Just to let you all know, I'm new to this archive so please be nice. :)
Before we begin, let me warn you that this does have spoilers for the Batman Arkham Knight game so if you haven't finished it then I suggest that you wait to read this until you do.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places, etc. in Batman: Arkham Knight. It all belongs to their respectful owners.
Why?
Jason stared down at the red mask in his hands, once again pondering over why he had given up the revenge that he had so desperately sought for years. The rain that was beating outside the broken window didn't help to clear his thoughts.
What changed?
His thoughts were immediately drawn back to the fight that ensued between him and Batman- no Bruce- the man had clearly acted like the father-figure that he had known when he was younger. The man had been trying to protect him, like always…
Anger filled him when he thought of that.
Where were you then Bruce when I was tortured!?
The J mark that was forever imprinted on his face was a painful reminder each day of what he had been through. He had been lucky enough to escape that torture, even if by just barely.
It nearly killed me, but it didn't…
He had once asked the Joker why he didn't just kill him already. Jason now thought he knew the reason. Besides the man being a madman with no reason, he also enjoyed others pain.
Kind of like me… The thought rose unbidden in his mind and he flinched, taking deep breaths to try and calm down. No! I-I'm different; I do what's right…
It took a few minutes, but his breathing didn't sound like he was swallowing glass anymore, and he tried to focus on his original thought. Even though he couldn't see Bruce's expression through the mask, he knew what it would be. One of love and maybe even some regret…
Maybe that's the reason…
His anger quickly dissipated, like it had so many of the other days he had tried to find a reason. Each day presented a new reason but there was one he kept coming back to, when he thought of the way things used to be.
I was so excited to be Robin that I didn't see the risks clearly… It was all some kind of game I guess. There is one thing that I do miss though…
The familiar ache was back in his chest as he thought of his 'family'. Not his biological one, the ones that had cared for him all those years. They hadn't cared about what he had done or where he came from, the only thing they gave him was love. His thoughts were drawn to something that his 'brother' had told him once.
*Flashback*
"You know that being Robin is a big responsibility, right?" Dick asked, and Jason knew that there would always be a bit of pain when he mentioned his former vigilante name. After all, it wasn't Jason's to begin with, it was Dick's and Jason still felt a bit of grief go through him sometimes when he thought about it.
"Yep." He chirped looking over at his brother with a smile. "But you know, I'm going to be better than you someday." Jason bragged, even though he knew it was a long shot.
Dick was the 'golden boy' as Jason often joked with him, the one who set the standards so high that sometimes Jason wondered if anyone could ever beat them.
Except Batman, he can do anything.
His brother only laughed at this before shuffling Jason's hair, making the younger boy let out an indignant noise at the treatment.
"I bet you will." The manor's rooftop was where the two brothers often met to talk, with Dick being uncomfortable about going in the manor when Bruce was there. Something about a fight although Jason never had the nerve to ask his brother, not wanting to cause him unnecessary pain.
"So… have you found a place to patrol yet?" Jason asked, biting his lip a bit in nervousness. He looked down at the ground stories below them, and he knew that Dick was studying him before answering.
"I've been looking at a few places… any reason why?" Jason shrugged, biting his lip harder to keep out his feelings. He hadn't wanted his brother to leave and if he found a new place to patrol…
He might not come back this time…
"Anything close?" He finally asked and Dick laughed again before ruffling Jason's hair for the second time that night.
"No need to worry buddy. I won't go far." Jason looked up at Dick when he said this, smiling.
"You promise you'll come visit?" His brother didn't hesitate before answering.
"Of course." There was once a time when the brothers weren't as close, leading to squabbles between the two when Bruce had 'replaced' Dick and given away the Robin mantle. Jason knew that this was part of the 'fight' since Dick had told him a while ago but other than that, he couldn't understand how he could just leave like he did.
It must have been bad…
"Your family would be proud." Jason started at this, not expecting what Dick had said. He shifted a bit in his spot, biting his lip harder drawing a bit of blood.
"Yeah… well… I don't really care. They didn't seem to with the way they were…" He trailed off at this, feeling bitterness hit him again when he thought of his biological family. He felt hands on his shoulders, turning him and he looked up at his brother, concern in the older man's eyes.
"Don't say that. They might not have been good at showing it, but they still loved you. No parent can't love their own child." Jason was pulled in for a hug, another thing that Dick constantly gave him and something that he had lacked until being adopted. He was surprised to feel his face wet, not remembering having any tears. They stayed like that for a few moments before Dick gently moved him away.
"There, better?" He asked and Jason nodded feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. Some of the reactions his brother seemed to get out of him always made him embarrassed later. Confusion hit him when Dick stood up, as if preparing to leave.
"Where are you going?" He asked, not quite sure what to think. Sure it was dark but he didn't have to leave yet, did he?
"I have to go patrol," His brother started before leaning down and bopping Jason on the nose. "And so do you, remember?" Dick smiled down at him and Jason couldn't help the excitement that hit him when he thought of going out on patrol again. He nodded, before feeling sad that his brother had to leave again.
"You could stay and go with us. I'm sure Bruce wouldn't mind…" and I sure wouldn't… He suggested, feeling disappoint enter him when Dick shook his head.
"Sorry but I have to go check in on the place I've been scoping, remember?" Jason got to his feet at this, preparing to go back inside. He was stopped when a hand landed on his shoulder. He turned to stare back at Dick, curious on what his brother was going to say.
"You know, family isn't just related by blood. Just like there was your biological family, we're also your family." Dick leaned down to give him one last hug before leaving after finishing what he wanted to say. "No matter what you do, you can't erase that. We're family and we'll always be here when you need us."
*End Flashback*
Jason threw his helmet away from him and towards the wall, not caring if it got broken again. He could always fix it, he made it after all. His breathing was coming in ragged gasps and he knew that tears would soon follow if he didn't calm himself down. Thunder sounded and he felt the pain again, closing around him.
Loneliness: that must be what this is…
He hadn't felt this in a while, making him wonder if he was so consumed by his hatred and revenge that he didn't feel anything but those emotions that were connected to it. He felt like he couldn't breathe for a second so he abandoned the chair and instead laid against the ground, the cold seeping into him making him realize where he was, making the suffocation go away. Once he had calmed down a bit, he leaned up against the wall, water from the broken window leaking down onto his head.
That can't be it, can it? Something as little as 'family'?
He had many reasons on why he thought he had abandoned his revenge but this one always came back each time, making it seem more and more likely that that was the cause. He stared over at the discarded helmet and then back out into the night sky.
Maybe I could…
He quickly grabbed the helmet and fit it back on his face, before perching on the window, avoiding the area with glass. He stared out into the rain, deciding that it might be the best course of action right now.
Maybe Dick can help…
He left, knowing now that his brother would talk to him. It might come as a big shock if Bruce hadn't already told him, but Jason needed to talk to someone, to the one person who had always seemed to understand him.
So I always thought about why Jason just decided to abandon his revenge in a matter of what… minutes… hours? So this came up and I decided to write it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he did because I've been wanting Red Hood in the Arkham games for a while now I just feel like there should have been a reason other than, 'this would make a good story point' (no offense to the original Arkham game writers). I'm just naturally curious about these things. Hopefully we'll get more in the form of a DLC (I know there's already the Red Hood DLC that you got if you preordered from GameStop but I feel like there should be more) that details maybe before or even after for Jason. I hope you all have a great day! Feel free to let me know what you thought in a review!
-AnimeWolfGirl16