*Italicizes are flashbacks

Frank

I looked down at the colossal stack of papers piled haphazardly on the kitchen table. I released a tired sigh, things just aren't the same since My Chemical Romance broke up.

We were a band around for over 10 years and it was honestly getting tiresome, we had accomplished everything we felt we could had achieved so much and where so grateful for everything we had accomplished through mcr, it's just in the years after, things started to fall apart for me.

I remembered in the following days after the breakup, we had all promised to stay close, we swore none of us would drift apart. But that was all before Gerard's daughter,Bandit, was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia. The worry and stress Gerard and Lindsey had gone through was surreal and in the end they decided to move across the country to be closer to the hospital with the best cancer treatment program, all the way in New York. After Gerard left we all started to drift apart. Mikey moved near Gerard to be closer to him and Bandit, Ray found a beautiful girlfriend and was trying to have children last I heard and I'm kept busy with my twin daughters Cherry and Lilly. My twin girls are the light of my life and the only ones there for me anymore. After Gerard left I became slightly depressed and distant. Jamia ended up leaving me without a word, barely even a note. Truthfully, I dont even blame her for leaving me, I wasn't acting like much of a husband, I was to strung up over Gerard when she left. My mind wandered back to the memories Gerard and I had once shared and I smiled. Ah yes, I remember the flirting that would go on during the live shows and the makeout sessions we would share when drunk. There was always something between us, but the memory that rings most clearly in my mind was a moment we shared before he left and mcr broke up.

The show in Los Angeles finished nearly 2 hours ago and it was getting late. I was laying on one of the couches in the reserved rooms while the rest of the band continued to party, however I wasn't in much of a celebrating mood and instead focused on keeping my eyes open and not drifting off to sleep on the comfy leather coach. The room was spacious and unoccupied except for me, until I heard the doorknob jiggle.

Gerard walked in at that moment, looking handsome as ever. He was always beautiful to me, with his pale skin and dark piercing eyes. He joked that he was a vampire, meanwhile I thought his uncommon traits only strived to make him more attractive. I had always wondered why he had took an interest in me, with my mousy brown hair and dull features, combined with my short stature, I thought I was no where near in his league. But somehow he saw something I could not and plopped right down next to me.

"Tired Frankie?" Gerard asked with a smirk.
"Maybe a little, Gee." And I couldn't help the yawn that escaped me in that moment.

"Yeah, it was a pretty intense show tonight, I thought you would nearly break all your fingers the way you were playing the guitar" He said with a slight laugh

I smiled at this.
"i mean, it just gets so intense sometimes, I can't control it. The moment takes over." I said in reply to my dangerous method of playing the guitar, but a glimmer in Gerard's eye told me he had caught a double meaning.

"yeah I know what you mean, the moment takes over me during the show sometimes to, and then I find myself kissing you." he added while sliding his hand over my knee.

I noticed the lusty look in his eye and how he leaned closer. Oh how I loved these moments when Gerard would get closer to me and show me attention,I mean it did get lonely touring sometimes but now my emotions had transformed into something new altogether and I couldn't let myself be distracted by Gerard's seductive glance.
"Listen Gerard, we need to talk about this, we have wives and kids now and maybe it's time to slow down, don't get me wrong it's fun to fool around like this but I don't think you understand my feelings for you."

We had always fooled around and our wives had understood, we were incredibly close and the heated moments we shared on stage were just used to rile the fans, or so they thought. My feelings for Gerard had changed into something so unfamiliar in the past weeks. Gerard's bright smiles and passing glances affected me in a completely different way now. These new feelings, only heightened by Gerard's increasingly frequent attempts to hook up, only further strengthened my idea that this needed to end. I loved my wife and so did Gerard and these moments just could not go on, I realized I liked Gerard to much.

Gerard pondered over my words for a moment before slowly responding:

"how exactly do you feel about me Frankie"

I took a deep sigh, this was the hard part.

"I'm not sure why but for some reason my feelings for you have changed over the past few weeks. I feel more for you and I want more from you. Even just seeing your smile or catching your glance makes me anxious. I guess you could say I have a crush on you, and I think we should stop all this fooling around before I have the urge to take it to the next level.

Gerard was silent for awhile after this. Then he muttered an "okay", nodded, and walked out of the room. The door slamming shut coincided with my heart breaking and right then I realized I shouldn't have been so stupid and I never should have told Gerard.

In the weeks following that moment Gerard stopped all physical contact with me. He didn't ignore me as to not seem so suspicious, he still joked around and talked to me in front of the band, but he was clearly upset. Then the band broke up, Gerard moved away and I was blown into the whirlwind that was my sad current life.

Which now brings me back to the mountainous stack of bills on my kitchen counter.

I was never good at paying bills on time, usually Jamia would remind me. And with the mansion we all lived in the bills were always excessive and expensive. That's why Cherry, Lilly, and I are packing up our things and moving to New Jersey. Moving to New Jersey originally sounded like a good idea to downsize and hopefully get rid of some of the bills we have living in this colossal mansion. Plus, we'll be closer to family and I really missed my home state.
Suddenly, Cherry and Lilly burst into the kitchen shouting and laughing. They both jumped into my arms and the feeble kitchen chair almost tipped over. I smiled at my girls and thought happily about the future.

Yes, we all broke our promise and I truly miss my friends dearly but life moves on and things change.

This is my new beginning.