Wow, my life is hectic at the moment. Practically everyone in my family has their birthday in August, plus my cousin is getting married in a few weeks and I STILL dont have a dress, I am deeply in love with my girlfriend and I dont think shes at that stage yet, my best friend from years back Danny has just had his heart broken by his boyfriend who he caught trying to seduce his teen sister whos only 15 and hes like 22 (ew. ew. ew. what. a bastard.), so I have him to comfort, and I seem to have a million things to sort out.
PLUS 'Blaine Warbler Anderson', my fanfic based on the poem Kurt wrote for Blaine and read to him on the final Glee Live of 2011, is halted at the moment cause Im stuck on the line 'Ever Since We've Met It's Been Absolute Heaven' so if anyone has any ideas, HELP ME. PLEASE.
Also, Im also stuck on my fanfic, '5 A Day: JDox drabbles' (how the hell are you meant to write a drabble based on ICEBERG LETTUCE?). Luckily, my next chapter in '10 Things I Hate About You' is coming along, but is very very VERY long :S
Sorry. I really needed to rant, Im slightly stressed at the moment.
ANYWAY, this is a little something that I started writing for the line 'Memories That Shine In Glitter' in 'Blaine Warbler Anderson' but it didnt really fit, so I carried on writing it as something that happened on April Fool Day and wrote something else for the fanfic. ENJOY!
Long Authors Note is long.
April Fool's
Christmas had come and gone. The almost-disaster of a Valentine's day passed. With Easter, summer and sun around the corner, it was time for April Fools. Ever since Blaine had started at Dalton, there had always been a competition between Nick and Jeff and Wes and David to pull the best pranks, to be the best 'Fred and George' of Dalton. He and Thad always tried to stay out of the way, but every year they fail miserably with the two trickster pairs somehow wrapping them up in their antics.
(Unfortunately for Kurt he didn't know of this custom – the four boys had 'accidently' forgotten to tell him.)
But this year, they decided on something different: instead of opposing each other, they'd team up against the newly blossomed couple that was Kurt and Blaine.
You see, they hadn't failed to notice a few of the physical similarities between Kurt and a certain pale-skinned, bronze-haired person that had taken up residence in the form of posters on their girlfriend's dorm rooms (that were mainly pointed out by mentioned girlfriends).
They'd tried to watch the movie, for their girlfriends' sakes, but they could just not see the appeal in a 107 years old pedophile-stalker-'vampire' who didn't drink blood and sparkled. So when both boys mentioned their mutual loathing of the series, they couldn't ignore the similarities.
For their prank of Kurt, it was mainly the sparkling bit they focused, which was why Nick and Jeff ended up sneaking into his room at four o'clock in the morning with more body glitter then the amount of product Blaine had ever used in his hair (which was saying something).
They'd made sure that Kurt'd had a sleeping pill the night before – by slipping it into some water, the sneaks – so he didn't wake up when they removed his bed clothes and his satin pajamas.
"Thank God he isn't going commando," Nick grinned, opening one of the many pots filled with silver body glitter.
"You know what, Nick?" Jeff said, doing the same. "I was thinking exactly the same thing."
While Nick and Jeff were busy covering Kurt head to toe with body glitter ( while hiding his soap, shower gel, flannel and anything else that could be used to remove it that wasn't expensive designer clothing) Wes and David had snuck into Blaine and Kevin's room with several pots of glue and fake fur.
"So we're focusing on his arms, side of his face and legs, right?" Wes asked. They had removed his t-shirt, bedclothes and rolled up his sweatpants to his thighs (they knew he slept commando).
"Right," David nodded. "Not his chest. There's already enough hair on there."
Wes chuckled and sat cross legged at Blaine's legs, covering with them with glue. They sat like this for about an hour: covering his legs and arms with the hair, even adding to his sideburns and stapling a fake tail to the back of his Dalton school pants.
When they snuck into Kurt's room just after 5 o'clock, the body glitter all over Kurt's front had dried and the boys were busy covering his back with it. Jeff had already stolen everything that could be used to remove it to his and Nick's room and hidden them at the back of their walk-in wardrobe.
"Hey, boys," Wes greeted them quietly, both him and David carrying every other pair of Blaine's Dalton school pants so he had to wear the wolf-tailed ones (his roommate Kevin was half a foot taller than him, so wearing his pants wouldn't be an option).
"How much have you guys done?" Nick asked, silver body glitter all over his hands and even some in his hair from running them through it.
"Covered in fake fur," David reported, putting the pants down on the bottom of Kurt's bed.
"What're the pants for?" Jeff asked, motioning his glittery left hand towards the pile of pants.
"Stapled a fake wolf tail to the only pants of his that are left in his room," Wes grinned, sitting backwards in Kurt's desk chair.
"Good one!" they chorused, high-fiving each other.
When Jeff was withdrawing his right hand, he stopped it to stare it. He hadn't used his left, so only his right was all silver and glittered. "…I'm Michael Jackson."
Nick blinked at his best friend, pausing his job. "What?"
"Michael Jackson, dude," Jeff repeated. "I have his hand!"
"As much as you want to be the King of Pop, aren't you meant to be doing…" Wes waved his hand towards Kurt.
"Blaine…" a voice mumbled. Nick fell off the bed his shock, landing with a thump on the ground.
Jeff blinked. "Did Kurt just say Blaine's name?"
"Blaine…" Kurt repeated, not woken up by Nick.
Wes pressed his hand across his mouth to not laugh. "Yeah, he did, Jeff."
"Blaine… really hot…" the boys snorted. "Great kisser… better than… better than Bri, than Bri-Brittany…"
"Brittany?" Nick repeated incredulously, but Kurt hadn't finished.
"Better than car… car… whatizname…" he mumbled darkly, if you could mumble darkly while sleeping.
"…he kissed a car?"
"I'm so confused," Jeff agreed with Nick. "More confused than a cow on AstroTurf."
Kurt seemed to have stopped his sleep-rambling about Blaine, so both boys found it safe enough to carrying on with the body-glittering.
"You two just finish that: David and I need to hide these pants from Blaine," Wes told them, getting up and lifting his pile of pants up again, David doing the same. "See you guys later."
"NICK! JEFF!"
Nick and Jeff were very thankful to their idea of hiding at seven in the morning (Kurt's waking time) as he stormed through Jefferson House still in his satin pajamas. There wasn't a single part of him on show that wasn't covered in silver glitter, causing many funny looks from the various pupils.
"Where are those ba –"
"Mr. Hummel," Mr. O'Driscoll interrupted him with a stern look on his face. "Swearing is against Dalton rules, and why are you covered in silver body glitter?"
Kurt lifted a slightly crumpled piece of paper to the teacher's face, which softened into an amused smile as he read it.
"To Edward Cullen, now you're always sparkling! Happy April Fools, Nick and Jeff," he read out. "Sorry, Mr. Hummel, nothing I can do. It's April Fool's day!"
Kurt almost shrieked in anger as he carried on storming through the halls. Not only was all his products stolen from his room, he couldn't get into his shared bathroom with his neighbor because Nick and Jeff had left Kurt's room by going into it, locking the door so Kurt couldn't get in, and going out of Andrew's room (but not before paying him to keep the door locked).
"Come on, let's see where he's going," Nick told Jeff, nudging him to walk along the corridor.
Unknown to most Dalton students – and teachers – behind the mahogany walls of Jefferson House were the narrow, dark, poky corridors that formed the unseen secret passages around the school. Originally, they were for the servants of the original owner's use only, but now the rabbit burrow of tunnels were the well-kept secret of a certain Nick Duval. Oh, and Jeff.
They snuck along the dark, musty passageway, a match Jeff had lit lighting the way. A box of matches was a staple in the large pockets of their Dalton blazers for this reason. Every now and again little bursts of light shone through peepholes, which were useful in finding out where you were and for lighting the place slightly.
"There he is!" Jeff whispered excitedly, peeping through one of the holes.
"Kurt?"
"No, Blaine. He looks hilarious! He put a blue headband on to cover his forehead!"
"Lemme see!" Nick nudged Jeff out of the way, looked through the peephole and sniggered. Loudly.
Blaine, who had been busy storming around the building looking for Wes and David, halted when he heard the snigger. "…Nick?"
"Shit," Nick cursed quietly and ducked out the way of the peephole. "He heard me!"
"Nick?" Blaine repeated, twisting around the room. When he decided that he'd just imagined things, he looked back to the paper in his hand. "To Blainey-Boo, about the hair… don't worry, you're not Wolverine. I know how much you want to punch Hugh Jackman. You're definitely not cool enough either – you're Jacob from Twilight. Happy April Fools, Wes and David… I'm gonna kill them guys!"
"That's likely," Jeff joked, nudging Nick. Blaine turned in their direction, narrowing his triangular eyebrows.
"Jeff?" Blaine called out. "Seriously, guys, where are you?"
"Time to go?" Jeff asked his best friend.
"You know what, Jeff?" Nick grinned, taking his box of matches out of his pocket. "I was thinking exactly the same thing." He lit one and started moving as fast as he could down the corridor.
The four boys were able to avoid Kurt and Blaine for most of the day – Nick and Jeff by going to their lessons through the labyrinth of passageways and Wes and David because they had different classes – but Kurt and Blaine soon bumped into each other.
"Kurt? What the hell happened to you?" Blaine asked incredulously at him. "Why are you covered in glitter?"
"Why do you have a tail on your ass?" Kurt retorted. "And a blue headband on?"
"…good point. Was it Wes and David?"
"No. Nuthead and Jackass."
"Nut and what?"
"Nick and Jeff," Kurt snapped, "Snuck into my room, covered me with body glitter, took anything that I could remove it with, locked me out of my own bathroom and made me Edward Fuckin' Cullen."
"Look what Wes and David wrote on my forehead!" Blaine lifted the blue headband up to show Kurt the word 'pedo-wolf' written on it. "I'm gonna kill them!"
"All of them," Kurt snarled in agreement, scaring a passing freshman. "Oh, what you looking at," he snapped, storming out of the common room in search for the four.
"Do you think they've gone?" Nick whispered to Jeff in one of the corridors behind the common room's paneled walls. Jeff didn't answer, just nudged him out the way to stare through the peephole Nick had been using.
His eyes scanned the common room, which was filled with several Dalton students doing homework. They hadn't snuck back to their room yet in case Kurt or Blaine decided to set up a watch for them, so they were both still weighed down with their books and assignments.
"I don't know, but can we go back to our room?" Jeff replied finally. "This stuff is really weighing me down."
"What if they're there?" Nick whispered back.
"Peepholes, Nick. That's what they're there for!"
"Fine. I still think it's a bad idea," Nick agreed, leading the way back to their room.
"Are they there?"
Jeff peeped through the hole. The door was open – probably the result of Kurt or Blaine (or both) storming in to try and find them – but neither boy was in there waiting.
"All clear," he confirmed, opening the secret door that took up the exact place of one of the finely carved panels. They flung their bags onto their respective beds and Nick flung himself onto his as Jeff closed the door to the hallway.
"Look! They're in there!" Kurt yelled from down the hall.
"SHIT!" Jeff cursed, slamming to door and running back to the panel. "Get in, get in!"
Nick jumped off the bed and after him, closing the door as he did, but not quick enough for Blaine and Kurt to see to panel close behind them.
"NICK! JEFF!" Kurt yelled, running to the panel. "You get out of the wall right now! …wait, what?"
Blaine had just been standing at the door, blinking. "Did they just disappear into the wall?"
Kurt took a step back, his anger replaced with confusion as he stared at the panel. It had no knob, no obvious way to open it. "I… I think so. How?"
Blaine walked up to the panel they disappeared through and knocked on it. Then again: harder. "The walls are hollow."
"You're not telling me there are secret passages running through the walls?"
"It's like Hogwarts."
"Like what?"
Blaine sighed. "You really need to read the books, Kurt. You know nothing about Harry Potter, Wes thinks it's strange that I can stand it. "
"Seriously? You're that obsessed?" Kurt asked him with raised eyebrows.
"Yes, he is," Nick called from in the wall. They'd stayed, confident they wouldn't work out how to open the door. "Don't you know that already?"
"NICK DUVAL, YOU LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW –" Kurt started to yell at the wall before being interrupted by two harmonious voices yelling,
"FOR GOD'S SAKE, BLAINE, JUST KISS HIM! HE'S EDWARD, YOU'RE JACOB, GET THE SLASH ON ALREADY!"
Nick scrunched up his nose at the slurpy noises coming through the walls. "Do you really have to be so loud?"
"If you're gonna make out at least do it in your own room," Jeff added.
In response, one of them banged on the wall again. Hard.
"OW!" they protested.
"Then shut up then!" Kurt answered.
"I'm surprised you could surface for long enough to say that!" Nick called back.
Kurt sighed. "Come on, Blaine, let's go make out in your room."
"Come on, Nick, let's go mood kill while they're making out in their room."
"Oh my Gaga; just let me into the passage so I can KILL YOU ALREADY!"
"That's likely," they chorused, grinning at each other.
"Kurt…" a small voice called. "Aren't we going to go make out?"
Nick and Jeff snorted at the tone of Blaine's voice.
"Not if Pervy McPerverson and Pedo McPedoson are gonna watch!"
"Creative names, Freaky McFashion."
"Yeah, real witty. What do you think of them, Dapper McDisney?"
"YES! I've found the opening!" Kurt interrupted.
"Oh no."
"Oh, yes, Pedo McPedoson."
"Oh no, Freaky McFashion," Nick grinned as he clicked down the lock on the inside. "Pervy McPerverson has outsmarted o again!"
"Seriously, Nick?" Blaine called as Kurt groaned and banged his fist on the panel again.
"Yes, Dapper McDisney: seriously," Nick laughed. "Now let's go to their rooms, Jeff, before they do, and steal all of Blaine's hair gel and Kurt's most expensive designer clothes."
"And mix them together," Jeff added. "Great idea, Nick!"
"DON'T YOU DARE!" the couple yelled simultaneously, but both boys were already well on their way down the little corridor, matches in one hand and the other's in the other.
I laaaike this. I hope you do too: it has Kurt CoBlaine, hate of Twilight, AVPM quotes, Harry Potter references, Nick and Jeff making nicknames for Kurt and Blaine, more hate of Twilight and even some Nick/Jeff. Not much more Wes or David though, and no Wavel. Sorry!
Anyway, if you skipped my Authors note at the start (wouldnt be surprised if you did) I NEED HELP. I need to write something with the title 'Ever Since We've Met It's Been Absolute Heaven', a line from the poem Kurt made for Blaine on Glee Live, and I have no ideas. PLEASE help me. I have huge writers block for this. HELP ME.
If you want me to continue (like write more Nick/Jeff or find out what Kurt CoBlaine do to Wes and David, or more pranks they could do or could've have done) just review. Thanks for reading!