Rating: K+
Character: Daniel Jackson, reference to other team members
Authors Note: This was whacked off in 20mins after I watched Prototype for the first time. So it's very rough still but at the same time, when do any of us have nice, polished thought processes? I was struck by how Daniel was walking the line throughout the episode, how much anger and hatred he was clamping down on. So, I tried to get into his head.
Disclaimer: The only parts of any SG1 fan fiction I write that I own are any characters/planets/critters that have never appeared previously in the canon. I do not own anything else...although sometimes I wouldn't mind having a Daniel Jackson-type fella around...sigh
After The Bullets Fly
I knew exactly what I was doing. When I left the control room, I knew what my next actions would be and how they would unfold.
He had been right. When he said that one of us would kill and one of us would die, he had been right. Of course, he hadn't meant it the way I took it…none of them ever do…but he was right.
From the first moment I saw that log, something inside me changed. I felt the cold darkness swoop in, clutching at me with claws of frozen steel. I felt a part of me shift, sharpen, clarify. It was like a puzzle I had been working on for too long had suddenly become clear.
I had intended to talk to him. Seeing him sitting there, he looked like any other young man going through a tough time. But as soon as he spoke, starting spouting those lies, I snapped. I knew what he was. I knew exactly what he was. No one else could understand it. No one else had sat and laughed and joked and chatted with that foul being like I had. No one else had seen him pick and prod at the woman who just wanted to help people, seen the way he sneered at her, mocked her for her goodness. I had. I was the one who ranted and railed on her behalf. It was I who followed her example of doing good for others too well and ended up thrown out on my naked ass, no memories, no identity, no idea of what it was I was supposed to be doing.
That was his doing. If not for him so much would have been better. And Abydos…the less I think of Abydos the better. I cannot bear to think of my home anymore – it was the place I loved, the place I chose but I was too changed to return to it – not without her to wash away the pain in my soul. But then, I have experienced too much since for even Sha're to absolve me.
Although they didn't show it, I know Sam and Teal'c were surprised when I said that Khalek had to be killed. It may have only been a second but I know it was there. Cam's eyes flicked over my face, checking to see if I was serious. I could feel the sudden tension next to me as Teal'c absorbed what I had said. Sam…well, she just avoided looking at me. Didn't expect the advocate of death to be me, the usual advocate for life. Well…not this time. Not with him.
I left the control room with only one thought in my mind, no real plan of action. I barely noticed Mitchell's expression, caught the flash of fear that he hadn't done anything to stop the fiend in our midst, but the relief that must have followed I missed. I was too busy meeting gaze with him, with Khalek. Yes, I spared Mitchell a glance, just to acknowledge his comment, the same comment I know I would have gotten from Jack.
'Nice shot'
It was wasn't it. That's what happens when a mild mannered archaeologist/linguist spends too much time with the military. He learns how to put a bullet where it'll do the most damage. Especially when his ex-Special Ops friend takes him down the range a few times. Must remember to tell Jack about my latest proficiency score.
Oh…I knew exactly what I was doing. My mind was clear. No haze of fury. No confusion over right or wrong. Just one thought – he has to die. I hadn't planned it as such. I just knew that if he was distracted by Cameron then he would forget about me. No one should ever forget about me, not any more.
I aimed. Of course I did. With him watching his left I had enough time to make sure I wouldn't miss. His expression when he realised that he had been right, in that first moment after he realised he was bleeding – he was shocked. He really thought I would let him get away, let him become like his 'father'. Never.
Emptying the clip was just sensible. I'd had moments like that with Jack and Teal'c and Sam before, but Mitchell and I just acted. It was the only thing to do – put two clips of bullets in him and make him go down hard. Just before he fell he glanced down at his wounds and smiled, his eyes flickering to me. I know he was saluting me. He was mocking me too. Even as he died, he still mocked me.
I don't regret it. Oh, I'm sorry that we found him. I wish we had been able to get something from this of help against the Ori – I told Woolsey as such. He was an idiot to ignore me. But then, after all these years, when have they ever listened? Despite everything I've seen and done, they still think they know better. Amateurs. They have no idea what we face every day and yet they think they can tell us how to deal with it – wow. I'm getting a grouchy as Jack over these things.
No, I don't regret killing Khalek. He had to die. There was no other option. I had to do it. Because although he and I are two different sides, we were the same coin. He understood me and I understood him. That's what he meant when he said that it would be us in the end. One of us would die. One of us would kill. But it would be between us. And it was. Even though Mitchell was there, it was still between Khalek and me.
Anubis/Khalek was right. And now I have something else to hate him for. It almost makes me wish I could kill him again.