When I began to write 'All That Matters', I didn't mean for it to be half as long as it ended up, and I certainly had no plans for a sequel. But as I was writing the last chapters, I felt as if it really was only the first part of a longer story, and so I started to write this. Again, I have no idea how long this story will be, although I do have a few chapters already half-finished.
Enjoy!
Summer 1921
Matthew opened his eyes and smiled as he took in the wonderful presence of his wife, her familiar weight resting on his chest. He took in the scent of her; vanilla, spice, sweat. He took in the sound of her breathing, even and soft. He took in the feel of her; her soft, smooth skin on his, her slight movement as she breathed in and out. It felt as if every inch of his skin that she was touching was tingling. He took in the silky brown hair, loose this morning after… last night. Oh, last night had been good.
He loved watching her sleep. He couldn't exactly say that she was more beautiful when she was asleep; she was so perfectly beautiful all of the time, there was no such thing as 'more beautiful' where Mary was concerned. It was more that she was a different kind of beautiful when she was sleeping. She was not the famous society beauty, Lady Mary Crawley. She was not the lovely eldest daughter of the Earl of Grantham. She was simply his wife, his darling Mary. She was sweet and innocent and looked so at peace.
He could lie here and watch her for hours. He did, actually, quite frequently; Mary slept better and longer than he did. They had been married for over two years now; all those hours had probably added up to several full days by now. All that time, and he still marvelled at it every day, the fact that she was here, with him. The feeling was familiar now, but it would never become any less special, and no moment with Mary would ever feel any less precious just because of the familiarity. Yes, life was good.
He felt her begin to stir on his chest. She murmured something unintelligible and snuggled closer to him. He moved his arm, which was draped around her, and began to rub little circles on her warm skin.
Mary slowly became aware of the pleasant sensation of Matthew's hand on her skin. She sighed happily. She loved being woken up each morning like this. The peacefulness of it and the gentleness with which Matthew touched her filled her with a warm contentment. For this short while every day, it was just them in the world. She wondered whether every married couple felt this way. No, she decided, this was so perfect, so special, she couldn't imagine anyone else experiencing anything that was even comparable to this. There was no woman in the world as fortunate as she was, because no other woman in the world had Matthew as her husband.
She kissed his chest, then turned so she could look up into those mesmerising blue eyes.
"Good morning darling," she whispered.
"Good morning," Matthew replied, smiling. "Did you sleep well?"
"I slept wonderfully when I actually got to sleep, which was rather late, as I recall, thanks to you," she said, raising her eyebrows.
Matthew smirked. "You're not complaining are you? Besides, it takes two to do what we did last night."
"Of course I'm not complaining. Why on earth would I be complaining? I'd happily never sleep again if it meant I could spend every night like that."
"Really? I'm not sure I believe you. You like your sleep, darling," Matthew said, thinking of how irritable and grumpy Mary could be if she was woken too early.
"Not as much as I like you," Mary replied, and she moved further up the bed so she could kiss him.
When she drew away, she looked at him seductively. "Well, maybe I do need some sleep. But we're not going to go back to sleep now are we? So we may as well put the time before breakfast to good use. I assume you have no objections?"
"None whatsoever," Matthew breathed, and they proceeded to put the time before Anna came in to very good use indeed.
That morning, Robert, Mary and Matthew were going for a tour around the estate. They made sure to do this at least once every week, always with the three of them; Robert insisted that Matthew be equally involved in the running of the estate as he was, and Matthew insisted that Mary had as much right as he did to know what was going on and be involved in decisions.
Their system worked well. Matthew would, for the most part, stay in the car and read over papers and plans and legal documents. Robert would talk to the tenants, and Mary would be Matthew's eyes and ears in places he couldn't get to. Increasingly, she was coming up with her own plans and ideas, and with much encouragement from Matthew, Robert was beginning to value her contributions as much as he valued her husband's.
The pigs had been her idea. She had taken to reading the farming journals Anthony passed on to Matthew, although she rarely read all the way through, and it was from one of these that she had got the idea that pigs would be profitable. Robert had taken some persuading, but he had been brought around, and in the months since the pigs had arrived, they had thrived.
Drewe's pigs were the last stop on their tour that morning. This was always Mary's favourite place, because she knew that it had been her idea, and that it was turning out brilliantly. Matthew had always told her that she had every right to be involved in the running of the estate, and that she was clever and knew enough about the land to be very good at it, but she had taken quite a while to believe him completely. She had never forgotten her Father's words when she had asked about it as a child. It was 'men's work' and she needn't worry about it was all he had said, but even as a child, Mary had been able to hear the unspoken words behind the audible ones: women were not clever or competent enough to be involved; it was not their place.
When Mr Drewe's father had died, and he had asked to be allowed to take on the tenancy and farm his father's land, despite the fact the elder Mr Drewe had failed to pay the rent for longer than anyone had cared to count. While she, Matthew and Robert had all hated the thought of throwing the family out, after they had farmed that land for generations, they had thought they had little choice, knowing that they had to be consistent and fair and not lose money if the estate was to have a chance of surviving the difficult years ahead. Then Mary had tentatively suggested that it should be Mr Drewe who took on the experiment of the pigs; if the scheme made money, it would make up for the years of unpaid rent, and Drewe was the only farmer willing to try something new.
Now, over half a year since the deal had been made, this was the most prosperous farm of its size on the estate, and recently, Anthony and Edith had for once taken advice from them and had bought their own pigs.
The car stopped and Stark, the chauffeur, handed her out of the car. She always thought this was rather funny, as she would soon be checking the pigs in their muddy pen, but Stark was well trained, and wouldn't have dreamed of not handing a Lady out of any car he drove. As this was the last stop on their tour, and they were likely to have a lengthy and detailed conversation with Mr Drewe, Stark then helped Matthew out of the car and into his chair. Matthew wheeled himself towards the front door, and Mary and Robert followed.
Mr Drewe had heard the car, and as the only car that ever brought visitors to his farm was from the big house, he knew immediately who was there and opened the door before his visitors had reached it.
"Lord Grantham, Lady Mary, Mr Crawley, come in," he said, doffing his cap and smiling.
"Mr Drewe," Matthew answered, extending his hand. Drewe took it and shook it warmly. Mary helped Matthew over the doorstep and they went inside. The cottage was fairly large compared to some on the estate, and although it was furnished simply, it was warm and homely.
They went to sit at the kitchen table, as they always did, and Mary placed the papers she had been carrying on the table. They proceeded to discuss the business that had brought them there, and were brought tea and scones by a shy but friendly Mrs Drewe.
Mary smiled to herself as she watched Matthew consume one scone after another, and when she saw he had a little jam on his cheek, it was all she could do not to lick it off herself. The love and desire she had felt for him that morning had not lessened, and she was too busy watching him to really pay attention to what was being said.
"Mary?" Robert's voice cut across her thoughts.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't… what did you say?" she asked, blushing so slightly, it was only perceptible to Matthew.
"I was asking if you wanted to go out and see the pigs, Mi'lady," Drewe said.
Mary nodded and rose from her chair.
"We'll go back to the car," Robert said, having no wish to get muddy.
"I won't be too long," Mary said as she followed Drew out the back door while Robert and Matthew left through the front.
She spent a few minutes talking with Drewe outside the pen, then they went in through the gate. Mary carefully looked all the pigs over, treading carefully on the slippery ground so as not to get any muddier than necessary, and was pleased to see they all looked to be in perfect health. When she had finished, she was just walking towards the gate to leave, when one of the pigs came up behind her and nudged her leg. She was wearing sturdy boots, not impractical heels, but the ground was muddy and she slipped. Before she knew what was happening, she was on the floor.
"Mi'lady!" she heard Drewe say. "Are you alright?"
Mary closed her eyes. She had a choice between the easy option of retreating behind her mask of haughty, aristocratic superiority, or laughing it off. Of course her pride had been hurt, but she had built up a good relationship with Drewe, and she needed that to continue. She could do this; Matthew was waiting in the car, she only had to get that far and everything would be alright.
"Perfectly fine, thank you Mr Drewe, apart from a little mud on my clothes. But then, what must one expect if one is to go into a pig pen?" she said as she pushed herself to her feet almost gracefully, and smiled at the farmer. "I think perhaps the pigs have had enough of me for one day. They seem healthy and happy, although of course you are the expert, not me."
"Thank you, Mi'lady, but if I may say, you are becoming quite the expert yourself."
Mary walked carefully to the gate, then went around the house to the car. Matthew and Robert were talking seriously and looking at some papers in the car. They heard her coming and looked up at the same time, their eyes widening in shock when they took in her appearance.
"Mary? What happened?" Robert asked.
"Apparently, the pigs and I are not such good friends as I thought; one of them ran into me and caused me to fall in the mud," Mary replied lightly as she climbed into the car.
Matthew squeezed her hand, knowing that whatever front she was putting on, her pride would have been hurt.
"Anna's going to have her work cut out cleaning these," she said, looking down at her clothes with a wry smile. "I'm glad that was the last farm for this morning. I am in need of a hot bath."
By the time she was sitting at the table for luncheon, washed and dressed in clean clothes, Mary had recovered from the injury to her pride. Matthew had only had to raise his eyebrows in the right way when she told him what had happened for her to realise that it was quite amusing, although it would have been far funnier had it happened to someone else.
Halfway though luncheon, Robert looked across he table at Cora and said, "Shrimpy's written asking us again to go and stay at Duneagle in September, like we used to before the war. He wants to get to know my three sons in law." He smiled at Matthew. "He was at Edith's wedding, but there were so many guests, there was hardly enough time for a 'how do you do'."
"Of course we'll go. We've not been for years, and it's such a beautiful place," Cora said.
Mary looked at Matthew and remembered he didn't quite know what they were talking about.
"Since before I can remember, we've always gone up to the Highlands to stay with Shrimpy at Duneagle in September. We only stopped going because of the war, and I suppose then we got out of the habit. Papa goes deerstalking and fishing with Shrimpy and some of his friends and we go for walks and picnics. And the highlight of the visit is always the Ghillies ball, which is always wonderful. It really is the most beautiful house, a castle really."
"Is that the place Rose hates so much?" Matthew asked.
"Yes, but only because she says it's boring. She loves it when we visit, and she loves the ball; it's the best chance she gets to meet handsome young men," Mary replied.
"Will Sybil and Tom be able to get the time off work?" Matthew wondered, doubting that anyone else in the family would have thought of anything so practical.
"I hope so. I hadn't thought of that," Robert said worriedly. "I'm afraid after all this time, I'm still not used to the idea of my daughter working."
"I'll write this afternoon," Cora said. "As for Edith and Anthony, they're coming for dinner tonight, along with Isobel and Mama. Edith telephoned yesterday and invited herself over and asked that Mama and Isobel be there too. She was rather secretive about why."
"I hope it's nothing bad," Robert said, frowning.
"She didn't sound unhappy or worried. She just said we'd have to wait and see."
Edith couldn't stop smiling. She felt like singing as she was dressing before leaving for Downton. After all these months, all the worry and the disappointment, she finally had everything she wanted. Anthony, of course, had been delighted, and had hardly left her alone since she had told him. She was looking forward to telling everyone so much.
When the car drew up outside the front door, she almost didn't wait for the chauffeur before stepping out. She beamed at Carson, who met them at the door. She knew he didn't feel for her like he felt for Mary. She had always been second best to Mary. But tonight was her night. Tonight, she was the one who was happy and successful. She had finally done something before Mary, she thought triumphantly.
But then she shook herself. No, that was wrong, that was unkind. She was so exquisitely happy, so triumphant at her success, but that didn't mean she had the right to be cruel.
They were greeted by the family in the drawing room; Isobel and Violet had already arrived. Edith was pressed by everyone to reveal her secret, but she remained silent on the subject. They would have to wait until she and Anthony decided it was time. She would announce it over dinner, for maximum impact. She smiled in anticipation.
Everyone in the room watched Edith over dinner. She looked happy and almost smug and could hardly keep her eyes off her husband.
When everyone had finished eating, Edith nodded at Anthony and they stood up.
"I know everyone is wondering what our news is. Well, I'm pregnant!" she said, beaming.
"Oh my darling girl!" Cora cried and rose instantly to go around the table to embrace her daughter.
Edith felt her eyes filling with tears of joy. She could still hardly believe that this was really happening. She had given up on the idea of children, thinking there must be something wrong with her, or that Anthony was just too old. And now she really was going to be a mother. She buried he head in her mother's shoulder.
To her surprise, the next person at her side with congratulations was Mary.
It was a surprise to Mary too. This was Edith, her sister whom she had been at odds with since before either of them could remember. But she was genuinely happy for her little sister. They got on a lot better now they did not live together, and now Mary found herself almost ecstatically happy that Edith had what she wanted. She embraced her sister and smiled.
"I'm happy for you Edith, truly. After all this time… how far along are you?"
"The doctor said his best guess was that I'd have my baby in my arms in early February," Edith said happily. "Oh Mary, I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life! How will I ever wait all those months?"
"Well it's not as if you have a choice," Mary said drily, then laughed. "Sorry, that didn't sound as nice as I mean to sound now. You won't mind the wait, I shouldn't think; Sybil positively glowed until the last week or so."
"I've not been glowing much recently. Morning sickness is horrendous; it's like a stomach bug that goes on for weeks, but worse," Edith complained quietly.
Mary squeezed her sister's hand reassuringly. "Well, it will pass soon enough. I can't believe how excited I am! I can't wait to meet my new niece or nephew."
Mary then had to leave Edith so she could be congratulated by the rest of the family. She went back to her chair and Matthew came over to her.
"You really are pleased for her, aren't you?" he said, smiling. "I never thought this day would come when I first knew you two. Whatever has changed?"
"We have, both of us. The war, growing up, and of course you and Anthony. You make me a far better person than I would be without you, darling, and Anthony is so good at soothing Edith when she gets all jealous or irritated. It's easy to be kind when you're happy. Besides, I have more important things to do and think about than baiting Edith."
"Like what?"
"Like showing you how much I love you," she said, and she leaned closer to Matthew so they could kiss. She knew it was mad, but while she was happy for her sister, she didn't want to think about the fact that she wasn't likely to have that happiness for herself, and the best way to stop herself thinking these thoughts was to concentrate on what she did have.
"Mary, the whole family is here," Matthew whispered as her lips came closer to his.
"Oh, they're all too busy fussing over Edith," she breathed and she kissed him before he could object.
Most of the family were indeed fussing over Edith and Anthony, but Isobel was not. She was very fond of Edith of course, but after offering her congratulations, she thought it best to leave her with her close family at such a happy time. She went to sit down again, and looked across the table. She smiled and shook her head when she saw her son and daughter in law kissing passionately, oblivious to their surroundings. This was not exactly an unusual sight, but it was rather amusing to see it at the dinner table.
She sighed as she thought how they should have been parents by now. Matthew, she knew, would have been such a wonderful father, and she thought Mary would make a good mother too. If it hadn't been for the war… But although she wouldn't have a grandchild, she did at least still have her son, which was more than many mothers could say. And in Mary, she had found the daughter she had never had. Yes, she was a lucky woman, and Matthew and Mary were lucky to have each other, whatever they did not have.
"I don't think I'll go to Scotland in September," Matthew said to Mary as they lay in bed with their arms draped over and around each other after making love.
"Why ever not?" Mary asked, frowning a little. "We always used to go, and you're part of the family now. Don't tell me you don't want to go on holiday to a beautiful place. Of course we're going."
"I didn't say you shouldn't go. Just me."
"Why on earth…? You know there's no chance I'm going anywhere without you. It will be such fun, it always is. It is so beautiful up there."
"And what precisely am I to do there, Mary?"
"What do you mean? There's always so much to do, we never have a free day. You know what Rose is like."
"No. Not for me. You'll go for walks in the countryside and the men will go deerstalking. What's the point of me going to sit around the house all day?"
Mary's heart clenched as she suddenly realised the reason behind Matthew's reluctance. Of course he wouldn't be able to go out shooting with the other men, why on earth had it not occurred to her before? And the ball, which she loved so very much, would not be fun for him either.
"Oh, my darling," she murmured, stroking his hair gently. "But would it really be so terrible to have to spend the days with me?"
"No, of course that's not what I meant. It's just…" Matthew trailed off, hoping Mary would understand his dislike of being the only man unable to take part in the sport. He knew this was rather silly anyway, since he had never greatly enjoy killing innocent animals for pleasure, but he simply wished he had the option.
"It won't just be you; Anthony won't be going shooting either," Mary said softly.
"Will he and Edith be going, after this evening's news?"
"Of course. A woman does not suddenly become useless and helpless and unfit for travel when she is pregnant, and Edith will only be about four months along by then. I would be willing to bet a lot of money that your mother didn't sit quietly at home when she was expecting you."
"And I would not take you up on that bet; I'd be sure to lose my money. I take your point and apologise. But even so, I'm not sure about going." He thought for a minute, searching for any excuse. "It's not fair to make William leave Daisy when they've only just had a baby. Bobby's only three or four months old. And I couldn't go without William."
"I know, and of course William will want to be with his wife and son. But Matthew, we're only going for ten days. And I know William is your friend, but we pay him for goodness sake! And I am certain he won't complain. No, you are not using William as an excuse."
"But Mary, it really isn't fair-" Matthew began to protest but Mary interrupted.
"Well, you're suggesting that I ought to go without you, so does that mean you want to be with me less than William wants to be with Daisy?"
"No, of course not! I want to be with you very much, darling. But I know you want to go, and I want you to enjoy yourself. And… we've not just had a baby."
Mary thought for a minute, frowning as she tried to think of a solution. Then a smile spread slowly across her face. "No, we haven't just had a baby, but Sybil and Tom are going to have Emmeline with them, and they don't have a nanny for her. Daisy could bring Robert, and look after Emmeline while we're there." She looked pleased with herself.
"Mary, why do you insist on calling him Robert when his parents, and everyone else, call him Bobby?" Matthew asked, laughing.
"Because that's his name. I don't like nicknames. And don't change the subject. We need to make a decision."
"Alright, alright. Is it alright for a baby that young to travel all that way?" Matthew asked, slightly embarrassed that he knew nothing whatsoever about babies.
"I can't see why not," Mary replied, trying not to let on that she didn't really know any more than Matthew did.
"And will it be alright with Lord and Lady Flintshire, to have an extra baby in their house? And what if they don't want to come?"
"Of course it will be fine with Shrimpy and Susan, they'll barely notice, and surely William and Daisy will enjoy a holiday?"
Matthew continued to frown, trying half-heartedly to think of another excuse.
"I'm not going without you, and that is final. And don't you dare say the journey's too long; it isn't much further than London, and we've been there twice." Mary said firmly, knowing precisely what was going on in Matthew's mind. "We're invited, and it would be rude to refuse, especially when Shrimpy asked so specifically to get to know you, Anthony and Tom. And I don't care what you say now, I am certain you will enjoy it when we get there."
Matthew continued to look sceptical, but Mary could tell he was slowly coming round.
"Please?" she asked softly.
Matthew sighed. He just couldn't say no to her. She clearly wanted to go so much, and he doubted he would be able to persuade her to go alone. So really, he had no choice.
"Fine," he said quietly.
Mary smiled brightly. "So you'll come then?"
"Yes, I suppose I will. You've given me very little choice," he replied, smiling despite his concerns. Mary knew exactly how to persuade him into things.
"Thank you, darling, for doing this for me. I promise it will be wonderful; Shrimpy will have something planned that you and Anthony can do I'm sure." She kissed him again, then reached out to stroke his hair. "I love you."
"As I love you. Goodnight Mary."
"Goodnight darling."
Before anyone gets worried, I solemnly swear that there will be no fatal car crashes in this story.
I plan to post the next chapter quite soon, but after that I don't know how regularly I will be able to update.
I'd love to hear what you think about this first chapter, and while I can't promise to reply to every review, I will make more of an effort than I did with my last story, as I'm now a little more familiar with how the whole thing works than I was then.