I was re-watching the 31st of March and 1st of April episodes and this just kind of came together.
Reviews make me deliriously happy ;)
This is just a short drabble that I wrote right before bed so don't be expecting a masterpiece lol
"Oh come on prove you've got a maternal side please." He said holding out Rose like she was a bomb waiting to explode but from the smell she already had.
"Leela you cannot seriously be thinking about keeping this baby!" Her mother shouted. "You haven't got a maternal bone in your body!"
Leela didn't care what her mum thought, what anyone thought really. For the past 6 months ever since she had found out she was pregnant she had been terrified. Terrified of what people thought, terrified about what her parents would say, Terrified about being a single mother about not being enough for her baby, Terrified she wouldn't be a good mum but looking down at the tiny baby in her arms she knew without a doubt that she would do anything in the world to make sure she was safe and loved.
"I want my baby." Leela said fiercely. "I want to be her mum and I want you to support my decision."
"You made your decision months ago! When you said that you where putting the baby up for adoption."
She was right Leela had decided that she couldn't raise a baby on her own with Cameron in prison and her parents less than happy about her situation she decided that the best option was to but the baby up for adoption but now, seeing her baby she couldn't. She couldn't live the rest of her life never seeing her little girl again, never knowing what type of person she turned out to be.
"I changed my mind!"
"And who's to say you wont change it again!" Sam pointed out furiously.
"I wont!"
"Leela, your mum's just trying to do what's best for you and the baby." Her dad reassured. "And if that is you raising her then we will support you 100%"
Sam snorted.
"What's her name then?" Danny smiled tilting his head to where his granddaughter lay in her mothers arms.
"Peri." Leela beamed.
"Eh who says I'm not maternal?"
"You left me here with three kids!"
"Yeah that's cause I assumed you knew what you where doing."
"I remember Peri at that age," She smiled watching Leah make silly faces at Rose. "Half the attitude of course but still as grown up. You know she used to get a hold of my make up all the time used to drive me mad, to stupid to realise she was only trying to be like me."
"What are you doing!?" Leela roared walking into her room and spotting 7-year-old Peri clothed in one of her dresses which was falling of her tiny frame and putting on her make-up including her brand new lipstick. "Do you have any idea how much that cost!?"
"I'm sorry." Peri whispered toying with the edge of the dress.
"Oh you will be!" Leela threatened. "Just wait until I tell mum and dad!"
It rolled of her tounge so easily that she barely had to think of it. Mum and Dad, should he Gran and Grandad.
"NO! Please." Peri begged. "I'm sorry."
"You know better than this! Touching stuff that doesn't belong to you." Leela said. "Do you know how many times I've had an argument with Teagan, Me thinking she'd been using my make-up and it's you."
"Actually most of the time it is her." Peri admitted.
"You look a right state." Leela said taking in the miss matched eye shadow and the wonky lippy but regretted it as soon as she seen Peri's face fall. "Hey, I didn't mean that. You should have seen me the first time I tried to use make-up I ended up going into school bright orange cause with panda eyes."
Peri laughed. "I just wanted to look pretty."
"Leela's heart broke at the comment. "Hey listen to me, you are the most beautiful girl in the world and I know I'm slightly biased but that doesn't make it any less true."
"But you always wear make-up and have boyfriends I just want to look like you." Peri admitted.
"You are way more beautiful than me, trust me." Leela said giving her a tight hug. "And when your old enough to actually date boys I'm going to be beating them away with a stick."
"Promise?"
"About beating them with a stick? Absolutely." Leela said making Peri laugh.
"Here listen, How's she doing anyway?" Ziggy asked. "I get it you know, why you don't want to go and see her. I mean I hate walking into hospitals and seeing someone you love lying there looking so..." He trailer off.
"Helpless." Leela supplied.
"Yeah, but just think how happy you'll make her, you know, she's still that little girl that just wants to be like her big sister
"I'm sorry I haven't been, you know how it is with work and shift patterns," Leela lied blowing out a deep breath. "And to be honest... I just didn't want to see you like this and then today Sinead was in an accident and she's doing everything she could to see her little girl, just made me see what was important."
She wanted to scream it out right there. You! You're the most important person in my life, your my daughter!
Her and Peri shared a smile.
"And any way I'm here now and act least it makes a change from Tegan, I hear you can't get rid of her."
Peri laughed. "She said you babysat."
"Yeah well, I had to call Ziggy for help."
"Don't ever have kids." Peri laughed breaking her heart.
"No, I won't." She said smile dimming. "Kid sisters enough for me."
"Is this going to be enough for you?" Her dad asked hugging her to his side. "Have you thought about when we tell her the truth?"
Leela watched Peri running about with all the other kids her age. It was her birthday and they where having a party, just something small in the garden but the way her face light up when she saw the bouncy castle or her face when another guest arrived, Leela would never forget. 4 years since she had given birth, 4 years since her beautiful little girl had come into this world and even though she was living a lie pretending that her daughter was really her sister Leela wouldn't change a minute of it.
She often had what if moments. What if Cameron hadn't been arrested, would they be raising their little girl together would it be them who'd throw her birthday parties and tuck her in at night. What if she had gone through with the adoption, who would Peri be then? Would she be happy? What would her parent's be like? What would they name her?
The one she thought about most was what if she hadn't buckled under the pressure, what if her parents hadn't taken over and raised Peri, What if she did?
"It's going to have to be." She smiled watching Peri as her mum brought out her birthday cake.