Red Tides
Ashley tries to face one problem
And along comes another
Contains; fem-slash, cussing
Main Characters; Ellie, Ashley, Craig
Chapter One; Mr. Green-Eyes
- -
I know he's staring straight at me with his pure green eyes. The things I had all along I never once took for granted because I did love him. Sometimes though we all get lost and can't find our way back, sometimes we know we're lost and we're too stubborn to admit it. I think I was lost and didn't know my way back, but not now, I'm not lost anymore. You see, once upon a time I was happy. I had my problems, of course, but all seemed to disappear when he was around, he always made me smile, he always made me laugh, now all he does is make me feel worse every time I see his green eyes. I can't believe I couldn't see what stood before me - all the lies and betrayal. I really did think that he loved me, truly loved me like I loved him but I was wrong. He obviously didn't care much about me; anyone who cared at least a little bit wouldn't have done what he did to me. I thought him and Manny were nothing, not even friends since their sort of break-up last year. I guess I was mistaken since I found out he cheated on me, just this past Christmas. Then I come to find out that she was pregnant! God how stupid I must of looked! Manny didn't keep the baby like Craig wanted her too. It doesn't matter everyone knows how big of a slut she is, no one needs to see a baby for proof, you just look at her and know. I just still can't believe just how stupid I was.
"Daydreaming?" Paige Michalchuck whispers to me. I look over at her; she's to the right of me. I'm surprised she's sitting next to me considering her honeybee is all the way across the room. I sit my head in my hand staring at Paige.
"No, just thinking," I tell her flatly before sighing. She looks away already knowing what I'm thinking about. I think Paige is scared to get into my situation. Scared that she'll have to help me and of course Paige wouldn't want a responsibility like that. Who would want to help me? I turn back to Ms. Kwan finally tuning in thinking I should at least know what's going on.
"Okay, before class ends I have to say a few things. As you all know we've been having our main focus on performing arts," she starts off. I stare at her with my head tilted but still on my hand half listening half thinking about him. "But then we also did a huge poetry unit, now, instead of giving you two separate tests before we end the year, I'm going to give you one but it's going to be a combination of acting and poetry," she smiles at her own master plan. The room is still quiet with ears open. "I have these cards," she holds up a stack of white cards in her hand for the class to see. "I have assigned each and every one of you a person, a well- known person but not necessarily a famous person," she says pointing her finger at the class as she walks back in forth in the front. "I have chosen them because I know your strengths and interests and I actually want you all to pass this test," she grins and a few people giggle among themselves. I see Ms. Kwan whisper something to Terri who sits in front. Terri rises and takes the cards from Ms. Kwans hand and begins passing them out to everyone.
"Now, what you have to do is try to get into this persons head, try to figure out what's on their mind, their worries, fears, and joys," she explains with more depth. "Try to be the person and don't be afraid to take risks with something. After you've figured that part out, you will write a poem. It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be short it just has to seem sensible, make it into their words, what you think they would say," Ms. Kwan squints her eyes. "The deadline is next Friday, you will be graded on effort, sentence structure, punctuation, and how well you interpreted that person," Terri finally reaches the back row and I take delivery of a card with my name printed in big bold red letters. I observe it for a second and flip it over to reveal my assigned well-known person.
"Alice Paul?" Paige looks at me in disgrace of her chosen person. I look at her and laugh a little. She looks back with her lip curled.
"Do you even know who Alice Paul is?" I ask doubting that she does. She rolls her eyes and tries peaking over at my card cleverly but I catch her prying eyes. I flash the card at her. "Freda Kola," I publicize. She smiles as she stares at the card.
"Well now I don't feel so bad for who I got," she chuckles looking at me. I hold the card in front of me and study it.
"I'm not disappointed," I tell Paige looking at her once again. Paige looks back with questionable eyes. "Have you seen her work? She has done some amazing pieces, you wouldn't believe some of the symbolism in some of them," I brag.
"Ashley, she doesn't need a paintbrush, she needs some tweezers. Have you seen her eyebrows?" Paige nitpicks in disgust. I roll my eyes looking back at my card. That's just like Paige to judge someone, sometimes I get so fed up with it. Does everything need to be about lip-gloss and manicured nails? I'm so past the whole picture perfect image, no use trying to obtain something I'll never be. I sigh and at that moment the bell rings and everyone arises from their seats keen to get out of here. I get up and stick the card in my pocket. I grab my binder and begin walking down the aisle people have already seemed to desert. I have a feeling Craig is right behind me, watching me to see if I'll do anything different today. As I approach the door to freedom it seems like no ones moving, I wait there annoyed waiting to get out.
"Craig, can I see you for a second?" I can hear Ms. Kwan say, then hearing Craig say 'sure'. I listen closely not wanting the crowd to move anymore. "I was looking through my assignment folders today and I forgot to talk to you about this poem you wrote," I continue ease-dropping.
"Pawn Shoppe Heart, yeah, I remember this," I hear him say to himself. I remember that poem! We both wrote that! I can't believe he turned into Ms. Kwan as his own work, I practically wrote that whole poem which we were suppose to turn into a song, ya know, before he cheated on me. I turn around almost infuriated and walk over to the desk the two talk at. Ms. Kwan observes me blankly but Craig looks at me as if he's scared.
"We wrote that poem," I tell Ms. Kwan tightly. She looks at Craig then at me. I glare over at him. "Not just him," I snap.
"Really?" Ms. Kwan asks. Neither of us answer, we just stare at each other. "It's very good, Ashley, you both did an amazing job," she compliments evidently ignoring the hatred vibes I send to Craig.
"Yeah? Well you might have to hold that poem for a while, because it's the last one I'll share credit with him for," and with that I trudge off seeing that the jam is cleared of. I'll never let him have the credit for anything I have, he's not gonna hurt me anymore. He'll pay, I'll make sure of that.
- -
I walk outside with my CD player and headphones at my side, still a bit bothered with what happened this morning. I walk hastily through the crowds of people finding a place to be alone, try to think everything out. I keep my eyes pasted to the ground trying to avoid all distractions to thinking but I bump into someone.
"Going somewhere?" Ellie asks smirking at me when I look up at her. I shrug.
"Maybe if I wished hard enough I could get out of hell," I say. She rolls her eyes and we find our way onto an empty wooden bench. I sit down and try plugging my headphones into my player but somehow they won't fit. I try pushing harder.
"You're not in hell, you're just going through some tough stuff right now," she says looking at me as I thrash about trying to put the headphones in the player. I stop and look at her.
"I am, look around, Ellie! Craig cheated on me, he got Manny pregnant," I remind her. "I mean, even after everything, all the sorries he's said to me, I can't forgive him," I say. She nods considerately.
"I wouldn't forgive him either, Ash. The guy is a jerk who obviously doesn't deserve you considering he's an egocentric moron," Ellie points out and I stare at her knowing she's right. "And maybe one day he will recognize how good he had it with you," she adds on. I nod.
"I would have never hurt him, Ellie. I thought we really did love each other, I thought we had it all, I mean, didn't it seem like it? I was the happiest I could have ever been with him," I try not to get to choked up about it.
"And then all seems to come crashing down," she says. I nod looking away again. "Try to forget him, Ash. Let him have Manny, let him have whoever he wants you don't need him! Never did, never will, he isn't worth all this that you're going through"
"But I can't just forget him, Ellie. I can't just forget that I loved him, I can't just forget what we had, I can't forget that he cheated on me, made me look like such an idiot and then left me, just like that, left me," I look at her. "I can't just forget and move on, this isn't like that," I say a bit vociferously. We stare at each other for a minute or two.
"You deserve better," she whispers to me. We continue staring. I never noticed the soft brown of Ellie's eyes; somehow they seem brighter today, more noticeable. I wonder what she's thinking right at this very moment. After seconds pass, she gets up and breaks her eyes away from mine but I keep staring at where they just were still trapped in the moment. I finally realize she left and I watch her walk off and get swallowed up by the crowds. I look down at my player a little bemused. I jam the headphones in the player and sit the mini speakers on my ears; I slouch down and listen to The Smashing Pumpkins.
[[ A/N: I HOPE IT DOESN'T SUCK TOO MUCH LOL. I REALLY TRIED TO MAKE THIS STORY GOOD, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! OH AND BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED THIS CHAPTER IS PRETTY SHORT THAT'S THE WAY THE CHAPTERS OF THIS STORY WILL MOST LIKELY BE, I GUESS IT'S JUST THE WAY I WRITE =] IF I SEE ENOUGH INTEREST IN THE STORY I MAY CONTINUE ]]