Well I know I'm totally behind on the bandwagon here, but I just discovered Degrassi like 3 months ago, so its still new to me. I basically wanted to know how Paige and Alex grew up to be the way they were in high school and how that led them to have the connection they did, so I decided to write it myself. Obviously, who's to say any of this would have happened, but there's nothing about the plot of the show that says it couldn't have! I will follow the plot of the show and include some scenes directly from the show, but the flashbacks and flashforwards will all be completely original.
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, something very different would have happened when Paige told Alex to take the dress off in Love is a Battlefield. I also don't own the band Copeland or their song 'Testing the Strong Ones' from which I named this story.
Chapter 1
I drag my feet toward Degrassi Community School, eager to get the first day of grade 11 over with. First days of school were never fun for me. All they did was remind me of the world inside those walls where I was never what I really wanted to be. I was shaped by the opinions of others, until I began acting the way I knew they wanted me to. Not that I wasn't every bit the badass they saw, but there was more to me than that. No one is just one thing and one thing only. I know we're only in high school, but these kids have got to be perceptive enough to grasp that concept.
My friend, Ellie was sitting outside on the steps. I'd like to think she was waiting for me, but that probably wasn't true. We weren't exactly best friends, but we definitely had gotten closer in the past year. It was good to finally have a friend at Degrassi that didn't run with the crowd that was always causing trouble. I mean, I know I was a part of that too, but somehow, I felt like I could fit in somewhere else too. Maybe.
"Morning, Sunshine," she greets me as I walk up to her.
"Hey," I laugh, "I'm so not looking forward to this."
"Who does?" she asks with a giggle.
At that moment, I hear a familiar voice in the distance growing closer and closer. Paige. Seeing her always gives me the strangest mixed feelings of anger and comfort. My mind always drifts briefly back to a time when she wasn't a bitch or a cheerleader, but my quiet, sometimes insecure childhood best friend. But then, she would open her mouth and throw some snide remark in my direction, and I remember that isn't exactly the case anymore. Still sometimes I can see it in her eyes. She looks unsure, like she doesn't believe the harsh words she says about me even as they escape her lips. She should know better than to look me in the eye; it always gives her away.
"Hey, Paige. Great outfit," Ellie blurts out. I roll my eyes. I have no idea why Ellie always feels the need to compliment her. Don't enough people do that already? I take a step toward Paige, not even hearing her response to Ellie.
"Just because Princess Prissy talks to you doesn't mean you have to answer," I snap. I know Paige doesn't give a shit about Ellie. Why should she offer kind words to someone who doesn't even appreciate them?
Paige looks at me for a second. I almost feel bad. Those eyes again. She looks hurt. Well, good, she deserves it. I don't feel bad. I don't.
"I'm going, I'm going," and with that she disappears into the school.
Ellie and I turn around toward the giant front doors. As we walk in, my mind wanders back to a different time, like it always does after a run-in with Paige; a time when not all my first days of school were so bad.
ooooooooooooooo Flashback
In private school, it's difficult to tell the kids who have money from the kids who don't because everyone wears the same thing. The same thing I happened to be wearing on my very first ever day of school was a navy, green and white plaid dress. A bow of the same material held back my dark, brown hair, and my white, lacey socks matched my white blouse under my dress. It felt sort of like playing dress up. Not in a princessy, superhero sort of way – it was even better than that. I felt like someone important, someone who mattered. A doctor maybe? Or a firefighter. I just knew that if I said something, everyone would listen and would want to be my friend. Something like that.
I walked through the doors of the school in between my parents, each of them clutching one of my hands. I felt so proud and protected as we walked down the halls of what my parents told me was the most prestigious private school in Toronto – whatever that means. I was just happy to finally begin school and to be all dressed up nicely for a change.
When we finally reached the door, I could see the room was already full which meant we were late, but I really didn't care. My dad scooped me up in his big, comforting arms and kissed my cheek, quickly whispering in my ear so my mom wouldn't notice, "If you change your mind and want to come home just call me at work."
"Daddy!" I giggled, "I won't be gone forever."
"Okay, fine, but we're going out for ice cream after school," he said in a pretend-serious voice; the one he always used when Mom made him scold me for something I'd done.
"Yay," I squealed and wrapped my arms around his neck. As I did so, I spotted another girl who looked about my age, wearing the same dress as me except for her bright, pink shoes. They were pretty and shiny – much more so than my black ones. She was being dragged down the hallway by a lady, probably her mom, who was carrying a boy who looked a bit older. As the three of them got closer, I could see that she was crying and probably had been for a while because her face was as pink as her shoes. She finally managed to break free from the woman's grasp after biting her arm and she took off down the hall. I giggled a little and looked at my dad whose face seemed worried.
"Let's just go inside," my mom tugged at his arm but he didn't budge.
"Hold on," he said firmly.
The lady had now managed to hold the little girl under one arm and the boy under the other. It was pretty funny to watch her stumbling down the hallway. Once she got to our door she put her down and began wiping her tears with the bottom of her own dress.
"Paige, will you please stop being so difficult for just ten seconds?" she hissed.
"I want my mommy and daddy!" she continued to sob hysterically.
"You'll see them later," she groaned.
"I want them now," she sniffed.
"Well, I'm sorry, they're at work," the woman rolled her eyes. This was clearly a conversation she was tired of having.
"I don't care," the little girl's crying fit turned into screaming. I felt really sad for her, even if she was yelling and being kind of a brat. I couldn't imagine not having my mom and dad to take me to my first day of school.
"Paige, please stop crying. I have to take your brother to his class all the way on the other side of the school and we're already late."
My dad put me down and cleared his throat, "Excuse me? If you don't mind, we can take her in with our daughter. It's no trouble."
"Oh, thank you, Sir, that would be great," she kissed the little girl's cheek and hurried away with the little boy.
"What's your name?" my dad asked, squatting down to our level.
"Paige," she said in the smallest, most pitiful voice I've ever heard. Dad nudged me.
"Hi," I waved a little, "I'm Alex."
Paige wrinkled her nose a bit, "That's a boy's name."
"It's short for Alexandra," I defended.
"Oh," she didn't seem like she completely understood, but she probably didn't care much either. She was staring at the floor and her long, blonde hair covered most of her face. Being the happy and carefree kid I was most of the time, I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at my dad, hoping he'd help me.
"Well, in you go," my dad pushed us gently toward the door, grabbing me by the arm before I went, "Oh, and you'd better invite her to get ice cream with us, too. I think she needs it more than we do."
I nodded in agreement and skipped through the door.
oooooooooooo Present
I sit on the top of the back of the toilet, my legs tucked up, hoping no one will see me in the girls' washroom. Gross? Totally. But it's a sacrifice I'll always make to avoid being seen with tears running down my perfectly made up face.
Today is going to be, without a doubt, one of the most difficult days of my life, and here I am, crying over something so small. Who cares what Alex thinks about me? Her opinion doesn't really matter to anyone around here – at least, not anyone I care to associate with.
What she said wasn't even that mean anyway. I guess it was just the way she said it. She talked to me like I was nothing, like dirt; like we hadn't spent countless nights at each other's houses making up dances to our favorite songs, like we hadn't been there for each other in the worst of times like when Alex's dad passed away, like we hadn't been best friends.
The door to the washroom swung open and slammed hard against the wall. The only girl that would open the door that angrily had to be Alex. Great. I heard her shuffle past my stall and I held my breath, trying to keep my sobbing under control. I heard Alex drop her bag down on the sink and mumble something under her breath. It almost sounds like she's saying something about being nice, but I can't quite tell. I lean in closer to the side of the stall in a vain attempt to hear more clearly and just as I do so, my foot slips out from under me. I let out a gasp, and quickly cover my mouth. But it was too late. I could hear Alex's footsteps coming toward me.
"Who's in there?" she taps lightly on the door, "Are you okay?"
Woah. Alex just expressed concern for another human being. Well, okay, in all fairness I had known her to do that many a time, but not since that fateful day. I wonder if she would still ask if I was okay if she knew it was me.
"Or not," she says after a lack of response from me, and walks back over toward the sink. I can't hold my tongue anymore. On the one hand, I don't really want her to know she succeeded in making me cry, but at the same time, I do wish she'd feel bad about it.
"You know, Alex, I really don't need any shit from you today," I say flatly. I know my voice is quivering though, which will surely give away the fact that I was crying.
"Paige?" her voice grows nearer again.
"You have no idea what's going on in my life right now," I continue.
"Same to you."
Okay, I didn't really expect that, but I guess she has a point. Still, whatever it is can't be worse than having to tell a room full of people, including your mom and your boyfriend, the dirty details of being raped.
"Oh yeah," I stand and open up the stall door, "are you going to court today against the guy who raped you?"
She looks right at me. Her face turns pale and I know she feels bad. I can practically see all the memories of our past racing through her head as she holds herself back from running to me, protecting her best friend from the world, asking me where the creep is so she can go kick his ass. She can't do any of those things now though – not anymore. Or maybe she just won't. I'm not sure which one. It's been too long. Too much has changed. We're just strangers now with identical memories.
"I'm sorry," she hangs her head down. She looks sad and small. Why do I feel like the bitch now? Why do I feel the sudden need to protect her when I'm the one who was supposed to be the victim?
"It's okay. You didn't know," it's the best I can offer. She picks up her bag and hurries out of the bathroom, leaving me to finish crying alone.
THE END! Well, for now anyways. This is going to be a looooong story at this rate. That's a good thing though, right? Should I just stop now? Hopefully someone somewhere out there still appreciates the love, even though our hopes and dreams have been dashed. Review if you like, cause I'd love to know if there's an audience for this. Have a fabulous day!