Daryl stood in the doorway, glaring as he watched Gillian flirting with Shane. Shane! If she had to act like some worthless slut, could she not at least have done this with anyone but Shane? He stiffened as Merle strode up to stand beside him. Merle smirked as he watched Daryl shifting restlessly, clenching and unclenching his fists.
"What's the matter, little brother?" he rasped.
Daryl shot him a hatefilled look. "Fuck you, Merle. Get the fuck away from me," he hissed as he began to pace angrily in the doorway.
"Why, what're ya so mad for? Ya don't want her, do ya? Ya made that clear from the start, clear to everone that ya don't want her," Merle shot back testily.
"What the fuck are ya on about Merle?" Daryl growled.
"Talkin' bout the fact that yer here pacing like a caged animal, growling and such because some gal ya don't want nothing ta do with is talking to that dickhead Shane." Merle paused and bit out a laugh. "Course if I'm wrong, if ya do want her, then maybe ya best get yer head outta yer ass and let her know it. Cuz she's as much in the dark as the rest of us about what you do and don't want," Merle shrugged and laid a hand on Daryl's shoulder, "then again maybe ya don't know yer ownself baby brother." Merle gripped Daryl's shoulder briefly then left Daryl's side to wander back over to where Andrea stood.
Daryl glared after his brother, struggling to slow his breathing and calm himself. Then he watched Shane brush a curl back from Gillian's face and he stomped angrily over to where Shane and Gillian stood. He grabbed Gillian's shoulder roughly and jerked her around to face him. "What the fuck do ya think yer doin?" he bellowed.
Gillian's eyes went wide as she attempted to jerk her shoulder out of Daryl's grip. "Let go of me Daryl!" she snapped.
Daryl's eyes cut to Shane, standing there smirking like the shit stirring dickhead he was. "What the fuck is so damn funny Shane?"
Shane continued to smirk while he shrugged a shoulder. "Nothing unusual, just enjoying the show you and your brother always put on-can always rely on inbred hillbilly trash to liven up a place."
Shane had barely gotten the words out of his mouth before Daryl rushed at him, slamming Shane against the wall behind them. Daryl's arm wedged against Shane's throat, choking him, while he rammed a fist with all strength into Shane's gut. He could feel Gillian's hands at his back trying to pull him off Shane and he snarled at her while he shook her off. Then he felt Rick's hands joining Gillian's and he abruptly pushed off Shane and whirled on Rick.
"Get yer fuckin' hands off me," Daryl growled as he shook free of Rick and Gillian. Rick raised his hands in surrender and backed away. Daryl's eyes swept the hall, old feelings of shame and not belonging swelling up as he observed the looks of surprise and disdain on everyone's faces. Without thinking he had just acted like his Pa always had and confirmed the belief in everyone's minds that the Dixon family was nothing more than trouble making redneck trash-outsiders even among their own hillbilly kin.
Hunching his shoulders and ducking his head, Daryl jerked Gillian to his side and began to drag her along with him toward the exit-never pausing to consider whether or not she would want to leave with him. Silently Gillian stumbled along beside him, nearly falling once or twice with the effort of keeping up with his long strides.
Andrea laid a hand on Merle's arm anxiously as she watched the two cross the hall. Merle shook his head and turned to pat Andrea's hand on his arm. "Don't worry, he won't hurt her. But maybe now he'll be ready to claim her like he should've months ago."
Daryl and Gillian continued their progress out the door, down the road and up the hill toward the cabin Daryl had been repairing for the two of them. When they reached the door, Daryl flung it open and flung Gillian into the room before slamming the door behind him. Gillian staggered and fell on the floor in the middle of the dimly lit room. For a moment the only sound in the room was their harsh breathing as they each struggled to gain some composure.
Daryl began to pace the room in agitation, practically snarling as he glared at Gillian. She in turn gave his glare right back to him, not backing down as he'd expected.
"What the fuck were you about up there in the hall then?" he at last spit out.
Gillian stood up shakily, trembling with her own rage. "It's called talking," she bit out.
"Don't talk to me like that!" Daryl yelled, pausing in his pacing to point at her.
"Talk to you like what?" she yelled back, beginning to pace her own self now.
"Like I'm some fucking dumbass," Daryl yelled back.
"Then quit acting like one!" Gillian spat back. She quickly backed up at the look of fury on his face as Daryl rushed at her.
"I ain't no dumbass, and I ain't been acting like one," he snarled as he leaned over her, bracing both hands on either side of her pinning her against the wall.
"What the fuck do you want from me Daryl?" Gillian grit out. "You don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me? I'm not living like that. And you aren't going to bully me around while you figure out what it is you do want," she whispered, her throat tight with unshed tears.
Daryl punched the wall beside her suddenly and Gillian screamed in surprise. "I built ya this place, I keep ya safe, how the fuck can ya say I don't want ya?" he rasped.
"I don't want to be your sister, Daryl, I want to be your lover. And if you don't want that then let me go to find someone who does," Gillian's voice broke as she started to sob.
Daryl pushed himself away from her and backed up a few steps. His fists clenched and unclenched and he trembled with pent up emotion. Finally he turned his back to her and drew in a deep breath. He threw his hand up in the air in dismissal and pointed at the door. "Never mind about it. There's the door, go on back ta Shane then ya dumb fuckin' spoiled ass bitch," he bit out angrily.
As he turned fully away from her, Gillian swept an object off the rickety table beside her-a half empty warm can of beer, and threw it at him. It went wide and banged into the wall he was walking toward.
"Fuck you, you ignorant redneck piece of trash," she yelled loudly at him.
Daryl whirled full around, his fists clenched at his side and his face now full red with his fury. Gillian had often seen him frustrated, disgusted and pissed-but she'd never seen him furious like he was now. She huffed out a breath and clenched her own fists.
Daryl advanced until they were chest to chest again. "You fuckin' little bitch," he hissed through his clenched teeth. Gillian's head snapped up at that, and he blinked at the look of hurt and anger and something else he couldn't decipher on her face. She raised a hand as if to strike him and he caught her small wrist and gripped it painfully, pulling it back down to her side.
"Fuck you Daryl. You can dish it out but you can't take it, is that it? You can call me and everyone else here stupid and dumb and bitches and assholes-anything you can fucking think of….but God forbid anybody throws it back at you," she spat out.
Daryl gripped both her shoulders suddenly and shook her. "Shut the fuck up, Gillian. I ain't listenin' to any more of your shit. Just shut the fuck up!" he yelled while shaking her.
Gillian tried unsuccessfully to wrench herself out of his grip, which only served to tighten his hold on her. She shook her head angrily. "I won't shut up! You can't make me! Go ahead, fucking hit me like you want to, you fucking jerk!"
Daryl raised a fist from her shoulder and shot it at the wall beside her head, startling another scream from her. Daryl yanked his hand from her other shoulder and stumbled back from her, his breath coming in rapid bursts. Daryl raised his hand and shuddered at the sight of his bleeding knuckles. That could have been her blood on his hands. He shuddered again and stumbled back again and sank to his knees, all his strength seemingly drained suddenly from him.
"Jesus," he whispered softly, gazing down at his bloodied knuckles as if he'd never seen his hand bloodied before. No doubt Gillian hated him now-and he deserved her hate. He'd acted just like his Pa-violent, bullying, he could have hurt her badly if he had struck her instead of the wall. He felt his face flush with the shame of it and knew he had to leave her. He couldn't bear the thought of the look on her face he would see if he stayed much longer-everything he'd always seen on anyone else's face would now be on hers too-disgust, contempt, acknowledgement that he was just trash, just like his father and brother. Who had he been kidding, thinking that now the world had gone to shit he had half a chance of changing his future from the path he had long been on because of the family he had been born into. He was an idiot, nothing, a nobody.
Daryl shook his head, "I'll leave. Done enough damage for one day. Expect yer glad to see me leave," he gritted out, stumbling and staggering back to his feet.
"No, don't you walk out that door Daryl Dixon," Gillian sobbed. "We've been circling around this thing for months and we're going to settle it. Either you want me or you don't. And if you want me then we're going to bed tonight and be together in every way a man and woman can be together. If you don't want me then you have to let me go and leave me be. I can't live like this any more."
Daryl closed his eyes and drew in a deep shuddering breath. "I ain't no Romeo girl. Got no game. Ain't been with many women. I ain't sure what you want from me," and his voice trailed off. Gillian walked over to where Daryl stood and placed her hand on his chest.
"I don't expect a Romeo. I don't want anybody smooth and practiced and deceitful. I'm not perfect, I don't expect you to be either. Just be yourself, let yourself just be you with me."
Daryl drew in another shaky breath. "You don't want me-I ain't no good. Hell even our kinfolk up here didn't never want nothing to do with us, me and Merle. We're Dixons-our Pa was an outsider, we're outsiders. Too trashy for other white trash to abide." He lay a hand over her smaller one on his chest.
Gillian ran her other hand over his cheek. "Oh Daryl, that's not how everyone sees you. That's not how I see you. You're the only one that sees you that way, you're the only one still holding your dad over your head now. Open your eyes, love, and let yourself see who you really are and always have been. The good man the rest of us see."
Daryl leaned his head forward until their two foreheads were touching. "That really how you see me?" he whispered uncertainly.
"Yes," Gillian whispered back, her hand caressing his cheek. "Truly."
They stood a moment longer in silence. Daryl slid his free hand over Gillian's hand on his cheek. "Can I ask ya something?" he whispered.
Gillian turned her hand and twined their fingers together. "Anything."
"What were ya sayin' ta Shane when I walked up?" He felt Gillian stiffen a little and sighed.
"I…..I told Shane I was pregnant," she whispered softly.
Daryl lifted his head and frowned at her in confusion. "What?"
Gillian ducked her head in embarrassment, her face flushing. "He said something smart to me, and I told him you and I have been sleeping together for months now and that I'm pregnant." She sighed and started to pull her hand away from his.
Daryl's grip on her hand tightened. "Hey," he whispered as he leaned forward again and softly kissed the crown of her head. "We can't let him call ya a liar, can we?"
Gillian looked up quickly. Daryl gazed at her thoughtfully. "C'mon ta bed, girl. We got some catchin' up ta do," he rasped. Gillian's mouth fell open and Daryl closed it softly with his finger. "Just remember I ain't no Romeo, this ain't gonna be like in some of them romance novels ya girls read," he stuttered out.
Gillian smiled softly up at him. "Don't know what you're talking about, never read those anyway," she breathed out softly.
Daryl smiled a tiny smile back at her and began to pull her toward the bedroom. "How far along are ya anyway?" he smirked.
Gillian laughed and batted her hand at his arm. "I told Shane I just found out," she replied.
"Well then we need to get to work so we got the timeline right when the baby comes," he whispered as he pulled Gillian into the bedroom and shut the door behind them.