When Tsuna was young, he wanted to be a robot. Robots were shiny and big and powerful. What interested him, though, was the prospect of being helpful and not a waste of space. His tiny, childish brain deduced that robots were always the ones that stood out on top in a fight.
Well in the anime, anyway.
When Tsuna grew older and realized that he was, in fact, not in an anime, nor were there any robots around, he decided to try his hardest at being the best human boy he could be.
But after a sea of flunked tests and red ink stained papers, bad report cards and a newly gained, no-good nickname for a no-good boy, he realized that trying his hardest wasn't working out too well.
Tsuna was truly sunk. There was no other choice except to accept his life as No-good Tsuna, the boy who failed every test thrown at him, was the worst in every sport and was barely struggling to get through each semester.
After a while, he grew used to it. As each day passed he found it easier to accept the fact that he would forever be a failure. Life was normal and livable, to say the least, and Tsuna found he enjoyed it that way.
Nowadays, Tsuna wishes he could return to how things were when being a failure would cost him his life. Back when his life was unexciting and normal. It felt like years since he first met Reborn and was thrown into the world of mafia, where losing was not an option.
It's not that he minds being the candidate for the next boss of the Vongola (he minds a lot), nor does he mind the involvement with the mafia (he hates it). It's the constant battles with other families that have him worried (he's never been a fighter, and he doesn't want to fail his family).
Can't things just be normal anymore? he asks himself for the umpteenth time, as he once again feels his body ignite from the sudden burst of dying will flame.
There's a point in time where he becomes rebellious. He hides his rings and box weapons in numerous amounts of places in his house (they get found every single time). He ignores Reborn whenever he randomly shows up at Namimori in those ridiculous disguises of his (to no avail). He's very close to pleading with Gokudera Hayato to use his damn name and stop calling him a freaking number all the time, and he never really wanted a right arm in the first place.
Tsuna clenches his right hand, the dying will flame engulfs his fist, and he lands a punch.
Can't they see that he doesn't even want to fight? Can't they see that he doesn't want to be a part of this mafia business anymore?
There are times where Tsuna wished it was all a game, like one of those mafia roleplays Yamamoto was convinced they were playing whenever they fought.
Some days, Tsuna remembers that his life's ambition used to be becoming a robot. Nowadays Tsuna just wished that his current life's ambition wasn't trying not to die at an early age.
There are certain days when Tsuna takes his Vongola Ring and considers throwing it in any body of water he can find, to be swept out to sea.
But he doesn't, of course. Tsuna doesn't know why, but even when he stands at a bridge and looks over the edge at the swishing waters below, he clasps the ring tighter in his hand.
Maybe because it's the only way of protecting himself and his family. And though it's not much, Tsuna feels like a little kid-wishing-to-be-a-robot whenever he protects who he cares about.
Because he's not quite as useless anymore (he hopes), and his new life (a life he doesn't want) becomes a tad more livable.
end.
I have no idea where I was going with this. I just really liked how Tsuna wanted to be a robot when he was younger, but I really could not write a fic for it. Maybe I'll try again some other time. I think I'm having writer's block because I want to write fic, I just have no prompts or plot bunnies. Maybe I should cover myself in carrots.