Kathryn Janeway sat quietly on a large stone boulder staring out at the night of stars dotted the horizon and she stared at them, hoping to see a gentle streak across the sky of her starship in orbit. After several days on their new home, she was desperately longing for the old one.
The Kazon had abandoned them on the fourth planet in the Hanon system nearly two weeks ago. Left with nothing but the clothes on their backs, she was thankful they were even still alive. Some of them weren't, she frowned.
They had lost four crewmembers already. Hogan had just been the first, taken by a cave creature they had yet to give a name. Lewis and York fell to their deaths while trying to secure eggs from a nest they found on the edge of a cliff. Yolanda James had fallen down a slope with Neelix's team searching for food. She had broken her leg in two places and had bled out within a few days. She shuddered at the memory.
Their bad luck continued. Only a few days after deciding on a campsite, a volcanic eruption sent them scrambling for cover from lava running down the hill side. The lava had one positive benefit though, she had to admit. Chakotay saving the young alien girl had established them as allies on this god forsaken planet. The medicine man had been so grateful for her rescue, he immediately motioned for Janeway and her flock to join them as they moved away from the danger.
They still had only basic communication with the aliens. They didn't appear to speak much of a language that they could learn. Mainly gestures and a few repeated words. It was enough. They needed all the help they could get here. The medicine man had led them to higher ground and together they all were safer.
"You know, Captain Janeway said that we shouldn't wander off alone. Does she know you are out here?"
Chakotay's voice came through her thoughts. He slid down on the rock beside her. She smiled just a little at his joke.
"She's here. Just sleeping I think," she replied. "I'm trying to find Voyager. I'm praying Tom got through."
There was no hesitation in his voice. "He did."
She turned sharply toward him. He was very close, her face only a few inches from his. She shivered in the darkness. He took her shiver as one of cold and tucked his arm around her shoulders.
"Thank you," she whispered, tucking her head against his shoulder.
"Anytime. I'm told my shoulder is fairly comfortable."
"It's not that. I'm so busy reassuring them, I guess I needed someone to reassure me."
He was quiet and thoughtful for a moment. This woman had led them across the lightyears without a moment of fear. It was easy to forget sometimes she was still just a woman. She had the same fears and doubts everyone else had. But the crew, himself included, always looked to her in times of uncertainty to guide them. To always know the correct route and to fearlessly lead them into victory. But at what price did that confidence come? Who helped her when she was afraid?
"Do you remember when we met?" he asked suddenly.
She looked up at him with a slightly cross expression.
"And you think I could forget?" she snorted. He plowed on.
"I was shocked the way you stood up to me. I thought I could overpower you in a moment. Take Voyager if I had to. But that moment you stood your ground, changed everything. You took a stand and stared me in the eye. You dared me to keep the challenge. And I backed down. Do you know why?"
She sniffed a little and shook her head, suddenly losing her voice.
"Because I realized how powerful you are. Not your ship. Not your crew, but you. You demanded loyalty and I was already willing to give it. You treated my crew with the utmost respect. They gave you their word and you took it at face value. Do you remember that? Handing Mike Ayala a phaser rifle when we all beamed back to the array the second time?"
"Sort of. I was operating on a limited frame of mind at the moment. I felt like the world was falling apart," she admitted.
"It was. You may not clearly remember that moment, but Mike does. He was first in line to back me when I told the Maquis we should join your crew. He told them what you did for him. You took his word that he would have your back and handed him a weapon. He knows that's not done lightly. You commanded respect faster than any other person in Starfleet that I have ever met."
She lifted suddenly teary eyes to his face. His dear face, covered in the grime of this planet, trying to reassure her and push her back onto the command pedestal that she had started to slip from.
"You trusted me that early? They all did?"
He nodded.
"Of course. You don't realize how much we had learned to distrust. Any situation was always wrestling for the upper hand. Securing the best weapons, the fastest ships, anything to keep the top position. With you, they never had to do that. You told them you trusted them and they didn't doubt it. They knew you would do whatever you could to keep them safe. That's all we ever asked for."
His words calmed and centered her again. That was her goal. To always keep them safe. She couldn't look at this situation as a failure. She had to keep on the positive side. They were alive. They were together. And there was still a chance that Tom Paris would come back and save them all. Her eyes suddenly locked on his, clear of the tears that had clouded them moments before.
"Speaking of keeping you safe, what hell were you thinking jumping over that lava flow? Are you out of your mind?" she said, while moving away and poking him in the chest.
He laughed and batted her hand away.
"Well I can't claim to always make the best decisions, like my Captain does, but it did work to our favor in more ways than one." He gestured behind them to their shared camp. "Look where we are? Warm and safe."
"Thanks to you," she replied.
"Thanks to us. I may have gotten the girl off the rock island, but you connected with their leader. We both made this possible. Together."
"Together," she whispered as she shivered again in the cold. "I think it's time to head back. The others will be worried about us."
He stood and grabbed her hand to pull her to her feet. They both dusted off their clothes and started walking toward the glow of their collective camp. It certainly wasn't perfect, but he had convinced her to drop her guard, if only for a moment. She needed to take time to decompress as a person. And he needed to take more time to make sure she did it. He made a vow to himself to do what he could to make sure she could still be a person under all that command armor. It would just take a little work. Together.
He smiled at her in the darkness."Together."