How Lyserg REALLY Became Girly

Summary: The truth behind why Lyserg started looking like a girl after he betrayed the Yoh-tachi. AND why he did it! (One-Shot)

Genre: Humor/Humor

Written By: Sevetenks, the Ultimate Fusion

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Shaman King characters, or the anime. But I do own THIS!

Rating: R, super perv Lyserg!

Sevetenks: This is dumb, but I just laughed when I thought of it. I hope you will too. I just wrote it as it came to me, is very perverted and stupid. But hey, isn't that the basis of American humor anyway? (crickets) Okay, I blame Android 17 for this!

17: Zzzzzz…

Sevetenks: Heh…

Lyserg Diethel was a happy little camper who wore a weird cape that looked cool, green eyes and green hair, and he looked like a boy. Why? Well, because he was a boy of course! He wanted to kill Hao Asakura, because Hao murdered his parents. Hao was a mean man, who was also currently making out with an orange haired girl with lavender eyes and two pigtails. But that does not matter, because this story is about Lyserg Deithel.

Lyserg was watching the starts, when a SEXEH girl walked up to him, and his brain immediately took a road trip to the nearest gutter.

"Hello, big man…" slurred the girl as she kneeled in front of Lyserg, who stared hungrily at her. She giggled when Lyserg started to take of her shirt-thing. "No, ya have to wait till be get home!"

"Okay! Who are you by the way?" asked Lyserg as they walked. 'I'm gonna sco-ore! I'm gonna sco-ore! I'm gonna sco-ore! And with a hot mamasita and not some fat bearded lady from the circus like momma always said. Rot in hell woman!'

"My name is Jeanne, and I am your new master…" Jeanne winked at Lyserg, who grinned lecherously.

'So, she likes that kinda game, eh? WOO FREAKING HOO!' Lyserg mentally did a little jig and was glad he brought the handcuffs from the time he and Morphin, er… "experimented". Who knew fairies/sprites could change size at will?

"Now, all you have to do is pledge your eternal loyalty to me…" said Jeanne, accidentally dropping her skirt-thingy (the one with the keyholes on it) "Oh silly me! It's just, that this is soooooo heavy, I don't think I can put it back on! Can you, a big strong man do it for me?"

"Okay!" grinned Lyserg, and pulled the skirt thing back on and kept walking. Then he realized what he could have done while it was off. 'DOH!'

"Thank you…" giggled Jeanne as they continued walking. Lyserg's jaw dropped when they got to a huge jet. "Here's my ride. Come on, baaaaaaaaby."

"Y-Yes maam!" exclaimed Lyserg, hurrying into the jet. He looked around curiously when Jeanne pushed him into a room on the jet as it took off.

"Now baby, just lie back and everything will be okay…" purred Jeanne. Lyserg did so and awaited pain or pleasure, either would turn him on. He felt his hands and ankles being chained to the table.

'I like where this is going…' thought Lyserg happily. 'I'm eternally a slave to the hottest woman I've ever seen! MY LIFE RULES!'

Yes. Lyserg was going to get laid. His life did rule. That is, until Marco walked in with a big scissors and a gas mask.

When Lyserg woke up, he realized what made him a man was gone, but he didn't care. Jeanne walked over and smiled.

"Hey Jeanne! Is that, like, a new dress?" asked Lyserg in a preppy voice, and Jeanne grinned evilly.

"Yes! I, like, bought it at a mall, and I saw this, like, tacky outfit too! I got it too put on Marco!" Jeanne and Lyserg giggled like girls, for mentally, Lyserg now was one.

Poor, poor Lyserg. Instead of getting laid, he became a woman. A lesson all of you should take to heart. Never go with Jeanne to "do it", because remember, she is an evil nun who wants to hurt Hao-sama. You cannot trust her. Obey Hao-sama. Obeyyyy… Obeyyyy…

Macchi: And that ends the story!

Sevetenks: … She ended it, though she's probably right. Jeanne is creepy. Not like Mari. (starry eyes)

Macchi: He's got odd taste… '

17: I don't! (eyebrows go up and down suggestively)

Macchi: Hao-sama is my lover. You are weak, he could easily melt you, cyborg.

17: Heh heh… (slowly inches away)

Sevetenks: MARIIIIIIIIII!

Macchi: Read and review folks.

Sevetenks, the ultimate Fusion