The last of the special phrase shipping fics and it's all about N! (It's the least I could do for him. I haven't even done a FerriswheelShipping fic yet and I rep that's pretty much one of my favorite ships in this series.) Can you guess what the anagram is supposed to be?! …Yeah, I doubt it. Just try to arrange all the letters in the beginning of each ship name. Anyway, I'll get back to writing Pokémon Gray chapters now like a good girl!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Pokémon series. If I did, there'd have been a Pokémon Gray version with a different ending for N.
X-X-X
L is for LostlornShipping (N & Himself)
"Knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself?"
X-X-X
He took a moment. He knew the words he wanted to say, but it wasn't so easy when he was looking right at himself—his young self. The younger him stared up at him with wary eyes as he gripped the void cube that hung around his neck—a memento of the woman who bore him, but whom he never even knew. "Your life was a lie. No matter how much you don't want to hear the truth, it was mostly a lie."
The boy edged away from him, looking even more wary than before.
"Your father never loved you. He never even considered you as a son, not really. You were nothing but a puppet and a pawn to him. And the things he gave you," he looked past the boy at the toy box overflowing with toys. "The friends he introduced you two," a yipping Zorua ran between the two of them, then faded like an illusion. "Even the safety he provided for you," the walls faded in, painted like the sky they wouldn't have seen for many years. "All of that was to keep you ignorant and naïve about the world.
"You had caretakers, but they never showed you any love. The thought of whether or not that was due to your father or because they saw you the same way he did may actually remain in a part of your mind until you've gotten to nerve to ask them how they feel about you. You've had servants. Some only pretended to follow you, but there were others who actually believed in you and saw you as some paragon of pure-hearted righteousness. You'll wonder if they would still be proud of you when they learn that you're a fake, raised and molded into a fake messiah for a cause they thought was right because you told them it would be."
The green-haired child looks like he's on the verge of tears. In a vain attempt to save face, he bows his head and hides his face against his pulled up knees. The sound of his younger self's crying made him think of the day when his world seemed to collapse. He bent down and wrapped his arms around the child.
"But it wasn't all meaningless. You managed to heal the hearts of many Pokémon. And you got to meet some very special people— No…you got to make friends. You got to make friends with people whom you thought were like you, but misguided. So you tried to change them to fit your views, but in the end, they changed you. You're probably never going to escape from your past. There might always be people who think the worst of you because of it. But so long as you have your friends…you'll be okay."
The child looked up at him, and while his eyes were still red from crying, he managed a smile.
X-X-X
"Okay, that's about all the time I have for you today, Natural. That was a very good session. Until next week."
"O-okay. Thank you, doctor." N kept a hold on his void cube as he left the doctor's office, his head bowed as he headed through the waiting area in an attempt to ignore the staring secretary and the whispering patients. He didn't raise his head until he was in the elevator. The green-haired young man suddenly remembered how to breathe. When the doors slid open, he stepped out into the lobby. A smile found its way onto his face as he saw Black and White standing near the entrance.
"Hey, N! Everything, uh…go okay?" Black asked, looking a bit awkward.
"Mm-hm."
"Alright. Now that we're all here, we can catch the afternoon showing of Timegate Traveler!"
N blinked, confused. "Weren't we going to watch Full Metal Cop?"
"I never agreed to go and watch it!" White exclaimed with a huff. "So we compromised and decided we'd all probably like that movie. You don't mind, do you?"
"No." It wasn't like he watched much movies to begin with.
"Alright! If we get there soon enough, we'll be able to sit up close to the screen!"
"Who'd want to do that? It's better in the back."
"No way! It looks so much better when you sit in the front!"
Both twins looked at N, expecting him to be on their side. He just smiled and shrugged, not really caring what they'd do. They remained that way even as they exited the building and headed down the street to the theater.