Life Sucks
Prologue
All I could feel is pain.
I closed my eyes and prayed this nightmare would end.
But it continued. The pain increased as he pushed further into me.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear.
I didn't feel beautiful. I felt disgusted with myself.
I was relieved when he pulled out.
He fixed himself up and kissed me, "This is our little secret. Ok?"
I nodded fearfully before he walked out.
I curled myself into the fetal position.
Why did he continue to do this to me? What had a 14-year-old girl done to deserve this for the past three years?
What had I ever done that had been so horrible, that God would allow my older brother to rape me?
I glanced at the clock next to my bed. 2:37 a.m.
The crying from the next room continued.
I groaned and reluctantly got out of bed.
This shit was gettin' on my nerves. At this rate, I would never get any sleep.
I walked into the room. She was still crying.
I gently picked her out of the crib, but she continued to cry.
For a five month old baby, she had some powerful ass lungs.
Carried her downstairs to the kitchen and fixed her a warm bottle of milk.
When she finally fell asleep, I took her back up to her crib.
I stayed for awhile and watched her sleep. She was a beautiful baby.
But this was gettin' hard. I couldn't do this by myself.
I was only 17 and bein' a single parent was takin' its toll……
Dear Diary,
I hate it here! I hate livin' here. I especially hate her! That bitch of a step-mother!
She thinks she knows everything.
He tries to act like he cares, but I know better.
See, that's why I did what I did.
I wanted to show him exactly what type of bitch he married.
But something went wrong. And now, I don't know what to do.
I'm stuck with this...secret...
No matter what anyone else says, it was an accident.
I didn't mean to do it.
I was tryin' to protect the only person I cared about.
My mother is the only person in the world that I cared about.
The only person and he took her away from me!
What else was I supposed to do?
I've always been taught that 'an eye for an eye' is wrong.
Does that mean 'a death for a death' is wrong too?
Like I said before, I didn't mean to do it.
But I knew no one would understand. So I ran. I ran for ten years.
Murder is murder. My mom didn't raise an idiot. I knew it was a crime.
Even for a six year old.