This is a story from one of my favourite Supernatural Authors, carryonmy-waywardson. So I just had to make it Merthur. Enjoy!
Something creaks against the floor, the noise barely there, and Merlin tosses over in his bed, hands shoving under the pillow. His eyes are wide open, locked on the wall in front of him, watching as shadows dance in the soft moonlight. There's no other noise in the room save for Arthur's breathing and occasional snoring, which tells Merlin that he's awake — that this is real.
His breath comes in harsh pants, a cold sweat starting on the nape of his neck, slicking down until it reaches his shoulders. Merlin shudders, grips the pillow tightly and curls up into a ball, bringing his knees toward his chest, trying not to make any noise. The bed squeaks underneath him and Merlin yelps, shutting his eyes tightly, but all he sees behind the lids is Morgana: the Witch, killing Arthur — Merlin's absolute worst nightmare, come back to reclaim him.
Morgana's inside Merlin's head, wreaking absolute havoc; pulling down walls Merlin put up on his own, letting memories flood into his mind, things he's put away, things he never wants to think of again. Thoughts of that day — the death, the war, the torture — scramble into Merlin's mind and he whimpers, biting down on the pillow in an effort to muffle his noises.
The thoughts get worse and soon Merlin is reduce to a sweaty, shuddering pile on the middle of his bed, eyes clenched tightly, the heels of his hands pressed against his eyelids. He whimpers - loudly - and turns onto his back, breath caught into his throat and strangled noise leaving his lips.
Merlin wants to scream, wants to call out for Arthur — for help, for anything — but the words don't form, don't leave his throat, and he whimpers helplessly. Inside his head, Morgana laughs - the noise reverberating off Merlin's skull, echoing throughout - and he finally screams, letting it out, his eyes snapping open.
And Arthur wakes up the second after Merlin starts screaming and sits straight up in bed, gasping for his own breath, listening to his lover pant for his. Turning the light on, Arthur gets out of bed quickly and makes his way to Merlin's side, pushing the sheets off of him, noticing that they're soaked.
Sweat coats Arthur's hands and he chews on the corner of his lip, his fingers shaking as he they move toward Merlin's hair, carding through the soaking wet locks. He pushes Merlin's hair away from his forehead and sits on the edge of the bed, moving his fingers down the curve of Merlin's jaw, whispering, "Shh, baby — it's okay, I'm here."
"Arthur," Merlin manages to croak out, his hands darting forward, sweaty fingers gripping Arthur's shirt tightly, pulling it away from his skin. "Arthur, hurts." His voice is childish and pathetic, sad and soft, and Arthur's heart breaks when he hears it, moving his hand along Merlin's cheek slowly, shushing him quietly.
Merlin writhes on the bed, but his tremors slow down to Arthur's touch, focusing on the rough, calloused skin moving against his own sweat slick skin. "Dead," he chokes out, pulling on Arthur's shirt like it's a damn lifesaver, "You're dead, Arthur." The last sentence comes out as a whimper and Arthur swallows thickly, nodding as he moves his hand to Merlin's forehead, touching it lightly.
"Jesus, Merlin," he mutters, feeling how scorching hot Merlin's skin feels underneath his fingers, before pulling them away. "Let's get you in the bath, okay?" Merlin nods in response and sits up, wrapping both arms around Arthur's neck like a child and Arthur thinks of all the times he's taken care of Merlin, his heart and gut twisting.
Wrapping his arms around Merlin, Arthur stands and pulls him up until he's vertical, never pulling his arms away. Merlin shakes in his hold and Arthur pulls him close, half-dragging him to the bathroom, before flipping the light on and sitting Merlin down on the toilet seat.
"Gonna get you in a cold bath okay, baby?" Arthur speaks quietly, moving to the bath to turn it on, putting the stopper over the drain. When he turns around, he notices that Merlin's shaking considerably less and he smiles softly at that, before moving to stand in front of his boyfriend again. "Gotta take your pyjamas off, okay?"
"Arthur —" Merlin starts, voice shaking worse than his body.
"Shh, I know — it hurts, but I'm going to make it better." Arthur pulls Merlin up into a standing position and pushes his pyjama bottoms off, feeling Merlin's arms wrap around his neck. His hot forehead presses against the crook of Arthur's neck and he swallows, nudging Merlin's bottoms down with his foot.
Merlin steps out of the fabric and Arthur eases him toward the bath, holding onto him until he's got both feet in the water. He steps back, watching Merlin slip down into the tub and he shuts the water off, kneeling on the floor, moving the water with his hand.
He watches Merlin carefully, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "How's that feel?"
"Better," Melrin whispers, leaning his head back against the shower tiles, eyes fluttering shut. A few tears slide down his cheeks and Arthur lifts his free hand, brushing them away with the pad of his thumb. "Thank you, Arthur."
Snorting softly, Arthur shakes his head and mumbles, "S'what boyfriends are for, right?" Merlin smiles softly at that and turns his head to the side, blinking his red and tear-rimmed eyes open, settling them on Arthur's face.
"You're so pretty."
"And you're delusional," Arthur replies quickly, smirking at Merlin, "but thanks. You are too, y'know." He moves his hand down the curve of Merlin's jaw again, cupping it, feeling him shake his head slowly. Rolling his eyes, Arthur leans in and kisses Merlin's forehead, nodding as he whispers against his skin, "You are."
"M'not," Merlin says in that petulant child voice, his eyes shutting as he takes a deep breath, "I saw Morgana again; I — I thought about all those things that happened in Camlann, Arthur. The army, Mordred, the moment when you left me."
"Shh, baby — it's all over now. None of that will happen again, okay? This right here?" Arthur thumbs across Merlin's cheek slowly, smiling before continuing, "This is the present — this will last forever, you got me?"
Nodding his head, Merlin sighs and gently pushes Arthur's hand away before submerging himself in the water as much as he can. He knees are bent awkwardly, but Merlin manages to get his head under the water, holding his breath until he comes back up, exhaling sharply. When he straightens up, Merlin pushes his hair back and blinks his eyes open, drops of water sliding off the ends of his eyelashes.
Arthur smiles at Merlin and sits back on his heels. "Ready to get out and get dry?"
"I guess so," Merlin mutters before standing up, sloshing the water and getting Arthur wet, which causes them both to laugh; Arthur doesn't complain about the water when he hears Merlin laugh. "Sorry."
"Don't worry, it's cool. I need to change anyway — now I have more of an excuse to do so." Arthur winks at Merlin and gets to his feet, turning to grab a towel, handing it to Melrin when he turns back around, watching his lover wrap it around his waist.
They walk into the room and Arthur moves to Merlin's bag, dropping to his knees to search through it; he grabs a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, before standing. Turning on his heels, Arthur watches Merlin dry off, the towel moving over his pale skin slowly, making goosebumps break out on Arthur's skin.
He steps forward, tossing the clothes onto his bed.. "There you go."
"Thanks," Merlin smiles at Arthur and runs the towel over his hair, messing it up a bit before pulling it away, dropping the towel to the floor. He grabs the boxers and slips them on quickly, snapping the waistband against his hips before grabbing the t-shirt. Slipping it over his head, he looks over at Arthur and smiles, pulling the fabric down until it's snug on his torso.
Arthur smiles back and walks over to the bed, sitting down and leaning against the headboard, watching Merlin quietly. Standing at the end of the bed, Merlin chews on his lower lip, running a hand through his wet hair, looking at Arthur.
And Arthur tries not to giggle at how childish Merlin looks right now (frankly, he thinks it's adorable) and he nods his head, patting the bed beside him. He slips down further onto the bed, pulling the sheet over his body.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Merlin moves to the other side of the bed and climbs onto it, laying as close to Arthur as possible. Arthur smiles and moves his arm around Merlin's shoulder, a hand finding his brother's, their fingers interlocking.
"Now go to sleep, baby." Arthur mutters the words and turns his head, kissing the top of Merlin's, laughing against his damp hair, "And you're gonna wake up with major bedhead in the morning, from going to sleep with soaking wet hair."
Laughing, Merlin moves his head to Arthur's chest and grumbles, "Not gonna do that if I lay my head here all night." Arthur thinks about that for a second, laughs, and nods his head slowly, running his fingers along Merlin's bicep, humming Hey Jude under his breath.
"I'm still not — not okay, but you're making it better." The words come out of no where and Arthur stops humming, opening his eyes to stare at the wall beside them. He swallows thickly, thumbing across the back of Merlin's hand slowly, nodding his head as he exhales slowly through his mouth.
"That's okay," he lies, trying to make it sound as convincing as possible before pulling away, watching as Merlin sits up, pouting slightly. And Arthur smiles, cupping Merlin's chin before pulling him close, kissing his lips softly. There's barely anything there but Arthur feels Merlin shudder and smiles, moving both hands to either of his hips, holding on. "But you'll be okay eventually," Arthur whispers against Merlin's lips, wetting his own and licking his lover's at the same time.
Merlin nods his head, lets his eyes flutter shut, and breathes softly against Arthur's lips, taking his breath into his own lungs. They sit like that for a moment, not moving, not saying anything — just breathing each other in. It's almost enough to make Merlin forget about the nightmares - to forget about Morgana - and he does, for a moment, before Mordred appears behind his eyelids again.
This time, Merlin sees himself kissing Mordred instead of Arthur and he whimpers, snapping his eyes open, holding onto Arthur tightly. And Arthur doesn't even have to ask what's going on; he wraps both arms around Merlin and lays back with him in his arms, head resting on his shoulder.
"Shh, baby; don't think about him, okay? Focus on my voice and what I'm saying, can you do that for me?" Merlin nods, whimpering against Arthur's neck. "Good, you're doing great, Merlin. He can't hurt you, did you know that?" Again, Merlin nods his head but only once, before shaking it. "Well, he can't hurt me — not when I've got you, okay? Not when you're in my arms, safe and sound, Mordred can't even touch me; he's not here, Merlin — he's dead back where he belongs…"
Arthur keeps talking, rambling insistently, talking nonsense until Merlin stops shaking, until his whimpering stops and his breath falls softly against Arthur's neck. When Merlin calms down, Arthur whispers against the top of his head, saying things like 'I love you,' and 'I'll never let him hurt you again,' softly, his words seeming to calm his boyfriend down even more.
After half an hour, Merlin pulls away and cups either side of Arthur's face before kissing him fiercely, but not pushing it into anything more. The kiss throws him off but Arthur returns it, lifting a hand to thread in Merlin's hair, feeling water slide down his fingers and hand, moving down his wrist.
When they ease away, Merlin wets his lips and leans his forehead against Arthur's, the tips of their nose touching. He breathes softly, feeling Arthur soft cheek underneath his hands, grazing his palms over it slowly, committing the feeling to memory.
Arthur shudders when Merlin rubs his jaw and cheek, his breath falling heavy against Merlin's lips, his eyes clenched shut. He moves his own hands to Merlin's back and moves both of them up and down his spine, feeling the soft fabric of his t-shirt slide against his fingertips.
"I love you," Merlin whispers after a prolonged silence and Arthur smiles.
"I love you too," he mutters back, kissing Merlin softly before laying him on his side, keeping him close. Merlin laughs softly and moves a hand to the back of Arthur's head, his fingertips carding through the hair that rests at the base of his skull, sighing happily.
Breathing slowly, Merlin closes his eyes and brushes his nose against Arthur's, whispering, "Night Arthur."
Arthur smiles and watches Merlin carefully, not intending on going to sleep any time soon. He listens to Merlin's breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall against his own, and tries not to laugh when Merlin starts to snore lightly.
"Goodnight, baby," he whispers, kissing Merlin's lips lightly, before laying his head back on the pillow, watching Merlin the entire night, holding him close whenever he whimpers or show signs of having another nightmare.