder cracking in the angry sky. My head hurt like hell and I was so tired, I had stayed up until midnight trying to fix my head so that it didn't look so bad. I tried to move my fingers but they screamed with pain. I closed my eyes again- Charlie had broken them when he stepped on them last night. Another tear spilled from my eye. I begged god to give me what I have always dreamed of, but knew he never would. I had said my silent goodbyes to my happiness. All that was left for me was misery.

I got up, undressed, grabbing my toiletry bag and hopping in the shower. The hot water felt so good running over my two broken ribs. I washed my hair and body with soap-Charlie's. I got out and wrapped myself in a towel and walked back upstairs to my small room. I picked out some jeans and a t-shirt with a black hoodie. I sat on my bed and looked around, hopefully so day soon I could say goodbye to it all. Yea that was wishful thinking. Charlie would never let that happen. I slipped into my sneakers and headed out the door. And no, I don't get any breakfast. I never do.

(A/N; so that's that like I said I just added a tiny bit in there but as soon as you hit chapter five that is all me so let me know what you think.)