On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me
"Cat, I love you so much." Beck said squeezing me tighter to him.
"I love you too."
We walked hand in hand down the street until we got to my house where we sat on the steps to my house and I snuggled into his arms.
I slowly shut my eyes.
In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
I felt the first drop of the spring showers fall on to my head. I giggled and looked up at Beck.
We stared at each other for a while before I whispered, "forever."
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us
Suddenly, a noise sprang, wakening me from my dreams.
I suddenly looked down and noticed how soaking wet I was.
I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers
I went to school the next day, sniffly from being in the Rain all night.
I sat in Physcowitz's class not noticing anyone in class, except Beck, sitting there laughing and holding Jade's hand.
Wait till nighttime and he will be mine again, I thought imagining what I would dream of me and Beck tonight.
I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known
At lunch I sat next to Tori, not speaking, just observing the movements of my friends.
"Hey Cat, can I talk to you for a minute?" I heard him say from behind me.
My heart sped up, "sure."
We walked away from the table.
"So, I need to ask you something." he said taking a deep breath.
"What?" I said hoping I didn't sound anxious.
"well, uhm..." he fidgeted.
I smiled at him.
"Could you do my project for Science?"
My head snapped up, "what?"
"Jade got us tickets for our favorite band tonight and I really want to go, but I can't fail this project."
"Oh sure..." I said...disappointed.
"Oh thanks Cat you're the best!" he said hugging me quickly then running away."
I sat on the bench allowing tears to pour out of my eyes.
I love him
I love him
That night I sat on a park bench, 12:30 a.m.
"Cat, you're the best! I love you." Beck said engulfing me in a hug.
No cat, Beck is not here, Beck does not love you. I thought to myself, before wiping my tears and walking home.
I love him
But only on my own