Whenever she closes her eyes flocks of bad memories hover in her mind like vultures on their prey.
Craig's ghost walks towards her with a charming smile; he brushes his cold lips against her own, then collapses to the ground in a pool of blood. And the blood smiles back at her too.
That's why she's unable to sleep. She never dares to touch the sleeping pills staring at her from her nightstand, lest she gives in to temptation and swallows too many.
Never-ending sleep and silence, that's what she longs for day and night.
She wishes all of the voices in her head would stop. She's sick and tired of them repeating the same things over and over again.
You're a cop. You should have seen right through him.
Love is blindness. Only a naïve girl like you would fall for it.
Red John is now laughing at you. Red John…
Her fingers clutch around the teacup until her knuckles are white. Chamomile tea isn't helping in the slightest, and all of a sudden she throws it against the wall.
She doesn't bother cleaning up the mess; she walks out of the door instead, and heads straight to the CBI headquarters.
xxx
It's Jane who finds her at the crack of dawn, slumped over her desk in the bullpen.
"Hey," he says softly, and she's awake.
"Couldn't stay at home," she mumbles, weariness written all over her face. Nightmares have come to visit her in her sleep once again, she's not entitled to a moment's respite anymore.
He crouches down beside her and looks her straight in the eyes. "Don't let them win, Grace."
When she only blinks, he fishes his two-headed coin out of his vest pocket and twiddles it between his fingers. "Just focus on your breathing. In, and out. That's it. In, and out."
Her eyelids feel heavy all of a sudden, and her mind turns blank and silent.
A small smile forms on her lips as her breath evens out. She's not even aware of Jane's arms supporting her, then laying her down on his worn-out leather couch.
The sun is high in the sky when she wakes up again, none of her coworkers has dared to disturb her much needed rest. She takes a deep breath and wanders off in search of a coffee.