A/N: I do not own Glee. Gosh, I'm tired of that disclaimer. Anyways, this one is a prize for a reviewer from my story Repeating History. They one a guessing game and chose a one-shot as their prize. Their request was a Blaine/Rachel one-shot, so here we go! hysterical laughter, this is for you!
Twenty two years old and still living in New York City. Still alone. Still paying an extraordinarily large amount for a crappy apartment.
When he was in high school, he thought that he had it all figured out. Lead of the Warbler's, steady boyfriend, scholarship for Julliard – Blaine Anderson thought he had it all figured out.
He didn't expect Kurt to break up with him, especially not for the boy who had threatened to kill him. He didn't expect his leads to be taken away from him when they lost at Regionals. He didn't expect his scholarship to be revoked because the school had given away too many and he was at the bottom of the list.
He's twenty two now and working part-time to subsidise his partial scholarship at NYU and to help pay the rent (his parents only pay half). He goes to multiple auditions a week but never gets past call-backs and pulls all nighters to maintain his grades so he doesn't lose the benefits the scholarship provides. There hasn't been anyone on the scene since Kurt left him and he's so tired of being alone.
So when he runs into Rachel Berry in Starbucks, he considers it a miracle.
She's twenty two, single but successful. She shares an apartment with Noah and Santana (no one saw that coming) and Brittany too (Britt doesn't pay rent because she doesn't officially live with them but she's Santana's soul-mate so she's there all the time).
She's studying at Julliard and it's better than all her dreams combined. People there appreciate her and she's top of all her classes but people respect her intelligence instead of tearing her down.
Her fashion sense has improved and her "crazy meter" is dramatically lower and she's scored leads in almost all of the school productions (she's waiting to graduate before auditioning for Broadway).
She's still single though. There have been guys but no one she's ever seen a future with. If she's honest with herself, none of the men she's been with have ever held a candle to the ones she's already been with. None of them have that adorable dopey look Finn had or the caring streak that Noah possesses or the ability to keep up with her musically like Jesse or willingness to hold her hand in public like Blaine (on that one date they had, all that time ago), let alone all those qualities.
So when she sees Blaine in Starbucks, her smile gets a little larger and her heart beats a little faster.
They catch up over coffee. They didn't keep in touch after high school but he regrets that now – just an hour with Rachel reminds him why he liked her all that time ago.
He can still remember the way she looked in that disgusting green dress and the way her lips moved against his and the way her skin smelled like coconut and vanilla but her hair smelled like strawberries.
He may like boys but he's always been attracted to Rachel. That hasn't changed even though it's been years.
They sit in the coffee shop for hours until she gets a text from Noah inviting her out for drinks. She doesn't know why she's so quick to clarify that Noah isn't her boyfriend but she does know why she's so quick to invite Blaine along...
... She's not ready to let go. Not yet. Not tonight.
If Noah, Santana and Brittany are surprised to see Blaine, they don't show it. Noah buys him a drink, Santana asks if he saw the game last night and Brittany continually interjects with her one-liners.
It's like Blaine has always been part of their group.
He doesn't drink much. With his small income and his huge load of expenses, it's not allowed. He watches Rachel get progressively drunker as the night goes on but it's adorable. It's nice to know that one thing hasn't changed: she's still a total lightweight.
Sometime around 1am, Brittany falls asleep on the table and he watches as Santana balls up her jacket to make a pillow for her girlfriend before draping her in Puck's leather jacket.
Rachel stops drinking but she's already hammered. Her hands are all over him and Puck's glaring at him, clearly jealous that he's stuck sitting next to a sleeping Brittany and a loving Santana, who's affectionately stroking the blonde's hair, and only getting to watch the show instead of participating.
He smiles at Puck when Rachel goes to the bathroom and laughs at the string of curses Puck lets out in responses. He hasn't changed a bit since high school.
Being here with them feels like he's part of a family again.
Rachel kisses him when they're saying goodbye. He's already got her number and her address but her lips against his are so much better than that.
It's just like he remembers... except for Rachel's reaction. She wipes her mouth like he's got a contagious disease and her eyes fill with tears.
"I am so sorry Blaine. I'm just drunk... I swear it didn't mean anything. You like men and I like talented men, which you clearly are, and you were there so I kissed you. I'm so sorry"
"Rach, it's okay"
"I really am sorry. I don't want to ruin our friendship while it's so new"
"Rach, seriously, its okay", he reassures her, despite the fact that he feels physically sick at her reaction.
She apologizes once more and promises to call him later before she gets into the taxi. He's left standing on the street corner watching her race away.
(She doesn't call).
She doesn't call Blaine. She's too embarrassed – it's bad enough that she kissed him when he wasn't interested but she can't be around him while her feelings are so strong.
Blaine calls a couple of times but she rejects them all before buying a new sim card and changing her number. She doesn't answer the countless questions her roommates ask her and after three months, they stop asking.
By the time she realizes that she misses him, it's too late to call him. She doesn't have his number anymore and she has no idea how she'd even be able to begin explaining what was going through her head.
She graduates Julliard with honours and starts auditioning immediately. She gets call-backs to 75% of her auditions and is offered numerous roles in the chorus. She turns them all down – she wants her first proper play to feature her as lead.
Eventually she's offered the lead in an off-off Broadway play and she jumps at the opportunity.
Her male lead (and romantic interest): Blaine Anderson.
They rehearse every day, for at least six hours but sometimes as much as fourteen. The director says they have amazing chemistry, but off-stage, they don't talk.
He's ecstatic about his first role in a real, honest-to-god play but he kind of hates Rachel for getting herself involved in it.
He refuses to talk to her, still furious that they caught up and had their friendship terminated in one day, and all on her decisions. He didn't get a say or a chance to explain that he wanted her before her number was changed. He'd even gone to her apartment but was constantly told that she wasn't in.
He manages to stay strong until he sees her crying in her dressing room. He has no idea why she's crying but his heart breaks at the sight and he just knows that he can't keep ignoring her.
He calls goodbye as he leaves and her blinding smile is radiant. Her nose is red and her eyes are bloodshot but she's never been more beautiful to him.
(He's straight back to where he started).
They're friends – nothing more, nothing less. They kiss on stage and cry and scream and fight before going out to lunch and laughing at the scenes they've just rehearsed.
She brings him hot chocolate every morning, made with boiling water (not milk) because he loves hot drinks but hates coffee and she wants to be thoughtful but doesn't dare to damage his vocal cords with milk.
Neither of them ever brings up that night or the time that followed.
(When she gives him her new mobile number, he calls it instantly just to make sure).
He starts spending time at her apartment on the weekend, and he becomes closer and closer to Santana, Brittany and Puck.
He marvels at how much Santana has changed from the bitchy cheerleader she was in high school to the woman head over heels in love with her girlfriend. He laughs at Brittany's jokes, and learns to bite his tongue so he won't make comments on some of her sillier suggestions. He sees the way Puck watches Rachel and realizes that Puck loves her more than anyone else in the world, but it's not romantic love any more – he has no idea when Puck stopped being in love with Rachel but it's clear he only sees her as a sister and best friend now.
When Rachel, Santana and Puck are forced to look for a bigger apartment so that Brittany can officially move in, he's asked if he wants to move in with them. He says yes, because it's closer to the theatre and the bar they hang out in on the weekends.
It's also because he's kind of, maybe in love with Rachel.
Brittany discovers the secret on a Thursday, after they've been living together for about a month. "How long have you been in love with Rachel?" she asks casually over breakfast, only pausing for a second before she continues pouring milk over her cereal.
"What do you mean, in love with Rachel?" he sputters, trying to ignore the blush that he can feel spreading across his cheeks. "I'm gay, remember Britt?"
"I know that silly, but that doesn't mean you can't love Rachel! Cos I only really liked boys until Santana came along, and then I realized that I may have liked boys better than girls, but I loved Santana more than anything", she explains, rolling her eyes at Blaine's look of confusion.
"But Brittany..."
"You see, Rachel's beautiful, and talented, and she makes awesome cookies, and you get to kiss her almost every day, so you may like boys but you love Rachel"
"Britt, that's not possible. I'm gay. I've been gay for all of my life and the only person I've ever been in a relationship with was a boy"
"Why don't you get it?" she pouts, frowning into her bowl of cereal. "Why won't you admit that you love her?"
"Of course I love Rachel", he says quietly, making sure he chooses his words carefully. He doesn't want to upset Brittany because then he'll have to deal with an angry Santana and she may have changed, but she's still terrifying when she's angry. "But only as a friend. I love her like I love you and Santana"
"Blaine", she whines, drawing his name out. "Stop lying. I know you love Rachel, and not like you love me or San, because that would be weird. You look at her the same way Puck did when he was in love with her in high school... like she's his whole world"
"What...?"
"Rachel never knew but back in high school, in senior year, Puck was in love with her. He never told her and no one else did either and he's over it now, but still, there are times when he wishes he had just told her so that they could have given it a shot. Don't make the same mistake as he did... it's so obvious that you love her... well, it's obvious to everyone except her but Rachie's always been slightly stupid when it comes to boys", Brittany explains, her eyes soft with affection as she talks about one of her best friends. "Now, I'm gonna go and get ready because San and I are going shopping, but it was great talking to you"
She flounces off and he's left looking after her, wondering how his morning coffee turned into a lecture about love from Brittany.
After that, he becomes super-aware of everything Rachel does. They'll be at rehearsals and she'll be standing a few metres away from him, talking to someone, but he'll notice those cute little hand gestures she uses when she's talking. He'll be sitting across from her at lunch, and he finds himself staring at her when she's reading her menu or chatting to the waiter. They'll be at home, preparing dinner together, and he has to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing her until her lips are bruised.
He sees Brittany's encouraging looks and feels the sympathy from Puck and notices the smirks from Santana, as if all three of them are daring him to do something about it.
He almost does, on numerous times. He'll stop on the way home from the gym to get her flowers or he'll type text messages to send to her, but the flowers always end up in the bin and the text messages are always deleted.
He's scared that she doesn't like him back or that they'll get together but things will be awkward and weird and they'll end up breaking up and he'll have lost his best friend and the situation will become so uncomfortable that one of them will end up moving out because they just can't stomach it anymore.
So he ignores the looks from Brittany, and the sympathy from Puck, and the smirk from Santana and just settles for being her friend because even having a tiny part of Rachel's heart is better than nothing at all.
She doesn't know when she fell in love with him. There's no clear moment in time when she stopped having a tiny crush on him and suddenly fell head over heels in love with him. There's no moment where a light bulb switched on in her head, making her aware that Blaine is the perfect guy for her.
She is aware of when she realized having any sort of feelings for Blaine (other than friendship) was a stupid idea. They were in high school and all she wanted was to kiss him again but there was Kurt, standing there with hurt eyes and a wounded expression for the world to see. If that wasn't enough, there was that drunken kiss on the pavement while she was waiting for a taxi, or the fact that Blaine likes boys.
She may have had every boy she's ever wanted (even if it took a while to get him) but she cannot make Blaine Anderson straight. She tried that in high school and she failed. Hell, she made him more certain that he was into men.
She just has to learn to cope with the fact that Blaine will never be hers.
Her life doesn't work that way though. She's trying to forget about her feelings for Blaine when Brittany comes skipping towards her on a Thursday night, just returned home from a shopping trip with Santana.
Blaine's in his bedroom, Puck's at the gym and Santana is unpacking bags of clothes in her and Brittany's bedroom, so she and the blonde are alone.
"Good shopping trip Britt?"
"Don't change the topic Rach. We have to talk about your feelings for Blaine", Brittany replies seriously, sitting down next to Rachel on the couch.
"Okay", she begins. She's been one of Brittany's best friends for years now and she knows that whenever Brittany has that serious look on her face, it's best to just go along with what she's saying instead of making a fuss. "Blaine is one of my best friends. I feel so lucky that I ran into him that day in Starbuck's and then again all that time later because I honestly don't know how I would be able to survive without him. He makes me laugh at rehearsal all the time, and he knows what food to buy when I'm sad, and he's one of those people that you can tell anything and everything too because he won't spill your secrets"
"I knew it!" she yells, clapping excitedly. "You love Blaine!" she adds, her voice lower, remembering that Blaine is in the apartment.
"Brittany..."
"Don't worry Rachel. I'll keep your secret", she promises, before walking into the bedroom she shares with Santana.
She sighs as Brittany walks away. This isn't going to end well.
The secret doesn't stay secret for long. Brittany believes in true love and happy endings and when it comes to relationships, she can't help but meddle.
It's only three days before Blaine asks her out on a date, and although she wants to be mad at Brittany for spilling the secret, she can't be, because the man she's in love with is taking her out on a date.
Santana helps her choose an outfit and Brittany does her hair, and the three of them have to pretend that they don't hear Noah threatening Blaine to treat her well or there will be trouble.
She marvels at the way Blaine's eyes light up when he sees her walk into the living room, all dressed up with her hair curled and her make-up done to perfection. She squeals inside at the vegan restaurant he booked a table at because she's told him countless times that she's dying to try it. She blushes at the way he pulls out her chair and helps her sit down, and feels her hands getting clammy as he gives her a soft goodnight kiss outside her bedroom door.
It's the best first-date she's ever been on and it's one hundred percent perfect because Blaine is the one she's dating.
(It gets better when he texts her as soon as her bedroom door shuts, asking her to be his girlfriend).
They tell the cast and crew at work after they've been dating for four months because neither of them is good at keeping their mouths shut and this is news they're just dying to share. The cast and crew are excited for them, exclaiming that they knew it all along, but the director takes it as an opportunity to critique their performances.
He says that there isn't enough passion in their fight scenes, that neither of them is making it believable. He complains that Rachel's looking too in love too early in the performance and that Blaine isn't kissing his other co-star with enough love.
Basically, he doesn't think anything with their performance is good enough. Blaine knows that he's just critiquing them because he's nervous about opening night being only a couple of months away (he and Rachel have been dating for months now and nothing was wrong before) but Rachel takes it seriously. She's always been the best before so to have someone criticising her every single time she steps on stage is extremely challenging for her.
She starts staying later and later after rehearsals, running lines with the director and going over ways she can improve her performance. At first he doesn't mind because he's proud that she's so dedicated but after she misses their six month anniversary dinner, he starts to lose his patience.
He tries her mobile as he waits at the vegan restaurant they went to on their first date, but no one picks up. He tries Santana, who says she has no idea where Rachel is, and Puck, who is just as clueless but says to go easier on her, and finally Brittany, who says that she thinks Rachel is still at rehearsals.
His heart sinks in his chest as he realizes that Rachel is more dedicated to this play than to their relationship.
(The whole taxi ride to the theatre, he berates himself for not realizing sooner).
The director is just leaving as he arrives, and he can see Rachel walking through the car park to get to the main road and hail a taxi. He can see her pull her phone out of her pocket and sigh before putting it away, ignoring the dozens of messages and missed calls from him.
He doesn't care that they're only two weeks away from opening night – this needs to be fixed now.
"Rachel!" he calls. His hands are clammy as she turns around and her face pales when she sees him standing there.
"Blaine, I'm so sorry. I just remembered that we were supposed to be going for dinner tonight. I was asked to stay behind and I couldn't say no... We're only two weeks away from opening night and this has to be perfect"
"I don't care"
"What do you mean, you don't care?"
"I'm sick of hearing your excuses. I'm your boyfriend Rachel... I should come first. Our six month anniversary should come before rehearsing for some stupid play. I've been so patient these last two months, spending my nights alone while you constantly rehearse, but for you to miss our anniversary..."
"Stupid play? This stupid play is paying our wages Blaine. It's the only thing paying our rent and keeping us in that apartment. This stupid play is the thing that brought us back together and I'm not going to apologize for working hard to make it perfect"
"Rachel, this play is important to me too but I'm not here over sixteen hours a day. I don't get here for 7am and get home for midnight. I want this play to be a success but I want you and me to work more than this play. I love you Rach, and I just can't sit at home while you're here, practically destroying yourself to make sure this play goes off without a hitch! Its off-off Broadway Rachel... no one is going to see it anyway", he yells, his eyes widening as he realizes what he's just said.
"How dare you?" she hisses, stalking towards him. "You know how much this means to me, you know how badly I want this. You are the only person I've ever known who has never told me I couldn't succeed – the only person in the world who hasn't trashed my dream at some point. My dad's said that I needed a degree because it wasn't guaranteed that I'd make it. Santana laughed at my dreams in high school, Brittany told me the first time I met her in high school that my dance moves weren't strong enough to get me there and Noah made me believe, back in the days when he was a bully, that I was undesirable and would never amount to anything. You were the only person who ever had faith in me so how can you stand here and say that?"
"For god's sake Rachel, you have New York at your feet. You went to Julliard, while I had to struggle through NYU, working to help pay for my education, because I wasn't good enough to get a scholarship at the school I've always wanted to go to. Your first role is a lead, whereas I've been trying for years before I could score this. You have your own little family here and I just slotted in afterwards. Why can't you see that you have so much more than this stupid little play?"
"Because I don't have anything more than this stupid little play!"
"Rachel..."
"Santana and Brittany have each other. When they get engaged, they're moving out. Santana's already in the process of buying an engagement ring and I saw her looking for apartments the other day. I waited for a whole year in high school for Noah to ask me out and tell me he loved me, but he never did because I wasn't good enough for him. And I'm still not good enough for him now because Quinn rung the apartment the other day, asking if I knew when Noah was planning on finalising his moving date. He's going back to Ohio and he never told me, even though I'm his best friend. And you... I feel like I'm walking on thin ice around you. I feel like there's no way I can possibly keep you because there is no way you can be attracted to me, or want to stay with me, because I'm a girl! I don't understand why we're even together because I wasn't enough in high school... one kiss from me and you decided you were one hundred percent gay!" she screams.
"Rachel..."
"This is who I am Blaine. I'm crazy intense when it comes to the things that matter to me and if you can't tolerate that, then I don't see us working out"
"Rachel..."
"Just don't Blaine. I'm sorry, but this thing between us... it's over".
And he stands and watches her hail a taxi and drive away from him, yet again.
The final two weeks before opening night are unbelievably awkward. The director criticises them for the lack of passion in their on-stage relationship, and the dull look in their eyes when they address each other.
Brittany refuses to talk to either of them, upset that they managed to screw everything up after she did so much work to get them together, and because Brittany isn't talking to them, Santana won't either. Puck shoots him apologetic looks but his alliances lie with Rachel, his best friend and closest thing he has to a sister, considering his is hundreds of miles away in Ohio.
He considers moving into a hotel but the glare Brittany sends him when she notices him packing his bags forces him to discard that option. He considers dropping out of the play but the glare the director gives him when he even suggests it forces him to reconsider.
He notices Rachel's red eyes and blotchy nose but doesn't say anything. Once again, she's made all the decisions concerning their relationship and he's done with caring.
(It's the worst two weeks of his life).
Their show debuts on a Friday night. The room is three quarters full, with Santana, Brittany and Puck sitting in the dead centre of the first row.
It goes off without a hitch – none of the cast forgets a word, the set doesn't collapse, the lighting and sound effects are switched on at the perfect time and the audience looks riveted.
The curtain comes up for the final scene, and she clutches her jacket tighter around her body. Her character is standing in an airport car-park, preparing to say goodbye to the man she loves, who's leaving and may never return. She kisses Blaine's character goodbye and watches as he walks offstage and into the "airport" before wiping away a stray tear and breaking out into song.
Her voice is soft and fragile, unlike the strong lyrics she's been belting out throughout the rest of the play. She sees Brittany wipe her eyes and Santana squeeze her hand before she closes her eyes to sing the last line of the song.
Blaine's voice joins in with hers and the two of them finish the song together, before she opens her eyes and sees Blaine standing there. He runs to here and wraps his arms around her, his face centimetres away from hers.
"What are you doing back?" she whispers quietly.
"I couldn't bear to leave you. You're the love of my life and nothing is great enough to keep me away from you", he whispers back, before pressing his lips against hers.
The curtain falls and the audience claps enthusiastically but she barely notices. Neither of them pull away, their lips still moving as one, as they both apologize without speaking for their part in the fight they had two weeks ago.
He slowly pulls away from her, his eyes boring into hers. "I meant every word I said on the stage. You're the love of my life Rachel, and nothing is great enough to keep me away from you"
"I love you Blaine Anderson", she whispers back, before pressing her lips against his again.
(The curtain rises for the final bow, but neither of the stars notice, too busy wrapped up in each other. The audience cheers, thinking they're still in character, but in the front row, three audience members cheer louder than the rest, knowing that this is more than a play).
They know that they need to talk. They need to discuss his issues with not getting into Julliard and the way he feels like a late, and somewhat unwelcome, addition to the small family. They need to discuss her abandonment issues and her paranoia that he'll leave her.
They both know that it won't be perfect, not straight away, but that it will be worth it in the long run.
After all, fate brought them together, and who are they to argue with fate?