There was a request on Tumblr for a fic that took a more realistic approach to Elsa's reaction to her isolation. So this is my attempt also this is slow burn Elsanna.
Updates should be at least once a week.
Feel free to review, ask questions, and give suggestions. (No beta all errors are my own)
The candle on the corner of the desk started to flicker, Elsa watched the wick burn to an end, and the flame snuff out. She stared off into the darkness, the quiet study comforted her. Within its stone walls she remained free from nobles who wanted to shake hands and suitors who wanted a kiss and even her sister. Yet, despite the freeing environment of the study the kingdom of Arendelle still lurked beyond the dark walls.
Arendelle required the majority of her time and the reward consisted of longer nights and aching muscles that were left untended. While she understood her responsibility she couldn't destroy the feelings of fear the crept up throughout the day. She longed for her isolation and the comfortable feeling of silence surrounding her.
She roused herself from her thoughts and with a quick flick of the wrist Elsa struck another match and lit a new candle. The light shined across the wooden table, her eyes found yet another trade form. She picked up the quill and dipped it into the ink; her signature now graced the bottom of the page.
At least Arendelle would continue to receive chocolate.
Kai stood gracefully outside the study's door, after his years of servitude he knew that Elsa came out into the world, the world didn't go to her. His pudgy knuckles raked against the door, a groan came from the other side. He cleared his throat.
"Your grace, we've received more trade requests as well as a number of inquires as to yours and Anna's eligibility." No response ever filtered backand he left making his way back to the main hall. A number of other servants were gathered about working on various tasks. The carrier stood rather impatiently his weight shifting from one foot to another, and his hand clenched firmly around the papers. He gave a slight nod when Kai paid him his penance and quickly exited.
He shifted through the letters tossing the ones about marriage and arranged meetings into the fire and delegated a few minor matters to himself. A cook scurried past with Elsa's tray and Kai seamlessly dropped the remaining mail onto the plate.
The plate and the mail made it back up to the study and were placed gently outside the door. The cook knocked on the door twice before leaving. Elsa stood on the other side slightly agitated, opening up the door should have been simple enough yet it seemed to crane far above her. She felt her hands starting to shake and slowly the mantra she had worked to expel came rushing back. She clenched her hands and bit her lip, straining to hear the faint sounds of the cook moving away. The silence lasted long enough that she deemed it safe.
She had been wrong.
Outside her door Anna stood with the tray a large grin plastered on her face. Elsa instinctively gripped the door, her powers flared icing the back of the door through her gloves. Elsa gave her a half smile.
"Morning."
"I saw this outside your door I figured you wouldn't want it to get cold." Anna paused "Actually, maybe you would, or not, I'm not really sure." her face flushed slightly, she bit her lip to stop talking. A slight cracking sound echoed behind Elsaand she rather abruptly removed her hand from the door. Anna cautiously watched her slightly arching an eyebrow.
"Thanks." replied Elsa, her voice even. She held her gloved hands out waiting for Anna to hand over the plate. After a few moments of hesitation Anna finally spoke up.
"I had hoped that you would want to eat breakfast with me?" her weight shifted from foot to foot and she looked down at the plate. Her anxiety clearly noticeable. Elsa grimaced slightly before clearing her throat.
"Sure." the response was a bit unsteady. Her younger sister's eyes lifted from the floor, wide and excited. "But," Elsa trudged on "We have to eat in my study. I have a significant amount of paper work to get through."
By the time Elsa had finished her sentence Anna had already shoved the tray into Elsa's hands and dashed down to the kitchen to get herself a plate. Elsa watched Anna's dress flow behind, her lips turned up in a slight smile when she heard the sounds of some armor clicking and a rather loud 'sorry' echo through the halls.
Anna made it back to the study in record time, but Elsa had finished most of her meal and was already rather far along in the newest notices. Anna skidded into the room surprisingly elegant, Elsa hid a slight a smile. Anna sat down in the chair across from the desk and dropped her plate on the table to her right. It clinked louder than expected which caused Elsa to jump slightly her pen nib tearing into the parchment.
She looked up Anna sheepishly looked back at her, the younger sister opened her mouth a few times in an attempt of an apology but, settled with a slight squeak and went back to eating with a tinge of red on her cheeks.
Elsa crumpled the ruined response to Corona's trade offer and began again on a new piece of paper. She tried to concentrate but with each word she became distinctly more aware of Anna's gaze. She finally gave up and placed the pen in the inkwell.
"Yes?"
Anna nearly dropped the fork she had been twirling in her hand not expecting to be caught staring.
"No...no..nothing." She stammered.
"You've been staring at me the whole time you must want something."
"Well," Anna started rather unsure of herself. She put her hands on her knees and smoothed out her dress. "I just wanted to get to know you better. It just seems that we haven't done much since." She trailed off "I mean I realize the kingdom takes time but, I just had expected a little more interaction, or something."
Elsa quickly pushed down the guilt that flared within her.
"I wouldn't say that's entirely true. You joined me in the-"
"A trade meeting doesn't suffice as getting to know one another." Anna retorted. Elsa bristled a little at being cut off, even by her sister. "At no point did we actually even speak to one another."
"It's not ideal but-"
"There isn't a but, Elsa. You haven't done anything with me." Elsa opened her mouth but Anna continuedon,"And this doesn't count either, you've been doing paperwork the whole time. I just want a bit of time, it's not like I'm asking you to build a snowman."
It took Anna a moment to grasp that those words had just slid off her tongue. That whole phrase still brought up rather negative feelings on both sides. The room chilledand Elsa's face became unreadable.
"I need to finish this agreement." Elsa glared at her sister.
"No fucking kidding." Before Elsa could respond to Anna vitriolic statement, she left and rather loudly slammed the door sending ripples throughout the room. Elsa couldn't control it and blasted a stack of books sending them flying across the room. She rested her head on the edge of the desk while she worked to bring her rage under control.
By the end of the day Elsa's mental and emotional strength were faltering. The strain of kingdom affairs coupled with peoples need to introduce themselves and shake hands had her on edge. She nearly iced a guard who accidentally bumped into her. Another meeting and she could retreat to her room. Images of the morning flashed through her mind she still hadn't seen Anna since then.
She slouched in her throne allowing just the briefest moment of respite. Her thoughts swirled around apologizing to Anna or demanding an apology. The scuffling of feet on the stone roused Elsaand she quickly resumed proper posture. The Kai had informed her earlier that another suitor arrived and demanded an audience. Kai normally with a few well placed phrases could get rid of the them,but this one appeared to be rather cunning.
Kai walked forward with a scraggly young but, rather handsome gentleman. His clothes screamed regal when Elsa glanced at Kai he offered a rather sympathetic look in return.
"May I present Victor of Galicia." With the introduction done the Kai bowed and left. Victor shifted and knelt down on a knee. He began speak when a door behind Elsa opened and Anna walked in. She was completely oblivious to the current scene.
Victor didn't move to speak again and looked confused his eyes flickering between Anna and Elsa.
"Apologies." Elsa quickly stood and made her way over to Anna, whom had abruptly paused to the far left of the throne. Elsa advanced on her getting rather close and lowered her voice.
"You need to leave." Anna arched an eyebrow at the rather stark commandand Elsa noticed her features adapt a more defensive posture.
"I didn't realize that on top of not getting to see my sister, I was forbidden from moving about the castle."
Elsa glanced back to Victor who now stood waiting for the conversation to be finished.
"I never said that," Elsa frowned "I'm in the middle of something right now." Anna looked over at Victor.
"Oh, I see" she seethed, Elsa was temporarily taken back at the hostility her sister displayed "so suitors get to see my sister more than I do, how quaint."
With that Anna turned and left. Elsa wanted to reach out and grab her arm yet she couldn't force herself to. The meeting with Victor resumed and ended with a simple 'no' despite his insistence and Elsa disappeared to find Anna.
Elsa managed to find her with relative ease, which was surprising considering the girl's knowledge of the castle's hiding places far exceeded her own. Anna had hidden in a corner of the portrait room, she was hugging her knees to her chest. Elsa's anger fled the moment her eyes landed on her sister. Anna made no motion to acknowledge Elsa even when she had sat down next to her. The silence stretched out for several moments until Elsa finally relented.
"I'm sorry." She didn't specify for what exactly but hoped it wouldn't matter. Anna didn't respond for several moments, until she ground the palm of her hands into her eyes. Elsa felt the unmistakeable clench of guilt in the pit of her stomach. "I'm sorry." she said again her voice wavering. Anna shook her head and breathed in.
"It's fine." her voice cracked slightly.
"No, it's not. I'm not helping." Elsa's eyes narrowed in frustration "I," she fumbled for the words "I just can't break myself from the isolation."
"I know that but, Elsa have you even been trying. I can deal with halfhearted attempts and working meals but, gangly suitors see you more than I doand I would hope I'm better than a suitor. Especially considering I'm not in it for the money or sex." her voice trailed offand Elsa's face flushed red. They sat next to each other for several minutes while Elsa struggled to control her blush. Anna pushed herself up off the floor and moved to leave when Elsa grabbed her.
"I'll work- on it." Her response wasn't elegant, nothing like what a Queen might compose. She held Anna in place while she waited for a reply. Anna let out a slight huff and looked back, Elsa watched Anna's features trying to gauge her reaction.
Her mouth opened several times before Anna turned away casting her gaze towards the paintings that lined the walls. Elsa followed her gaze, Joan, she never could determine why her sister had such a peculiar fascination with the girl.
"Okay." The word snapped Elsa out of her thought induced daze, she looked up to see Anna watching her. Anna took a step closer and gave her a slight shoulder nudge, "Okay?" Elsa removed her hand but gave Anna a slight nod back.