Hey guys! This is a short one-shot I wrote for fma_fic_contest over on Livejournal. The prompt was "lies".

The fic takes place sometime between chapters 56-81 in the manga.

Please read and review! :)

Greed frowned at the seemingly endless stretch of pipes that snaked along the walls. He had been stuck in this underground hellhole for weeks, and to be quite frank, he was sick of it. What was he supposed to claim down here, anyway? The rat carcasses? He was Greed, dammit! He should be surrounded by cute girls and lots of booze! Not to mention loyal bodyguards and piles of money. So why was he being forced to slink in the shadows like fuckin' Pride? Maybe he should just-

"You know," an obnoxiously familiar voice piped up, interrupting Greed's train of bitter thought, "you could just leave."

"Shut up, brat," Greed snarled. Why did the kid feel the need to do that? Usually Greed kept him well under control, but today… well, today Greed supposed he was feeling a little distracted. Stupid human probably noticed and jumped through the little proverbial window of opportunity just to annoy him.

"But why not?" The prince brat whined. "Come on, we could just walk away! No one would know the difference. Then we could go back to Xing and-"

"Will you stop talking about your dumb little country?" He really wasn't in the mood to argue with this cocky-ass kid. It seemed like every time the kid started talking, he was plotting their escape route to his country. He had already tried and failed to convince Greed to leave for Xing about a dozen times, but Greed had always waved him off.

"It is not little!" the pubescent human said indignantly. "It is the second largest country in the world!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever kid."

"My name is Ling Yao, not 'kid'. You should not address the future emperor of Xing like that!"

"I'll call you whatever the hell I want."

Ling huffed. "You are as stubborn as you are greedy."

Greed ignored him. Maybe then he would stop talking

"So tell me," Ling started in a light, conversational tone. "Why do you not want to leave?"

Well. There went that plan. Whatever. At least talking to the brat would kill some time.

"Of course I want to leave, dumbass. I just can't."

"But why not? Do you actually enjoy sitting around, doing absolutely nothing useful?"

Greed twitched. Damn kid. "Hell, no!"

"Then come on! Let us leave this country, my greedy friend! We can-"

"First of all," Greed cut in, "I'm not leaving the country. Second of all, I'm not your friend."

"You're going to hurt my feelings if you're not careful."

Greed smirked. This prince was something else.

"Alright, then you can be my minion."

"If anyone is going to be the minion here, it shall be you! I am the twelfth-"

"-prince of Xing," Greed finished. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You've only told me a hundred thousand times."

"You are just jealous that I am heir to a throne while you are only a fake human."

Greed chuckled. "You mean I'm a better human, brat. I don't really die, remember?"

"Yes, and this is why we must make haste to Xing so that I- er, we, can claim the throne for the Yao clan."

"Tough apples, kid. We're stuck here."

"What would happen if we left? Are you fearful that your "Father" would be angry and- how do you say?- ground you?"

Greed let out a shout of laughter. "He'd do a lot worse than ground me. He'd fuckin' have me killed. I mean, not a whole lot can kill me, but he'd be able to, no problem. And how am I supposed to rule the world if I'm dead?"

"You make an exceptional point, homunculus. But what if we were to sneak away and-"

"Don't be so naïve. They'd find me."

"But isn't your "Father" stuck down here as well?"

"Yeah, but my siblings are all fuckin' suck-ups. He'd send them after me, and then they'd find me."

"We could take them on! I believe in you! Now let's go!"

"Ah… I could take on one or two of them, but he might send them all after me. Then I'd be screwed."

"You are not only greedy and stubborn- you are lazy as well," the prince pouted. "If we come across such a problem, then just let me take over. I have dealt with you monsters before. I would be more than happy to kill your siblings for you."

Greed laughed. "Tell ya what, kid. You've just been promoted to my apprentice."

"I am flattered. But how do I know you are being serious, greedy one?"

Greed grinned. "Hey, it's my policy, kid. I never lie."

"How noble of you," Ling said, taking on a clearly sarcastic tone. "You say I am your apprentice, yet you will not listen to me."

"It's the other way around, smart one. The apprentice is supposed to listen to his master."

"Yes, but there is a certain amount of respect between master and apprentice," the prince argued.

"Hey, I respect you. I mean, you're not bad for a smart-ass little human."

Ling snorted. "I do not believe you."

Greed shrugged. If the kid didn't want to believe him, he didn't have to. But Greed, as always, had been honest. At least, he knew he respected the kid in some sense. In a way, they had a lot in common. They both wanted power and esteem, riches and acknowledgement. Perhaps, one day, he would even be able to accept the brat as a comrade. But for now, Greed would be undeniably lying if he said he was ready for that.