So, this is kind of my challenge to myself. I'm writing one fanfiction for each episode of Merlin. Some are one-shots, some are longer stories. I ran out of ideas for fanfictions so this is how I'm dealing with that. If anyone has any prompts for me, feel free to leave it in a review and if I write it after I finish writing these 65 stories, I'll dedicate it to you… so, thanks. And I give you Season 1 Episode 3.
Summary: This takes place when Merlin is trying to convince Uther he is a sorcerer so he would let Gwen go. What will happen when Merlin makes a shocking realization? What will he do? Gwen/ Merlin. One-Shot.
Story 3: He's in Love
"He's in love… with Gwen," Arthur stated nonchalantly.
Merlin felt the heat flood to his cheeks. The first emotion that registered with him was outrage. In love with Gwen? That's impossible. He couldn't believe Arthur's nerve in drawing such a ridiculous conclusion. "I am not in love with her," he insisted. He wondered if his words sounded false to anyone else. He didn't know why they sounded so wrong. He didn't have feelings for Gwen. She was just a friend, the only true friend he had in Camelot. If Arthur's eye-role and the amused looks the council was giving him were any indication, no one believed his words.
"I saw you yesterday with the flower she had given you," Arthur said in his most arrogant voice. Merlin glared at him, wishing that something would hit Arthur over the head and knock some sense into him.
"I am not in love with Gwen!" Merlin repeated angrily. He reminded himself that he had to keep his temper in check. He was before the king and the council. But it was difficult. He was furious with Arthur. The nerve of him, making these outrageous suggestions. It was one thing for Arthur to accuse him of having a mental affliction – Merlin played that role perfectly – but he did not have feelings for Gwen. He could hear several members of the council chuckling, which only served to anger him more. It wasn't fair.
"Look at me honestly and tell me you don't have feelings for her," Arthur told him sternly.
Merlin looked at him, entirely prepared to do this, entirely prepared to take Gwen's place in the fire, but something in Arthur's expression stopped him. Merlin didn't know what it was, but something made him stop and think. He thought about why he was so willing to do this. It wasn't about his guilt, even though there was plenty of that to go around. It wasn't about his reluctance to let someone die for his own crime. It wasn't even about his friendship with Gwen.
When he thought of Gwen dying, all he could think about was the terror and pain that would twist her features. He thought about the pain that would consume her last moments, making every second feel like an entire lifetime. He couldn't bear the thought of Gwen ever looking like that. Gwen with her kind smile and trusting eyes. Gwen, who had a tendency to ramble, but who also knew when to be silent and listen. Gwen who was the best friend Merlin had made since coming to Camelot. "I do love her," Merlin realized quietly. He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but somehow his mind disconnected from his mouth.
He saw Arthur stare at him shocked. He guessed Arthur hadn't expected him to actually admit it. That made two of them. Merlin heard the scattered whispers through the council room and knew that he had no chance of convincing them that Gwen was innocent.
Without waiting to be dismissed, Merlin left and went back to his chambers. He started to pace. What was he going to do? The only thing he could do was get Gwen to safety. But then she would always be on the run. Leaving would be proof of her guilt and he didn't want that either. That was a last resort, something he would do when all else failed. He would not see Gwen die, even if it meant barging into the council chambers and making Arthur levitate so everyone would believe he was the sorcerer.
Merlin groaned. There had to be something he could do. Someway he could save her. He kept pacing. Hours passed before he heard a knock on his door. "Come in," he called.
"Are you alright?" He heard Gaius ask as he entered the room. "Merlin... Your room is clean?" Merlin looked around surprised. He knew he had moved stuff around while he was pacing, but he hadn't realized he had actually been putting stuff back in its correct location. That was a sure sign that he wasn't alright, but he didn't want to worry Gaius.
"What can I do Gaius?" Merlin asked him. "I can't let Gwen die for my mistake."
"Merlin, I know this is hard to hear, but…" Gaius hesitated when he saw the broken look on Merlin's face. It wouldn't do any good to crush Merlin's hope. "You have to figure out what is poisoning the water. Perhaps the key to this illness lies in the water source."
"Can we go check? Now?" Merlin asked, looking up at Gaius. He didn't try to hide how raw his emotion was. Gaius was there when Merlin realized his feelings for Gwen. Merlin knew he wouldn't have to explain.
Gaius nodded. He stood up without a word and walked out of Merlin's room. Gaius rifled through a box of odd trinkets until he found what he was looking for: a large silver key.
Gaius and Merlin hurried to the cave where all the water in Camelot came from. When they got there, Merlin couldn't help but look around in amazement. He had never been down here before, very few people had a key to the water source. It wasn't quite what he expected. The walls were a slick brown, covered in spongy material that he didn't recognize. There were many tunnels that someone could get lost in if they didn't know exactly where they were going.
He followed Gaius to the very back of the cave where the dam that held the water was. Gaius handed Merlin an empty vial. Merlin dipped it into the water, waiting for it to be filled before he withdrew his hand. Just as he and Gaius were turning to leave, he heard a roar from the water. He spun around to see a giant creature that looked like it was made out of the slimy rock that made the walls in the cave.
"Gaius, what is that?" Merlin asked anxiously as the creature fell back beneath the water's surface.
Gaius took Merlin's arm and pulled him along. "I don't know, but I am going to find out," Gaius said in a rush. They had to get out of there. Merlin and Gaius hurried from the cave.
When they got out, Merlin turned to Gaius. "What was that thing?" He asked him.
"I'm not sure," Gaius said slowly. While he had been studying to be a physician he had learned about all sorts of plants and animals that could be helpful in curing certain illnesses. He had also learned about how to treat wounds from different animals. It worried him that he didn't recognize the creature. "My guess is a creature of magic. There's only one way to find out for certain."
Merlin followed Gaius back to his chambers. He sat on the bench by the table while Gaius pulled out a large, dusty book. He flipped through the pages, carefully scanning each section, searching for information on the creature.
Almost an hour had passed before either of them spoke. "I found it," Gaius said. "It was an afnac."
"A… a what?" Merlin asked cluelessly.
"An afnac. It's created from clay and conjured by only the most powerful of sorcerers," Gaius explained.
"Does it say how to destroy it?" Merlin asked hopefully.
Gaius shook his head. "The only information is that it is generally created from two elements. Earth and then one of the others: water, air, or fire," Gaius told him.
Merlin sat up straight and looked at Gaius. Perhaps it was because Merlin was so desperate to save Gwen, but his mind seemed to be working overtime. "If the elements are important, is it possible that if it's combatted by the elements it will be defeated?" Merlin asked. He had remembered reading something about that in his spell book. "This creature was clearly forged by water and earth. So will fire and air be its downfall?"
Gaius looked at Merlin shocked. "You never cease to amaze me Merlin," Gaius said proudly. "That very well may work."
Merlin stood up and started to leave. "Where are you going?" Gaius called.
"To Arthur," Merlin told him. Merlin may be a fool at times, but he knew Arthur was his only hope at saving Gwen.
Merlin rushed to Arthur's chambers. He entered without knocking. He saw Morgana sitting at the table, crying, but he couldn't let her distract him. "Gwen is innocent and I can prove it," Merlin said. "We have to go to the water source."
Morgana looked at Merlin hopefully, but Merlin was looking right at Arthur. He looked torn. "Are you sure?" He asked. Merlin knew what Arthur was risking. He would be going behind his father's back to prove Gwen's innocence.
"I'm positive," Merlin told him. He needed Arthur to help him.
Arthur sighed before grabbing his sword. "You better not be wrong about this," Arthur warned.
He left his chambers with Merlin and Morgana hot on his heels. They had to duck into dark corridors several times as they snuck down to the cave. Even the prince of Camelot had restrictions. When they got to the caves, Merlin led the way to the water supply. They hadn't gotten far into the cave before they heard the roar of the creature. Merlin spun around, trying to locate it. "It has to be killed with fire," he warned them.
Making one of many wise decisions, they split up. Because that is always a good thing to do when something bad is lurking about. Merlin and Morgana went one way and Arthur another. Several minutes passed and Merlin and Morgana hadn't found anything. Merlin and Morgana froze when they heard Arthur scream. It wasn't a scared scream, more like a battle cry, as if Arthur was on the losing end of a fight. They shared one frightened look and ran towards the sound of Arthur's scream.
When they found him, he was backed against the wall with nothing but his torch. Morgana ran to his aid, but the beast knocked her back, forcing her to crash to the wall.
"Morgana!" Merlin screamed, worriedly. He could see Arthur glance at her briefly when he dared to take his eyes off the beast. Morgana didn't stir. The only indication that she was alive was the slow rise and fall of her chest. She would need medical attention immediately. Merlin knew they had to kill the creature and fast.
"Your torch Arthur!" Merlin warned. Arthur swung his torch towards the creature. Merlin dropped his voice to a whisper, trying to summon as much power as possible to channel it into his barely audible words. "Lyfte ic be in balwen ac forhienan."
The flames from Arthur's torch entirely engulfed the creature, completely incinerating it. When the fire had kindled out, there was nothing but a pile of earth on the ground. "You did it!" Merlin said. "You killed the beast."
Arthur stared at the remains of the beast for a moment, then looked towards Morgana. "We've got to get her to Gaius," he told Merlin.
Merlin and Arthur carefully picked up Morgana and carried her to Gaius. When they explained what had happened, Gaius gave Merlin explicit instructions about how to care for Morgana and then went back to the water source to collect what he needed to make an antidote for the people that were still suffering from the plague and had not yet died.
A couple of hours later, Gaius returned with Uther. Morgana had just woken up. "Morgana," Uther said worriedly. He rushed to her side.
"My lord," she said weakly.
"I was so worried when Gaius told me you were injured," Uther told her. "He told me about what you did. It was very brave, but you shouldn't have risked yourself like that for a servant."
"Gwen!" Morgana said, sitting up straight. "What's to become of Gwen?"
Uther looked uncomfortable. "When Gaius went down to the water, he found evidence that indicated another sorceress was responsible for this plague," Uther admitted.
"So you are letting her go?" Merlin asked, ignoring etiquette. His question was met with an angry glare from Uther.
"My lord," Morgana said, drawing Uther's attention back to her. "I wish to know the answer to that question as well."
"Yes," Uther said reluctantly. "She will be released."
Morgana stood up. "My lady, you must rest," Gaius urged her.
"I will," Morgana said. "Once I see my maidservant."
Morgana rushed from the chambers. "I… I'll make sure she doesn't hurt herself," Merlin lied. He just wanted an excuse to follow Morgana so he could check in on Gwen.
He followed Morgana down to the dungeons where Gwen was already having a tearful reunion with her father.
Merlin briefly considered leaving Gwen to have her moment with her father, but all thoughts of leaving left when she noticed them. "My lady. Merlin," she said, wiping the tears off of her cheeks. She rushed to Morgana and engulfed her in a hug. "Thank you!"
"Don't thank me," Morgana told her. "It was Merlin."
"Merlin?" Gwen asked surprised. "Really?"
"He's the real hero," Morgana said. She turned slightly and winked at Merlin. "Did you know that he tried to convince Uther that he was the sorcerer so you wouldn't be killed?"
Merlin felt himself flushing. "Really?" Gwen asked, sounding more confused and surprised than before. It took all of Merlin's effort not to shoot Morgana an angry look.
"It was really nothing," Merlin said embarrassed. He wanted nothing more than to be swallowed by the ground.
"I'm grateful to you all," Gwen's father said, giving Merlin and Morgana a warm smile. "Come on Gwen. Let's get you home."
Once they had exited the cell Gwen was being held in, Morgana turned to Merlin. "So are you going to tell Gwen how you feel about her?" Morgana asked him. Merlin briefly debated denying his feelings for Gwen, but he knew Morgana would never believe him. Actions speak louder than words and Merlin's actions had made his feelings quite clear.
"I don't know," Merlin groaned. "I doubt she feels that way about me. And I love being her friend. She's the first person that showed me any kindness in Camelot, other than Gaius."
"Merlin, I'm sure Gwen cares for you a great deal," Morgana told him.
Merlin sighed. "It would probably be better if I just forgot about it and went on being her friend," Merlin told her. And he meant it. He had to see Gwen every day at work. No need to complicate a perfectly lovely friendship.
Morgana tisked, but didn't say anything. This was Merlin's decision and as much as she wanted to, she would not interfere.
It turned out, she didn't have to. The next day, Gwen went to visit Merlin in his chambers. She knocked gently on his door.
"Come in," a sleepy voice called.
Gwen opened the door and blushed at the sight she saw. Merlin was shirtless. "Oh Gwen," Merlin said surprised. Gwen looked at the wall. It was entirely improper for her to stare at a man's naked chest like that. "I thought you would be Gaius… or Arthur." Merlin grabbed a shirt from his end table and messily pulled it on. "What can I help you with?"
"I need the truth from you Merlin," Gwen told him quietly. "Why did you tell Uther you were a sorcerer to save me?"
"I… uh… I knew you were innocent," Merlin told her. That was partially the truth. But Merlin couldn't exactly tell her about his feelings or that he really was a sorcerer.
"Yes," Gwen said slowly. "It's funny, these things you know. You knew my father was better when I hadn't told anyone. And you knew I was innocent when there was all the evidence to support my guilt."
"Um… yeah," Merlin agreed. "Quite the coincidence."
"The strangest thing happened," Gwen said quietly. "I had a dream last night. I dreamt that while I was asleep and my father was sick, someone entered my home and said something that healed my father."
Merlin paled. Gwen was most definitely asleep when he did that. How did she know? Was it possible she subconsciously held onto his words? And they revisited her when she was puzzling over his actions? "That is strange," Merlin agreed, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
"You know you can trust me Merlin," Gwen told him, looking up at him with her wide, chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that radiated warmth and friendship and comfort.
"I do trust you Gwen," Merlin said, his voice cracking slightly.
"Then tell me the truth," Gwen urged him.
"I…" Merlin started. He cut himself off. Was he really going to do this? He loved Gwen, he truly did, but he didn't want to burden her with his secret. There would be a part of her she would never be able to share with anyone else without putting Merlin at risk. Looking at Gwen with her kindness and compassion, he knew the answer. He could trust her. His voice dropped to a whisper and he hung his head. He knew the words to say, but he was having great difficulty finding the will to say them. This wasn't something he usually had to do. The only people that had found out about his magic had directly confronted him about it. But Gwen wasn't even implying that she knew. And Merlin had to explain it in a way that wouldn't frighten her off. "It was me. I healed your father. I have magic. I'm sorry that you were blamed for what I did, but when I saw you so upset over your father's illness, I couldn't help but do something about it."
Gwen walked closer to him and placed her hand on his arm as a sign of comfort. "It's okay Merlin," she said quietly.
Merlin looked up to meet her steady gaze. "You're not mad? Or scared?" Merlin asked her.
"I was last night when I first woke up from my dream," Gwen admitted. "It seemed so real. Not like a dream, but like a memory. When I realized that that was exactly what it was, I wanted to find you and demand answers. But I knew it was too late. I would have to wait until morning. It gave me a lot of time to think. And make my decision."
"And what is your decision?" Merlin asked her quietly.
"What do you think?" Gwen asked him. "You saved my father. And you saved my life." A small smile danced across Gwen's face. "Granted you almost got me killed." Merlin couldn't help but chuckle with her. Gwen hesitated before she looked up at Merlin determinedly. "Why did you do it?"
Merlin looked at her confused. "I told you. I couldn't let you suffer for a crime you didn't commit," he told her.
Gwen shook her head. "Not that," she said. "Why did you save my father?"
Merlin looked at the floor. "I didn't want you to get hurt like that," he admitted. "You're my friend."
Gwen sighed and looked out the window. "We best get started on our duties," she said. Merlin couldn't quite place the tone of her voice. It was almost like she was disappointed.
"Right," Merlin said. He had completely forgotten about his job. "I have to get breakfast for Arthur."
"And I for Morgana," Gwen said.
"Well, might as well head to the kitchens together," Merlin suggested. "It would probably be strange if we went at different times considering we're coming from the same place."
Gwen chuckled. "Right. I'll just wait outside while you dress," she agreed.
Gwen left his chambers and faster than he ever had before, Merlin prepared for his day. Gwen and Merlin walked to the kitchens slowly, neither one of them caring that they were already late for their duties. This wasn't anything new for Merlin, and Gwen was too caught up in their conversation to notice.
Gwen was listening to stories about Merlin's magic. When they got closer to the kitchens, Merlin stopped. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just keep talking. I'll stop."
"I don't mind," Gwen said honestly. "I get the feeling you haven't been able to talk about this stuff much."
Merlin smiled at her slightly. He looked around and when he was certain they were alone, he turned back to Gwen. "Blostma," he whispered, holding out his palm. A small flower slowly grew on his hand, identical to the one Gwen had given him the other day. He held it out to Gwen.
Gwen looked at it fearfully and didn't take it. "You're scared," Merlin told her quietly.
"I'm just not used to it," Gwen admitted. "It's one thing to know you can do it, but another to see you do it. It's different."
"Right," Merlin agreed, turning to leave. He had to get to Arthur before the prince had him in the stocks and he didn't want Gwen to see how much that hurt. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't help it.
"Wait!" Gwen called.
"What?" Merlin asked, angrily. He knew he shouldn't be angry, but he was hurt. He thought Gwen would understand, yet here she was acting like magic was to be feared. "You're just like everyone else. I thought that you were accepting what I am, but in the end, you hate magic as much as everyone else."
Gwen immediately reacted to Merlin's anger, matching it with fury of her own. "Don't you dare take that tone with me Merlin," she warned. "Do you expect me to just forget about all the things I've heard about magic. I have been a servant here for years and I have never once heard something good about magic. It's going to take time for me to get used to it."
"That's fine, take all the time you need," Merlin snapped at her, entirely prepared to leave her standing in the middle of the corridor. He wasn't even thinking of getting to his duties. He just wanted to get away from her.
"I'm trying here Merlin, I really am. Do you know how difficult it was for me to reach this point?" Gwen asked him angrily. "My father was nearly killed by sorcery and then I was arrested because someone healed him and they thought it was me. Then I find out it was you. And there were so many conflicting emotions in there! Put yourself in my shoes. What am I supposed to be thinking right now?"
Merlin felt like he had been slapped. Of course Gwen would need time. Why was Merlin acting like such an idiot?
He knew why. It was because he cared what she thought. More than anyone else. "Gwen," he said apologetically.
"No Merlin!" Gwen said angrily. "I don't know why you're behaving like this, but you have no right…" Gwen was cut off by Merlin's lips on hers.
"I'm acting like this because I care about what you think," Merlin told her when he broke the kiss. "I've never cared about what someone thought about me before, not like this. When I thought you were scared of me, I reacted stupidly. It's because… because I love you."
Gwen was staring at Merlin shocked. She couldn't believe it. When she didn't say anything, Merlin backed away from her, his worst fears confirmed. "Right, well I have sufficiently ruined our friendship, so I think I best get to Arthur before he gets angrier. He's a complete tyrant when he's hungry and I don't want to visit the stocks again. You know what he is like. He would probably add to my already endless list of chores and then he would–" Merlin rambled. He was cut off by Gwen kissing him.
It was short, but sweet. When they broke apart, Merlin could still feel the tingle from where their lips touched.
"I love you too," Gwen whispered. Merlin felt as if time had slowed down. He had never expected Gwen to reciprocate his feelings. It made Merlin feel a strange bubble in the pit of his stomach. It was pleasant, but frightening.
Merlin gently twisted his finger in a stray piece of hair that framed her face. His hand came to a rest on her cheek and he slowly leant down towards her.
Both of them lost themselves in the kiss. They were completely unaware of their surroundings. There was nothing but them and the kiss.
That was how Arthur and Morgana found them when they left their chambers to find their servants. Both just stared for a moment before Arthur coughed uncomfortably.
Gwen and Merlin broke apart, both blushing furiously. Morgana was looking at them with an excited glint in her eye. Arthur was looking at them like he wasn't sure if he should be happy or angry.
Merlin was the first one to speak. "I'll just fetch you breakfast Sire," he said quickly, looking at the wall. "I'll bring it to your chambers."
Arthur nodded. "You best hurry before I dock you a day's pay," Arthur warned.
Merlin nodded. "Yes Sire," he agreed. He watched as Arthur walked away.
"So you did it," Morgana said happily. "You told her."
"You told her before you told me?" Gwen asked, slightly insulted.
Merlin considered Gwen's expression before he realized she was talking about his magic. "Not about that," he told her quietly. "When I went to Uther and told him I was a sorcerer, Arthur told him the reason I was lying about being a sorcerer was because I loved you. He announced it to all of Uther's advisors."
"Oh," Gwen said surprised. "So it was Arthur…"
Merlin shook his head. "I denied it at first, but then I couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to lie anymore," Merlin admitted. "Well, not about that."
Gwen smiled at him and squeezed his hand affectionately. "Um, did I miss something?" Morgana asked confused.
"Nothing important," Merlin and Gwen lied in unison. Both of them chuckled. They didn't know what was going to happen now, but they knew they would get through it together.
Reviews are welcome