So, I guess some of you guys are probably wondering why my mom calls me goose. Ha! I'm not going to tell you!
Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to promise you won't tell anyone! Or I'll haunt your kitchen cabinets.
Okay, It all started when I was 7 years old. And, you're also probably wondering how I remember that far back? Easy one. I have a photographic memory. I can remember anything I see. I even remember when my diapers were changed. Not a very pleasant memory. But, anyways. It was when I was 7.
Oh, and don't tell anyone about that memory thing, either. People don't know. They think I'm psychic. But, really, I'm not. Tell, and I'll haunt your cabinets.
*Flashback*
"Shawn!" Madeleine Spencer, aka, my mom, shouted at me.
"What?!" I yelled back.
"Don't talk to me in that tone of voice, young man." She yelled back.
I rolled my eyes. What could a harmless goose egg do?
*End flashback*
Just so you know, I found that egg in my backyard, just laying there. Out in the open.
I took care of that egg, until it hatched. Unfortunately, it turned out to NOT be a goose egg, only a chicken's egg. Some jerk must have thrown it in our yard. And it magically didn't break. But something I never figured out, is why it hatched. A chicken egg. Aren't the one's you get at the grocery store, like, made so they don't hatch?
Anyway,
*Resumes flashback*
"It could have a disease?!" Mom said.
"A disease? Really, Mom? I highly doubt that's the case."
"You never know, Shawn!" She told me in a worried tone.
She picked up the egg I found, and upon closer inspection she said, "Shawn, this isn't a goose egg."
"Of course it is, Mom! Don't be ridiculous!" I replied.
"Shawn-" Then I could tell something clicked in her brain, "Nevermind, you're right. It is a goose egg."
*Stops flashback*
You know, now that I think back on that. I need to clarify. I didn't see something click in her brain at the time. I thought back on the memory, and her face told me that is what happened.
*Back to flashback*
I nodded in agreement. Finally she agreed with me, "Thank you."
*Ends flashback, again*
Yeah, I know, I keep stopping it. But I gotta tell ya somethin. Very inaccurate.
Oops. Important. Dumb auto correct, that wasn't even close to what I was going to say. Wait, why am I typing this on my phone? That was dumb.
Well, let me just tell you. My mother thought it would just be okay to go along with my theory that it was a goose egg. I was a complete idiot. I guess school is there for a reason.
Wait, I just said that? I take it back!
So, where was I? Oh yeah, It hatched.
I'm an idiot.
*Recontinues story* That's a word, right? Auto correct won't work when I need it.
"MOM!" I yelled from my room.
She ran up the stairs to find me sitting on the ground, with a baby chick.
"What the heck is this thing?"
"That's called a baby chick."
"Uh, why was it in my goose egg?"
She started laughing.
"What's so funny?" I said.
"Nothing." She said, still laughing.
"What?" I said again, trying to get an answer.
"It wasn't a goose egg, sorry, Shawnie.
"What?!" I said back. I was very disappointed.
"This is extremely funny." She said, starting to laugh again.
"No! It's not! Shawn Jr. is a chicken!"
"Shawn Jr.?" She said.
"Yeah." I replied.
She laughed even harder, "So, you named the 'goose' after yourself?"
"Yeah!" I said with a smile, which soon dropped from my face, "But it turned out to be a stupid chicken."
"So, what are you gonna do, now?" She asked me.
"I don't know, I don't want a dumb chicken."
"Well, we definitely don't have any place to keep it."
I looked down in sadness.
"Well, we need to get this chickie in a warm environment, before it leaves us." She scooped up the creature from the ground, "I'm going to call animal control while, you, clean your room."
"Aww, Mom!" I whined.
"Don't clean your room, no desert, tonight. Sorry, Goose, that's how it works."
"What did you just call me?" I asked.
"Goose. Like it?"
"Uh, why did you call me that?"
"You were here during this whole ordeal, were you not?"
I nodded, slowly.
"Then you know why." She smiled, then left.
*End of flashback*
Okay, I guess that doesn't exactly clarify why she calls me that. It still doesn't make sense. I kind of got used to the nickname, though. But, you have to, because she kept calling me that. I'm a grown man, she still calls me that. Oh, and just so you know, you, me, my mother, Gus, and my father, are the only ones who know this story. They haven't told. So, let me know this. Will you tell? If you do I will haunt your cabinets! I'm serious! I will. After I die, though. You know what. Scratch that, that means I can't haunt you till I die, so, that's kinda dumb that I said that at the beginning.
But, anyway, that's the story. Don't tell, you'll regret it. I'm just gonna go with that. You'll regret it.