When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them.
It doesn't matter if you've got the capability of a war-driven stallion within you. Sometimes the age speaks for itself. You can have it all and be it all, but the bottom line remains and you suddenly remember that you're a kid.
You often find yourself wondering why the good lord above has stacked so much baggage on your teetering shoulders and get this sort of nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach because the biggest bane of all follows you around like a bad cold; romance.
It's not as if you could ever take the people in your life for granted. You're well aware of the fact that karma will rape at its hardest and leave you with fresh wounds if you dare to fuck with the harmony. But still, you have to wonder why it's always the guys that pursue you. Your blatant girliness is often the last resort when explanations escape you.
Said pursuers aren't bad guys at all but they couldn't be any more different in how they behave around you. There are days where you think about this and get a chuckle. There's Joe who treats you like a priceless antique and walks around as if he's afraid of you. He's unsure of what he wants and this in turn charms you enough to deal with his affections. He loves you. You know this and somewhere along the lines you've grown to love him too.
Then there's Riley and just thinking about him makes you tense up. You feel safe around him and yet your meetings, short as they may be, always result in you questioning just how stable of an individual he really is. He treats you well enough but unlike Joe, he knows exactly what he wants and never hesitates in taking it like a pro. You don't know if he loves you and deep down, you don't think you'll ever really find out.
The fact that you're nowhere near being an adult seems to escape the both of them. Joe looks to you with the unabashed gaze of an adoring lover and Riley's eyes speak of hunger and solid confidence in both himself and your weak resolve.
You enjoy being in Joe's arms and knowing that despite his boyish fears, he'll hold onto you with all he has. You relish in the feel of resting your wearied head on Riley's more than capable shoulder because you're certain that he'll go on supporting you till the end.
Joe makes you feel loved and accepted. Joe makes you feel important.
Riley makes you feel desirable and dainty. Riley makes you feel beautiful.
But when you're fifteen, decisions are best left to be put off for as long as you have the power to do so. You're only fifteen once and you figure you might as well enjoy the ride before it all comes crashing down.
You're fifteen and the world slowly crumbles before you.