Not owning Kingdom Hearts.

If you go down to the woods today...

by: Skitts and Lamatikah

chapterone

siblinglylove

♥

Larxene bopped her head in time to the beat of the music that was pouring into her ears in a mad jumble of sharps and flats. She liked her music – it made her feel happy. It was loud music she usually preferred listening to, as it drowned out all background noises and made her ears feel numb for hours after taking the headphones off. She usually couldn't tell what the people were singing but in the music videos they were usually screaming and jumping into oil and setting themselves on fire and that was good enough for Larxene.

She would be in paradise, if it weren't for the annoying little boy sat next to her, poking her. Every time she swatted his intrusive fingers away another sneaky digit would appear to take the place of the previous one.

Any person will know that prodding Larxene over and over again will eventually limp away from a very savage girl minus a leg, or an arm, or a head. Like prodding a bomb to see what it will do. The bomb will explode and you will limp away from a very savage weapon minus a leg, or an arm, or a head.

And sometimes you'll be a little bit too dead to do any activities at all, let alone any activities revolving around 'limping' and 'clutching your stumps in pain' and 'writhing on the floor in agony'.

Roxas was only Larxene's half-brother, however.

Roxas had only lived with Larxene all his life and he had yet to learn how dangerous poking her was. A few trips to the hospital wasn't enough to convince Roxas that she was going to be a serial killer when she got older.

Larxene's eye twitched, and she told herself she'd slap her brother at the end of her song.

The song was making her too happy to kill anything right now, as most of the lyrics of the song seemed to be about killing people, anyway.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

The final strum of a guitar resounded in her ears, and the girl grinned and moved closer to her brother.

We will not go into the (gory) details about what exactly happened between the two (half) siblings, but it all ended up with a split lip, a black eye, a missing leg (well... not really) and a ripped pair of jeans.

"OWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwWWWWWWwwwwwwwWwwWWWWWWWW!" wailed Roxas, in typical 'baby-brother' fashion, his voice dancing around between the top E and the low G, before settling on a sort of 'meep' sound. "My favourite jeans... And my favourite lips... And my favourite eye... Ruined," he mumbled, not sure where to put his hands. To the hole on his jeans, or his bloody lips, or his blackened eye.

Decisions, decisions.

Eventually he decided it would be best to put one hand on his lip to stop the flow of blood and one hand on his aching eye, and let the jeans fend for themselves.

"Kids, please stop arguing," cried Luxord from the front of the car, nearly crashing the car into a tree after Roxas's little outburst. "You'll kill us all and then I'll loose that bet I made with nice man who put the wheel back on car that time Larxene drove it into our front door. And our next-door neighbour."

Larxene smiled a sadistic little smile, giving Roxas a final pinch for good measure.

"But she..." Roxas was about to protest, but found her could not properly describe what Larxene had done to him without resorting to several swear words and wild screams that would undoubtedly make Luxord drive the car into a tree. So instead he decided to sulk and glare at Larxene from his one eye that wasn't covered by his hand.

"You're not even at the campsite and you're already arguing," said Luxord in a reproachful voice, steering the car around some sort of random obstacle, like they were in a bad video game.

"I don't know why you two have to go together. You obviously can't get along and it's about time you stopped being such a girl, Roxas," muttered Eilonwy from the passenger seat at the front, next to Luxord.

Roxas failed to see how him acting like a girl had anything to do with what his mother had previously been talking about, but he didn't say this.

And anyway, even the manliest of men would be reduced to cowering blobs of jelly if they found themselves locked in a car with Larxene for about two hours.

Eilonwy was insane – stark raving bonkers – if she thought Larxene was a lovely, ordinary girl.

Just because she occasionally read fashion magazines, it didn't mean she wasn't a psychotic psychopath. Which she most definitely was. Roxas had seen her fashion magazines ... Or at least, what was left of them.

The girl only seemed to buy them so she could stab all the model's faces with whatever pointy objects she happened to have on her at the time.

Eilonwy liked Larxene more than she liked Roxas, just because she'd always wanted a girl.

Roxas wasn't the insane 'let-us-kill-things' kid.

And Larxene wasn't even Eilonwy's proper child – Roxas was. But Eilonwy didn't care.

"Alright, where did Leon say he was going to pick you up?" asked Luxord from the front of the car. "I bet Cloud it would be at a random field somewhere..."

Luxord really did get over things easily, considering Cloud was the man who stole his first wife, Aerith, away from him. And Luxord had never stabbed Cloud with a knife at any of the New Year's Eve parties like Larxene had (it was only an accident, apparently). He just made bets with him.

Which he then lost.

Which led on to other catastrophic events, like 'Eilonwy tutting'. And the removal of several pieces of their furniture.

"I think he said he was going to pick us up at one of the service stations..." Larxene mumbled, fiddling around with her MP3 player to find another jolly little song about shouting and death.

"Damn. Another fifty bucks wasted," muttered Luxord, glaring at the cars that passed him. "I was so sure Leon would pick you up in a field... He just seems the sort to do something like that, doesn't he? What with his second-hand jackets and e-Bay bought clothes."

"Leon doesn't buy his clothes from e-Bay, honey. Its Uncle Oogie Boogie who does that. And speaking of Oogie Boogie, next time we see him don't comment on his outfit. Just because he's wearing a sack doesn't mean he's not very proud of it... Sacks are the new bin bags, you know?" said Eilonwy.

"God, remember when he used to wear that hideous bin bag? I bet it would set on fire..." said Luxord thoughtfully, pulling up at the service station with a lot of fancy pulls at breaks and whatnot.

"And it did," Roxas chipped into the conversation.

Larxene could not respond with anything witty, however – her music was slowly blasting her eardrums into a state of deafness.

"Yes. Best hundred quid I ever earned," smiled Luxord. "Alright, go and get your suitcases from the boot and wait for Leon by the gas-things. We'll be going now."

Roxas and Larxene hurriedly jumped out of the car and opened the boot, extracting their suitcases.

The family car crap-mobile (wearing its numerous dents and chips and bad paint jobs with pride) reversed into one of the many potted plants growing in the car-park to make it look festive. And so, with much cursing from Luxord, the car drove away, the boot still open, making ominous noises to indicate it was about to snap off at any moment.

Roxas shot a rather nervous look down at his suitcase, that was making odd squeaking noises and shaking about a little bit.

"Larxene... My suitcase is alive..."

The girl merely smiled and nodded, being obliviously clueless to what Roxas had just said.

So... There they were... Waiting for Leon to come and pick them up so they could go camping, Roxas's suitcase jumping around in his hands.

Just stood there, waiting, by the gas pumps.

Until somebody told them to move.

And they moved.

A/N: This is Skitts, who wrote this all. Whilst Lamatikah listened to her (MY) MP3 player.

Randoom guy: Hey! You speeelt orl vese wurds rong! It is all ur fult! I will kill yuuuuuu!

Lamatikah:/in background singing whatever the hell she wants/ Behind these hazel risen gates won't open up for my immortal...

Skitts: ... o.O

♥

A/N-A/N: Yes, we put it up on this account. Because maybe more people will read it now. Maybe. Hopefully. Anyways, three reviews for two updates will do, because we had already had the second chapter up, so if you review - then we'll put that chapter up AND the third chapter! How's that?! But, after that, chapters shall be put up as normal...