I don't own Big Time Rush...just wish I did.

~Chapter One~

I was getting over a bad break up when I first met Kendall. Neither of us were really ready for a relationship, so we decided on being friends. But that didn't last long. All it took was a single kiss. Just a single kiss changed our entire friendship.

We were bored sitting in the hotel and because of their crazy fans we couldn't leave without getting mobbed. There was nothing to watch on T.V., so the guys got a group together and we played truth or dare.

I really don't know if I should thank or curse that damn game. Things were good between Kendall and I, now things were just complicated. More complicated then I ever wanted things to be.

"So what are you thinking so deeply about?" Kendall sat next to me on the bus, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Nothing. What are you up too?"

"I was looking for you, actually."

"Well you found me, so what now?"

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know, because you've been avoiding me like you were mad at me." He sighed. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, why would you think you did something wrong?" I looked up from my book. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then it has to do with the kiss."

"It has nothing to do with the kiss, Kendall. By the time I was your age, I was married, I had a mortgage, and a three year old child." I sighed and put my book down. "I'm not right for you."

"I don't care about any of that. I know what I want and that's you."

"It's not just me you have to date, it's also Gracie. You have to think about that before you decide you want to jump into a relationship with me. I like you Kendall, I really do. I just think it would be a huge mistake for us to get involved more then we already are."

Before he could say anything my sister Cassie and Gracie barged onto the bus laughing. It warmed my heart to know that Gracie wasn't hurt by her father walking out on us.

"Oh hi Kendall, Jade."

"How was your sound check?"

"It was fun! Auntie Cassie let me run around on the stage!" Gracie climbed up on the couch between Kendall and I.

"That sounds like fun." I kissed the top of her head. "But do you know what time it is?" Gracie just shook her head. "It's nap time."

"No, no nap time!"

"If you take a nap now, I'll make sure you get an extra scoop of ice cream after dinner." Cassie smiled sweetly at Gracie, while I just glared at her. "Come on, I'll even tuck you in."

"Fine, you win this one."

Gracie slid off the couch and followed her Aunt to the back of the bus. I shook my head at them.

"She's a great little girl." Kendall said reminding me he was there.

"I know." I looked at him. "I can't have her hurt again."

"What about what you want?"

"Right now it really doesn't matter what I want. I need to put Gracie first."

"And I get that I do, but you also need to take care of yourself or have some to do it for you."

"That's sweet Kendall really it is, but you don't need to saddle yourself with us. You're barely out of your teens you don't need to date someone with a kid. Go out and date some your own age."

"We are just talking in circles here." He stood up. "But this isn't over."

I didn't say anything as he walked off our bus. I sighed and picked my book up. It was to bad that I couldn't get back into it. I just kept replaying the conversation I just had with Kendall over in my head.

I know I was right to tell him that we shouldn't be together, but why did it feel like I was breaking my own heart. I closed my eyes and laid my head on the back on the couch.

"You are so stupid." My seventeen year old sister said.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"What stupid thing did I do now?"

"Why did you tell Kendall no?" She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. "Can't you see he's mad about you! God I know Mom didn't raise a dumbass. Anyone can tell he has feeling for you just by look at him. You have your head shoved so far up your own ass, you don't see they way he watches you from across the room." She threw her hands up. "Gracie even can see it. And she's happy about. God I could kill Todd for fucking you up so badly."

"Todd is dead." I swallowed hard. "His Mom called me last night. He was driving drunk again."

"Oh my God." She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me. "In so sorry. Have you told Gracie yet?"

I just shook my head and leaned into her. How do you tell your child that her father is dead?

"How am I going to do this?" I pulled away from her and wiped my face. "I don't know if I can do this. It was hard enough telling her he left us, now this? God what am I going to do?"

"Go shag the shit out of Kendall before the show?"

I slapped her shoulder, but it made me laugh.

"What, I know he'd be game."

"I'm not going to use him like that." I smiled at her. "Though it would be a lot of fun. Do you have any idea how long it's been?"

"No, and I don't need to know." She stood up. "I need to go get ready for the meet and greet. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go be the pop star you are."

"I love you sis. And I'll be there when you're ready to tell Gracie."

"Thanks, I'll need you there."

She smiled and headed off the bed, but stopped in the door way.

"So do you want me to send Kendall back?"

I just threw a pillow at her head as she jumped off the bus.

As much as I would love for Kendall be here holding me, I needed to get myself together so I could tell Gracie. This was going to destroy her. Even though she hasn't seen her dad since we left for tour, she still talked to him every day. I wonder how long it will take for her to ask to talk to him.

God when did my life get so fucked up? Oh right when I got drunk and ended up sleeping with Todd at an after Prom party. Part of me was still pissed that our parents made us marry. If they hadn't it would have saved a lot of heartbreak down the road for everyone involved. God knows I'm over the heartbreak.

It wasn't until two days later that I was able to get Kendall on his own, away from the rest of the group. Even though it was just the two of us in the room, he was still ignoring me. Finally I got fed up with it and walked right over to him and planted a big ole kiss on him. He pulled away shocked.

"What was that for?"

"So you'd stop ignoring me. There's a few things I wanted to say to you." I laced our fingers together. "Sometimes I forget that I'm only a few years older then you, but when I look at you I see the guy Todd use to be when we were in high school. The guy I fell so hard for. And then I remember who he turned out to be and I push you away."

"What happened?"

"Were fine the first few years we were married, but then he lost his job and it just went down hill from there." I wiped my face with my free hand. "I know you're not him, but I can't help how I feel. But maybe with your help I can over come that fear."

He smiled at me and kissed me. I pulled my hand out of his and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling us closer together. He put his hands on my hips.

I pulled away breathless.

"I really need to thank who ever taught you to kiss."

He just laughed and kissed me again. I moaned into his mouth.

Damn why had I been denying myself this for the last two months? Gods that was so stupid of me.

"Good God, I really didn't need to see this."

Kendall and I jumped apart. Turning I saw James and my sister staring at us.

"Uh, did you guys need something?" I couldn't help but blush. I so felt like a teenager again.

"We were just looking for you two, ya know making sure you didn't kill each other."

"Did it look like we were trying to kill each other?" Kendall raised an eyebrow at them.

"Well it did look like you were trying to eat each others faces off." Cassie shrugged.

"Right. So where is Gracie?"

"We left her with Carlos and Logan."

I started laughing hard. Almost falling over I had to lean on Kendall for support.

"I don't get it, what's so funny?" James asked looking at me.

"She thinks Gracie is the best form of birth control out there." Caisse just shook her head.

"It worked for you." I wiped my eyes. "Remember when I caught you with what's his name when you were 14? Good times."

"This I want to hear." James smiled at my sister.

"I don't think so." Cassie tried pulling James from the room. "Jade go recuse the others from your monster."

James just let Cassie from the room as I laughed ay them.

"So what did you do to your sister."

"It was shortly after she came to live with me. I came home early from work because Gracie got sick at daycare, her and this kid Brandon were in the living room making out. I didn't want her making the same mistakes that I did, so I made her watch Gracie for a week while I worked. She didn't last three days."

"That's pretty funny." He wrapped his arm around my waist. "So should we go rescue the boys?"

"If we have too." I sighed. "I hope she didn't hurt them too badly."

When we reached the green room, Logan was tied to a chair and there was no sign on Carlos anywhere. And Gracie was sitting on the couch reading her book.

"Oh hi Mommy, Kendall." Gracie put her book down and looked up at us.

"Where is Carlos?" Kendall asked for me, since I was having such a hard time not laughing.

"She locked him in the closet over there." Logan pointed to the closet with his head. "Will someone please untie me?"

That's when I lost it. I just busted out laughing. It was too funny and I just couldn't help it. I sat down on the floor and just laughed.

"Mommy, are you okay?" Gracie slid off the couch and walked over to me.

"Yeah, I'm okay Baby." I pulled her unto my lap as Kendall went to untie Logan. "So I see you had fun, but what have I told you about attacking your babysitters?"
"It's not nice and I shouldn't do it."

"Yes, and then why did you do it to Logan and Carlos, when they were nice enough to watch you?"
"Cause they didn't think I could." She said it so proudly, that I couldn't help by laugh.

"Can I get some help? I can't get these knots undone."

"Gracie, go help Kendall, while I let Carlos out of the prison you locked him in."

"Do I have to?"

"Do you want ice cream after dinner?"

"Fine, but I'm doing this under protest."

"You'll be fine." I stood her up and pushed her towards Kendall.

I pulled myself off the floor and headed towards the closet where Carlos was locked. I guess they will know better than to challenge my six year old. They will never live this down.

I pulled the chair from under the door knob then opened the door. Carlos was sitting on the floor playing a game on his phone.

"You're free." I giggled.

"Finally." I held my hand out and helped him up.

"So what happened?"

"You don't want to know and let's just leave it at that."

"If you say so." I smiled at him as we headed over to the others. "I most likely don't want to know anyways how a six year old out smarted two 22 year olds."

"It's not funny."

"Oh come on, it's a little funny." I knocked into his shoulder.

"Okay, fine it's a little funny. I'm just glad I was the first one taken out. I'm never playing hide and seek with her again."

"Come on demon child it's time for your nap."

"Fine I'm tired from playing." She grabbed my hand.

"Say bye to the boys."

"Bye boys, we can play more later."

I just laughed at their faces as we headed towards the exit. Gracie just waved and smiled at them.

After I was done laying her down for her nap, I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. Maybe I'll just take a quick nap, the emotions of today are taking there toll. Not much longer I was fast asleep.

~Kendall's POV~

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as Jade and Gracie walked from the room. It was hard to believe that it was real. With the way we left things the last time we talked, I never imagined that it would turn out this way. I couldn't be happier about it.

"So what's up with you and Ms. Jade?" Logan's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "I don't think she hates you anymore."

"I'm not really sure where things are going between us, we didn't get that far." I sighed. "So who wants to tell me how a six year old out smarted you two?"

"She's to smart for her own good." Carlos just nodded his head in agreement. "She tricked us."

"You both do know she is only six, right?" I was starting to see why Jade found this so funny.

"Who knows where my sister is?" Cassie asked walking into the green room, with James right be hind her.

"She went to put the monster down."

"Gracie is not a monster." Cassie said getting in Logan's face. "She's an intelligent six year old who gets bored easily."

"Cassis, clam down, they are just mad cause your wonderful niece tricked them." I pulled her away from Logan.

"What did she do?"

"She locked Carlos in a closet and tied Logan to a chair. They won't tell us how she did it."

"Hide and seek." Is all Cassie said before she busted out laughing. "What did I tell you guys? Do not, I mean never ever play hide and seek with Gracie."

"I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's done this?" James finally spoke up.

"For her yes," She giggled. "Jade and I did it to our first baby sitter, I really don't remember why, but she never came back."

"So you gave her the idea?"

"Not really, I did tell her the story though." She shrugged. "Anyways I should go find Jade. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye." James kissed her on the cheek making her blush.

She gave a small wave and walked from the room.

"What was that?" I raised an eyebrow at James.

"Not as bad as what we walked in on earlier." James smiled smugly.

"Do we want to know?" Carlos asked.

"They were going at it like teenagers." James laughed.

"We were not." I protested.

"Then do tell me what we walked in on? I mean it seemed to me you had your tongue shoved down her throat."

"Would you believe me if I said I really don't know. we never got that far." I shrugged. "Someone intruded before we could talk about it. And now I will have to wait until after the show to find out. Time for sound check then we need to get ready for the meet and greet."