That Damn Chimpanzee
Okay, so this is my first ever attempt writing a… (Somewhat) humorous fic. I have to warn ya'll though; I suck at humor and I'm not even sure this counts as being funny. It's just something I wrote because I felt like annoying one of my favorite characters in OP :D So, I hope you all enjoy (or not) reading this short fiction! ^^ EDIT: Made a very small change. Thanks to AllHerosWearHats for pointing out a small unclear point in the story ^^
DISCLAIMER: I do not own One Piece nor do I make any profit writing fan fictions; I only do it for fun and to improve my writing skills. (Do people even bother reading these?) O.o
WARNINGS: Beware a grumpy Zoro! I also rated this fiction T due to some of the language in the fiction! So yup! I think that's about it! ^^ Now on with the story!
Damn witch, damn Dart-Brow, and damn monkey. Why did everyone always have to come along and mess up his day? All he had wanted was to get some shut eye, just for a moment, and then that money-loving thief had to come along and send him off into the jungle to search for some "island treasure." Of course, he had flat out ignored her until the stupid love cook annoyed the shit out of him about "how dare he ignore his lovely Nami-swan." So, after quite some convincing, Zoro finally complied, thinking that it was worth getting away from those two and their annoying voices. They were giving him a head-ache and besides, everyone else was off of the ship looking for food. So Zoro went striding into the jungle only to get himself lost on the way… But he would never admit that aloud. Oh no, not Zoro, not the great Pirate Hunter Zoro. He would never get lost! Annoyed enough as he was, anyone would have been smart enough to stay away from the grumpy Swordsman. So when Zoro had found himself wondering aimlessly about the jungle, of coarse one would never expect for a young chimpanzee to dare to follow after the Santōryū with the dangerous aura that he was emitting. That annoying little… The sly little bastard just wouldn't leave him alone! Apparently, it had decided that Zoro would be its new play thing for the day.
After a while of wondering around and finding nothing of any sort of treasure, Zoro had decided that it was time for a nap; this time without any annoying greedy thief or love cook to interrupt his well-deserved rest. He wasn't going to put too much effort into looking for this treasure. He didn't even believe that there was a treasure on this island; that map had been old and someone else would have most likely already come to claim the prize that probably once rested on this deserted island.
So when the green-haired Swordsman had closed his eyes, he was able to ignore the constant pebbles being thrown at his head for only a short amount of time. He was not in a very patient mood today. After a few more pebbles and weird monkey sounds that sounded suspiciously like laughter, a tick began to take form on Zoro's forehead. He was going to murder that thing. Cracking an eye open, he gave a death-glare to the chimpanzee and practically dared it to continue. The little guy swung his arms and immediately darted higher up into the safety of a tree and grabbed the nearest banana. It sat just above Zoro's head and contently began to peel his new snack.
Thinking that he had successfully gotten rid of the nuisance, Zoro gave a grunt and shut his eye again, intending to get on with his nap. But of course, doesn't the unexpected always happen when one doesn't expect it? But I suppose that is why it is called the unexpected. SPLAT! The half eaten banana dropped onto Zoro's head and left a slimy trail down his face. Why that little…! Zoro had had enough of this! Taking out one of his swords swiftly and aiming a cut straight at the poor, unsuspecting monkey, Zoro was going to make sure that the annoying little thing would live the rest of his life with a good scar on him that would remind him not to interrupt the scary Swordsman's nap ever again! But the chimpanzee merrily only dodged the cut and made more loud, annoying sounds. This time Zoro was positive that the monkey was laughing at him… or was he just being paranoid? Glaring, he was about to send another cut towards the swinging monkey when he stopped and decided better. He wasn't going to let some chimpanzee get to him! The thing wasn't even worth his time. So, promptly making the decision to ignore the still seemingly smirking creature, Zoro decided that searching for the nameless treasure was better than being around the monkey that had a… pineapple? Where the hell did that come from? Deciding to ignore that thought, Zoro began strolling in a random direction. And after a while of more aimlessly walking about, he assumed that he had shaken off the annoying chimpanzee from earlier.
The sun was slowly beginning to set, tinting the sky with glorious colors of orange, pink, and light purple. For most, it would be called a breath-taking experience seeing the red sun dipping slowly downwards and painting the clouds with its last rays, but Zoro was already becoming more moody. Nami was going to kill him if he came back empty-handed… Not that he was scared of her or anything of the sort. Roronoa Zoro was never scared. But he didn't want to go back to the ship and have to deal with a screaming navigator and a swooning Curly-Browed Idiot. He had already had an annoying chimpanzee on his case and still hadn't been able to get a proper, midday nap! Thinking on these things and wearing an annoyed look on his face, Zoro was not quite looking out for where he was going… and almost tripped; yes, almost, for the future best Swordsman in the world did not trip while brooding; that was an unacceptable excuse for doing something as trivial as tripping. But it was what the Swordsman tripped over; excuse me, almost tripped over, that caught his attention. Right before him lay a rock in the shape of an "X" in the middle of the jungle. It looked like someone had carved it quickly and had been in a hurry. It was a tall X-like rock, "tall" being only around four inches in height. Mostly out of instinct, Zoro began digging underneath the X-shaped rock. He didn't have to dig very deep before he hit something and pulled out a small grey, rusted box. There was no lock on it as one might usually expect on a treasure chest, as that was what Zoro assumed it was supposed to be, but it opened by pulling on its handle and, without much difficulty, Zoro managed to get it open. What was inside was a single, large diamond sparkling in all its glory in the last rays of the steadily sinking sun.
Smirking and satisfied that this would keep both Nami and Sanji off of his back for a while, at least for tonight, he took out the diamond and tossed the box back where it had come from. And soon, Zoro, with about the same sense of direction as a rock, began wondering around again without fully knowing in which direction he was going. The sticky banana remains still on his face weren't helping his mood get much better though. All he wanted now was to get back to the ship before the sun had completely disappeared behind the horizon. If he could just find his way… and he ended up at what looked like a very big hole. It wasn't too deep but deep enough for most people to get stuck in there and not be able to come out again unless somebody pulled them out.
Quite suddenly, out of nowhere and catching Zoro by surprise, a pineapple flew straight at his head and knocked him into the now occupied hole. But while falling, he had lost the diamond and it fell just on the edge of the hole. Don't tell me…! Glaring up at the entrance to the hole, he saw that annoying chimpanzee from earlier doing a weird dance, diamond in one hand, and a banana in the other. Zoro was now positive the little monkey was not only laughing at him, it was mocking him! The nerve! I swear I'll silence that thing forever!
SPLAT! More banana "slime" hit Zoro's head. Growling and using his swords to make his way back out of the hole, he was intent on murdering the offending animal. But when he came back out, the sly little bastard had already gone, taking the precious diamond with him as well, and was nowhere to be found.
When the sun had already set behind the horizon, Zoro had finally found his way back to the ship and was greeted by an angry navigator,
"You're late! Did you get yourself lost again?!!?" Zoro only glared. It was all he could do to keep himself from completely going off on her.
"And you didn't even bring back the treasure! Luffy and Robin even went out looking for you too! Now they're not back yet and we aren't able to set sail because you got lost!"
"Shut up! There was this monkey and –"WHACK!
"DON'T MAKE STUFF UP!" And with that, the orange-haired thief stalked back to wherever she had come from in the first place. Soon afterwards, Zoro had to deal with an angry cook but he had needed the fight; he had quite been itching for one. By the end of it, the Swordsman was finally able to have his nap, even if it was a little later than usual. And just as he was drifting off into a fitful sleep, he swore he heard the cackling of a monkey nearby… Damn chimpanzee.
So… what did you guys think of it?? :D Good? Bad? Loved it? Hated it? Any reviews are greatly appreciated, instructive criticism will be used to help me with future writings, and flames will be used to make a lovely campfire! ^^ If you care to let me know what you thought of it, hit the review button! :D And thanks again for those of you who took the time to read this! ^^