DISCLAIMER: All recognisable Harry Potter characters belong to Rowling.

Dedicated to my friend, Sanjala. R n R people!

Chapter1: Dumbledore.

Reporter: Hello! Welcome to this week's edition of bookscreen. This week we have the old, wise and gay in both the senses, Albus Percivc Wulfric Brain Dumbledore.
Hello Mr. Dumbledore! How are you?

Dumbledore: I'm fine thank you. How do you do?

Reporter: I'm great thanks. How is afterlife?

Dumbledore: Very comfortable. No need to worry about evil wizards taking over the world. It's a great change.

Reporter: That's nice! Rumours have it that you were romantically involved with Grindelwald. Is it true?

Dumbledore: Yes, it is in fact true. He was kind enough to join me a few months later.

Reporter: How'd the relationship come about?

Dumbledore: We met when we were 17. We seemed to have a lot of common interests. We soon became good friends, and then curiosity took over.
You know how teenage boys are.

Reporter: Yes very understandable. Now, you were killed off in the sixth book by a killing curse. Is there any other way you'd have preferred to die?

Dumbledore: Killed by the killing curse sounds so boring. I would have wanted to die by choking on a diesel flavoured bean while watching 'The bold and the beautiful'.

Reporter: That definitely sounds more interesting. Before you died was there anything you wished to do?

Dumbledore: I've always wanted to clutter my quarters with voodoo dolls and earmuffs. Apart from that I would have loved to be a part of a muggle knitting group and knit a neat scarf and woollen boots for Voldemort.

Reporter: Hm…. Harry seems to have done a lot for the school. Which one of them were you the most grateful for?

Dumbledore: Wow! That's a hard one. Well, the boy's ability to save the day when I was busy with Grindelwald wink wink was very kind of him.

Reporter: Speaking of the best, you yourself have achieved so much. Which one would be your greatest achievement?

Dumbledore: I do believe managing to stay on the chocolate frog's cards, while the Ministry went on a 'Dumbledore bashing spree'.

Reporter: Erm… You are known for your trust and faith in almost everyone, but was there anyone you did not trust?

Dumbledore: There was this greasy boy in -, hang on I'm Dumbledore, I trust everyone!

Reporter: Very honourable. Now for what everyone wonders, what do you do on an average day?

Dumbledore: There are many things I do. Basically, eating, sleeping, pissing off Harry, being vague, having 'private' meetings with Grindelwald, keeping people in the dark and of course hatching plans to take over the world with lemon drops.

Reporter: Nice! We are coming to an end is there anything you would like to say to our readers?

Dumbledore: Yes, there are several things I would like to say. First of all, I am the greatest sorcerer ever lived. Me and my mastermind plans have pulled so many out of the realms of sanity. In a years time I would have taken over the world with lemon drops. Yes, I am proud of myself and remember I am the best ever headmaster of Hogwarts and it is not going to change. And Rowling, I will find you and haunt you for ruining my plans by throwing me out of a pit fragging tower. evil laugh

Reporter: Erm….. Thank you Mr. Dumbledore, that was very insightful. Thank you for coming on the show.

Dumbledore: Anytime!