Strawberry Days

Kurosaki Ichigo One-Shot

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah...

I've never understood why it was an unofficial rule for people to be sad at a loved one's funeral.

Don't misunderstand me - I did get that death wasn't something to take lightly. Regardless of past bickers or hard feelings, the core of a funeral was that the person's life was, of course, gone and even those less-than-happy times would be nothing but memories in the past. But there was still something that always struck me as contradicting to this theory: what about Heaven?

No matter which religion a person chose to worship, the idea of some form of afterlife was widely followed. Souls were supposed to be happy once they passed on, weren't they? It was a haven, a place devoid of the evils plaguing Earth that we were all left behind with. Even reincarnation didn't exactly stand out as a means to mourn; wasn't it a chance at a fresh start? Tabula Rosa? Those were good things, weren't they? Why should anyone be upset over the people they care about moving on to a 'City Upon a Hill' or a new life-after-life?

Maybe I was just being pessimistic, but it seemed pretty selfish to me. I tried to keep my disdainful glances at the hysterically weeping old women to a limit though, if only for the sake of courtesy. Satoshi would have killed me if I glared at his grandmother for her tears. Beside from that, I could honestly empathize with his relatives horror over burying a fifteen-year-old.

I sighed, trying my best to put on a melancholy face. I truthfully only felt a slight bit of saddness over this whole thing, as horrible as it sounded. Satoshi had been my best friend since grade school, before he had been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe it was only because we understood each other so well, or because I had had plenty of time to accept the fate that he would be torn from me at such a young age. He had known he was going to die for the past year or so - he had told me himself. I was understandably distraught, you could imagine, but he helped me through it. I began to realize that destiny wasn't something I could change - life would leave us all eventually, so you had to enjoy what time you had with the people who meant the most to you and not be too upset if they passed on first. It's not like we would never see each other again - we would meet in Heaven. We promised each other that much.

Rather than listening to a hired priest read from the Bible and talk about Satoshi like they had known each other (I doubted that they had ever even met) I chose to scan the crowd that had shown up for his funeral. It was now the ceremonial burial session, all of us gathered around a never-ending hole dug into the ground. Graves were really a creepy thing - why would anyone want to be dumped ten or fifteen feet under Earth's crust for eternity? I wouldn't. My chills only increased with the wails of Satoshi's family echoing around me; the entire area was a mass of black clothing and grief-stricken faces. Karakura was currently a land of glum and gloom. Was Satoshi here watching this? Would this scene be his last view of the happy home he had always known?

How depressing! At least it wasn't raining - that would have just been painfully dismal.

I guess he would have been glad to know that so many people had shown up to say their final goodbyes, though. He had always been the kind of guy who appreciated every little thing. It looked as if our entire class had shown up, even if most of them hadn't seen him since middle school. Actually, Satoshi had only spent a few weeks in Karakura High in total - his sickness had turned bad around halfway thorough freshman year and he was condemned to a hospital bed. It must have been awful. I think I would rather be out in the world with the risk of tragedy than cooped up under some starch-white sheets and 'safe'. Being held prisoner was no way to live.

Anyway, there were tons of kids from school here paying their respects, some of who I only recognized by face and others whom I knew a little more personally. I couldn't hold back a smile at the turn out: this would have made Satoshi cry, probably, to feel so cared about. I hope he was here to witness his last hurrah.

Most notable of the company was the gang of Orihime, Tatsuki, Sado, Mizuiro, Keigo and even Uryuu. There was one boy in particular, however, that I couldn't help but notice was absent. I was sure that bright head of his would have stuck out right away if he had been standing in some other position, but no such shade of orange caught my eye. No, Kurosaki Ichigo hadn't shown. The prick.

Time passed slowly, the air suffocatingly thick with mourning, until at long last the ceremony had ended and everyone was dismissed. I would have loved to wait around until the area had cleared and I could be alone to get express my criticism over this entire process with Satoshi. I did have some decency, however, and knew this time was usually dedicated to immediate family to squeeze in a little more private blubbering.

I resolved that I would come back tomorrow morning as soon as I woke up and got myself ready. Then I could be refreshed, renewed and ready to face a new day.

A new day without Satoshi.

It was late in the spring season, nearly summer, so even at ten a.m. the air was warm and humid. The trek up the the cemetery was grueling enough without trying to remember where Satoshi's plot was. By the time I got close, my cloths were sticking to my skin from the amount of perspiration that had leaked out as a result of the heat. I panted as I neared my destination, wishing I had brought along a water bottle or something, before the sound of voices made me freeze in my steps.

"I can't do that, Satoshi! What am I suposed to say to her?!"

It felt like someone had just stabbed me in the gut with a knife. The man had just said Satoshi - like he was speaking to Satoshi. My Satoshi. No, it couldn't be. There was tons of people named Satoshi in Karakura; I was just too used to that one. I thought I had gotten over his death, but if this was just some kind of cruel joke I swear I was going to kill the prankster...

"Yeah, like that would work. 'Oh, hey Hanabi, we've never really talked much but I just wanted to pass on the message that your good friend Satoshi wants to thank you and wish you luck in life since he's dead and all and can't do it himself. I know because I spoke to his spirit a little while ago and we had a nice chat about you.' No way, it won't happen!"

I nearly choked. This time the man had mentioned my name with Satoshi's: Hanabi. He was talking about me? But with who? It sounded like it was some debate with the late boy himself, but that was impossible - Satoshi was obviously gone. The man speaking had even said it himself: he had spat something about sending on a message to me from Satoshi. But how? I was so confused. Why did it seem like someone was actually having a conversation with Satoshi when he wasn't there to speak back?

My curiosity was too much to handle. I dropped lightly to my knees, crawling along the grass on all fours until I crouched behind a random tombstone. Being careful not to be seen, I poked my head out from behind the polished stone.

"Look, I'm sorry," Kurosaki Ichigo sighed, the contrite just as obvious as his irritation. "But I don't do that kind of mediation stuff. I just get you to pass on the the Soul Society."

I had to remind myself to breath. Ichigo was standing there, in front of Satoshi's grave, hollering all of this gibberish that I couldn't understand at thin air. What the hell was going on?

From the distance, I could see as Ichigo's shoulders stiffened suddenly, eyes popping out of their sockets. "What?!" he craned his neck, glaring at some point to the left. "How do you get off calling me a coward - you're the one who couldn't say it to her when you were still alive! Now look where it got you!"

If I had to listen to this anymore, I didn't know if I could take it. I had no clue what was going on, but just the fact that my classmate was here in front of my best friend's grave pretending to talk to him had me freaking out. I sniffled quietly, pulling myself together with a deep breath before standing and stepping out form behind the tombstone.

"K-Kurosaki-kun?"

Ichigo, who had just opened his mouth for another rebuttal, gasped and snapped his face in the direction of my voice. I was unusually meek as I approached him, taking small, careful steps as if I were afraid of being attacked (honestly, I considered the possibility that the teen was high, drunk or something of those sorts - he had been known to ditch school and become a victim to mysterious injuries rumored to be connected with gang violence). I gulped, glancing around the premises for some hidden person. "Who are you talking to?"

The tall teen flushed, mouth gaping as he flushed. "Ah, um.. n-no one," he answered lamely, rubbing his fingers through his fluorescent hair. I frowned, furrowing my brows with doubt.

"I heard you yelling at someone," I ventured, not knowing just how dangerous the subject could be. If he was inebriated, after all, he may take it as a mental jab and become hostile.

Ichigo didn't answer, merely pursing his lips and sending me a hard stare. It was easy to see why many people were afraid if this 'strawberry' but I had seen enough of his good side not to buy into that scowl of his. I knew enough about his nature to understand that was his 'back off' look, but I couldn't be bothered to heed his warning. Instead, I swept my eyes over the area where he had been focusing his screams a few moments before.

"...Was it Satoshi?" I uttered, fearful of Ichigo's reaction. Another idea as to his odd behavior had popped into my head. I gazed back to him, catching the astounded expression flitting across his face. "Is he here?"

I wasn't exactly sure what made me say it - I had never particularly believed in ghost or those who could see them. I guess it was just the fact that I wanted to believe in it right now. Maybe I would really speak with Satoshi one more time. Could Ichigo be the person to translate for us?

It didn't seem like it. He seemed almost traumatized. I wondered if I had insulted him. Did he think I was calling him crazy? Did he think I was crazy for asking? I wasn't trying to be patronizing or mocking - I was trying to be understanding and patient.

I chose turn my back to him and to step closer to Satoshi's grave, giving Ichigo a minute to get a hold on himself. To pass the time, I let myself ramble off a few of the thoughts in my head.

"You know," I began reminiscing. "When Satoshi first told me he had cancer, I didn't understand how serious it was. We were still kids then, and I didn't think that it was any different from a cold. It wasn't until he first started taking kemo and lost all of his hair did I get that something was really wrong with him..." I snorted bitterly. "The first thing I told him was that he smelled. I didn't know it was from the medicine..."

Ichigo was silent, letting me go on as I stared down at Satoshi's name carved into the flat stone below me.

"...He just smiled and told me it was because aliens were trying to eat his brain - he fought them off but they kept coming back and trying, leaving all of this smelly space poison in him... I made him a tin foil necklace to warn them off. He made his parents bury him with it still on, so the aliens couldn't get to his soul..."

Apparently I didn't have as much closure as I thought, because the tears were flowing down my cheeks rapidly by the end. I grimaced, bringing my arms up to wipe them away furiously. I couldn't believe I was crying in front of Ichigo. Why was I pouring my heart out so openly around the loner?

I couldn't bring myself to talk anymore and settled for an awkward silence. Ichigo was still waiting behind me, probably only feeling obligated not to leave me there bawling by myself because he had been raised as a gentleman. I didn't know whether I wanted him to run away (like he must have wanted to) or keep me company. God, hadn't I just scoffed at all of the people doing this yesterday? What was wrong with me, damn it?!

A chaffing zephyr blew a curtain of dirty-blonde locks into my face. It had almost forgotten that the day itself was so beautiful - the aura here was completely cheerless. When I took the time to listen, I noticed that the birds were singing joyfully like they were in some Disney movie. Ichigo's mumbling distracted me form the animals, though.

"He's still wearing it, you know," he said softly. It was probably the most care I had ever heard in his gruff voice. "He thinks it's the only reason he hasn't been attacked by any hollows yet."

I turned to face the Kurosaki male, not self-conscious in the least at this point if he saw me crying. "Hollows?" I questioned in a whimper. My throat had closed up from the display of emotion, my eyes stinging and red from the salted water.

Ichigo smiled lightly, those normally firm brown orbs tenderized. "Yeah - they're just like aliens. But they haven't gone after Satoshi since you protected him."

The strangled laugh that worked its way out of my mouth was an instinctual cover-up for the intended sob. "T-that's...good..."

I knew the words weren't just a random pcik to make me feel better - Ichigo wouldn't lie like that. I was forced to accept that Satoshi really was there, and that Ichigo was gifted enough to be the one to interact with him. It must have been why he was alone so much and unwilling to bond with other students: he felt that they couldn't relate to him at all on certain levels. I was both thrilled and terrified at the revelation. My emotions had already been raging enough without discovering that my classmate could converse with spirits, or that my deceased brethren was still by my side even in death.

I didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having my knees give out, so I decided to plop down on the ground by my own free will. Ichigo followed soon after, slowly anchoring himself at my side, legs spread out casually. We sat there for a while, not speaking, not touching. We were just there. It was comforting, even if Ichigo wasn't doing a thing but staying. It was simple, but effectual.

Things probably should have stayed in that companionable quiet for a while, but once I was able to stop weeping and gain some control my mouth just opened on its own accord.

"I won't tell anyone," I blurted, sounding like a fool. I could sense Ichigo's questioning glance even when I kept my eyes stubbornly averted. "About you talking to dead people, I mean."

"..."

I shoudn't have been so blunt. Maybe I should have just ignored the secret all together. It was probably one of those understood pacts that didn't need to be spoken, and I had ruined it. I was never good at this stuff - I could practically hear Satoshi laughing at my distress.

Feeling the need to make up for me bringing up the uncomfortable topic, I jumped off track and started over as if the last words out of my mouth had never been spoken.

"When I die, I don't want to just have my body all made-up and dumped in the ground," I told whoever was listening; I wasn't sure if it was just Ichigo and I anymore. I kept my eyes to the sky, watching as a few fluffy clouds obscured the powdered blue canvas. "I want to be made into a firework."

"Huh? A firework?" Ichigo blinked. He must have been a little thrown off by the proclamation. "You can do that?"

I nodded, trying to ignore the tightness I felt on my cheeks from the now dried tears. "I think the place is in England or something, but they can take your ashes, mix them in with whatever combustion stuff is in fireworks and then BOOM!"

I threw my arms up into the air, mimicking the flash of light. I didn't notice that I would have punched Ichigo in the nose if he hadn't wrenched back.

"Oh, uh..." Ichigo stuttered. "That's cool, but can I ask why?"

I sighed, returning my gaze to the earth. "I don't want my friends and family to have to go through with all of that," I confessed somberly. "I hate all of the depression people associate with dead, so when I die I want it to be a party. You know, like celebrating life. For the grand finale, instead of locking me in a box and putting me underground, I'll go out with some style. Just a flash of light and my soul will go on with the wind forever..."

Ichigo eyed my wishful expression thoughtfully. "That's sort of nice," he agreed, nodding to himself. "...But kinda gross too, if you think about it..."

I giggled as he twisted his face up in mortification. "That's almost exactly what Satoshi said when I told my plan to him!"

The boy smiled down at my elated grin. Ichigo was actually very nice looking when he didn't hate the world. I bit my lip, breaking eye contact and grabbing his hand on impulse. It was large, his palm twice the size as mine and fingers three times as long, but there was a strange sense of warmth coming from the calloused skin, as if these hands had saved hundreds of lives and were made for protection. I traced the patterns of his life line, flicking my shy gaze up to his rosy cheeks.

"Thank you, Ichigo. For everything."

He gaped. "Huh? What'd I do?"

I just shook my head, not elaborating at all. My only response was grasping his hand a little tighter, wrapping all of my ten fingers around his five. Ichigo's gaze flickered down, watching the clash of our skin. He looked up then, catching my eyes and twisting his lips up. Unconsciously I did the same, not even minding the butterflies in my stomach making me feel queasy. It was a good kind of queasy.

But that picturesque moment of perfection was ruined when Ichigo suddenly twitched and, ripping his limb violently out of my grip, pointed towards a deserted patch of the cemetery.

"No I'm not going to kiss her!" he denied an invisible force. The lines of orange that made up his eyes brows quivered dangerously, eyes narrowed and shooting daggars. "Grr, stop telling me to do all this perverted stuff, you jerk!"

I faked a cough, succeeding in getting the teens attention back. He was distracted for a moment before his actions caught up with him and his face burned a brighter red than any I had ever seen on any human.

"Oh, uh, sorry..." he said, clearing his throat. I would have told him it was fine and tried to touch him again if he hadn't turned away, staring at the spot he had been verbally assaulting. I followed his gaze, not seeing anything but a few leaves lifted by the wind.

"You should go now," Ichigo exhaled slowly. I marveled at how attractive his voice was when it was both soft and gruff like that. My imagination could only guess what he meant - he had some business of his own to take care of with Satoshi. If Satoshi had been hanging around for this long just to make sure I was alright, I was sure the scene he had just witnessed between Ichigo and I had soothed any misgivings. He would be satisfied with my new hero, I think, and trust Ichigo to take care of the both of us.

"Okay," I settled, climbing to my feet. My ankles were unsteady at first, feet partially asleep, but I was able to maintain my balance and take a few steps towards the cemetery gates. I made to leave before another thought came to me and I paused. Turning back to Satoshi's grave, I watched as Ichigo hurled himself upright and put his hands to narrow hips, puffing out a huff of air and exchanging a few quiet words with the empty space beside him. I decided to interrupt, just one more time.

"I'll see you in school, Ichigo?"

The carrot top turned, catching sight of my expectant copper orbs and lifting his lips infinitesimally. He waved.

"Yeah. See you in school, Hanabi."

(A/N) So, I sat down the other day do work on some of the one-shots that are actually on my list... and came out with this a few hours later ^-^

Inspired by: Strawberry Days by Younha. I may not understand Korean or the lyrics, but I LOVE this song.

Well, if you took the time to read, why not take the time to leave a review? I'd really appreciate it! Not to seem annoyingly modest, but I was totally hyper and happy when I wrote this, so I'm not sure if I really commited to the whole sad/depressed/death theme...