No More Palms
WARNINGS: Well, the only warnings I can think of are stupidity, insanity, and hilariousness... Other than that, I dunno you're on your own! But you know how crazy my fics are, so try not to get too excited... I did this to overcome my writer's block. So we'll see where it goes... Hehehe...
KISAME: (shows up in Kaline's yard, and is looking evilly in her windows) Bwahahahaha! So Kaline, I heard that you hate me? Is that true? Hellloooo?
KALINE: O.O Nuuuuuu!! (runs and hides in corner, while dialing a phone number)
KISAME: (still outside, bothering her)
KALINE: Hello, seaworld?
SEAWORLD EMPLOYEE: yes?
KALINE: I uhm... need you to come get this shark...
SEAWORLD: Where is it?
KALINE: He's walking around my yard!! (waving arms wildly, though employee cannot see that)
SEAWORLD: Walking... in your yard? (raises eyebrows)
KALINE: Yes! Also, you might wanna be careful... He's a Ninja! XD And his name is Kisame. BEWARE!!
SEAWORLD: Riiiiiight, a crazy Ninja-shark named Kisame... (using other hand to call the insane asylum) We'll be right there.
KALINE: Oh, and he has a really big sword too! So yeah, you might wanna be careful... (hears dialtone) Hello? Hellooooooooooooo??
(a few minutes pass, and Kisame is still there. A strange gray van pulls up.)
NEJI: (ignores Kisame and knocks on door)
KALINE: (narrows eyes) ...Can I help you, ma'am?
NEJI: Uhm... Anyway... (tries to control anger) I'm here about the "shark"? Someone called about a shark.
KALINE: Yes, he's right over there! (points to Kisame, who is walking around the yard looking at the flowers and stuffs)
RANDOM FANGIRL: That's not a shark, that's just Kisame. He's a human. And a fantastic Ninja. And a damn sexy one. I just love how everyone pairs him with Itachi, it's soooooo cuuuuuuute!!
KALINE: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! (plugs ears) I don't want to hear it!!
NEJI: She has a valid point... (takes out straight jacket) I'm afraid you'll have to come with me, miss.
KALINE: What the hell?! No! (stomps foot childishly)
NEJI: (uses Byakuugan) If you won't cooperate, then I will have to-
RANDOM FANGIRL: Use 64 palms! Oh Neji, it's sooooo cooooool when you doooo that! I just loooooove it! (glomps him, but lets go so he can do as requested. Neji just stands there.) Pwease?
KALINE: Ever noticed how the word "fangirl" starts with "fang"?
RANDOM FANGIRL: (glares) I hate you! Neji, sick her!
NEJI: 2 palms! (hits Kaline) 4 palms! (hits) 8 palms! (continues until the end, etc.) 64 palms!
KALINE: (is poked and falls over) NO MORE PALMS!!
NEJI: ...Just wear the jacket. You're insane. Talking about walking sharks and...
ITACHI: (casually walks by the street)
KALINE: (I shouldn't have to tell you what I'd do, YOU KNOW!) XD OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG O.O
RANDOM FANGIRL: No! He belongs with Kisame!
ITACHI: WTF?! (looks at fangirl like she's crazy) Hell no!! (tries to run away)
KISAME: (still looking at flowers, mutters) We're just friends...
KALINE: YAY!! (glomps Itachi) All MINE!! :D :D :D
ITACHI: Can't... breathe... Kaline... squeezing... killing... 'Tachi... No... (faints)
NEJI: (inspecting Kisame more closely, getting right in his face) Are those gills? I guess... He IS a shark... Hmm... (calls seaworld on his cell as he pulls away)
KISAME: (casually walks into the neighbors yard)
(about half an hour later...)
ITACHI: (wakes up, and sees that he is tied up in Kaline's basement) What the... hell?! O/.\O
KALINE: (evil smirk)
END OF STORY
ITACHI: What do you mean it's "the end"?! It's not the end! HELP!!
KALINE: The end, you an all go now. Teehee! :D
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Disclaimer: Kaline Reine does not own Naruto, any of the characters, and/or Seaworld. She will accept no lawsuits!
A/N: Another part of my rant series... Uhm... I have nothing else to say. (hangs head in shame) This was also a result of a certain phone conversation, and also of Corey playing Naruto Clash of Ninja 2, and me screaming "No more PALMS!!" when he kicks my ass with Neji, when I was Hinata. The whole Itachi thing was kind of random and just... I'm done. XD
-Kaline Reine