hey guys,

i was just doin a little writing and well... this is it. I found it quite funny so i thought why not share it. Maybe you'll like it too. Maybe you won't... let's see how it goes.

Oh, and just so you ppl know, i'm sorry for any kind of grammar or spelling mistakes but well, i'm a) betaless (is that a word?!) and b) not a native english speaker soo... well, suck it up ;)

And just to sum it up: This story is just a fun little something. Nothing angsty or well... in any way disturbing. Just... stuff.

So... well... (don't you just love these kinds of unnecassary in-between-words) enjoy :D

Prolog:

Seriously, I'm definitely going crazy over here. It's somehow started like a century ago, at least it feels like it and has now eventually managed to destroy my entire life. How the hell did THIS happen and more importantly why did it have to happen to me? Oh, before you start making any kind of stupid assumptions, no, I'm not pregnant. To be frank I'm further away from getting an opportunity to even get knocked up than ever before.

Only a few months ago my life had been like a fairytale. Well, a pretty modern – and boring – one I'd have to admit, but still, I was actually content with my... well, being. Wouldn't call it a life yet, but some sort of an existence. It was my senior year in high school, I was neither popular nor a loner, rather some sort of an average student. Only with better grades. And more brain cells.

But okay, I have to admit, I never really rocked the whole boyfriend thing, though I might have to add that I never really tried either. Not that I didn't want one, it was just for the lack of a considerable contestants, that I didn't really get settled in that sort of life experience.

On the other hand my friends were actually hitting it off quite well. There's Alice, my best pixie psycho stylist/therapist friend – she said that herself one day, I seriously laughed my head off! - and her boyfriend Jasper the... well, the Jasper.

There isn't a whole lot to say about him I guess. He's nice in a cool way and always speaks in some sort of a mumbled voice. Sometimes it's like he's trying to send messages via Morse code, but Alice understands him nevertheless. It's like they've been created for each other, really. Well yes, standing next to each other he looks like he's gonna put her in his bag and carry her back home to eat, but one gets used to her being a dwarf and him a giant. At least their children have a realistic chance of becoming a normal height. That's a plus.

Then there's Rosalie the most beautiful bitch on planet earth and her big... no HUGE boyfriends Emmett. Who I might add is also my cousin. Motherly. Don't ask. There's no real resemblance between me and him as he's well... massive and I'm... not. As I've said, average. He and Rosalie have been together forever and therefore she's become kind of a sister to me. At the same time she's living right next door, which made it quite inevitable for us to become friends.

Last but not least there's Cullen. Oh damn, excuse me – Edward. Don't tell him I forgot again... but... well anyway, let's continue... where was I?... Oh, right, Edward. For some "Weird" reason he's always making me forget what I've been talking about... haha, yes, it's this obvious.

As embarrassing as it is... I'm pretty much in love with him.

But really, before you judge me and give me this whole crap about friends being friends blah blah I might have to say... YOU'D BE THE SAME IF YOU KNEW HIM! There you have it! Cause frankly, I don't think there's ever been a more... I really don't want to say awesome, as there's so many well... stupid bitches who just luuuuurve saying this word in context to well... everything they consider awesome (like a blow dryer or fake fingernails – you get my point), but in this case I think there really is no way of avoiding it cause he seriously is just awesome.

We've known each other for ages and been best friend just as long. Now, twelve years later, he's the king of our school – the captain of the football team, the head of the student council and the only imaginable candidate of giving the speech at our graduation. He's good with the lady's, too... although, erm, no, that doesn't really cover it... more like he's slept with about half of our student body (just so you know, half of our student body is female) and still every girl is trying to get into HIS pants... well you see – awesome.

I really don't appreciate the attention he gets from girls, but really, there isn't anything I can do about it. If he's okay with screwing all the girls in the USA – at least the pretty and skinny ones – than well, I've got to come to terms with that.

I remember the time when he told me about his first girlfriend – Lauren. He'd told my while we were out eating Chinese at our favorite restaurant in Port Angeles. We were both just starting high school and had been talking about the new people we'd met, when he suddenly said all too casually:

"By the way, Bells. I'm going out with Lauren now."

I felt like a big ass stone had hit me right on the head. Or a car. Or a freaking dinosaur.

I've got to say I don't really remember my reaction – must have suppressed this traumatic memory for good. I only recall something like me rambling about how happy I was for him and Lauren and how I'd always known, whereas I was thinking how I had been caught up in my fantasy world before where Edward would always stay asexual and how the hell I could make this dinosaur stop keeping me from breezing and rather eat Lauren up.

Two month later he told me that he lost his virginity to Lauren. For over two weeks I kept crying myself to sleep when I was sure my father was already asleep and nobody would notice. It was a tough time. Not like emo, seeing no sense in life anymore tough but... well, just tough. Like teenager tough. That includes a wrong haircut and gaining two pounds. But still to be taken VERY seriously.

Now, three years later I'd gotten kind of used to Edward fucking everybody – in the literally fucking everybody sense. What kind of relieved me was only the fact that every time he was fed up with one of his new playmates and ditched them without an explanation he always kept coming back to me. Only in a non physical way. Bummer.

But now... well, I messed up I'd say. Like big time. Like seeing no sense in life anymore messed up. Not like I'm really considering killing myself, never. Honestly, I worked way to hard to achieve my good grades for me to waste them now. But still... I don't know how to fix it. And I only know that life is never gonna be the same again. Like ever.

haha, dramatic teenagers just crack me up. But hang on, that was just the prolog so... why don't you check out the first chapter and maybe tell me whether you liked it or not...

have an awesome (^^) day

your Elitess (which by the way is a brand for bottled water, which I was drinking as i created this accound. All the names i could think of where already occupied so i thought: What the heck, and used my drink for inspiration. Just a shame that it was just water and not a cocktail called: "Dirty hoe" or the non-alcoholic version of sex on the beach: "holding hands on the beach" - but well, can't fight destiny^^)