Mirror Image
Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Pairing: FitzSimmons
Rating: M
Summary: Set in Season 2, from episode 12 ("Who You Really Are") to season finale – AU towards the end.
Betaed by: stormkpr – thank you very much!
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me – I'm just borrowing them!
* A series of thoughts and possible missing scenes between Fitz and Simmons during the second half of Season 2 with a different twist to the end.
FITZ
Fitz stalked into his room, shut the door forcibly and turned the lock. Feeling equally comforted and claustrophobic by the four walls, he began pacing the length of his bed trying to work out if he'd feel better flinging himself face down on it or by wearing out the carpet from his constant steps.
Nothing felt right; his spiteful words to Jemma a far cry from anything he would have imagined saying to her. Telling her that she was scared and that she'd changed had been an accurate statement in his opinion but the tone he'd used; where the hell had that come from? He'd never spoken to her like that before and his bad hand couldn't stop shaking from the stress of it.
Feeling suddenly exhausted, he sat on the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his thighs as he leaned forward, head bowed as he tried to breathe deeply. He thought of the time when Ward had brought Jemma back to the bus after she'd jumped out to save them all. The relief at seeing her alive had flooded his body so quickly, it had brought an instant calm to his being. His other half was home and he'd felt complete. It was one of his favourite memories and he knew it would bring his breathing back to an even rate.
The only problem with that particular memory was that it also symbolised the moment he'd known that she meant more to him than just his best friend. It was just a flicker of a realisation, a moment of wanting to rush over to her and hold her to him, to breathe in the smell of her perfume, the familiar strawberry aroma of her shampoo, to cup her face gently in his hands and … yes, to kiss her. He'd resisted, of course and then convinced himself that it had simply been an overreaction to seeing her alive but then she'd told him that he was the hero and she'd kissed his cheek and well, there had been no denying it after that.
Fitz sighed. He just wasn't sure that she was the same girl he'd fallen in love with. He missed the old Jemma. The Jemma before they'd been hauled out of the ocean. The Jemma who would have told him that she was going undercover. The Jemma he would have confided in about Skye's blood results because she would have protected their friend. This new Jemma was hardened and yet more nervy and emotional when threatened – the inhumans situation a prime example. She was stronger in putting her point across and yet she shied away from time alone with him in the lab, always ensuring that there were other technicians around. Not that he blamed her for that really; he hadn't sought out any time with her either, preferring to work in the garage, only entering the lab when absolutely necessary.
The truth was, there were times when he honestly didn't recognise her anymore. The thought that the old Jemma – his Jemma – had disappeared and been replaced with someone he didn't know filled him with such a sense of loss that it brought tears to his eyes. He wanted her back. He wanted his best friend back who he could talk non-stop with and who had been his counterpart for so long. He wanted the Jemma who looked at him with such joy when he built something new and who jumped up and down excitedly when she wanted to share with him a new discovery of her own. Fitz felt the tears falling and for the first time since she'd returned, he didn't try to stop them. Giving into the complete misery and despair of losing Jemma, he put his head in his hands and sobbed.
SIMMONS
Jemma watched dumbfounded as Fitz left the mess hall. Her brain couldn't seem to process what had just happened. Here she was, helping to clean up what could only be described as wreckage after Fitz had kept vital information from her – something the old Fitz would never have done - and he'd just turned it all around and said that she was the one who'd changed! Unbelievable!
Silently fuming, she continued the task of putting the room back together with the others who, thankfully, hadn't said a word since. She presumed they were all trying to come to terms with the new developments around Skye, and her spat with Fitz was a minor side drama they probably didn't want to deal with.
Eventually, she returned to her bunk and sat down at her dressing table with a heavy thud. She was so weary it felt like all of her muscles were going to give up any moment and she would simply slide to the floor in a heap. She replayed the scene over and over again, her brain the only part of her that could function past the physical tiredness. His dig about 'being even' now that they'd both lied to each other stung deeply. His lie had been entirely different to hers; she'd lied because she knew it was the only way she'd be able to leave. The only way for him to get better without her there. Her lie had been for him. Her only thought had been to do whatever it took to help him even if it meant leaving. His lie had been to keep Skye's secret because he thought that the team would try to lock her up! She never would have done that.
Would she?
Perhaps she may have suggested a quarantine of sorts while she ran some tests. So yes, maybe she would have. In the end, Skye had taken herself off to the cage to put their safety first so the result had ended up being the same anyway.
Jemma sighed. Nothing felt right. Bickering with Fitz had been part of their DNA but this quarrelling, making digs at one another and at times, open hostility was just so awful that she didn't even recognise them anymore. Had they become such different people that they couldn't even be friends now? She'd been truthful when she'd told Mack that she wanted Fitz to be who he was, not someone from before but she couldn't deny that she missed the old Fitz. She missed his confidence in science, she missed his reassurance when she doubted something they were working on, she missed his silent comfort of a hug when she needed it. She didn't care about his brain injury or that it took him longer to articulate his thoughts; she knew that his intelligence was still a match for hers, some of it was just harder to find now. She was confident that over time, he would find the words quicker and the answers to the scientific riddles they faced. It was his warmth that she missed and his forgiving nature. She'd been sure that once she returned, he would have understood why she left and forgiven her but that had not been the case. He now turned away from her at every juncture and she felt weary from trying to chase him.
She raised her eyes to the mirror opposite her and really looked at herself. The haircut had been a mistake. She thought it would make her feel like a new person and for a while it had but in reality, she was still the same girl she'd always been. She longed for the lab, exciting experiments to work on and she longed for Fitz. And if that meant the new Fitz then she would have to accept that the old traits of his that she missed were gone. He might never feel the warmth and friendship for her that he once did (and he certainly couldn't possibly love her anymore) but they were two excellent scientists who worked better together than apart so if this was all she could have, she would have to deal with it.
She glanced at the photo pushed into the corner of her mirror frame. It was the picture they took in Peru; they looked so happy and innocent then. They had no idea what they would face in the coming months. The resolve she'd felt a minute ago was suddenly gone and without warning, tears pooled in her eyes. God, she missed him. She wanted to hold him and tell him over and over that she was sorry for not explaining why she left him. She wanted to tell him that she felt broken without him and that the three months with Hydra had been the loneliest of her life but she knew it was too late. He wouldn't want to hear it. It was at that moment that Jemma realised that she'd fallen in love with her best friend and there was nothing she could do about it. Overwhelmed with the pain of losing Fitz, she put her head in her hands and wept.
FITZ
"Whatever, Jemma". That's what he'd said to her. What was wrong with him? He couldn't seem to stop from attacking her where Skye was concerned and yet deep down, he knew that Jemma was trying to help. He paused mid-step. Maybe he should go back and apologise; explain why he'd been deliberately mean. But say what? "I'm sorry, Jemma, it's just that it feels like you're trying to fix Skye the way you tried to fix me but we don't need fixing! We need your support!" Fitz leaned his shoulder against the wall. He was so tired of fighting with Jemma and he knew that Skye wouldn't want him to on her behalf.
Unable to find the words he wanted to say, he walked on.
SIMMONS
Jemma took a deep breath and successfully stopped the tears from falling. He doesn't mean it, she told herself. He's just using the situation with Skye to project his anger at you for leaving him. Turning away from her desk, she walked over to the other computer where she was running some simulations on possible upgrades to Skye's gloves when everything went black.
FITZ
Fitz wasn't sure things could get any worse; Mack and Bobbi had betrayed them and now several agents he didn't know were going through their lab with a fine tooth comb. Well, strictly speaking, it was Jemma's lab as he'd moved out but he still felt a sense of ownership and all he could think about was how long it was going to take to put everything back to how he and Jemma liked it. That's if they would even be allowed to work there anymore. Panic was definitely starting to set in and he missed the warmth of Jemma's body next to his since she'd got up to help Mack.
It had been an odd moment as they'd sat on the floor in joint horror and despair at what their so-called friends had done. He may have been angry at Jemma for leaving him to recover from his brain injury without her, but she hadn't betrayed him. She hadn't pretended to be his friend and then infiltrated the base with an unknown agenda. When Jemma put her hand on top of his, he realised a truth that he should have clung to before; she was the only person he really trusted. Not knowing how to articulate that, he had put his hand over hers and hoped that simple motion would convey how he felt.
When Agent Weaver had said that Mack was stabilised but then asked for Jemma's assistance to review his injuries, he had detected her initial reluctance from the way her body had stiffened but she'd looked to him for guidance. As if wanting to express her own trust in him, she'd asked him what he thought with a single look and for the first time in forever, he'd felt on an equal footing with her. Knowing it was his opinion she sought above all others, he felt a deep sense of pride and affection for her. They weren't bad people and holding back from helping Mack wouldn't have got them anywhere so he'd given her a small nod and she'd got up without further question. Now that she was gone, he had more time to think about what was going to happen to them and as far as he could tell, it wouldn't be anything good.
SIMMONS
Jemma's hands clenched as she watched the agents scrutinise their lab. Fitz is going to moan for weeks about how everything is in the wrong place, she thought miserably only to then realise that he may not even care that much seeing as he'd left the lab to her. She couldn't believe they'd been duped again! After everything that happened with Ward, they certainly hadn't learned their lesson.
She'd trusted Mack after he had befriended Fitz so easily when she was away, and Bobbi had saved her from Hydra so why on earth would she think they were working with another S.H.I.E.L.D? She felt irritated, let down and very vulnerable. People she trusted kept turning out to be traitors or at least conspirators to another cause and she didn't know what to do with that. As she sat side by side with Fitz, she encountered the only reassurance she'd felt since the base had gone black. Despite the secret he'd kept about Skye, he was the only person she knew who would not deliberately hurt her. Without thinking, she'd covered his hand with her own, seeking for and giving comfort at the same time. For what seemed like a very long couple of seconds, he looked at their joined hands, as if weighing up what she had been trying to tell him. Then he carefully placed his hand on top of hers and the world was suddenly righted again.
When he'd glanced over at Agent Weaver's arrival, she'd followed his gaze and felt yet more disappointment at the sight of the agent she'd respected so dearly. When the request to help Mack had come, she'd internally baulked at the idea but the doctor in her, the characteristic in her that wanted to help people, had kicked in so she'd looked to Fitz for the answer. It was his judgment alone that she trusted and when he gave her the nod, she got to her feet willingly.
As she approached Mack, he looked up and began to speak, "Simmons, I know you don't understand but –". She cut him off immediately. "Please stop. I'm not interested in anything you have to say; I'm simply here to assess your injuries." Jemma picked up his medical chart and began to read the notes but Mack wasn't giving up easily. "But Jemma, you need to know that I didn't –". Jemma slammed Mack's chart down on the table next to his bed and the room went quiet. Leaning forward and speaking quietly but clearly, she said, "Obviously, you didn't hear me the first time which I will let you off for because you've just been involved in an explosion and your hearing may be impaired. So let me tell you again, one more time, I am not interested in anything you have to say."
Before Mack could say anymore, Weaver walked up to them. "Agent Simmons? Is everything alright here?" Jemma turned towards her former mentor and handed the chart to her. "Everything is fine!" she said with a chirpiness she didn't feel. Glancing back at Mack with disdain, she finished, "He'll live".
FITZ
He didn't know if it was a case of realising that life was too short to hold grudges or whether his friendship with Jemma was too strong to resist but somehow they'd ended up being on the same team again. At first, he thought that Jemma had disappointed him again when she'd offered to try and get Fury's tool box open but then he'd figured out her plan and had mentally beaten himself up for questioning her motives in the first place.
It saddened him to think that Jemma's undercover mission (added to the fact that she'd left him) had coloured his judgement of her but could he be blamed for that, really? Then he remembered their moment sitting on the floor in the lab and he realised that he had to let this go. He couldn't bear to lose her friendship even if that was all he could have. They were both different people now, changed by their experiences but that didn't make it a negative. Yes, Jemma was harder now but she'd had to adapt to their environment and frankly, so had he. They were now perhaps more prepared for the life that came with being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and that was no bad thing.
He thought of the moment they'd been talking about May and Dr Garner and what an odd couple the two made. In that short conversation, they'd forgotten about everything and just been themselves. He'd seen the delight on her face as they'd briefly chatted, and recalling her beautiful smile, he accepted that he was still in love with her. It didn't matter that they weren't quite the same people from when they met all those years ago. He loved her before and he loved her now.
Fitz sighed. He had to leave soon. He hated the idea of leaving Jemma behind; it went against everything his heart was telling him but it had been her plan so he had no choice but to go along with it. He rolled his eyes as he thought about the telling off she would give him if he didn't play along and ended up ruining everything. Nope, best to just do as he was told.
He was about to zip up his bag when he saw Jemma hurrying towards him.
SIMMONS
As soon as Fitz had left the lab, most of the other agents had either left or returned to their jobs and Jemma could let out the breath she'd been holding. Fitz had clearly caught on to her plan and the relief at knowing he was on board lifted a weight off her shoulders. She was aware that Bobbi was hovering in the doorway and she wondered how she was going to leave the lab without having a good excuse.
She heard Bobbi's light footsteps and steadied herself for whatever was coming. "I'm sorry, Jemma." Jemma turned towards Bobbi and looked at her coolly. "What are you sorry for?" she replied. "That Fitz is leaving or the fact that you pretended to be our colleague, our friend and then betrayed us?"
Bobbi looked pained as she tried to explain. "Jemma, I didn't want this! You have to believe me." Jemma simply shook her head in reply. "I don't believe anything you say anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to go and say goodbye to Fitz privately. I suggest that you lock the tool box away for now until I get back."
Jemma walked as confidently as she could towards the door of the lab and gave the agent guarding her path a glare. He looked over her shoulder and presumably got the nod from Bobbi as he stepped aside.
Happy that she'd come up with a feasible excuse to leave the lab, she hurried to Fitz, hoping she would find him alone. She didn't want him to leave without having the chance to tell him to stay safe. It might not mean much to him but she had to show him that she cared.
FITZ
As Jemma drew closer, he could see that she had a worried look on her face. Not good. Had someone discovered their plan? Was he staying after all? He walked towards her, an automatic response to seeing her agitated. "What's the matter? Has something happened?" he asked urgently. She shook her head emphatically. "No, no, everything is fine. I left Bobbi to put the tool box away and said I wanted to say goodbye to you privately."
He watched as she looked over her shoulder, presumably to check that no-one was around. This time when she spoke, her voice was so quiet, he had to lean down towards her to hear. "You haven't moved anything around in your bag, have you?" Knowing that she was talking about the real tool box which was, he guessed, buried deep inside his bag, he shook his head silently. A look of relief and satisfaction came across her face. "No, of course you haven't. Well done! Fitz, I –" she cut off as she glimpsed his copy of their Peru photo tucked halfway into the side pocket of his bag.
Feeling a little embarrassed, he thought he should go and push the photo in further, out of sight but her soft gaze was on him now and he couldn't seem to move. "You're taking our picture then?" she asked, pleasure written all over her face. Wanting to try and bring the conversation to safer ground, he replied quickly. "Well, they would think it strange if I didn't take it." He could have kicked himself the minute the words were out of his mouth because the look of disappointment that came over her face crushed him. "Oh yes … you're right," she replied, looking away.
Attempting to rescue the situation, he followed up with, "I meant that you've been my best friend forever so that picture is important to me. They know that so even though things have been a bit strained between us lately, they know I wouldn't leave that picture behind." Surprised at how much he'd managed to say without faltering, he took a deep breath while he waited for her response. He wasn't ready for her reaction. Quickly closing the gap between them, she put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Pure instinct had him slipping his arms around her lower back and hugging her back. It felt so good to hold her that, for a moment, he revelled in her warmth and her affection. He couldn't remember when they had last hugged but for him, this time was different. He couldn't help but feel the curves of her body against his, the feel of her soft hair against his cheek, her breath tickling his neck. He breathed deeply, wanting to take every moment in so that he had a good memory to hold on to once he'd left the base.
When he thought she was pulling away, he began to loosen his hold on her but she moved her lips close to his ear. "Just because things have been a bit awkward between us doesn't mean that I don't care. It doesn't mean that I don't want you to be safe because I do, Fitz. You're the most important person in my world so please hurry up and find Coulson and get back here!" she whispered fiercely.
He pulled back, his hands resting on her waist as she too leaned back. He noticed with a small degree of joy that she wasn't ready to stop touching him yet either as her hands rested on his upper arms. He didn't know exactly what it meant but he was sure that it meant something. Using the excuse of not wanting to be heard, he also leaned in close to her ear and whispered in response, "I don't know how long it will take to find Coulson but I know that he'll have a plan and I will be back for you, Jemma – I promise."
She was already nodding as he reluctantly leaned back again. He wondered if now was the time to tell her that he still loved her. If something happened to him, this would be his last chance. But she was smiling bravely up at him and he knew she was putting on a front to reassure him that she would be fine. Heaping more pressure on her by declaring his feelings wasn't the right thing to do. Before he could question his decision, he heard voices and Jemma jumped back from him quickly. He stepped back towards his bag and was standing in place just as Mack and Bobbi approached.
Bobbi spoke up, "I'm sorry, Jemma but it's time for Fitz to go." Jemma gave Bobbi a glare and then turned back to him. "Let me carry your bag," she said quietly. He didn't understand why she was volunteering to carry his rucksack but he allowed her to take it while he carried his holdall. At the exit of the base, as the agent scanned him, he understood what Jemma was doing. As she helped him put on his rucksack, notably after the scanning had finished, he took a deep breath and walked out of the door.
SIMMONS
When she'd seen the Peru photo she'd been surprised and touched but when she'd mentioned it, he'd brushed it off as something he had to do to avoid their ruse being detected. When he'd explained further, she'd felt such a feeling of unconditional love for him, she did the natural thing and hugged him. With her arms tight around him, she couldn't resist tucking her face into his neck and breathing in his familiar smell of deodorant mixed with a hint of aftershave.
It felt so good to have his strong arms around her and for the first time, she noticed his lean torso had acquired a few more muscles from his physiotherapy. The extra few inches he had on her height made her feel protected in his embrace and embarrassingly, she started to imagine what it would be like to feel his body against hers whilst in a more intimate setting.
Desperately trying to clear her mind of the naughty thoughts rushing through her, she forced herself to think about why she was there in the first place. Fitz was leaving and she had no idea when she would see him again. Leaning in, she did her best to convey just how important he was to her and to her relief, he replied with reassuring words of his own. She knew they had a long road ahead but at least they seemed to be travelling in the same direction.
She bravely played her part in front of Mack and Bobbi but when Fitz walked out of the door, it took every fibre of her being to stop herself from bursting into tears. God, she hoped he could stay safe long enough to find Coulson. The sooner he was back, the sooner she would feel complete again.
FITZ
Fitz's hand was shaking. He took deep, even breaths and tried to calm down. Mike Peterson was gone, along with some guy they didn't know who seemed to have powers and here they were, flying back to the base with Ward of all people and Agent 33. This was NOT right. They shouldn't have trusted Ward; everything he touched turned into something dark and out of control and God only knew what sort of person his new partner in crime was. He knew he should probably feel sorry for Agent 33 – or Kara – but anyone who fell in with Ward and who looked to be falling in love with Ward had to be dangerous in his book.
Hunter looked pale which was not surprising considering he'd been shot. Kara had helped him so maybe she had some redeeming qualities after all. Regardless, Jemma would want to have a look at Hunter's injuries when they got back.
Jemma.
Automatically, he took hold of his bad hand with his good one and began to massage it, just the way she had instructed him to. He didn't want her to see him shaking; he wanted her to see that he could go out in the field and hold his own against Ward. Well, sort of. He wondered if it had been Jemma accessing Mike's feed; it would make sense that they would ask her to do that if they had found out about him working with Coulson. Had they punished her once they'd discovered that he had Fury's tool box (because they had to have discovered that by now)? He clenched his teeth at the idea of Jemma being thrown in a cell or something. No, nothing was right anymore.
SIMMONS
Jemma paced up and down the lab, not caring that she was getting in everyone's way. They'd had the call that Bobbi and Mack were bringing in Coulson, Hunter, Fitz, Agent 33 and Grant bloody Ward. She shivered. Just the thought of seeing that man again had her breaking out in a cold sweat. And Coulson had been working with him! And Fitz had gone along with it! What was he thinking?!
Suddenly, a cool hand grabbed hold of her wrist and stopped her dead in her tracks. May. She hadn't even seen her approach. How does she do that? May fixed her with a hard look. "You need to calm down. Once Coulson gets the all clear from Gonzales, they'll be here and you need to check out Hunter's injuries. Fitz is okay so stop pacing." Jemma pulled her hand out of May's grasp, a little harder than she intended. "You may think that Fitz is okay but he's just had to spend time with Ward in the confined space of an airplane! Plus, he's got to come back to an interrogation about how he stole Fury's tool box! A crime that I actually committed but which you sold him out for! So, don't tell me not to pace!" she yelled, walking away from May before she said anymore.
FITZ
When Fitz disembarked from the plane, he avoided Ward and Kara, and followed Hunter to the lab. The only thing he wanted to do right now was to see Jemma. He was going to use the excuse that he wanted to make sure Hunter was okay but in reality, he wanted to be near her. Seeing Ward brought back all the memories of being locked in the pod with Jemma at the bottom of the ocean, and a protectiveness towards her burned through him so strongly that he felt his feet moving in the direction of the lab before he'd really thought his motives through.
Nearing the lab, he could see Jemma through the glass and a deep calm came over him. She was here. She was okay and not locked up in a cell or anything so it was all good. Before he could walk through the door, a hand landed on his arm, firmly holding him back. May. He hadn't sensed her at all. How does she do that? "Fitz, I need to talk to you," she said in a low voice. Impatient to see Jemma, he resisted. "Can it wait, May? I want to see Jem- er, Hunter. You know, to make sure he's okay …" he finished lamely. He knew that May wouldn't have missed his slip up.
"Hunter is fine and it's Simmons I need to talk to you about," she said, pulling him over to one side, away from the glass window. "What's happened?" he said, feeling a frown of concern come across his face.
May didn't beat around the bush. "Nothing bad but you should know that I told Gonzales and his team that you stole Fury's tool box and that Simmons had simply been protecting you. I did it so that they didn't put Simmons in an interrogation room and quiz her for hours. God only knows what else she would have confessed." Fitz felt that he should defend Jemma on this because she was a lot better at lying these days but before he could speak, May continued, "And you should also know that she was very unhappy about it. Said that I threw you to the wolves." Fitz raised an eyebrow at this. "Well, it seems like you did actually".
May, her expression unchanged, replied, "Yes, I did. It was a means to an end and now we're past it. Right?"
Fitz weighed up the options of arguing with her on this and decided against it. To be honest, it was Jemma's reaction that had piqued his interest. "She really stuck up for me?" he asked, a little shyly and unsure of how he felt about that. May gave him a look that said, "Why would I lie?" and walked off down the corridor.
SIMMONS
Once Jemma had removed the bullet, she set about stitching up the wound in Hunter's abdomen. Normally she would be exceptionally adept at this but her mind kept wandering to whether Fitz was bearing up or not. He'd briefly put his head around the door to check on Hunter and had then thrown her a wave which looked anything but casual and then hurried back out with an odd look on his face. She'd wanted to ask him if he was okay after being around Ward but he hadn't given her the chance. Her gaze dropped with sadness that she was no longer the person he sought comfort from. She'd thought they'd had a 'moment' before he left the base but perhaps she'd been wrong.
"Ow!" exclaimed Hunter and Jemma jumped back quickly. "I'm so sorry, Hunter! I wasn't concentrating properly. It won't happen again, I promise!" she reassured him quickly. Hunter looked at her carefully. "He was okay," he said quietly. Jemma looked back at Hunter trying to determine if he was being honest and she deemed that he was. Sighing with relief, she sat back on her stool opposite Hunter. He tipped his head on one side. "Well, he was mostly okay. He was a bit twitchy but he kept it together pretty much." Jemma nodded, bowing her head as she took in the knowledge that Fitz had coped very well, judging by Hunter's account. She felt an enormous sense of pride for him that she couldn't help the smile that came over her face.
Obviously noticing that she was now much happier, Hunter leaned towards her a little. "Right then, love. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?" She looked up and saw that he was indicating his wound and she chuckled softly. "Yes, right you are!" she replied as she got up from her stool to finish the task.
FITZ
As Fitz got changed into his field gear, his thoughts ran over the conversation he'd had with Jemma earlier. He'd successfully impressed her when he recounted his attack on Ward on the plane (okay, he may have embellished it a little but his intent had been clear and he was confident that Ward had got the message) but the conversation had turned a little alarming when she'd started talking about arming themselves against Ward and proceeding to show him the splinter bombs.
Had he been so wrapped up in his own reaction and recovery that he'd completely missed how affected Jemma was? He knew she took a much tougher stance these days but she was talking about possibly killing Ward if she felt threatened. He suddenly felt very worried for her, so much so that he wondered if he could stay with her on the mission but then realised that it wouldn't work – she had to see to Mike and this Lincoln guy and he had to go with Coulson to get to the main frame.
He sighed. He had completely chickened out from talking to her when he returned; May's revelation that Jemma had gone to bat for him had thrown him a little and then all he'd managed after that was to thank her for the sandwich! Now she was going into a field mission, probably armed with a lethal weapon and he wouldn't be with her. No, nothing was right anymore.
SIMMONS
After she and Fitz had informed Mike that he would have to go to another facility for his treatment, Jemma excused herself from the lab as quickly as she could, trying to ignore the inquisitive look Fitz had given her.
She walked briskly down the corridor to her bunk, let herself in and then closed and locked the door behind her. Sliding to the floor, her back up against the door, Jemma let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd killed Sunil Bakshi! And she couldn't tell anyone because even if she said it had been by accident, she'd then have to explain that she was actually trying to kill Ward! Jemma's breathing was coming harder now as she thought about the repercussions if anyone found out. What if Fitz found out? What would he think of her? He already thought she'd changed. If he knew what she'd done, she would never regain his friendship let alone anything else that her heart wanted.
A soft knock at the door made her jump out of her skin and her hand flew to her chest as her racing heart refused to calm down. "Jemma?" came Fitz's voice behind the door. She quickly scrambled to her feet and took a deep breath before opening the door.
"Hi Fitz," she said trying to sound normal. To her surprise, Fitz held up a cup of tea for her. "Thought you might like this. You know, something calming after the mission," he said with a small smile. She took the mug from him carefully. "Thank you, Fitz. That really is lovely of you."
He nodded and when he spoke again, his voice was not much more than a whisper. "I know that this mission was very … difficult. Especially with Bakshi not making it out ….. but I er …. I know whatever happened to him, he ….. he had it coming, Jemma." He gave her a meaningful look and at that point she knew. Fitz had figured out what she'd done and wanted her to know that he didn't blame her. Tears filled her eyes as she held herself back from hugging him and she blinked the tears away as she nodded her understanding to him.
He pointed to her tea. "Now drink that before it gets cold," he instructed with mock severity and she let out a half sob, half laugh in agreement. He smiled reassuringly at her and then walked away quietly.
FITZ
Fitz wandered aimlessly about the lab, trying to get his thoughts in some sort of order. He'd noticed that one of the splinter bombs was missing and with Bakshi's disappearance, it wasn't difficult to work out that Jemma had killed him but he'd assumed that she'd killed him by accident. With her revelation that she'd tried but failed to kill Ward, the pieces of that puzzle were slowly coming together. Jemma had tried to kill Ward and got Bakshi instead. Feeling incredibly tired all of a sudden, he sat down abruptly on the nearest chair, leaning his elbows on the table as he dropped his head in his hands.
Grant Ward had a lot to answer for.
Fitz knew his brain was still struggling and probably always would, his hand would never be the same and for a while, he'd lost his trust in his best friend. Jemma felt guilty for surviving the ocean injury free and now felt even more guilt for not finishing off Ward. Why should he and Jemma suffer so much because of the actions of one man? And God knows where he'd disappeared off to now.
He sat back in his chair, his thoughts turning to the mission. He knew Jemma was only there for the indexing but he worried about her and hated the idea of her going somewhere without him. He gave an internal wry smile as he realised that he was truly back where he started; in love with a girl who didn't feel the same way. At least, he was pretty sure she didn't feel the same way but there were times when he felt her gaze on him and the odd occasion when their eyes would lock, each of them looking a second longer than felt natural. Was he reading too much into that? Was he seeing things that weren't actually there? He didn't know but he could be sure of one thing: this mission was dangerous and he would not rest easy until Jemma was back at the base.
SIMMONS
May had a face like thunder and Cal was humming a tuneless melody that was starting to get on her nerves. Jemma sighed deeply, let her head fall back against the seat and closed her eyes. It had all gone so wrong that she almost couldn't believe it. Skye had turned on May believing that S.H.I.E.L.D. had turned on the inhumans, Jiaying had been shot which certainly wasn't going to help matters and Cal was starting to look crazier by the minute.
The plane, despite being full of agents – and Cal – felt empty without Fitz. She missed his physical presence by her side. The feel of the soft wool of his cardigan brushing against her arm, the fine bone structure of his fingers when she clasped his hand, the way his breathing seemed to mirror hers perfectly. And she missed his voice too. She smiled as she imagined what he'd be saying if he was there. You'll have to test those vials, Jemma. Who knows what bloody concoction he's put together! We could be looking at another Bruce Banner! Jemma's smile broadened into a grin as he pictured Fitz making the Hulk smash motion with his fist but her reverie was interrupted when Cal burst into "My Way" as the plane descended. Jemma groaned as she placed her hands over her ears. Please just get this plane on the ground.
FITZ
Well, it wasn't Bruce Banner but things with Cal had certainly been hairy for a while. He and Jemma had wanted to stay with Coulson but he'd ordered them out and while he hadn't been happy to leave Coulson there, he was relieved to get Jemma out of the lab. Carnage had ensued and if Coulson hadn't been able to eventually reach Cal on an emotional level, he wasn't sure how much of the base would have been left.
Currently, he was trying to put some equipment together for Jemma while they waited for May and Hunter to return with Bobbi. Grant Ward strikes again, he thought angrily. They weren't entirely sure what shape Bobbi was in and when Jemma had put on her lab coat, she had looked pale, worried and almost distraught that yet again, she'd be operating on one of their friends. He knew she was thinking about the time when Skye had been shot. He'd gone to her instinctively then; she'd wept in his arms at just how awful it had been to see their friend in such a dire situation. Part of him wanted to hold her now just to reassure her that she would do her job brilliantly and Bobbi would be okay but he wasn't sure they'd reached that stage yet. Would they ever get back there? He knew they were getting close again but with his obvious feelings sitting between them like an awkward gooseberry, there were times when he felt that they may never get that comfortable feeling back.
SIMMONS
Jemma touched Hunter's arm briefly and gave him an encouraging smile. He only just about acknowledged her; his attention pulled towards the woman he was irrevocably tied to. Bobbi was going to make it thanks to May and Hunter keeping her alive in the field and her own efforts here at the base but it wasn't that fact – wonderful as it was – that had brought the tears to her eyes. It was the obvious love and devotion Hunter had for Bobbi.
Hurriedly taking off her lab coat, she went to find Fitz. She needed to be near him, to tell him she was worried about him going to the aircraft carrier. To tell him that she loved him and that she hoped to God he still loved her because there was no going back now. She was his and probably always had been. She just needed to know if he was still hers.
FITZ
It wasn't the first time he'd killed someone but he still felt immense regret about killing Gordon. The inhuman had not exactly been a good person but he'd been fuelled with the bias of Jiaying and maybe he could have led a better life if he hadn't been corrupted so early on. Fitz sighed. In the big scheme of things, it was just another tag line of a very messed up mission. Cal had killed Jiaying to save Skye, the crystals were gone and Mack had cut off Coulson's arm to stop the crystal mist dusting him. He wanted off the quinjet and if he was honest, he wanted Jemma.
When Fitz returned from the aircraft carrier, he couldn't hide the fact that he was looking for her. He had been completely focussed on the mission but now he was back, his thoughts returned to what she'd said before he left: "Maybe there is". Coulson had interrupted any reply he may have conjured up – although he'd been so surprised, he wasn't sure he would have said anything more coherent than, "Huh?" – and he was worried that they had missed their moment.
When he disembarked, Jemma was there and even though she welcomed the team back warmly, it was his eyes she looked for and it was him she walked towards. Running her gaze over him, he knew she was checking him for injuries. "I'm fine, Jemma" he said quietly and she nodded in reply. "Good. I just wanted to be sure. Fitz, I –". Before she could continue, May called Jemma over instructing her to catalogue the mysterious artefact they had brought back from the carrier. She looked back at him apologetically as she followed May out of the hangar.
Feeling sweaty and filthy, Fitz headed off to the shower. After shedding his field gear, he stepped into the shower and enjoyed the feel of the warm water not only washing away the grime of the op but the emotional riggers of the situation he and Jemma had found themselves in. Understandably, his thoughts led to what she had been trying to tell him. Did she want to talk about what he'd said to her in the pod to clear the air or to say that she felt the same way? They had undoubtedly come a long way from the resentment and bitterness that had littered their conversations when she'd returned but did she love him like he loved her? He placed his palms against the shower wall and leaned heavily on it. He could feel longing take over him as he considered the possibility of being with her in a romantic relationship. He wanted so much to believe that she felt the same way; that she could not only love him but want him too. He felt his body's physical response and a groan escaped his lips as visions of her being in his bed, waiting for him when he came out of the shower swept through his mind.
When the water started to run cold, he remained there, using the water's temperature to cool his libido. He couldn't go on like this; he needed to know one way or the other. He left the shower stall and dried himself off. His mind was made up; he would ask Jemma out for dinner and then perhaps they could finally move forward.
SIMMONS
Jemma sighed as she looked up at what they called the Monolith; it was going to take a while to fully catalogue what it was and what it might be capable of. A few days had passed since Fitz and the others had returned from the aircraft carrier but they'd been swept up in looking after Coulson both from a medical and engineering point of view in creating his new arm. Plus, Bobbi needed constant attention so there had been no chance to talk about anything personal between them.
She desperately wanted to talk to Fitz but the job had to come first. She'd revealed what she felt was quite a lot before he left for the op but with hindsight, realised that he might not have grasped exactly what she was trying to tell him.
Seeing Hunter with Bobbi had pretty much broken her heart. Hunter, for all his easy-come-easy-go demeanour had fallen apart over his ex-wife's condition and it was clear that he had no intention of leaving her side. It had been at that moment that she'd realised how heartbroken she would be if she lost Fitz. His nine days in a coma had been terrible but she'd concentrated on his recovery and not allowed herself to even consider being without him. Now, after everything they'd been through over the last few months, she knew for certain; she couldn't leave things unsaid. If he didn't want her anymore then so be it; she had to know that she'd done everything she could to let him know how she felt about him.
When Fitz turned up in the temporary room they were storing the Monolith in, she was pleased to see him but then he'd started wittering on about having something to eat and she just wanted to get this inventory finished! It was when he'd made it clear that he meant for their dinner to be a date that she became flustered and only managed an, "Oh" in reply. Thrown by the direction in which this conversation had gone, she didn't register the soft click as Fitz had leaned against the container.
As he'd left to draw up a list of possible restaurant choices, Jemma smiled to herself at the thought of how this dinner might change things for them, possibly forever. She then heard the door opening again and with the smile still on her face, looked up to see Fitz walking in the door with a determined expression on his face.
FITZ
As Fitz walked down the corridor, all he could think about was what Jemma was going to say to him at their dinner. He could have died in the ocean, she could have died when working undercover and he'd just come back from another dangerous mission. They couldn't afford to wait any longer to say how they really felt – good or bad. Trusting his instinct, he about turned and marched back to Jemma.
After re-entering the room, he pushed the door closed; he didn't want anyone else to hear this but as he looked at her open, trusting expression as he walked quickly towards her, words failed him. He didn't know how to express how much he loved her. His world centred around her and as far as he was concerned, she would always be the most beautiful woman in any room. Unable to stop the rush of emotions running through his body, he took her by the hand and pulled her towards him. He then held her by the waist and kissed her soundly. He filled the kiss with all the emotion he could, hoping that she would be able to translate its meaning. She rested her hands on his shoulders, not resisting but clearly shocked at his actions. It suddenly occurred to him that he'd gone too fast and blown it before anything had even started. Leaving his hands resting lightly on her waist, he leaned back to look at her. He was about to apologise when she moved her hands to the side of his neck and then kissed him softly.
Both overwhelmed and encouraged that she hadn't rejected him, he slipped his arms around her lower back and pulled her tight to him as he kissed her back. He felt her hands slide up around his neck as she moulded her body to his and his immense feeling of relief changed to something far more physical. He slanted his lips across hers to get a better angle and in response, he heard her murmur of pleasure. Looking for some sort of purchase, he walked her back a few steps to the wall and leaned them into it. Wanting to deepen the kiss, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip and as she gasped her consent, he slipped his tongue between her lips, searching for the more intimate connection.
SIMMONS
What the -?! Fitz is kissing me and good Lord, when did he learn to kiss like that? Jemma's heart was racing. She had no idea why he'd come back into the room but when he'd taken her hand and then kissed her so suddenly, she'd realised then that he was done waiting. And he was right. They had skirted around death quite a bit over the last year so waiting to go to dinner just to say how they felt was mildly ridiculous. So when he pulled back, an apology undoubtedly on his lips, she had halted that thought and shown him that she was on the same page.
When he eased her back against the wall, a physical desire for him that she'd only recently acknowledged to herself, flew to the fore and she relished the feel of his lean physique against her curves. Wanting to deepen the kiss, their telepathy came into play again as he beat her to it, the feel of his tongue moving against hers more exquisite than she could have imagined. Fitz had dated a couple of girls when they were at the academy but nothing that lasted more than a few weeks. For the first time, Jemma felt jealous of those girls who had experienced a younger Fitz learning the moves he was making on her now but she also knew she was being silly. He was here with her now, robbing her breath in the most delightful way.
FITZ
Fitz didn't want to stop kissing Jemma but air was becoming an issue and on top of that, his jeans were tightening with every brush of their tongues and glide of their lips. He'd dreamed about kissing Jemma for so long that he hadn't stopped to consider how his body would react to the simple act of kissing and holding her. Her cardigan had moved when she'd raised her arms and he could feel the curve of her breasts against his chest. Through her shirt and bra, he could feel her hardening nipples and what had started out as an emotional kiss to demonstrate how much he loved her, had turned into something far more.
He realised then that in his rush to show her how much he loved her, he hadn't actually ascertained how she felt about him. Maybe she was enjoying the physical side – and it certainly seemed like she was – but did she love him? Did she want something permanent? Because it was all or nothing for him.
Pulling back, he raised his palms to her cheeks and leaned his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he did so. "Jemma, I have to know," he gasped in between his uneven breathing. "Is this what you really want? Us to be together because for me, it's more than just …. you know …. this." He kissed her softly again and as if anxious that she didn't feel the same way, he barrelled on. "I mean, if this is some guilt thing because you feel bad that you left and you want to make it up to me, I –." Cutting him off with a finger against his lips, Jemma spoke hurriedly, breathlessly. "I still stand by my decision to leave, Fitz because I did it to help you ….I just should have communicated it better!" She kissed him then, hard, and before he could reply, she continued, "But this …. this is what I want. I want you …. not just for this," and again, she punctuated her point with another kiss, "but for everything. I love you, Fitz." she finished, her breathing still ragged.
Did she just say ….? Fitz raised his head suddenly, causing Jemma to look up at him in concern. He couldn't get past the three magical words she had just uttered. His hands on her shoulders, he held her in front of him. Unable to stop the question, he blurted out, "You love me?!" To his joy, she let out a small laugh and her eyes shone with unshed tears. When she spoke there was a catch in her voice. "Yes Fitz! I've probably been in love with you for years, I just didn't recognise it. I'm sorry." She swallowed hard then and he saw that the tears were in danger of falling. Cupping her face again, he leaned forward and as his lips brushed hers, he whispered, "Don't be sorry, it doesn't matter. We're here now" and with that he kissed her gently, slowly until they both relaxed into it.
SIMMONS
What surprised Jemma the most was how right it felt to be kissing Fitz. She had wondered if kissing him would be awkward, as if the chemistry of their friendship would have to work out how to transfer over to something romantic. She needn't have worried. With his body pushed up against hers and his kisses going from soft to passionate, it felt like they'd been doing this for years.
When she'd told him that she loved him, she'd felt such an emotional release that tears had threatened to fall but he'd rescued her from that embarrassment by claiming her lips again, drawing her attention back to how good a kisser he was.
Without warning, Fitz pulled back again with a rather intense look on his face. Trying to catch her breath, she managed, "Fitz? Is something wrong?" He shook his head. "No …. I …. You know that I'm in love with you too, right? I just realised that I didn't say it back and I –." She let out a relieved chuckle and could feel a big grin appearing on her face. "Fitz, yes!" she exclaimed, "I know that you love me too," she finished quietly. Giving her a small nod, he murmured, "Good," and then resumed kissing her before she could say anything else.
When Fitz began kissing her again, she knew she should stop him so that they could have 'the talk' but something told her that right now, this was his way of communicating with her. He still stumbled over his words occasionally and in this moment, it felt like he needed to show her how he felt. There was an urgency about his movements that mirrored her own and in truth, she didn't want to stop him.
As she felt his hands slide slowly up and down the side of her body, she shivered with delight as his thumbs brushed the side of her breasts. Their kiss turned heated and she revelled in making him groan as she teased him by easing back and then returning to attack his lips with her own again. Wanting to secure him to her, she slipped her hands to his arse, pulling him tighter to her, her groin rubbing against his. With a satisfied moan, she felt the hard ridges of his erection but before she could revel in that pleasure, he slipped his hand down her thigh, took hold of her at the knee and hoisted her leg over his hip. Surprised and aroused by his confidence, she groaned unreservedly as he ground his hardening cock against her repeatedly. It still wasn't enough; she wanted more. To feel his skin against hers; to be able to love him completely so that he would know how much he meant to her. She was in no doubt that she wanted to be completely connected to him in every way but this was not the appropriate venue. Reluctantly, she eased back from the kiss and pushed him back a little. He released her leg and as she slowly lowered her foot back to the floor, she watched as he opened his eyes; his expression a mixture of confusion and worry.
"Did I ….. was it too much?" he asked, his voice rough like sandpaper as he tried to regain his breath. Managing a shaky smile as she tried not to blush, she slipped her hands around his neck loosely and leaned upward, touching her forehead to his. She felt his arms go around her waist and found the confidence to reply. "No, it was absolutely not too much. It was wonderful and I want …" No longer able to stop the blush that spread across her cheeks, she closed her eyes, unable to look him in the eye. "I want more, Fitz ….. I …. I don't want us to wait anymore when anything could happen to us but equally, I'd like our first time together to be in the comfort of a bed, not up against the wall where anyone could find us".
She opened her eyes as she heard him splutter and cough slightly, a sign she recognised as him being surprised and nervous at the same time yet he nodded in agreement leading her to be confident that he wanted more too. "Plus, we wouldn't want to be caught on camera either," she said with a small smile.
Fitz jerked back, stumbling away from her. "Bloody hell! I'd forgotten about the cameras!" He swung round to look at the top left corner of the room where the red light of the camera blinked at them, almost as if it were teasing them with what it had seen. Looking back quickly at Jemma, he went into preservation mode. "I am so sorry, Jemma! I'll …. go and wipe the er …. cameras now. I'll put them on a …. you know, a …" – he waved his hand at her in a circular motion, frustrated at not being able to find the word. "On a loop?" she offered, pleased when he nodded enthusiastically.
She couldn't help but laugh at his panic. "Oh Fitz! Don't worry about altering the cameras, no-one's watching them right now anyway." She smiled broadly to reassure him and reached out to him.
"Are you sure?" he asked uncertainly. "Very sure," she replied as she slipped her hands in his. Nuzzling his cheek, she moved her lips to his ear, "So, would you like to come back to my room where we can perhaps continue this in private?"
FITZ
He wasn't entirely sure how it happened but he'd gone from asking Jemma to dinner to following her as she led him by the hand down the corridor to her room after what had been the best make out session he'd ever experienced. Luckily, they didn't encounter anyone and he quickly followed Jemma through the door, locking it behind him as she went to turn the bedside lamp on. When she turned towards him, his mouth went dry. In the soft glow of the lamp, her smile looked both radiant and yet shy and he was taken again at how perfect she was. Perfect and experienced, he thought and the realisation that he was about to go to bed with Jemma, his best friend and now apparent girlfriend who had definitely been over the 'final frontier' before, rained down on him like a cold shower.
The two girls he'd dated had each lasted no more than a few weeks simply because they hadn't been Jemma – not that he'd realised it at the time. He hadn't progressed further than snogging and the occasional touch of their breasts over clothes and now he was going to be doing a whole lot more with the one person who meant more to him than anyone. He'd been overcome with desire before but progressing beyond that was suddenly very daunting. What if he was rubbish at it? He had a good understanding of the human body but that didn't mean he'd be good at this. What if she was so disappointed that it all ended in an embarrassing conversation about how they'd be better off just being friends?
This was bad ….
SIMMONS
As she looked over at Fitz who hadn't seemed able to move away from the door, she could see that doubt was setting in. His expression had gone from admiring to unsure, pensive and then embarrassed in just a few seconds. Was he changing his mind about this? Did he think they were going too fast? Did she not look attractive in this light? Internally, she shook her head. She was being ridiculous; Fitz wouldn't suddenly have decided that he wasn't attracted to her. He loved her and a few moments ago, he'd had her up against a wall with such a strong physical response that had proved he wanted her. No, something else was going on. And then she realised.
Walking slowly over to him, she took his hands in hers, standing close to him but not crowding his space. "Hey," she said quietly, smiling up at him. "Hey," he replied. His smile was small and nervous and her heart went out to him. She kissed him softly. "In terms of full disclosure, I'm quite nervous about this. I've only been with two people before you and that was some years ago. I'm a bit out of practice," she said, watching for his response.
As she expected, Fitz let out a huff. "At least you've had some practice! Jemma, look, you should know: I haven't had any practice. I mean, kissing and a bit of …. PG-13 groping is the total …. total sum of my experience. I'm sorry ….. I –" He cut off as his face went red and she could tell that he was dying of embarrassment over this but they had to get this out of the way before they could proceed. Squeezing his hands to bring his gaze back up from the floor, she smiled reassuringly and moved closer to him. She leaned up and before she kissed him, she murmured against his lips, "Don't be sorry, it doesn't matter. We're here now." She caught his smile at hearing his words repeated back to him and he allowed her to kiss his lips slowly but confidently.
Gently easing back, she brought her hands up to cup his cheeks and looked at him earnestly. "I don't care that you haven't any experience with this. How about we forget about our insecurities and just enjoy each other? I love you, Fitz and I'm pretty sure that for two geniuses, we can figure this out. Together." She wondered for a moment if she had convinced him but then he pulled her to him suddenly, his arms wrapping round her back as he crushed his mouth to hers.
FITZ
He'd been about to bail. The embarrassment of confessing his inexperience had been excruciating and he thought, had all but killed his arousal. But then she'd told him she loved him and had thrown down the gauntlet of 'let's do this, together' and he'd been unable to resist. He hadn't quite meant to kiss her so hard but it was his way of saying, "I love you too and I want this to be good for both of us so please God, let me get this right!"
He was relieved to find that Jemma was as into it as he was, kissing him with an urgency that brought back his arousal. She made the next move by pushing his cardigan down his arms and then leaving it to fall to the floor. Following her lead, he eased her own cardigan off as he kissed his way down her jaw to her neck. His made sure that his kisses were softer now and he flicked his tongue against her skin as he kissed and nuzzled her. Her scent was intoxicating and it brought forward an urge to touch and taste all of her skin.
It seemed like Jemma had a similar notion as she began to unbutton his shirt. He removed his hands from her just long enough to undo his cuffs and to allow Jemma to take his shirt off him completely before he took her back in his arms again. As he kissed her deeply, she ran her fingertips over his chest and hummed with what he hoped was approval. "It feels so good to touch you!" she gasped between kisses and suddenly, he was envious of her enjoyment; he wanted the same.
His fingers went to her shirt buttons and when his bad hand would not do what he wanted, she helped him. Soon, her shirt was pooled around her feet and only her bra stood in his way. Almost afraid but tempted beyond reason, he carefully palmed her breasts. Running his thumbs over her nipples, he felt them harden through the fabric so he repeated the motion a second time. He heard with satisfaction that Jemma's breathing was still heavy and her head fell back as he continued to caress her. Unable to resist her exposed neck, he trailed kisses from her jawline down to her cleavage and then back up again. She raised her head, trying to kiss him but knowing what he must do next, he took a deep breath and ran his hands around to her back. His fingers found the clasp and wanting to get her permission, he moved his lips to her ear, "Jemma?" She nodded silently, her chest moving up and down rapidly in clear arousal. Thanking whatever Gods were up there when his fingers managed to unfasten the clasp, he slowly pulled the bra away from her. There she stood naked from the waist up and for a moment, he just wanted to look at her. Then, in sync as always, they reached for each other.
SIMMONS
Jemma thought that she might feel self-conscious to be naked in front of Fitz – even if it was just from the waist upwards – but the truth was; she wanted this. She wanted to feel him, she wanted them to strip away – both physically and emotionally – the barriers between them and explore what came beyond the years of friendship they had built up.
As he reached for her, she simultaneously stepped into his arms and the feel of his bare chest against hers caused a shiver of pleasure to run through her. Wanting more, she rubbed her cheek against the stubble of his and whispered, "Touch me, Fitz." Hoping that he would understand what she meant, she was not disappointed as his hand came up to cup her breast. She moaned at his touch, "More … please!" He began to massage her breast, his thumb rubbing over her nipple. As if sensing what she would ask for next, he dipped his head and took her other nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling aimless patterns around her peak.
Jemma's hand came to the back of his head, holding him in place as she arched her back, effectively offering herself to him. When he sucked hard on her nipple, she gasped loudly. Fitz raised his head immediately, looking alarmed. "Sorry! Did I hurt you?!" Shaking her head emphatically, she replied, "No! It was amazing! Don't stop!" Looking both relieved and aroused, he kissed her hard, has hands returning to her breasts. He gently kneaded them and leaning down, he alternately licked and sucked her nipples. The feeling was intoxicating and Jemma wondered if she might end up coming just from this.
Knowing that they needed to move on soon if they were to get further than touching, she reached for his belt buckle. Fitz drew back a little to allow her access and after unbuttoning his jeans, she pulled his zip down. As she began to push his jeans down, he put his hands over hers and stopped her. Confused, she looked up at him.
"Are you sure, Jemma?" He asked, his voice deeper than usual and his expression intense. Confidently, she stepped closer to him and whispered, "Yes, I'm sure, Fitz" and then kissed him slowly, her tongue deep in his mouth. The kiss was physical and a little messy but she wanted to convey just how much she wanted him. He moved his hands to her arse and pulled her flush against him. She could feel how hard he was and so moved again to push his jeans down. This time he didn't resist, kicking off his shoes and socks as well. As she went to remove her own clothes, he stopped her. "Let me." To her surprise, he then helped her take off her shoes and socks and then slowly eased down her jeans until they were both just in their underwear.
Taking his hand, she gently pulled him towards the bed.
FITZ
Fitz watched silently as Jemma pulled the duvet back and slid into the bed. The lower half of her body was covered by the duvet and immediately, Fitz realised that he wasn't having that. He pulled the duvet further back so she was completely exposed and got on the bed to lie beside her. "You're beautiful, Jemma. I want to see you," he explained, his tone leaving no argument. He was charmed by the fact that she blushed at his comment. She really has no idea how attractive she is.
He knew there was no going back now; they had both declared in either words or actions that they wanted this and it was going to happen. As they lay facing each other, Fitz took a moment to really look at her. He cupped her face and brushed his thumb across her cheek lovingly. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. "More than okay," he replied. "It's just that I … I really want this, Jemma. I don't want to mess this up." She moved her hand to cover his and smiled at him. "You won't. Now come here and kiss me!" she demanded, her smile widening as he leaned into her immediately.
Knowing they were both already quite aroused, he was caught between wanting to move things on and prolonging it so that it wasn't over too soon. As a result, his kiss was slow but deep and quite by accident, he found that this turned her on even more. Her soft moans as he rained gentle kisses down her throat and back up to her lips produced a warmth of feeling and arousal he had never experienced before. He felt so in tune with her, he felt his heart might burst.
Unable to hold back any longer, he gave into the temptation to touch her breast again. He felt Jemma's fingertips skim down his back and to the curve of his arse and as she arched her body towards him, he responded in kind, his hard cock rubbing against her hip through the fabric of his boxers. He lowered his head and once again took her tight peak in his mouth and alternated between flicking his tongue against her and sucking her nipple softly at first and then harder when she whispered for more.
Kissing his way back to her mouth and going by pure instinct alone, he slowly ran his fingertips across her stomach and then took her hip, pulling her against him. He wanted her to feel what she did to him, how much he wanted her. He was rewarded by Jemma moving against him in a slow, tantalising rhythm. He was so hard now, he didn't know if he could last through anymore foreplay. As if reading his mind, she gasped, "Fitz ….. please!"
Hoping that he had understood her plea correctly, he carefully slipped his hand beneath her underwear. It was the first time he'd touched a woman there and he was conscious that she might soon be disappointed if he didn't get this right. He was pleasantly surprised – and relieved – that she was wet already and as he gently made small circles with his fingertips, he hoped to God that this was what she wanted. Jemma turned on to her back and parted her legs slightly with a sigh of pleasure and he took this as encouragement that she wanted more so he halted just long enough to slide her underwear off. She was now totally naked before him and while she blushed a little under his gaze, all he could think about was how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have her. When she extended her hand to him, he took it and laid down next to her again and leaned over her as he kissed her hard. He couldn't help it, he wanted to be with her completely but knew that she may need further stimulation before she was ready for him. The problem was, he wasn't entirely sure how to progress. He raised his head and looked at her questioningly as his fingertips brushed her sex again. She smiled as she moved her hand over his and began guiding him where she wanted him to touch her.
Priding himself on being a quick learner, he was thrilled to find Jemma writhing against his fingers within moments. She clung to him as her body shivered and pulsated. "Yes, Fitz! A little harder …. Oh God, right there!" she groaned and he was sure that seeing Jemma open up her body to him like this was the most erotic thing he had ever seen. He figured she was close to orgasm but he was hard as a rock now and was unsure if he should stay with her until she came and then move inside her or if he should move inside her now. Thankfully, Jemma made the decision for him. Taking his face in her hands, she gasped, "Fitz, I want our first time to be together …. please …" and following her lead, he carefully withdrew his fingers and quickly removed his boxers.
Jemma moved on to her back and opened up her legs wider, leaving no question as to what position she wanted. He was glad about that because he figured missionary was the easiest one to master for his first time. Moving between her thighs, he then had a sudden thought that stopped him. "Jemma, I haven't got a condom! Have you?" She looked up at him through heavy lidded eyes, "No but I've had the injection so we're protected, Fitz. Come here." She held out her hand to him and he took it as he eased his body over hers. Leaning down on his forearms, he kissed her deeply, possessively. But he couldn't maintain restraint for long and needing to be inside her, he drew back from the kiss. Spreading her thighs further apart, he guided himself into her, slowly at first so she could adjust to him. She was slick and ready for him and as he sank in to the hilt, they both groaned at the feeling of utter connection.
"Alright?" he asked, his voice so husky with arousal, he almost didn't recognise himself. "Yes," she nodded, looking intently up at him as if willing him to move. So he did. Slowly at first as he moved almost entirely out of her and then thrust back in. He repeated the motion several times and he was enjoying the steady rhythm but it wasn't enough. "Can I move more? I mean … faster?" he asked between uneven breathing and as she nodded again, he picked up the pace, holding her hips as his thrusts became shorter and faster. He looked on in wonder as Jemma closed her eyes and arched her back as she rode the sensations that he was giving her. The fact that he could make her respond like this turned him on more and he started to worry that he would come before her.
Again, she seemed to sense his thoughts. "Lean over me Fitz, kiss me!" she begged. Willing to do whatever she wanted, he again leaned down on his forearms and kissed her passionately, his tongue mating with hers with an urgency that took their both his and her breath away. She hooked a leg high over his hip and this new angle seemed to push her closer to the edge. He realised that she was rubbing her clit against him and that sensation along with his cock inside her was what she wanted. She wrapped her arms around his neck, "Oh my God, Fitz! Don't stop! Oh … yes!" With a final arch of her back, he felt her climax around him, the sensation something so wonderful, his brain went almost blank in response. Knowing that she had reached fulfilment, he couldn't help but chase his own release. Tucking his head into her neck, his hand sliding through her hair to rest at the back of her head, he thrust harder and deeper. Overwhelmed with his physical response but equally concerned that he might hurt her, he gasped, "Christ! I can't stop, Jemma, I –" He suddenly felt her hands slide down his back to his arse, "Let go, Fitz!" she whispered and with her permission, he thrust into her over and over, years of unconditional love and sexual want flowing through him. With a groan of immense satisfaction, he thrust one final time deep inside her as he came hard. He then collapsed over her.
SIMMONS
Jemma breathed as deeply as she could as she took in Fitz's weight on top of her. She felt so overwhelmed which was a strange feeling because she'd never felt like this after sex before. Her previous two lovers had been good and she'd learned what she did and didn't like within those experiences but this was something else. Her heart honestly felt like it could burst with an emotion so strong, she wasn't sure she could contain it. She slipped her arms around his neck and turned her head slightly towards him so she could be as close to him as possible.
She'd been wrong. This hadn't been sex. This had been making love to each other and her only regret was that she hadn't realised how she felt about him earlier. She was about to tell Fitz that she loved him again when she sensed the beginning of uneven breathing from him and a wetness that trickled on to her neck. Realising that Fitz was crying, she tried to ease him back. "Fitz? What's wrong?"
At first, he tried to resist her but he gave in and moved off her slightly so he could look down at her. His eyes were slightly red and another tear fell slowly down his cheek but his expression was a mixture of awe, wonderment and embarrassment. "Sorry," he said, quickly wiping the errant tear away, "I'm being totally ridiculous. This is so embarrassing." Jemma smiled up at him questioningly. Relieved that he seemed okay and not really upset, she wondered if he felt as dazed as she did.
"I just …." He paused, obviously trying to find the right words so she waited patiently. "I just hadn't realised how good it would feel. I mean …. I assumed that sex would feel good but this …. with you …. seemed like more than that. I think ….. I think I just feel overwhelmed." He smiled bashfully then and she knew he was embarrassed to reveal that to her. She reached up to cup his face and kissed him tenderly and he responded in kind.
FITZ
Fitz lay staring up at the ceiling in wonderment. After they had both used Jemma's small bathroom, he had crawled back into bed with her and now they both lay, naked, curled up with each other. He still couldn't believe everything that had just happened. I made love with Jemma! She really does the feel the same way that I do. It was a thought that he was desperately trying to believe and if she wasn't lying right next to him with her arm wrapped around his waist and her head tucked under his chin, his shy awkward persona that he couldn't always shake would still have questioned it.
"What are you thinking?"
Her soft voice startled him but he shouldn't have been surprised. They had slowly built up their psychic link again and she could obviously tell that his mind was occupied. He went with the truth.
"That I can't believe we're here – like this." His tone must have concerned her because she moved to look up at him. "Do you regret it?" Fitz almost scoffed at how crazy she was to think that he would ever regret sleeping with her but he saw genuine worry in her eyes so he reassured her quickly. "No, never! I was just thinking that we've come a long way since …. since you got back," he finished awkwardly. He didn't want to dredge up old wounds; he truly believed they had moved past all that now. Luckily, Jemma also seemed reluctant to rehash it all. "Yes, we have and I for one, am very happy about it!" she beamed. He matched her open smile with one of his own and hugged her to him, "I love you, Jemma," he whispered in her ear. With a contented sigh, he revelled in her matching reply.
SIMMONS
Jemma reluctantly pulled her cardigan on over her blouse and turned towards Fitz who was sat on the end of her bed, leaning over to tie his shoes. They had stayed in bed as long as they dared but in the end her penchant for doing her job properly had won out and she'd insisted on returning to the artefact to complete the recording of it. As Fitz stood up, she noticed that he tucked his boxers into his jeans pocket. Grinning, she went over to him, slipping her arms around his waist. "Going commando, are we?" she asked mischievously. Blushing a little and clearly pretending not to be tempted by her loose hold on him, he put his hands on his hips. "Well, you've been able to change your underwear seeing as we're in your room but I can't do that, can I? I'll go back to my bunk and get some clean underwear while you finish off recording whatever that thing is." Jemma laughed at his discomfort. "Sounds like a good plan, boyfriend." She wasn't sure where that came from but it felt right to say. Hoping that he felt the same, she was rewarded by his eyes going wide and then settling on something that looked like joy and complete happiness. He slipped his arms around her and they sank into a deep kiss. The easy ebb and flow of it made her realise just how natural it felt to be like this with him.
Eventually, they drew back, slightly breathless and grinning like idiots. "Right then, girlfriend, we'd better get going. The sooner you finish, the sooner we can go to dinner!" Jemma, stopped mid step. "We're still going to dinner?" Fitz looked at her is if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Of course we are! We have lots to celebrate!" he finished triumphantly, giving her a wink as he unlocked the door.
Suddenly concerned, Jemma put her hand on his arm to stop him from leaving. "Fitz, do you think we should keep this to ourselves for now? I mean, it seems wrong to be so happy in front of everyone else when Skye has just lost her mother, Bobbi has months of recuperation ahead and then there's Coulson's arm! Fitz, I –." Fitz cut her off by placing his forefinger gently over her lips. "OK. I agree, it's an awkward time but I'm not keeping it from them forever." He paused as if surprised at his determined statement. She was oddly both comforted and turned on by his confidence. "I quite like it when you're bossy," she said, coyly but with a hint of amusement. He smirked and then took her face in his hands. After kissing her firmly, he said, "Good. Now go and finish that bloody cataloguing! I'll swing by in a bit once I've looked up restaurant choices."
FITZ
Fitz sat on his bed scrolling through local restaurants on his phone. Would she want something British like a pub or would she prefer a quiet Italian? And really, did it matter because surely as long as they were together, any kind of food would do?
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "Come in, it's open." he called. The door knob turned and Hunter poked his head in. "Alright, mate? What are you doing?"
"I er … I'm looking up restaurants." he replied, immediately knowing this was a mistake as Hunter's eyebrows shot up in surprise. Hunter walked further into the room and stopped at the end of the bed. "And why would you be doing that, pray tell?"
Fitz shifted uncomfortably. He'd just agreed with Jemma that they wouldn't tell anyone and yet he was dying to share his good news with someone. His hesitation caused Hunter to focus more on the conversation. "Fiiiitz ….. What are you hiding? Are you …. Are you and Simmons going on a date?!" he exclaimed, not caring if anyone heard him. Fitz leapt up from the bed. "Shhhh!" he stage whispered as he rushed to close the door.
Hunter shrugged in confusion. "Why the big secret?" he asked as Fitz stalked back into the room.
"We said we weren't going to tell anyone yet because everything is so mad at the moment with Coulson losing his arm, Skye trying to get over the death of her mother and Bobbi ….." he trailed off when he realised he was treading on dangerous ground. "How is Bobbi?" he asked carefully.
Hunter closed his eyes briefly and then re-opened them slowly. "She'll be okay – eventually. It's going to be a long road but I'll be there with her every step of the way whether she likes it or not!" With Hunter's lopsided smile and slight roll of the eyes, Fitz figured this reflected Hunter's assumption that Bobbi would not be an easy patient.
"Anyway," Hunter continued, "everyone would love to see you two heading off to have dinner together; it's hardly outrageous behaviour, is it? I mean, it's not like when Coulson caught Bobbi and I coming out of the store cupboard looking very hot and flustered, if you know what I mean?" Hunter grinned and winked knowingly.
Fitz knew he was turning red and powerless to stop it, he turned towards his bed, grabbing his phone and hoping that Hunter had not picked up on anything. No such luck.
"Wait a minute. Why are you looking so embarrassed at the mere mention of sex? Have you …. I don't believe it! You and Simmons! Without the customary first date beforehand too! You old dog!" Hunter clapped Fitz on the back with glee and while Fitz was glad to see Hunter with a smile on his face after everything he and Bobbi had been through, he didn't want him to think that what he'd had with Simmons earlier was just sex and nothing more than that.
"Look Hunter, it's not like that. I mean, yes, we did but it wasn't just … you know. It wasn't just something we decided to do on a whim. I'm er ….. I'm not saying this very well." He frowned at his inability to phrase it properly without resorting to, "I'm madly in love with her and it was the best experience of my life" because neither he nor Hunter would enjoy that kind of conversation. Fortunately, Hunter took pity on him.
"It's the real deal then? Nice one, mate," he said with a smile and Fitz sighed in relief that this appeared to be the end of the conversation.
"Well, I was going to invite you for a few beers in the mess hall as Bobbi's sleeping at the moment but I guess it's just me and Mack then," he said cheerfully as he sailed out of Fitz's room without a backward glance.
Smiling to himself, Fitz turned his light off as left the room and headed off to find Jemma.
SIMMONS
Jemma couldn't contain her smile. She could just imagine Fitz sitting on his bed, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to pick out what he thought the best restaurant options would be. Of course, it didn't matter to her where they went as long as they were together but she could already tell that Fitz was the romantic one in this relationship and if he wanted to woo her at a nice restaurant, who was she to argue?
Her thoughts again strayed from the task in hand as she thought about what had transpired earlier. Her body still hummed from their physical exertions earlier and even though there had been times when she wondered if Fitz would love her again, she never would have expected things to have progressed as quickly as they had today. She blushed as she re-lived the moments in her mind; when Fitz had eased her against the wall, kissing her passionately, when he had pulled back the duvet so that he could see her naked body, when he had slid inside her and taken them both somewhere quite extraordinary. Jemma mentally shook herself. Stop that! Just get this job done so you can go out with Fitz!
She wandered over to the right hand side of the container. Looking up, she noticed that the latch was unlocked. She tutted in exasperation, wondering who had left it unlocked, and leaned up to close the latch.
Suddenly, the artefact sprung to life, pushing open the door. Before Jemma had the chance to move out of the way, its liquid form scooped her up and flung her forwards. Scrambling for purchase, she tried to hang on to something but then she felt herself being dragged back towards the container …..
Fitz!
FITZ
Fitz turned the door handle and walked confidently into the large room fully expecting to see Jemma with her clipboard in hand. Instead the room was empty. At first, he was puzzled by this and for some unknown reason, felt the need to lean back into the hallway to see if she was returning down the corridor. Seeing no sign of her, he looked back into the room and then he saw it.
The container was open.
Fitz ran forward, his safety training kicking in automatically as he slammed the door shut and locked it. He stumbled backwards, wanting to put some distance between him and the artefact and for a few seconds, he just stared at it. Then, as if a sixth sense had started to take effect, he looked around the room, looking for something. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for but a cold sense of dread was spreading through his body. Somehow he knew there was something very amiss.
His eyes scanned the room and then the floor and it was then that he saw it just in front of the artefact: Jemma's pen. He knew it was hers as it had been a Christmas present from her parents; a bright orange casing which she loved because she could always find it. Slowly, he walked forward and bent down to pick it up. As he straightened up, the artefact suddenly collapsed into its liquid form, sloshed around in the container and then solidified again. Looking from the artefact to the pen and then back up again, an awful thought occurred to him.
"No," he whispered, "it can't be." He swallowed hard but found that his throat was suddenly dry and his breathing was becoming laboured. His brain started firing off several scenarios but all were so terrible that he couldn't discern what was reasonable to believe. He had to know what happened here. Maybe Jemma was just getting herself a cup of tea and she was perfectly fine ….
No. She wouldn't have left the container open like that.
The cameras.
Fitz pocketed the pen and ran out of the room, the door slamming against the wall as he barrelled through. He ran full pelt along the corridor and as he turned the corner, he ran into Mack and Hunter. He tripped backwards as he tried to avoid running them over and Mack shot out a hand to steady him. "Fitz?" he asked in concern. "I can't stop!" Fitz said hurriedly, and he set off running again. Hunter called after him, "Fitz! Where's the fire?!" Fitz shouted back all he could manage, "It's Jemma! Something's happened to her!" All he could hear were footsteps behind him in the distance so he assumed that Mack and Hunter were following.
Fitz raced to the security room, his breathing heavy from running and the all-consuming fear he felt for Jemma. He threw himself into one of the chairs in front of the bank of screens and rapidly typed commands into the system calculating that he needed to go back about 30 minutes but in his haste to call up the footage, he hit the wrong keys and ended up going much further back than he needed.
As Mack and Hunter rushed into the room, the screens all showed Fitz and Jemma kissing passionately up against the wall. For a moment, there was silence in the room. Hunter, ever the one to break awkward silences, joked, "Well, something certainly happened to her alright!" Fitz swung round to Hunter in a rage. "Not that! Not that!" he yelled. Before Hunter could reply, he turned back to the keyboard and typed in new commands and this time, it showed Jemma standing in front of the container writing something down on the form she was completing. Fitz drank in the sight of her and when she started to smile, he smiled with her. She's day dreaming, he thought. For a moment, he forgot that Mack and Hunter were in the room with him and he felt a warmth flow through him as he knew on some other level that she was smiling about them and what had happened between them. Knowing that she was as happy as he was, comforted him for just a few seconds because then she looked up.
Fitz felt frozen to the spot as he watched her reach up to adjust the latch. The latch! I knocked it earlier ….. I must have pushed it open! In horror, Fitz watched as the Monolith broke free and swept Jemma forwards as if taunting him with the possibility that it would spit her out but then she was gone.
Gone.
Fitz leant forward as if getting closer to the screen would somehow bring her back. Thoughts rushed through his head. It's my fault … I should have realised that the container was open …. God, where has she gone? I've got to get her back …
He slowly became aware of a commotion behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that Mack and Hunter had disappeared. Switching the cameras back to present time, he saw Mack and some other agents checking that the container was locked and then taping it off. Mack was shouting instructions but Fitz didn't care about that.
I have to get her back. We've only just got together; I can't lose her now.
Fitz looked up as Coulson rushed into the room. He stood up. "Sir, it was my fault. I knocked the container open and I –" Coulson shook his head to interrupt him. "It doesn't matter how it happened, Fitz. Where did she go?!" Fitz shook his head, "I don't know yet, sir but I'll figure it out. I have to get her back." His voice cracked at the end and he fought back the tears that he knew were trying to escape. Coulson put a calming hand on his shoulder, "And you will."
SIMMONS
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