Cast Off

"What's taking him so long?" Sabertooth grunted while standing in the shade. "He better not be goofing off in there."

"I am sure Remy will be out soon," Piotr sighed leaning against a tree. "He does have to get quite a lot of stuff."

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy," Pyro giggled excitedly. "This is gonna fun! Great! Wonderful! Grand! Fantastic! Why are we all out here again?"

"We are here because Magneto kicked us out of the base so he could fix it up after the jungle board game incident," Piotr explained patiently. "And since he did not want to risk our activities ending up on the evening news again he dropped us off here."

"Which is why we are stuck at this lake out in the middle of who-knows-where for who-knows-how long until the boss decides to pick us back up. If he decides to pick us back up," Sabertooth snorted. "You'd remember all this if you hadn't landed on your head after Magneto threw you out of the traveling sphere."

"Oh yeah. I was wondering why my noggin hurt," Pyro blinked. "So that's why we decided to go fishing, right?"

"Yes, that's why we decided to go fishing," Sabertooth grunted sarcastically. "As if there was anything else to do around here."

"At least it is a nice day," Piotr gazed out at the shimmering water of the large lake. The Acolytes were waiting under some trees next to a small lakeside bait shop. "Only a few clouds and hardly any breeze."

"Yeah, and we can build a big fire pit and roast all the fish over it when we're done! Hahahahaha!" Pyro laughed maniacally.

"Oh boy," Piotr groaned.

"Okay, I'm back," Remy appeared next to them with his arms full of fishing equipment. He carefully set it all out on the ground. "Help yourselves."

"About time," Sabertooth grunted. "We could've hiked around the whole lake twice while waiting for you to come out. Hey, you didn't even get the important stuff!"

"Yes I did," Remy said. "I got rods, reels, lures, tackle boxes..."

"Forget that junk. I'm talking about beer," Sabertooth growled. "How can you even think about going fishing without a cooler full of beer?"

"Hey, I got everything I thought we'd need," Remy snapped and jerked his thumb back at the bait shop. "If you wanna go get more stuff, be my guest."

"Fine," Sabertooth grunted as he stomped off. "Gotta do everything myself..."

"Alright! This is gonna be fun!" Pyro chirped slipping on a life vest. "Where are all the hooks and jigs and stuff?"

"In the tackle boxes," Remy said picking out a fishing rod. "I filled 'em up while I was in the store."

"Good," Piotr selected a rod and tackle box. "It was really generous of you to buy all this fishing equipment for us Remy."

"Uh, buy. Right," Remy whistled innocently as the Acolytes headed down to the nearby fishing dock.

Pyro dropped back behind Piotr and casually sided up next to Remy. "So how many people did you have to avoid in there?" Pyro whispered.

"Just the owner," Remy grinned. "One quick shot of knockout gas and he was out like a light. In a few hours he'll wake up and think he just took a long nap."

"Neat," Pyro giggled.

"Ah," Piotr reached the end of the dock and opened up his tackle box. "This place does look promising. I think I will try a..."

"Whoa, what do you think you're doing there homme?" Remy cut Piotr short. "We're not gonna stay here and fish from a dock all day. We're taking a boat."

"A boat?" Piotr blinked at the line of ten-foot fishing boats tied up to the dock. "But these are not ours."

"So what's your point?" Remy asked.

"But...but this is stealing," Piotr objected.

"No, it's borrowing," Remy pointed out. "We're just gonna take them out, fish for a while and bring 'em right back when we're done."

"But...but..." Piotr sputtered.

"Come on Piotr," Remy coaxed smoothly. "The boats are just sitting here. Waiting, fueled, fully equipped. It's not like they're chained up or anything."

"The motors are," Piotr pointed out.

"Well yeah, but they're chained to the boats to prevent being stolen and we're not gonna steal the motors, technically," Remy said. "We're just gonna borrow the boats with their motors. No one's even gonna notice. And we'll be able to fish any part of the lake instead of just staying here."

"Yeah. Please Colossus?" Pyro looked up at him with big puppy dog eyes. "Please, please, please?"

"All right," Piotr sighed and gave in.

"Yay!" Pyro cheered and hopped into a boat. "I'll drive!"

"Oh no you won't!" Remy reached down, grabbed Pyro and hauled him to the middle seat. He then took the stern seat for himself. "You'll get to drive right after you pry the motor handle from my cold, dead body."

"Awww," Pyro pouted.

"That's better," Remy stowed his gear and untied the boat from the dock. He looked up at Piotr. "These boats aren't really built to comfortably hold all four of us. I'll head out with Pyro and you can go with Sabes."

"Okay," Piotr agreed.

"Bye Colossus!" Pyro waved as Remy shoved them away from the dock. "Hoo-roo!"

"Bye," Piotr waved back.

"Oh boy!" Pyro chirped as Remy started the engine and they took off across the water. "This is gonna be great! I haven't gone fishing in years!"

"You've actually been fishing before?" Remy asked.

"Oh yeah. I used to going fishing back when I was in the Boy Scouts," Pyro explained. "It was fun! We'd go out on fishing trips and catch all kinds of stuff. Cobbers, flatheads, old boots, tin cans. One time I caught this old station wagon and we managed to haul it back to shore. It didn't run of course, but the decayed donkey corpse inside helped cover the smell of burning metal after I set the whole thing on fire. I didn't even know donkeys could drive back then."

"Oh boy," Remy groaned. "Sounds like the time I went fishing when I was nine and caught three Swiss watches and a couple of dead bodies."

"You what?" Pyro blinked.

"Yep. Caught them all stuffed in plastic bags no more than a hundred yards from my back door," Remy added. "Not surprising considering who our neighbors were."

"Wow Gambit. I didn't know you knew how to fish," Pyro said.

"Of course I do," Remy huffed. "Catching and cooking fresh pan-fried fish is one of the many benefits of living in the bayou. I used to go fishing with members of my family several times when I was a kid. It was one of the few pure leisure activities we ever did together."

"Huh. My family never did anything like that," Pyro commented. "The only thing my fascist parents ever did near water was take me shark watching."

"Shark watching?" Remy blinked.

"Oh yeah. They'd rent a boat and we would all go out to where the sharks like to hang around off the coast," Pyro explained. "Then they'd tie me to a line, hand me a snorkel mask and toss me overboard to look for sharks. It was a lot of fun, but for some reason they never went into the water themselves."

"Gee, I wonder why," Remy rolled his eyes.

"And we always seemed to suffer some sort of weird accident right after I'd hit the water," Pyro went on. "Like the line I was attached to would get cut on something, or the boat motor would suddenly start up, or the blood pudding my fascist parents had packed for lunch would fly overboard and smack me in the head."

"Oh boy," Remy groaned. "Did you ever even see any sharks?"

"You bet I did. Oh, they were huge!" Pyro spread out his arms to show the size. "They'd swim right up to me and smile showing all their teeth. I always tried to pet them, but they'd turn away after I lit up the underwater flares I'd smuggle along in my swim suit."

"Nice to see it's true what they say about fate protecting fools and little kids," Remy muttered. "How did you manage to keep yourself from drowning?"

"Well I always wore a life jacket and occasionally I'd have to wait around a while until another boat came by, spotted me and picked me up," Pyro explained. "But usually the light from my flares would attract a small school of dolphins. They'd scare the sharks away, slide me onto their backs and carry me to shore. It was great! And when I'd show up back at the docks all safe and sound my fascist parents would always break down and cry."

"Who wouldn't?" Remy drawled.

"Thought they always seemed to smell like alcohol when I'd get back," Pyro recalled. "Which is weird since they never smelled that way when we'd take off. And the dolphins sure didn't seem to like it. One time they got too close to my parents and started to drag them underwater and..."

"Okay, that's enough of that," Remy cut him off. He steered the boat just off a large patch of lily pads and carefully cut the engine. Several long lake weeds could be seen just beneath the surface near their boat. "This looks like a good spot to fish. Let's drop anchor here."

"Yay!" Pyro cheered as Remy quietly did so. Pyro grabbed his fishing rod and fixed it with a large red and white bobber and jig. "Bet I catch more fish than you!"

"In your dreams," Remy rolled his eyes.

"Scared?" Pyro taunted.

"Fine. You've asked for it," Remy took his rod and quickly attached a hook, plastic worm and sinker. "Bring it on!"

"Oh it's on!" Pyro laughed and pulled back for a cast. "Let's go!"

"Are you sure about this?" Piotr asked nervously.

"Course I'm sure," Sabertooth growled back. "Haven't you ever gone trolling before?"

"No," Piotr looked over Sabertooth's shoulder to where his fishing line disappeared beneath the boat's wake. He and Sabertooth were cruising across the lake with Sabertooth in the stern seat. "I have never done anything like this. All the fishing I have done has always been from shore."

"Amateur," Sabertooth snorted and took a gulp of beer. A large orange cooler sat on the floor in front of him. He drained the beer can, crushed it and dropped it next to his feet. "You don't know what you've been missing."

"I do not see how this is supposed to work," Piotr said grasping his fishing rod. "Won't the noise from the motor scare all the fish away?"

"Not the ones you're trying to catch," Sabertooth replied. "Let me know when you get a strike."

"A what?" Piotr blinked.

"A strike," Sabertooth repeated. "When it feels like something is tugging on the end of the line."

"It has felt that way ever since we sped away from the dock," Piotr said. "The large lure you insisted I put on has quite a lot of resistance...yikes!" Piotr yelped as the rod was nearly yanked out of his grasp. He held on to it tightly. "I think I have one!"

"Reel it in!" Sabertooth cut the motor and watched as Piotr struggled with his rod. "Come on Russian! Hurry up!"

"I am trying!" Piotr grunted as he quickly worked the reel. He looked over the gunwale and saw the large northern pike he managed to hook. "Wow. It is big!"

"Looks like a six-pounder," Sabertooth noted as Piotr brought the fish right next to the boat. "Not bad for a first time. Now reach down, grab the lure and lift the fish out."

"Okay," Piotr did so and brought the fish into the boat. He held it up and smiled at his success. "That was much more difficult that catching a fish from shore...ow!" Piotr yelped as the northern trashed about and bit one of his fingers. He instinctively let go.

"Watch it...arrrgggh!" Sabertooth snarled as the northern shook free of the lure and flew into his face. It slapped him around for a second before kicking loose and falling back into the lake.

"Oops," Piotr gulped nursing his bleeding finger. "Maybe I should have used the net."

"Oops is right!" Sabertooth shouted wiping fish slime from his face. "You just lost the fish! Pike have teeth, lamebrain! Pay attention next time, will ya?"

"I will and I am sorry," Piotr looked down at his hand. "But I did not know. I have never caught one of those before.

"Well now you have, so stop moping around," Sabertooth reached for the motor's starting cord. "Ready your line and let's head out again."

"Hello!"

"Huh?" Piotr looked around and spotted a short-haired man in a light khaki outfit and dark hat move towards them in another boat.

"You boys fishing?" The man called out to them.

"Who wants to know?" Sabertooth growled back.

"I do," The man flashed them a badge. "I'm the local game warden. I need to see your fishing licenses."

"Fishing licenses?" Piotr blinked. "You need to be licensed in order to catch fish? Do you need to take a test for that?"

"Oh brother," Sabertooth groaned. "And I thought Pyro was dumb."

"You boys do have fishing licenses, don't you?" The game warden asked.

"Yeah, we got 'em," Sabertooth called out. "Come on over and I'll show them to you."

"Okay," The game warden slowed his boat and prepared to pull up along side them.

"Oh good," Sabertooth grinned and readied his claws for a fight.

"Oh no," Piotr groaned and resignedly covered his eyes.

"Hehehehehe!" Pyro laughed as his bobber was pulled down beneath the water's surface once again. He reeled in his line and brought a large speckled papermouth to the surface. "Caught another one!"

"Yeah, yeah," Remy grumbled as he stared at his untouched fishing line.

"Oh boy! That makes eight!" Pyro giggled as he unhooked his fish.

"Just wait," Remy muttered while gently reeling in some slack. "As soon as I find out where they're hiding...aha!" He crowned as he felt a slight tug on his line. He immediately set the hook. "I got one!"

"Uh huh," Pyro said absently as he slipped his catch into the enclosed tub they had found onboard and turned into a livewell.

"I knew I'd get one!" Remy grinned as he excitedly reeled in his line. "It's putting up a real fight! It must be huge! I bet it's a largemouth bass! No, maybe it's a musky! No...it's...it's..." Remy pulled the tip of his rod up and revealed his catch.

"It's a clump of weeds," Pyro noted.

"I CAN SEE IT'S SOME WEEDS!" Remy shouted. He grabbed the clump of weeds and angrily threw it back into the water.

"Don't fret, mate," Pyro said as he made another cast. "At least you caught the salad for the trip."

"Aaarrrggghhh!" Remy yelled in frustration. "I don't believe this! Why can't I catch anything?"

"Maybe you're using the wrong kind of bait," Pyro suggested.

"What are you taking about?" Remy looked at him. "I've caught lots of fish using worms rigged like this. Bass, beam, bluegills, catfish..."

"Yeah, well maybe there aren't any bass or beam or catfish in this lake," Pyro pointed out. "Though there do seem to be lots and lots of papermouths. Hey, I think I caught another one!"

"I can see that," Remy gritted his teeth as Pyro reeled in another fish.

"Try using a beetle spinner," Pyro suggested as he unhooked his fish. "You can catch anything with a beetle spinner."

"Really?" Remy rolled his eyes, but did as Pyro suggested. "Well, here it goes." He pulled back and made a long cast. "There. Now let's see what I can...dang it!" Remy swore as his fishing reel's bail failed to close and fishing line went everywhere.

"Uh oh," Pyro noted. "Rat's nest."

"Great. Just bloody great," Remy cursed as he began to pull apart the mess of fishing line. "I'm really starting to hate this place."

"Come on Gambit. It's not that bad," Pyro waved. "You're just mad because you haven't caught anything yet."

"Says the guy who's been catching one fish practically every other minute," Remy grumbled as he picked at the mess. "How the heck did this thing get tangled up so fast...huh?" Remy blinked as something began to rapidly pull his fishing line away into the lake. "What the...?"

"Hey! I think you caught something!" Pyro squealed.

"Wait! I haven't untangled this yet...waaauuuggghhh!" Remy screamed as the mess of fishing line quickly tightened around his hands, securing him to the rod. The thing on the end of line gave a mighty yank, knocked Remy off balance and pulled him into the lake.

PA-LOOOOOOSSSHHH!

"Wow! That's one strong fish!" Pyro blinked as an enormous walleye jumped up with Remy's beetle spinner in its mouth before diving down once again. "Maybe it's a mutant!"

"BLUBBBUULLUUBBUULLUUBB!" Remy sputtered as he was towed along the water's surface. "THE FISHING LINE'S WRAPPED AROUND MY GLOVES! I CAN'T FREE MY HANDS! GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"'Attaway Gambit! Don't let it get away!" Pyro cheered. "Stay with him!"

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!" Remy screamed as he was dragged away. "AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!"

"Hey! Wait for me!" Pyro shouted and turned toward the boat's motor with a grin. "Let's fire this baby up!"

"Well that was almost halfway entertaining," Sabertooth grunted as he gripped the motor handle.

"I can not believe you did that," Piotr shook his head in disappointment. "Was it really necessary to shred the game warden's clothes and leave him in the bottom of his boat tied up with fishing line?"

"Eh, who cares? He looked like he could use a good tan anyway," Sabertooth shrugged as he steered their boat toward the shallows. "It's not like I ripped his tongue out for calling me a Bigfoot impersonator."

"No, but you did stuff his mouth full of wax worms before gagging him with what remained of his pants," Piotr groaned.

"Whatever," Sabertooth waved. "Now sit down and shut up." Sabertooth cut the motor and gazed down into the water. He had positioned their boat in some shallows just off the point of a series of dead logs. "Perfect. I can see at least three big keepers hovering beneath those logs right now."

"We are going to fish from here?" Piotr asked.

"Of course we are, lunkhead," Sabertooth took a handful of plastic worms, tore them into little pieces and tossed them next to the boat. He smiled in anticipation. "There. All set. Now all we have to do is wait for the suckers to come out."

"Huh?" Piotr blinked. "What are you taking about? Weren't you going to put those on a hook?"

"Only if I wanted to make window ornaments out of 'em," Sabertooth gave Piotr's fishing rod a disdainful look. "You and those other weaklings can fish with useless pieces of junk like that all you want. Real men fish with their hands. When a fish swims up to feast on the bait, you just strike down real fast and...bam! Grab one!"

"Okay," Piotr blinked. "But if you planned to use plastic worms as bait, why did you bother to bring those?" Piotr pointed to a large bucket of live minnows Sabertooth had gotten from the bait shop.

"Huh? Oh, I just wanted them for a snack," Sabertooth reached down, grabbed a handful of minnows and shoved them into his mouth. "Mmmm! Wiggly!"

"Oh my," Piotr looked a little green.

"Ahhh, I love it when they tickle on the way down," Sabertooth smiled. "Too bad the big ones can't do that...wait. Here comes one now!" Sabertooth leaned over the boat's gunwale, his arm tense and poised in position. A small splash was heard right before he struck down with a flash.

SMACK!

"Got him!" Sabertooth grinned and held up a two-pound perch.

"Wow," Piotr looked at Sabertooth's catch, impressed. "That was amazing. Do you want to keep it?"

"Absolutely," Sabertooth said right before he struck the fish, killed it and casually bit off its head. "Mmmm!"

"Oh dear," Piotr looked like he was going to be sick.

"Garrrgggh!" Sabertooth removed the decapitated fish head from his mouth while continuing to suck off the soft bits. "Not bad. The eyes could have been a little juicier though." He shrugged and threw the leftover fish head overboard. Then he swallowed the rest of the fish whole. "Glup!"

"Glub!" Piotr clamped a hand over his mouth and quickly turned away.

"Mmmm, now that's what I call fresh fish," Sabertooth spat out the fins and reached for more plastic worms. "Let's try that again. Maybe one of those suckers is about to spawn and has a fully loaded egg sack."

"Ohhh," Piotr moaned and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Maybe I should have brought a pair of earplugs with me." He reached for his rod and fixed it with a jig. He turned toward the bow of the boat so he would not have to face Sabertooth. "Well, here it goes." He opened the bail and drew the rod back over his shoulder for a cast.

"Come on, come on...yes!" Sabertooth grinned as a large fat bass moved toward the floating bait shreds. "Just a little closer and...ow!" Sabertooth yelped as Piotr's jig hooked him on the lip. "What the?" He jerked in surprise.

"Hey! I caught something!" Piotr felt the resistance on his rod, closed the bail and pulled hard.

"No you idiot...aaahhhhhh!" Sabertooth yelled as he was yanked off his feet and flew into the lake.

KER-SPLAAASSSHHH!"

"Oops!" Piotr gulped as Sabertooth splashed about in the water. "Sorry. I thought I had caught a fish."

"Gaaahhhhhh!" Sabertooth sputtered and angrily tore the jig from his upper lip. The resulting wound immediately healed over. "You stupid fool! Watch where you're casting next time!"

"Sorry," Piotr repeated as Sabertooth heaved himself back into the boat.

SMASH!

"YEEEOOOWWW!" Sabertooth yelped as he landed on top of a tackle box and smashed it smithereens, skewering himself with fishing lures. "AAARRRGGGHHH! STUPID FISH HOOKS! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"Ouch. That must hurt," Piotr winced.

"YOU BET IT HURTS!" Sabertooth howled as he thrashed about covered in spoons, spinners and other assorted jigs.

SCREEEEECCCHHH!

"Uh oh," Piotr gulped as Sabertooth unintentionally clawed three large cracks into the bottom of the boat. Water immediately began to flow into it. "The boat is starting to leak!"

"So what? I'm already wet," Sabertooth snapped as he pulled a small spoonplug from his ear. "What's a little more water gonna do?"

"It will do a lot if the boat sinks and we have to swim back to shore," Piotr pointed out.

"Fine," Sabertooth grunted and started the motor. He gingerly sat down and pointed them back toward the fishing dock. "Start bailing!"

"Good idea!" Piotr grabbed Sabertooth's minnow bucket, emptied it into lake and quickly began to bail out water.

"Faster!" Sabertooth shouted as he increased the throttle.

"I am trying!" Piotr continued to bail like mad as the boat rode lower in the water. "I can only bail so fast!"

"HELP ME!"

WHOOOOOOSSSHHH!

"Huh?" Piotr blinked as Remy sped by still being dragged along by his catch. "Wow. I had no idea someone could go fishing like that."

"You stupid Cajun!" Sabertooth shouted at him. "You're not supposed to be waterskiing! Especially on your face!"

"WAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!" Remy yelled as he sped straight for the fishing dock. The walleye at the end of the line suddenly did an about-turn and headed back out to deeper water.

SNAP!

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Remy screamed as the fishing line snapped from the stress of being whipped around and torn by his momentum. Remy rolled across the water a few times before washing up on shore. "Uggghhh..."

"We are coming!" Piotr shouted as he and Sabertooth pulled near the dock. They jumped up and abandoned their boat right before it sank. "Oh dear. So much for just borrowing a boat without anyone noticing."

"Big deal," Sabertooth waved while still covered in fish lures. "It's only sitting in six feet of water. It can easily be raised and drained out."

"Blub," Remy sputtered as he lay sprawled out on shore.

"Remy!" Piotr ran over and helped prop Remy up. He gave him a few strong slaps on the back. "Remy are you alright?"

"Blaaaggghhh!" Remy gagged and threw up a chestful of water. He braced himself on his hands and knees while trying to catch his breath. "Gaaahhh! Oh, I never knew you could drink water by having it forced up your nose."

"Remy! You are okay," Piotr sighed in relief.

"I think so," Remy coughed. "Though I may have thrown up a lung somewhere around here."

"I am glad you are alright," Piotr helped Remy to his feet. "But I am surprised you were out there all alone. Where is Pyro?"

"YEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

BRRRUUUMMMMMMMMM!

"Look out!" Sabertooth shouted as Pyro sped towards shore with the boat practically standing on its rear. The boat left the water, shot across the shore, hit a downed log and was sent flying through the air.

CRAAASSSHHH!

"Yeah!" Pyro whooped from where the boat had taken out an entire wall of the bait shop before smashing into an old vending machine. The store's owner could be seen draped across a counter still asleep.

"I should have known," Piotr groaned.

"What a ride!" Pyro happily hopped out of the boat and skipped towards his teammates. "Hey mates! See you all made it back to shore ahead of me. Did ya manage to land your fish, Gambit?"

"No, but I did manage to swallow about half the lake," Remy moaned as he finally managed to untangle himself from his rod. "Wait a little while and I'll probably catch pneumonia."

"Aw, too bad," Pyro said as the Acolytes quickly moved away from the latest disaster scene. "I lost all my fish too. The tub we were keeping them all in flew outta the boat when I fired it up to chase after you."

"Crud. I was looking forward to nabbing some fresh snacks from you guys," Sabertooth growled as he picked another fishing lure off him. "Especially after the Russian dumped the rest of mine into the lake. Ow!"

"Well, so much for our plan to spend the rest of the day fishing," Piotr sighed. "What do we do now?"

"What we should have done a long time ago," Remy grumbled. "Find a ride and get outta this dump."

"Great idea!" Pyro chirped. "Hey, there's a pickup parked behind the store. I'll drive!"

"NO YOU WON'T!" Remy and Sabertooth shouted at him.

"You don't have to yell," Pyro sniffed.

"Whatever," Remy headed for the remains of the bait shop. He turned and motioned at Piotr. "Take Pyro and rig the pickup so two of us can ride in the back. I'll go get the keys and see if I can find a map."

"I'll go get some beer for the road," Sabertooth said following after Remy.

"And I will go contemplate why we never manage to enjoy a normal, quiet day out," Piotr groaned.

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution.