I'm Abbott the Wonder dog, the Dog In Charge of the O'Neill House. My 2IC is Bridget, aka the bouncing bundle of bark. We are two Jack Russell Terriers. We guard Jack O'Neill and his Little Danny and here's our story.
One day last month, my pal Bridget and I were lounging around the Colorado Springs ASPCA just hanging out and hoping for a new home. I had been picked up off of the city's mean streets fending for myself. I had been in a horrendous fight with an alley rat the size of me, when some woman started yelling bloody murder. I bested him by tooth and claw. It was a fair fight.
Well, the idiot proceeded to scream the house down. I tried to get away in the trash cans, but here comes the boys with the butterfly nets and they scoops me up, see, like I was a winged invertebrate of some sort. They put me in a truck and haul me to the city pound.
There I meet up with this cute little gal named Bridget. She's been brought in on some trumped up charge of chicken killing out in the country side. So the two of us are sitting in these stupid concrete cages just waiting for some human type to bail us out and take us home.
We been sitting there for a couple of weeks being bored out of our minds and acting like angel doggies, well mostly, when here comes this long tall human type with his pup by his side. They're looking to adopt, ripe and ready to take the plunge, but the pup isn't interested in the dogs the man is showing him.
"Here Danny, how about a nice Golden Retriever pup?"
"No, Jack, want a little dog. I want something to cuddle."
"Here's a dog just like Lassie."
"Too hairy."
"Here's a dog like Rin Tin Tin."
"Who?"
"Okay, Danny, do YOU see any one you like."
Well, Danny, showing a great deal of common sense shows up in front of our cage. "I like these guys. They're cute."
Cute? Cute! I can do cute. Pssst, Bridget do that cute thing that you do so well. The gal is no slouch. Somehow she can do cute AND vulnerable. I just roll over and look adorable.
"What kind of dogs are these?" The big guy asks.
The shelter lady is really nice. "These are Jack Russell Terriers. I will say that they both have issues though. The male bites and the female kills chickens." I hate that woman.
Jack looks at me with interest. "Who did this little bitty guy bite?"
She frowns. "He bit the ACO officer and the vet when she gave him his shots and neutered him."
"That seems perfectly reasonable to me. Has he bitten anyone since then?"
"No, but he does growl."
The pup looks up at his dad and laughs. "He sounds like you, Jack."
Jack frowns down then smiles at his little one. "I guess he does." He looks at the woman. "You said the female kills things."
"The female is feral. She was caught in a humane trap in a chicken coop on a farm. The farmer brought her in because he knew she'd kill his animals."
"Does she bite people?"
"No, but I will say they are both great rat dogs. They got out one night and we found four dead rats in the feed room." She had to smile at that. It was an awesome feat for us. They never did figure out how I got us out of the cage. She continued. "And I imagine squirrels and other wildlife would be at risk too."
This Jack fellow looks at us thoughtfully. "Can I talk to them alone?"
Shelter woman looks surprised at his request. "Why, of course. I'll, uh, just wait outside."
She leaves and big Jack hunkers down in front of our cage. He motions us over and pulls his pup close. "Okay gang. Here's the deal."
We both come up to the screen and listen. I can tell Bridget is getting excited. She whines a little and the boy pokes his fingers through the mesh to touch her on the nose. She licks him. Good move Girl.
"We work for a secret Government project. This is not a regular little boy. He is a highly trained scientific genius. But he got shrunk down to being a little boy again by an alien artifact. I'm his guardian. I need some help of a specific kind. You understand?"
Bridget whines and I growl softly. I don't whine.
"Good. You will be expected to help guard and entertain this guy. I live in a big house and work in a, uh, well I guess you'd call it a cave There are bad guys around. You'd have to bark and maybe bite to protect him." He paused. "But you must never ever bite Danny. Danny is your job, to keep him safe."
Bridget and I looked at each other. She nodded and barked. I nodded and barked.
"Now, there is a very special menace that we have to watch out for. There are some very bad aliens who looke like snakes. They can possess people. You would have to risk your life to kill these snakes." He sits back on his haunches and looks at us. "What do you say?"
Snakes! Snakes! Ole Jack doesn't know it, but I love to kill snakes. I've never seen an alien snake, but I'm sure I could kill those too.
I look at Bridget and she looks at me. She licks me on the ear. "Say yes," she whispers "We can do this. You guard the boy; I'll guard the house and the cave. We'll have our forever home."
We look up at Jack and the pup. I don't particularly like kids cause some have hurt me when I was a puppy, but this one seems nice. And Jack seems like a meat bone kinda guy.
I sit up pretty on my butt and bark "YES!"
Bridget stands up on her hind legs and spins around.
"YES!"
Jack looks at the pup named Danny. "These two okay?"
He looks at his Jack and says "YES!"
And that how it all began.
Home At Last
Well, here we are at Jack's house. It's a cool house; lots of stairs and a big play room. Jack had stopped at a pet store on the way home and got us some squeaky toys, some chewies, dog beds (hah), collars and leashes (ewh) and a big bag of dog food.
We came into the house and he closed the door, then let us loose to 'see what we would do.' Bud, you already told us what to do. We've got to guard the pup. To do that we've got to get the lay of the land, but first we need to go 'out'. We've been in a car for an hour being good, now we gotta go OUT.
Bridget gives me that worried look and starts to squat.
"NO!" I bark and I runs for the door. I jump up and down for a few times then bark again. "OUT! We gotta go OUT!"
Luckily old Jack speaks dog and comes over to let us outside. "Good job, kids. Want to go out? Let's go then." He opens the door and out we run. Oh HEY! There's a squirrel on the grass. Bridget takes off like a greyhound leaving me behind, even though I'm running as fast as I can. Mr. Tree Rat makes it to safety just in time but the gal is trying her darnedest to climb the tree. Me, I'm watching in awe. I've never seen her in full stride before. That girl is like lightening.
Jack and I walk the perimeter of the yard inspecting the privacy fence. We find the few worn boards and he says he'll replace them to keep us from escaping. Ha! Like I'd want to leave a good place after my experiences in the big wide world.
Bridget has finally given up on the squirrel and is rolling around on the ground with Danny-pup. It's love at first sight with these two. They are barking and carrying on like they've known each other forever.
Then suddenly I smell something, something bad, and I don't like it. Then, I see it. He's hiding in the dead grass up against the rosebushes. I can smell him clearly and can make out his movements. Jack doesn't even seem to know he's there. Doesn't matter though cause this is my yard now and its just is not happening here.
I drop my head and move in for the kill. I have to be careful, he's a big one, all muscle and poison. Using all my speed I leap high in the air and catch him from above using my sharp teeth and all my muscle. I grab the big rattlesnake behind the head before he can coil to strike. I know I can't let him turn back on me or wrap himself around my neck so I crunch down and shake as hard as I can until I taste his blood in my mouth. I can hear the rattling of his tail, his hissing, and the sound of his body as we scatter the leaves, branches and rocks everywhere. He's rolling and thrashing, knocking me all over the place. Jack is yelling, Danny is screaming and Bridget is barking.
Finally, it's all over. I feel the big thick body go limp in my mouth and I drop it. Jack immediately picks it up with a big stick, carries it over to a trash can and throws the snake inside. He then puts a big heavy lid on top. Hey, lighten up boss, its dead already. Then he comes back over to me and runs his big hands all over me checking me for injuries or bite marks. He's kinda shaking, but I lick him to say I'm okay. I've been killing snakes for a couple of years now and haven't been bit yet.
Jack finally gets himself, Danny and Bridget to calm down. He pats me on the head and shakes his. "That was some kill there Abbott. I think I've underestimated you. I thought you were just a cute pup."
I growl at that. Cute pup indeed. My kind has been killing snakes since before our Great Dam Trump put her stamp on our breed.
"Hey don't growl at me. How about some water and we all go in and get settled down?"
Oh, okay. By the way, you got that kibble in there?
I follow him into the house. I'm glad he doesn't try to pick me up and cuddle me now. I'm exhausted but I hate to be held or carried. I've been dropped too many times by carelessness. Don't ask. But I sense this guy understands my attitude. No wuss here. We're both hunter-killers bred to the bone for blood. Cute be damned. He knows my type, he's got the same scent on him.
We get into the house, Danny pup and Bridget are still dancing around. He's talking about how rare rattlesnakes are in this area and she's still bouncing off her adrenaline. I know she would have done it too if the situation had been reversed. Same breed, same urges. But she's better with the kid than I am. I'll have to readjust my attitude if I stay here. Must love kid, in spite of myself.
Jack goes to the kitchen cabinet where he fills a big bowl with water and puts it down for us. I wash the snake taste out of my mouth, then Bridget drinks after me as is proper etiquette, me making the kill and all. I've eaten snakes before, but I prefer a big rat or a squirrel. Jack starts to open the bag of kibble. I can smell its one of the premium types. I used to see them in the pet store when my previous people took me in to buy me the cheap stuff. He looks at the bag then reads the squiggles on it.
"Hum, chicken byproducts, desicated beef liver, soy, yam and a bunch of stuff I can't pronounce." Jack frowns then looks down at me. "This is not the diet of a snake killer." He puts the stuff back on the shelf and goes to the fridge. He pulls out a red tube thing and cuts it open. "Look buddy, I know that your girlfriend didn't get her kill like you did, but I think a whole pound is too much for a fourteen pound dog. How about we split it?"
I can smell the raw meat and I'm slobbering all over myself. Sure, give her some too, I don't care, she's pack.
He divides it carefully and spreads it out on two plates and puts it down on the floor. I cannot believe it. Raw Hamburger. On a plate. For ME. I'm in heaven.
The two of us gobble the meat down in seconds. Then I go over to the water bowl and take another long drink.
Jack and Danny watch us and then go back into the big room with the soft floor. They turn on the noisy box and sit down, Jack on the couch and Danny on the floor. I carefully watch for the reaction when I jump up on the couch and settle in the corner away from Jack. Bridget plops down on the carpet next to the kid and cuddles up next to him. He pets her gently and soon the two of them are snoring together.
Jack looks over at me and smiles. "Ya done good, Abbott. Ya done good."
I stick my nose under my front feet and slowly go to sleep. I like Jack. I think I'll hang around here.
Bridget's turn
It had been a quiet week at our house. The Boss and his pup had been gone for a couple of days. Danny had explained to us that Jack would be gone on a mission. He had to stay with the Janet lady and they'd come by and check on us every couple of days. Jack had laughed at him when he talked to us, but Danny knows we can understand him. He says it's cause he's a linguist. I think he's just a smart pup.
We stay home to guard the house of course. That's our job. We've got a doggie door that we can come in and out of and the neighbor lady is watching us. She has a really old Dachund and Squirt likes to tell stories of hunting with his human pups. So we can lie at the fence and listen. And of course, there are the birds and squirrels to keep in line.
But today we heard a different car sound outside. We jumped up on the window sill and looked outside. The Boss was home but he was leaning on two long sticks and the Big T Guy was helping him up the sidewalk to the No-door. Danny and Sam lady was with them and they were dragging the green canvas bags. We barked our normal welcome with me at guard point and Bridget running in circles. The metal key sound of the door happened and then everyone came in.
The Boss went straight to the center room and sat down on the couch with a grunt. The Big T Guy looked worried and asked if he'd be okay, but Danny said he'd take care of Jack. The Boss nodded and the man and woman went out the door and left our pack alone so we could properly greet and sniff everyone.
The Boss didn't smell good. He stunk of chemicals, smoke and burned meat and underneath it all was the scent of blood. I stood up on my hind legs and nudged him real soft like. He chuckled and rubbed my head. "Hey Abbott, how ya been?" I sniffed the white stuff he was wrapped in and he pushed me away. "I'm okay buddy. I just got a little too close to an energy weapon. I'm singed a little but I'll be okay."
Bridget had been greeting her boy and the two of them came over to us. Danny reached out and took the Boss's hand, she licked it and whined. "He's hurt. He smells like cooked meat."
I nod. "We need to be careful around him and not jump on him."
"If he'd take the cloth off of it, I could lick it well." she said primly. "My Mama taught me."
I shook my head. "Humans are funny. They don't want us to lick their hurts, but we can lick his hands and face."
"I need to lick our pup too. He's all salty from the water in his eyes."
"You do that. I'll keep the Boss's feet warm."
We spent the evening trying to make our humans feel better. Bridget and I were like dragonflies, walking and touching so carefully as to not hurt the Boss. He lay on the couch and watched the noise box until he started to be sleepy. Then we all escorted him to bed. He collapsed on the pillows with a groan. Danny brought him some medicine and he went to sleep.
Bridget and I put Danny to sleep soon after. She stayed with him so she could sooth him in his scary dreams. I went around the house and checked the ins and outs. I knew with the Boss hurt. I was in charge of security with Bridget as my back up.
We had a long night. First Danny cried and Bridget had to cuddle him, then the Boss had a screamer. It's kind of tricky to console a big human when you're only eight inches tall and fourteen pounds. He could squash me and not even know it. But Danny and Bridget heard him too so between the three of us we got him back to sleep. The pup wrapped him up in his arms, Bridget cuddled up to his back and I stayed at the foot of the bed on watch. NOBODY, human or dog was getting to my pack tonight.
The next day dawned better. The pup and Bridget headed for the kitchen and I heard some rattling around. I did the perimeter check for the morning. After I ensured that the sneaky squirrels hadn't made any inroads to the boss's flower garden I made sure to mark all the corners and land marks. Snidely Squirrel was head of that bunch and he was a sneaky one for sure.
Danny had carried the boss up some food and he and his bodyguard Bridget were watching him eat the milk and colored things from the bowl. I came in and sat on the rug by the bed. Danny took one of the little colored things and held it up. I sat up pretty and he pitched it to me so I could catch it. The boss laughed a little then groaned.
"Okay gang. Let the old man out of bed so I can get cleaned up."
"Can you manage, Jack?" Danny had a little doubt in his voice.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. The burn is on my thigh. I'll be careful. I just want to get the stink off of me." He eased up to a sitting position. "I just have to not fall over the dogs."
As If! I easily dodged the Boss and his sticks. Bridget led the pup back out of the room. He needed a good romp.
Our day passed quietly. The Boss was mostly on the couch watching the noisy box. We had a few visitors like the smelly Janet lady, the pretty Sam lady and the great Big T Guy. They brought food for the family and the big guy brought stew meat for us. We really liked the big guy. When we first met him he had said that he'd had a wolf companion as a small boy. That was a nice compliment. Later the Boss told his pup that Teal'c probably meant a real wolf. Hey, we're real wolves, just short wolves.
We had an early night. The boss was still tired so we put him to bed and did tight security.
It was in the dark night that I heard something down stairs. It was kind of a scrapey, scratchy sound. I was lying on the end of the Boss's bed because it was the first room off the den. I jumped off and went to the doorway. Bridget came in from the pup's room and gave me a silent look. We headed out to see what was going on.
As we came into the den, we could see the silhouettes of three humans messing around with the windows. We heard a snap, then they pushed on the glass and it opened.
We started barking as loud as we could to wake the Boss. He wouldn't like it at all; they were tromping on the flowers and bringing dirt into the house. "HEY HEY HEY! STOP STOP STOP!" Bridget started too. "NO NO NO BAD BAD BAD"
The one of the men snarled at us and pulled a black Bang thing out of his pocket and pointed it at us. Both of us ducked. I hadn't known if Bridget knew about Bangs, but she obviously did. I had been banged at a few times when I was running the city so I surely knew what they were. I ran behind the couch and she disappeared down the hall.
"NO NO NO! BAD BAD BAD! STOP STOP!" I kept barking. How I wished I was a big dog instead of so little. But where was the Boss? Couldn't he come?
I heard the pup run into the Boss's bedroom and talk to him. I didn't know where Bridget ran to, but I guessed she was there also. I missed her but knew the pack was her first responsibility. The big men crashed into our den. One wore big boots. I was scared of him. I had been kicked before with those things and it HURT! The other guy was wearing tennis shoes and the third one had leather shoes so I wasn't as worried about them. I barked again and then scooted under the couch.
*Bridget*
I runned up the steps to the Boss's room. I knowd that my pup was in there with his Poppa, but I had to keep them safe. Abbott was holding the bad uns off for a bit so I hit a lick up here to set up guard here at the big nest.
The Boss, he wasn't quite all awake yet. I think the Doc Lady done give him some of them sleepy pills for to him to sleep good with his hurting and all. It was a real shame to rouse him, but we need something bigger that Abbott and me.
Little Danny was already on the nest when I jumped up on it. He was pulling on his Poppa and telling him to wake up. I barked and began to wash his face to get him the rest of the way there. Finally he pushed us both off and mumbled something. Danny shook his arm again. When he didn't wake up, the pup crawled over his Poppa and opened the box beside the bed. He pulled out one of them Bang things like the bad people had. He turned around with it in both of his little front paws and pointed it at the door. I'd been banged at before in the woods by a mad farmer after I'd kilt his chicken for dinner. I'm scared of them things.
Finally the Boss sat up started talking to Danny. I felt a little better. But where was Abbott?
*Abbott*
By listening carefully, I heard my Boss's voice talking to his pup, and decided it was time to head for the high ground. I tucked my tail and ran along the wall and up the stairs to the nest. I could hear the big foots following me.
Bridget met me at the door and sniffed me over, and then we both headed for the nest. The boss smelled funny. He didn't smell of bad drink, but we could tell he wasn't himself. Then I saw that the pup had a black Bang too. I was shocked.
"Don't worry." Bridget announced with a yelp. "He be okay with it. He real careful."
"Okay," I grumbled, "but I'm not turning my back on him."
"I know, but the Boss is gonna take it." She smiled, showing her teeth.
"Well, come on. We need to get into position. We've got a sick Boss and a pup with a Bang. We need to be ready for anything."
As we jumped on the bed we could hear the Boss talking and the pup arguing.
"Danny, get under the bed."
"But Jack..."
"Danny..."
"Oookay."
Our pup slipped off the nest and crawled underneath the soft part. We took our places, me on the bed and Bridget on the floor.
Suddenly everything happened at once. One of the bad men came in the door. The Boss shot his Black Bang and the guy fell. The other two turned around and ran down the stairs falling over each other. Bridget and I jumped and ran after them barking and nipping. The one with the leather shoes kicked me and I rolled over with a yelp. Bridget grabbed him by the hamstring and bit down hard drawing blood. He fell and I got up to bite him on the hand as he swatted her off. The other guy turned, and then ran away. Our prey got up and limped out the door yelling at his pack mate. Bridget and I still worrying his heels.
We chased him to the door, and then a big black and white car showed up with their red and blue lights. They yelled and started chasing the bad guys. I had lost sight of Bridget in the scuffle so I ran back to the Boss and our pup in case they still needed defending against this new threat.
Danny was on the nest with the Boss, looking real pale and the Boss was cuddling him. I stood at the foot of the nest and barked and growled at the new guys. "Abbott, be quiet!" The Boss hollered at me. I cowed down and let our pack leader take charge.
There was a lot of talking and running around. More cars came and the guy on the floor was picked up and taken away. Then the Sam lady, the big guy, the Janet lady and an older fellow all showed up. The old man took over and he shushed everyone up. He talked a lot and then finally, everyone went away except our human pack.
The Janet lady checked over the Boss and the Sam lady tried to take the Pup back to his own nest but he wouldn't go. As he was arguing he looked around and then said. "Where's Bridget?"
Well, I knew she'd been chasing the bad guys after I'd been kicked. She's a lot faster with her long legs. I'd have figured she'd come back by now. I trotted out the doggy door to see if she was in the yard, but she wasn't there either.
The Pup was getting upset. Sam lady got my leash and took me out the front to see if I could track her, but her scent was all mixed up with everybody else's. Bridget was gone.
*Bridget*
I'd done chased and nipped the two bad uns as they lit out of the house. Ole Abbott had caught a kick to the ribs and gone a sailing so I knew that I had to clear them off by myself.
These two run down the street and jumped in the bar ditch. I of course went right in after them. Bad luck, there was running water in the ditch and I was too small to touch bottom. I grabbed one of them's hand but he shook me off and I washed away down the crick.
Daggum it all! I could swim alright, but the current was taking me away from my territory. I finally caught some branches and crawled out of the ditch. I climbed up some trash and looked around. By the Great Dam Trump, I was losted.
I also realized that my shoulder was a hurtin a bit, and it was getting kinda cold. So I figured I'd find me a hidey hole and hunker down for the night. Maybe in the daylight, I could navigate me back to my own territory. I was close to some brush sos I finds me a hole and curl up for the night.
The next morning I get up and head out to maybe catch me a rat or a bird for breakfast then head back home. As I look around I realize that I'm in one of them park places with all the trees and brush. There's coupla other dogs out with their humans. I ease around to see what the lay of the land is.
As I slink along the edge of the woods what would happen but another Jack Russell sees me. He's a young pup with the bristly kind of hair. He comes bouncing over all friendly like. "HEY HEY HEY, YA WANNA PLAY?"
I drop my head and sit down. Nope, no play today. I'm a whipped pup. All I want is my pack and I don't know where they are.
His Boss, an older lady, comes over to see me. I duck away until she comes up with a piece of dried liver. I watch her suspicious like a while but she seems real nice. Maybe it'll be okay. So I goes over quiet and gentle like and takes the treat from her.
She picks me up and looks at me. "Well, little girl, where's your Master? You're not supposed to be here at the park by yourself." Then she jingles my collar around. "Oh, good. Here's your phone number right where it should be."
The lady carries me over to a bench and digs in a big cloth bag. She fiddles with something and starts talking to a little plastic thing. "Hello. Is this the O'Neill home? Good, this is Kathy Hughes. I'm here at the dog park and I think I've found your dog Bridget." She listens. "Surely, I'll wait right here with her. Wonderful." She puts the doohickey back in the bag and scratches my butt just above my tail. "Sam is coming to get you, Bridget. She'll be right here." We sits at the bench while her Pup runs and plays. I'm just too tired and I want to go home.
Sure enough, in a little while, the nice Sam lady and MY PUP come up in her car. I'm so happy I'm wiggling and jumping up and spinning all over the place. My pup is giggling and crying and leaking salt water. I'M SO HAPPY!
Finally after Sam lady and nice Kathy lady talk, my Pup picks me up and we go back to the car and home.
*Abbott*
The big guy and the Sam lady both stayed the night so I could relax a bit. We were all sad that Bridget was missing. The Pup cried himself to sleep against his Poppa and I curled up next to them both. I know what had happened. She chased them off and got lost. I'm just hoping she can find her way back home.
The next morning my pack was just stirring around when the talking box rang. The Sam lady answered it and then began to smile. "Bridget is safe. A lady has her at the dog park."
The Boss smiled real big, and then laughed. "That's five miles away. How'd she get so far?"
The Pup was bouncing and spinning like a JRT himself. "Cause she's so fast! Let's go Sam! Let's go!"
They were gone just a little bit and then Bridget was back. She was dirty and stunk something awful. The Pup put her down and she came over to me and we sniffed. I was glad she was home and I could tell she was very tired.
"I thought I'd lost you." I whined.
"Me too." She sighed back. "Fell in the bar ditch and got washed away. I just want some kibble and a pillow." We looked up to see Sam lady coming over with wet hands. "Well, maybe a bath wouldn't hurt."
I sniffed her and barked. No, a bath wouldn't hurt.
Later that evening, everyone was gathered around on the back deck of our wonderful yard. The Boss was moving around better, our Pup was grinning at all the members of our pack, Bridget was lying sleepily in his lap and I was happy to be on my end of the couch.
"Well Sir," the Sam lady was talking. "It seems that getting these two dogs was a really good idea."
"Indeed," said the Big Guy. "They are most formidable guardians."
"I just wonder who those guys were?" the Janet lady asked.
"They could be NID, or just burglars." The Boss replied. "The one guy died without regaining consciousness and the other two just disappeared."
"I bet they'll think twice about coming back though, huh Jack." Danny spoke up from where he was petting Bridget.
"I bet they will." He rubbed me with his bare foot. "as long as we have the JRT Marines on duty."
"Then that'll be a loooong time, right Jack?"
"Right."
Bridget and I exchanged sleepy glances. Right indeed.
the end of the JRT Marine's tale.
NOTE: Please get your dogs micro chipped and always put tags on your dogs that show your last name and phone number. It saves a lot of them from winding up in a shelter unnecessarily if they get lost from their yard.
