This came from an observation I have made about the Destiel fan fiction archive: I have seen very few, if any, that are solely from Castiel's viewpoint.

So, I thought to myself, 'since I accidentally started shipping Destiel (thanks to Tumblr), and I think Cas should get a little more page-time, I shall write a Destiel fic.'

(Now, I have only seen season four and five, and gag reels and funny moments and what not, so bear with my lack of knowledge here, 'kay?) It will most likely be the only one I ever write, just FYI (and kudos to you if you read 'just FYI' in Misha Collins' voice).

But here ya go, some lovely Dean/Cas goodness.

Parting is all we know of heaven,

And all we need of hell.

- 'My life's closed twice', Emily Dickinson

As a general rule, Castiel didn't like goodbyes. He never had, and he was pretty sure he never would. It wasn't that he didn't want to waste time or deal with potential emotions that he honestly had no clue how to deal with. He just never liked the sense of parting from anyone he had grown close to.

At first, it was just his brothers and Father, and really, he didn't have any real reason to have to say goodbye. And he didn't have to deal with any unexpected emotion in either himself or them.

And then, suddenly, Dean Winchester arrived into his life and completely messed it all up. The man who was destined to become Michael's vessel, and his younger sibling Sam, Lucifer's destined vessel, the two of them had completely ruined any semblance of normality in Cas' life.

When Castiel raised Dean from Hell, he hadn't expected any of the events that followed. Well, he had pretty much anticipated Dean and Bobby's reaction to his appearance, but he was still fairly surprised at how much they had prepared for an attack of any kind but an angel's. It had been impressive, to say the least, but completely useless. He still remembered the look on Dean's face when he tried stabbing Cas with the demon knife and nothing had happened; a look he had learned in the years since to be Dean's 'shit we're screwed' face.

In Dean's words, of course, not Castiel's.

Something else he remembered was when he first realised that Dean looked at and treated him like he was an ally, a friend, not his enemy.

The most important thing he remembered was, in the Green Room, when Dean finally trusted him, even as he had pinned him against the wall and pulled out Ruby's knife, Dean had looked at Castiel in the eyes, and nodded, probably expecting to die at the time but deciding to trust Cas' judgement anyway. And that had meant a lot to Castiel, a lot more than Dean probably realised.

Memories like those, Castiel treasured. Bright, important moments in his existence since he met Dean. He should have realised, really, then, that something wasn't quite normal, especially when the other angels said he'd grown too attached to Dean.

But then, Cas had never fully understood human emotion, not even when he became human enough to feel it himself.

The only thing that didn't change much after meeting Dean was his dislike of parting, and even then the only change was that it just got harder. After what happened with Jimmy and his family, and then getting to know the Winchesters better... even thinking of saying goodbye became near impossible.

That was why he always left without a word - it was easier to believe he would come back, that he would be wanted back, if he hasn't said that final-sounding phrase. To Castiel, this seemed perfectly reasonable and easy to understand, not meriting any explanation. Apparently, Dean disagreed.

"Cas, could you not just vanish like that?" he snapped one day, when Castiel had left and reappeared again in his usual way. Cas tilted his head just slightly, frowning.

"Hello Dean."

"Don't 'hello Dean' me, dude," Dean replied, obviously annoyed by something. "What's up with the sudden leaving without a word all the time, huh?"

Castiel's frown deepened. "My apologies, I didn't realise my coming and going irritated you so much."

Dean blew out a sigh, giving the angel a look that clearly meant Cas wasn't getting it. "Look, Cas, if you don't wanna stay, then fine, but a little warning would be nice."

"It is not that I don't want to stay," Castiel answered, wondering if he had imagined the hurt in Dean's eyes and tone as he had spoken. Judging by the relief he saw after, no he hadn't. How strange. Cas had never noticed that before. It was gone as quickly as it had flashed by, covered by Dean's usual gruffness and irritation.

"Then what is it?"

Cas shifted on place, somewhat uncomfortable. Embarrassed, he thought, unfamiliar with this particular emotion, but having seen it in play with both Winchester's multiple times. "It's... not of import."

Dean snorted a laugh, and his face crinkled up into a smile that Castiel wished he saw more often. "Right, whenever you say that, it usually is. So spill."

"I haven't spilt anything."

"It's an expression, Cas."

"Oh." Castiel thought that over for a moment. A very odd choice of phrase. He assumed it meant 'tell me', which he didn't particularly want to do. "It doesn't matter."

"Cas, he will keep bugging you till you tell him," Sam interjected idly from the other side of the motel room, where he was researching and looking for a new hunt. He glanced up and shrugged at Cas. "I'd just tell him.

Castiel sighed at the determined set of Dean's jaw. "I'd rather not."

"Well I'd rather you did." Dean refused to budge on the subject, giving Castiel his best disapproving glare. As a testament to how good Dean was at that, Cas actually felt uncomfortable under his gaze. He didn't look away, however, and it quickly turned into one of their staring matches; blue versus green, unwavering determination - 'unstoppable force against an immovable object' as Sam had described the two of them on multiple occasions such as this. Castiel could understand why. Dean refused to back down, and Cas started to get a strange sensation somewhere on his lower stomach the longer he stared into Dean's eyes that he wasn't sure he was comfortable with, but he didn't dislike either.

Castiel sighed finally, after about ten minutes of silence and Sam's muttered comments to 'get a room', and said, "I don't like saying goodbye."

Dean blinked at him, apparently surprised by this answer. "You don't like saying goodbye," he repeated, raising an eyebrow slowly.

"That is what I said."

"What, so you just leave without saying it, 'cause you don't like it?" Dean huffed a laugh when Cas nodded. "There are better ways of avoiding that you know."

"There are?" Castiel queried, unable to help it when his eyes drifted toward Dean's mouth as the man smiled. He definitely liked it when Dean smiled, it made him look far less world-weary and burdened.

"Yeah, of course. Say something like, I don't know, 'see you later', or 'be right back', or - "

"'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it'?" Castiel said flatly, expressionless, good mood gone in an instant, and both Dean and Sam stared at him. Sam was the first to understand, his expression sympathetic.

"It reminds you too much of Jimmy."

Castiel inclined his head toward Sam. "That is part of it."

"And... you don't like not knowing if you'll come back." Dean finished slowly, forehead creased.

"The finality of the word is... unpleasant." Castiel confirmed, averting his gaze to the floor, but he could still see Sam looking at him steadily.

"Yeah, I get that," Sam said quietly, glancing at Dean. Castiel nodded slightly, understanding what Sam meant. Dean was frowning to himself, looking past Cas at the wall.

"Cas... not that I don't understand what you mean - 'cause I do, trust me - but... well, say you left, you didn't say goodbye, you came back and one or both of us was dead." Dean looked at Castiel, meeting his eyes seriously. "Wouldn't you regret never having said it then? Because if I left either you or Sammy without saying it, and you were gone when I came back... I'd regret that for the rest of my life. Or if I ended up back in Hell and I never said goodbye... that would be worse than the torture to me."

It was Dean's turn to be stared at now, both Castiel and Sam shocked at this rare admittance of emotion. Dean shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "I'm just sayin'. But, hey, each to their own, right?"

"I understand," said Castiel with a slight nod. "I can see why that would be regrettable. My apologies."

"Don't apologise for that," Dean said, frustrated now. "S'not the kind of thing you need to apologise for. Just, maybe think about the fact that some people don't like other people leaving without saying it, okay?"

Castiel looked at Dean for a long moment, but Dean avoided his eyes. Sam was looking between the two of them, his expression one of some confusion and definite discomfort. He broke the silence by closing the lid on his laptop just a bit too forcefully, jerking both Dean and Cas out of their respective silences. "Well, I'm hungry. Dean, what do you want to eat?"

"I'll go," Dean said, just a second too quickly and Castiel frowned. Dean resolutely did not look at him and moved toward the door. "Rabbit food, Sammy?"

"It's healthy," Sam retorted with the air of a practised argument that Cas knew by now he wasn't going to win. "Not that you'd know anything about that."

Dean just waved his hand dismissively and as he opened the motel room door, his eyes shot to Castiel for a brief moment and he said, "Alright, see you when I get back."

Cas was positive Dean was making a point there. The door shut and the engine of the Impala faded away, leaving Sam and Cas in a very awkward silence. Sam, opened up his laptop again and raised his eyebrows at Castiel. "You just gonna stand there?"

"Yes."

"What, no Heavenly duties?" Sam meant it as a joke, but Cas shook his head gravely.

"Nothing is happening, so I am not needed. But if you wish for me to leave-"

"No, no," Sam shook his head. "I just didn't want you to think you just had to stand there. Actually, while you're here, I could use your help with this case..."

The next half hour passed with Cas and Sam discussing various theories on how to catch and question the witch they were after. It kept Cas' thoughts occupied, but he still kept thinking about how odd Dean had acted before he left. He had gone on that train of thought again when Sam sighed and said, "Dude, you need to just talk to him."

"The witch?"

"Dean."

"Why? What about?"

Sam looked at Castiel disbelievingly and shook his head. " Look, I know Dean doesn't act like he has feelings, but he does. Pretty much everyone he ever cared about has left him at some point, and that's hurt him. He hides it well, but he hates it when you up and vanish like you do. Hell, not even I like it, it scares the crap out of me when you reappear out of nowhere, and we never know where you've gone or if you need help." Sam sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. "Dean cares about you, Cas, even though he wouldn't say it. And I know you care about him too, so, talk to him. Earlier, that was the closest he's ever come to admitting he worries about you. Momentous occasion, Cas, don't waste it."

Castiel stared at Sam, surprised and somewhat humbled by the younger Winchester's words. He had noticed, of course, that Dean very rarely spoke about feelings. He assumed that it made him uncomfortable, which is something he and Castiel had in common.

Still, Cas thought that maybe Sam had a point. It was nice to know that Dean cared about his well being, as he did for Dean's, but there was something in the way Sam had said that that sounded... Different.

"When you say Dean cares about me," Castiel said slowly, and Sam grinned.

"I'm not saying anything Cas," he shrugged, his tone and expression suggesting the complete opposite. Before Cas could push the point, the door of the motel room crashed open and a blinding flash of light filled the room. Then everything faded to black.

Castiel woke in a ring of holy fire. He stood and looked around, seeing Sam handcuffed to a pipe and unconscious. Cas felt an overwhelming urge to swear - the Winchesters were a bad influence, Cas decided upon realising this urge, but he found he didn't much mind.

What he did mind was the fact that he and Sam were trapped in the basement of what appeared to be some sort of factory, and he could see no means of escape.

"Cas?" Sam groaned, lifting his head and wincing. "Aw man, my head hurts. Cas? You okay?"

"I'm fine," Castiel answered, "are you? Apart from your head."

"My arm aches, but waking up in handcuffs does that," Sam said, laughing a bit, though it sounded forced. "What's going on?"

"I don't know."

"Ah. Great. I'm guessing Dean isn't here?"

"No."

"Well, at least we might have someone to save our asses." Sam sighed and leant his head back against the filthy wall. "I don't suppose you have any way of getting us out of here?"

"No," Cas said, getting more and more frustrated about the fact. He had checked his pockets while Sam was speaking, and his cellphone was gone, along with anything that could constitute as a weapon. He didn't even bother asking Sam if he had anything.

"Were you unconscious when we got here?"

"I was," Castiel said. Another thing that worried him. "I don't know how, but yes. I don't know how we were found either."

"Oh, trust me, it wasn't very hard." A new voice issued from the gloom on the other side of the basement. The owner of the voice stepped forward, smiling horribly. Sam swore, and Cas looked at him in confusion. Sam pulled a face.

"You know that witch I was telling you about?"

"Great." Cas replied sarcastically. Sam paused, looking vaguely surprised. Castiel ignored him and glared at the grinning man. "How did you find us?"

The witch laughed and sauntered forward, looking very pleased with himself. "I had help. But it basically consisted of looking for that car the other Winchester insists on driving. You really should invest in a less recognisable car if you don't want to be found."

"Dean wasn't there," Sam said, confused. The witch smirked.

"And it took a hell of a lot of waiting for that one to happen."

"What-"

"You two are bargaining chips," the witch said. He threw a smug look at Castiel. "You were difficult to catch, but not impossible. For an angel, you're surprisingly docile too." He looked back at Sam. "With his brother and angel boyfriend as insurance, he won't kill me. Simple."

Sam gave the witch his best bitch face. "Dean isn't stupid. He wouldn't walk into a trap like this."

Almost perfectly on cue, Dean burst into the room, gun cocked and black rage in his eyes. Sam groaned and Cas rolled his eyes.

"You were saying, Sam?" Castiel muttered, but it was without malice. He was genuinely glad to see Dean.

"Sammy, Cas, you okay?" Dean asked, looking at the witch angrily. He lowered his gun, obviously realising that shooting the witch right then could be a very bad idea.

"We're fine, Dean," Cas replied, and Dean shot him a glance filled with relief.

"Dean Winchester," the witch smirked, looking perfectly confident. "How nice to have a face to go with a name."

"What do you want douchebag?" Dean asked flatly, not in the mood for pleasantries. The witch held up his hands in mock offence.

"Well, so much for being nice."

"Yeah, I'm not really in the mood for that."

"I can see that," the witch said, amused, but Castiel could see a hint of fear in his eyes. "Straight to business than. I want, firstly, you to slide that gun over to me."

"Why don't I just shoot you?" Dean countered, raising the gun again and pulling back the hammer. The witch's smirk widened and he raised a hand, twisting it a bit. Sam doubled over with a choked groan of pain, face contorted in agony. Cas looked down to see the ring of holy fire steadily getting smaller and smaller. Dean's eyes flicked between his brother and Castiel in alarm and he raised his hands in surrender. "Okay! Okay, stop!"

The witch lowered his hand, grinning triumphantly as Dean threw the gun across the floor. Sam spat blood at the ground and glared. Cas breathed a silent sigh of relief when the holy fire stopped closing in.

"Secondly," the witch said, picking up the gun and stowing in the back of his jeans. "Secondly, I want protection."

All three of them looked at the witch incredulously.

"Protection." Dean repeated, giving the witch an odd look. "The fuck? What for?"

The witch looked vaguely uncomfortable now. "I... may have made a deal with a demon that I couldn't uphold."

"What kind of deal?"

"It doesn't matter," the witch snapped, eyes flashing dangerously. "I need protection, anything you can give me."

Dean exchanged looks with Sam and Cas. "You mean you can't hide yourself from demons? What kind of lame ass witch are you?"

"You try hiding from Crowley!" the witch yelled, losing his patience. Dean's eyebrows raised and he nodded, a small smirk making it's way to his lips.

"Ah. Point."

"But," Sam interrupted, making a face and spitting out a little more blood before continuing, "what the hell did you do to get in shit with Crowley?"

The witch's jaw ticked and he stayed silent. Dean snorted a laugh, which earned him a sharp glare.

"What kind of protection do you require?" Castiel asked after a moment, staring at Dean until their eyes met. Cas tilted his head slightly, eyes flicking from the witch to the holy fire, then to Sam and back to Dean with a meaningful look before looking at the witch again. Free Sam, get rid of the holy fire, I'll distract him. Dean nodded just slightly and took a step to the side, toward Sam, looking for all intensive purposes as if it had been an absent motion. The witch, who now had his eyes fixed on Castiel, didn't notice.

"I need to be hidden from demons," he said, only slightly more calm than before. "And angels too, preferably."

"Do you not think you could have just asked?" Castiel said, keeping the witch's attention as Dean slowly made his way over to Sam. The witch frowned, opening and closing his mouth a few times, wrong footed and unsure of how to reply. Cas took a small step forward when it looked like the witch was about to look away, keeping his attention as best he could. "Perhaps if you had come to us without any violence or harm intended, we could have helped you and all of this could be avoided?"

"I, uh," the witch looked down at this feet, brow furrowed. Castiel noticed for the first time how young the witch was. Younger than Sam, though not by much. It was saddening, really, how easily the innocent could be corrupted, Cas thought. The witch's eyes suddenly snapped to Dean, who was now crouched next to Sam. "What are you doing?"

"Checking my brother is alright, asswipe," Dean snapped back, narrowing his eyes ans shifting just slightly to cover the fact he was actually picking the lock of the handcuffs. Dean sneered. "In case you forgot, you just hurt him, and I'd like to make sure there's no lasting damage before I agree to do anything for your cowardly ass."

Castiel allowed himself a small smile at the blatant shock Dean's words had produced on the witch's face. It was plainer than ever, now, that despite the success he'd had in capturing Sam and Cas, the witch had no real idea of what he was doing. Cas wiped the smile from his face when the witch shot a look at him. "I can hide you from angels and from demons, if you promise to release both Sam and I, and make sure you stop making deals with demons."

"I-really?" the witch looked surprised. He'd obviously expected more of a fight. Cas nodded once, seeing out of the corner of his eye that Dean had managed to unlock the handcuffs.

"Come here," Castiel commanded, raising a hand slightly. He almost smirked as the witch stepped closer willingly, apparently oblivious to the fact that Sam was now free and that both Winchesters were up and glaring at the witch's back. The witch took another step forward, now within arm's reach, and Dean sprang forward, tackling him to the ground as Sam rushed forward and smothered the holy fire with his jacket, allowing Cas to step out of the ring. The witch was yelling and trying to free himself when he realised that All three of them were free and that Dean had gotten his gun back. He stopped struggling and stared.

"Shit."

"I still think we should've ganked the guy," Dean grumbled as they drove back to the motel. He'd point blank refused the suggestion of using a different car, insisting that the Impala would 'suffer in captivity'.

"Binding his power and wiping his memory was more than sufficient," Castiel argued from the back seat, trying not to show how much the tasks had drained him. "You should be thankful it was even possible to do so."

"Yeah, yeah," Dean muttered, pulling into the parking lot. He met Cas' eyes in the rear-view mirror and raised his eyebrows. "Dude, go and lie down."

"I am-"

"If you say 'fine'," Dean interrupted, "I will drag you out of the car myself."

"You would try," Cas corrected with a hint of a smile, but he got out of the car - the human way, since he wasn't sure how well his vessel would take flying while he was so drained - and followed Sam and Dean into the motel room.

"Hey, how'd you find us anyway?" Sam asked as he flopped down onto his bed. Dean shrugged and sat on the other bed, rubbing at a blossoming bruise on his jaw where the witch had got in a lucky hit.

"GPS on your cellphones. They were in his pocket. Cas, how'd he get the jump on you?"

"A spell aimed directly at my Grace," Castiel replied sourly, sitting on one of the chairs and resting his head on his arms. His head was aching and the darkness helped a little.

"Cas, you okay?"

"I will be fine momentarily. The memory wipe drained quite a lot of my strength." Cas' voice was muffled by his arms but he didn't raise his head. A loud grumble from one of the Winchester's stomachs reminded them they were hungry. The food Dean had gotten had been thrown aside in his haste to find them again, so this time, Sam went to get food while Dean stayed to keep an eye on Cas.

There was silence in the room for seven minutes and twenty eight seconds before Dean spoke.

"Hey, Cas... look, I'm sorry if I acted all weird earlier."

"No need to apologise, I understand perfectly." Castiel dared raising his head, pleased to find that it didn't ache as much now. He looked at Dean and smiled just slightly. "I worry about you too."

"I don't-" Dean started with a frown, then paused and blew out a breath, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. "Okay, maybe I do."

"I will say goodbye or the equivalent before I leave from now on," Castiel promised, and frowned when Dean's mouth twisted. "Dean?"

Dean was silent for a long moment, not looking at Cas. He said finally, "I just... do you have to leave at all?"

Castiel stared at Dean, who still refused to meet his eyes. "What?"

Dean pulled a face and shot a glance to Cas and away again. "Do you have to leave all the time? I mean, why can't you just... stay?"

"Stay?"

"I'm not repeating myself," Dean grumbled, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall. Cas realised that Dean was having a hard time asking this, and he smiled softly.

"Dean, look at me." Cas waited until Dean did before continuing. "I will make you a deal. If I promise to stay when I am able, will you tell me why you want me to?"

Dean gave him an accusing look. "You've been spending too much time with Sam." Cas just raised his eyebrows and Dean sighed. "Would you believe me if I told you you're useful?"

"I would believe you, but I wouldn't accept that as an answer," Cas replied readily, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Of course," he muttered. "And if I said I just prefer knowing where you are?"

"Same answer."

"You're annoying."

"So are you."

They just stared at each other for a moment. Then Dean laughed, shaking his head and looking away briefly. His smile faded when he met Castiel's eyes again and he sighed. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I care about you, Dean, and I can tell when something is troubling you." Cas noted the faint flush that his words brought to Dean's cheeks with curiosity and some pride, along with that odd feeling he'd been experiencing more and more around Dean.

"That's," Dean cleared his throat and tried again. "That's nice to hear, Cas, thanks."

There was another silence, during which Castiel waited patiently for Dean to speak again. After a few minutes, Dean sighed and muttered "Fuck it," standing and going to stand in front of where Cas was still sitting. Cas looked up at Dean, confused. Dean shrugged and said, "I always believed actions speak louder than words, so..."

And he leant down and pressed his lips to Castiel's firmly, holding the contact for a few seconds before pulling away and watching the angel for a reaction. Cas blinked once, surprised but certainly not displeased by the unexpected kiss.

"Cas?" Dean asked, sounding worried. "Shit, Cas I'm sorry-"

Castiel ignored him and pulled him back down by the tie he was still wearing, kissing Dean with a confidence he didn't know he possessed. Dean groaned quietly and pressed into the kiss, hands braced on the arms of the chair either side of Cas. One of Cas' hands found its way to the back of Dean's neck, holding him there.

It was simultaneously not what Castiel had ever expected and also exactly what he expected. He had been kissed before, but this was the first time he felt quite so right doing so. Dean's tongue traced lightly at Cas' bottom lip and he opened up willingly, feeling a more intense version of the strange swooping sensation in his stomach.

Castiel wasn't ashamed to admit that he was disappointed when Dean pulled back for air, but he definitely enjoyed the look in Dean's eyes when they looked at each other. One side of Dean's mouth pulled up into a smirk.

"That a good enough answer for you?" he asked, voice lower than normal, and slightly breathless. Cas felt a small bit of pride at having had that effect on Dean, but he was aware he was probably on much the same state, if not more so.

"Perfectly good answer," he replied, resting his forehead against Dean's and smiling. "And I agree that in this instance, actions do indeed speak louder than words."

Dean laughed and kissed Castiel again, bringing one hand up to thread through Cas' hair, tugging lightly. Cas' breathing hitched at the unexpected spark of pleasure the action invoked, and Dean chuckled again. His other hand moved to Cas' thigh, squeezing gently before beginning to move slowly higher...

"Dude, seriously!"

Both Cas and Dean looked up in surprise to see Sam standing in the doorway, looking a cross between amused and vaguely disgusted.

"Could you have at least done that somewhere I wouldn't see as soon as I walked in the door?"

"Shut up Sam," Dean replied with a grin, not moving from where he was. Cas felt his face burning and was glad he was partially obscured by Dean's shoulders.

"Hello Sam."

"Hi Cas," Sam said, shaking his head and raising the bags of food. "Dean, can you unglue from Cas long enough to eat?"

"Let me think about that for a sec..." Dean said mock thoughtfully, winking at Cas, who felt his face heat up even more. "Don't you vanish on me, Cas, I'm not done with you yet."

"Dean!"

"What? I'm just saying," Dean grinned and kissed Cas one more time before straightening up and facing Sam, who was wearing his 'bitch face number three', as Dean called it. Cas found he couldn't meet Sam's eye and instead focused on the pattern on the wallpaper.

As he listened to the brothers' customary back and forth insults and conversation, Cas smiled to himself and decided that no, he definitely was going nowhere if he could help it. The almost tender smile Dean gave him when they made eye contact just strengthened his resolution and made Castiel's heart soar. Sam, on his part, looked genuinely happy behind the obligatory aversion he had to seeing his brother kissing someone rather thoroughly. Cas hadn't realised how much he had cared about Sam's reaction, but he was immensely relieved that Sam approved.

Somewhere along the way, Cas realised, he had accidentally become part of the Winchesters' little family, and he had earned Dean's affection and respect, and that made him happier than he had been in a long time.

Okay... so this ended up about twice as long as I intended it to be o.O how did that happen?

And I don't like the ending. It's a bad ending. But I couldn't think of a better way to end it. Grr.

Also, sorry for any of you who were expecting/wanting smut, I only do that with pairings and characters I am more familiar with. Maybe next time ;)

Anyways, please review and tell me what you think :) I may even write more if I get enough reviews. Just sayin' ;)