Neil Goldman sat in the cafeteria alone as usual, eating the potato kugel that his father had cooked for him the night before.
Connie D'Amico approached him. She was dressed sluttishly, more than usual. "Neil, I have a confession to make. I want you," she told him.
Neil spat out his potato kugel in shock. "What did you say to me?" he asked her.
"You heard me," she said, grabbing him as hard as she could. "Once school's out, you're going to have the time of your life."
Wow, this is a dream come true, thought Neil. Screw Meg, I'm getting Connie!
Neil attended the rest of his classes but could not concentrate as he was thinking of having sex with Connie the entire time. Soon enough, school was out and he met Connie outside the parking lot. She let him into her Beamer.
"You know, I haven't lost my anal virginity yet," said Neil.
"Wait, you mean you've lost your vaginal virginity?" asked Connie.
"I don't have a vagina," said Neil. "At least, not that I know of."
"Don't worry, we'll solve that mystery right now," said Connie, and took off all her clothes. Neil quickly followed suit.
"We're naked," said Neil. "Now what?"
"Leave it all to me," said Connie, and she thrusted herself against Neil, every inch of her body touching his.
"Oh yeah," said Neil. "Give it to me, Connie!"
"Wow, I was right about how big you were," said Connie. "You're bigger than every James Woods Regional High football player combined."
"Well, I can't lie that I haven't taken some extension pills from my dad's pharmacy," said Neil.
"What? You mean this isn't even your natural size?" asked Connie.
"Yeah, I was one inch before I started experimenting with those pills," said Neil.
"That's disgusting. I'm leaving," said Connie, and kicked Neil out of her Beamer before driving off without another word.
"Well, I'm glad I got that out of my system," said Neil, standing naked in the school parking lot.