"I hate you!" she screamed, slamming the door and locking herself into the bathroom. She opened drawers frantically, looking for the only thing that brought her back to reality. Finding it, she let out a long hiss and slid the blade down her arm, watching the blood blossom up from her skin. The red lines slowly turned to black, and her entire vision blurred, then darkened. Sinking down against the wall, Mimi blacked out completely. And that was how Roger found her the next morning.
Mimi awoke in a hospital bed, wondering where she was. Then the memories of yesterday's fight flooded back to her, and she tried to get out of bed to go make up with Roger. But as soon as she lifted her head, she felt weak and dizzy, so she lay back down and went to sleep.
Meanwhile, Roger was having a conversation with the doctor.
"Will she be alright?" he asked.
"Yes, she will regain her strength soon. But you should know, she has not been well. We discovered scars all the way down her arms. Do you know how long this has been happening, or why?" the doctor said.
"I had no idea that she would harm herself like this, or why she felt the need to. All I know is that when she did it, we had just fought." Roger was worried about his wife. They had been married for three years, but they still had fights every once in a while. These were normal fights though, ones that every couple went through. He couldn't understand why she was so affected by them.
Mimi awoke again, and this time she knew why she had blacked out in the first place. She found that she could sit up in bed, which was obviously a good sign. Then she saw that the hospital gown did not cover her scars. She hurriedly ripped some pieces of the blanket, and wrapped them around her arms. The last thing she needed was for Roger to know she was hurting herself, after she had sworn against harming herself. She had been talking about drugs when she swore, but she knew now that it extended further.
When Roger got back home, the first thing he saw on the table was that he hadn't paid the electric bill. That was the last thing on his mind right now. He was remembering the conversation he had with Mimi, before they were even married. She had sworn she wouldn't harm herself, and look at this! She had sworn! He couldn't believe she had gone against her word. Roger was so confused. He felt a flood of emotions, ready to break the dam he had built against them. He was mad at Mimi for breaking her promise to him, and making him suffer like this. He was mad at himself for not knowing or bothering to find out. He was especially concerned, and worried about his wife. The only thing he knew was that no matter what he was feeling, he loved Mimi with all his heart, regardless of what she had done.
She had to get out of the hospital to talk to Roger. No, she wouldn't talk to Roger. Roger was going to leave her. He loved so tenderly, but had a temper like fire. There was no question of his anger at her. He was going to leave her, and that was that. She would run away, stealing her things from the house in the night, and then start over. The painful stab of her love for Roger would just have to be ignored. That was the only thing to do.
Roger knew that Mimi made rash decisions. He also knew that every time she looked at the scars on her wrists and arms, she would remember how he had been so cruel, first fighting with her so much that she was forced to harm herself, and then not bothering to take care of her, even though the doctor had said to go home. Mimi was going to be angry at Roger, and she was going to leave him. That much he knew for sure. He knew what to do. He would leave the house, taking his things and making a new living, somewhere else. He loved Mimi, and always would, but could not deal with the pain of her not loving him back. Picking up his guitar, he began to strum, pouring his heart into the song that flowed from his lips.
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you
The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you
Lying in her hospital bed, Mimi looked up at the ceiling, wondering why it had come to this. Closing her eyes, she softly began to sing.
Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves
Without you, the tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash
The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you
The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you
Roger felt tears start to escape out of his eyes, and did nothing to stop them. Soon the tears were silently streaming down his face, but he continued to sing in a slightly wavering voice.
The world revives
Colors renew
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me blue
Without you
Mimi turned over, singing into the pillow, her voice muffled. Soon the pillow was wet with her tears, and she realized that some of her cuts had reopened, mixing blood with salty tears that stung her cheeks. She cursed herself for ruining everything. She cursed herself for everything she had done. But still she sang.
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you
Life goes on
But I'm gone
'Cuz I die
Without you