…Sara…
I breathed a sigh of relief…Anna's kidney's weren't damaged in the crash. Thank you, God! Kate was going to live, I knew it.
"Sara?"
"What?" I turned to my husband, sitting in the chair beside mine in the hall, relief flooding my face.
"You know what this means, don't you?" Brian fought back tears. "Anna's gone."
"But part of her will live on in Kate, and we can keep the other organs for Kate too, so if Kate ever needs anything, they're right there. Don't you see, honey? This is good!" I smiled.
"Do you even listen to yourself Sara? It's always been about Kate! Kate this, and Kate that! Where were you when Anna gave Kate marrow? Where were you when Anna donated platelets and who knows what else? I can tell you where I was! I was beside Anna because otherwise, she would have been through all that alone. YOU were busy spending time with Kate."
"Well, Brain, that's hardly fair…Kate was sick, Anna wasn't…"
"Damn right she wasn't, but she may have well been sick! Every single time Kate was in the hospital, Anna was too!"
"Brian, Kate was sick though, they gave Anna meds, she didn't feel…"
"Is that how you sleep at night? You lie to yourself and tell yourself that Kate was the worse one off? That Kate was the sick one?"
"She was Brian!" I started fuming. "No one asked Kate to have APL!"
"No one asked Anna if she wanted to be a 'parts' crop for Kate!" Brian spat back.
"I'm sorry, but am I the only one who recalls that's the only reason why Anna is here? To be a donor for Kate?"
"FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WOMAN! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND WAKE UP!" Brain stood and started yelling at me. "WHEN DID WE EVER ASK ANNA IF SHE WANTED TO GET STUCK WITH NEEDLES OR GET PUT UNDER THE KNIFE? WHEN DID WE EVER ASK HER IF SHE WANTED TO BE NORMAL?"
"We did, Brian! Don't you remember? We asked her if she wanted to help Kate." I remember that very well. Kate had just relapsed and Anna said she would help her. Maybe we didn't ask her specifically about procedures, but if we had, she would have been scared.
"Sara, your first words when Anna was born weren't, is she ok. They were, 'watch the cord.'"
"I didn't want it wrapped around her neck, Brian! Whose side are you on, anyway?"
"There are no sides Sara! We've been through that! But why were you concerned about the cord? Was it for Anna's safety or Kate's?"
Silence.
"Exactly." Brian breathed heavily, sweat mixing with tears. "I'm done, Sara. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to be with Anna."
"But…"
"Kate? She'll live. I have the rest of my life to be with Kate, but we've got only an hour or so left with Anna. I'm going to go spend that hour with Anna and feel her heart beat for the last time. I'm going to remember my daughter, Sara, and let her know damn well that I love her, and that no matter what, in life or death, I'm here for her."
Brian left, slamming the door behind him.
"Idiot," I glared at the place my husband's face had just been.
…Brian…
"Kate, what are you doing here?" I sat beside my daughter, and held Anna's still warm hand.
"I wanted to see her, see what I did to her," Kate said. For the first time, I realized the tears down her face weren't a side effect of the medication she was on. They were tears or love.
"What do you mean Kate? No one did this to her. You're not the one to blame, sweetheart."
"I am," Kate's voice wavered as she looked me in the face. "I told her I didn't want her to give me that kidney. If I hadn't have told her that, she wouldn't have gotten emancipation and she wouldn't have died."
"Do you still want Anna's kidney?"
"Dad, I feel like if I don't take it now, you'll lose two daughters, and that Anna's death will have been for nothing."
"Anna didn't die for nothing, Kate. She gave you happiness, and you gave her happiness. You were best friends, and you were the reason she was alive! She died because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time." I wiped away the tears streaming down my face.
"She wouldn't have been in that place if I hadn't said I didn't want her kidney." Kate hiccupped.
Suddenly, something clicked. "Kate, she wouldn't have been in that place if we had asked her, and you, what you truly wanted."
"You did, dad, it's just," Kate brushed a tear from the side of her face, "I've fought for so long that when I say no, something wrong and I have to go to the hospital, and Anna ends up there too."
"Remember when you were younger, and I walked in on you and Anna?"
A memory that I had vowed to forget suddenly surfaced.
"You remember how I said, 'that, never happened.' You asked Anna to kill you didn't you?"
Kate looked at me in shock, her eyes wide. Her voice came out as a whisper, "How did you know?"
"You've said no and enough for so long, but I guess I could never come to terms with it. I couldn't come to terms with losing you after all we've been through."
"Should I take Anna's kidney?" Kate asked me. I opened my arms, and held her like a small child.
"If you do, you could be in remission for a while. But when the cancer comes back, you have to decide then if it's time. If you don't, I don't know how long it'll be before you're gone." I choked up at the last words. "Anna would have wanted you to have her kidney. Heck, if it meant you would live forever, Anna would have given you her heart if you asked her to."
"I didn't have to ask Dad," Kate said. "I already have her heart, and she has mine."